Search

An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports

Open Search
Category

humor, political, sports

humorous look at politics and sports

“If You Tell The Truth You Don’t Have To Remember Anything”- Mark Twain

When the career politician finally ascended the steps to the big stage. He pledged to unite

He was in position to excel, however with the promises made to his America he wasn’t forthright

His handlers run out of the back to empty the Pressroom should one want to question his agenda

And rush him straight to Air Force One to spend time cloistered in his Delaware hacienda

“The Worst Thing About being lied to is knowing you weren’t worth the truth” – Turcois Ominek

Under the impression to just tell them anything and they’ll swallow it just because I said it. Teleprompter Joe believes he has power over your mind

What the party in charge is discovering is America might turn a deaf ear to the DC noise but they’re not blind

The video continues to roll of the many promises made and not being honored

Highlighting the blunders made by this administration and showing the Build Back Better campaign will be completely squandered

“Lies are a temporary solution to a permanent problem” – Krina Gopani

Lying Biden stated he’s been to the southern border before. Fact checks showed 13 years ago he might have seen it through the windows of a car

As currently thousands of unvetted, unskilled, and potentially diseased people push through the entry gates looking for endless residency he still only watches from afar

“The more you defend a lie the angrier you become”– Mitch Alborn

Denying any military advisers asked him to leave military in Afghanistan he growled, “The buck stops with me.”

Promising to leave no American behind, this falsehood killed 13 military personnel and then he retaliated with the deaths of seven innocent children who were oblivious to his guarantee

“I’m not upset you lied to me, I’m upset from now on I can’t believe you” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Potentially stuffing 10% of ill gotten gains into his pockets from his shady son’s business deals as he is the Big Guy by designation

Blowing off all questions shouting over his shoulder that was Russian disinformation

“Lying is the greatest of all sins” – Alfred Nobel

As with all who have been in power for the last thirty years, the bar has been set very low

“Read my lips,” “I did not have sex with that woman,” “Iraq has a massive stockpile of WMDs,” “You can keep your doctor,” “Mexico will pay,” all well known quotes from the DC throne as America sees these lies as the same deceitful dog and pony show

0

Bidenesque adj. (by’ den esk)

The dictionary has been released with it’s list of new first time words for 2021

Bidenesque has been added and is not complimentary to the man who had won

This word was now being used instead of the well worn term SNAFU

This idiom can now be inserted in any sentence describing a situation in which failure, confusion and chaos might ensue

The situation is then completed by finger pointing the blame, not taking questions and then hiding

While huddling with confidants to determine the best way to spin the current calamity in an effort to keep his poll numbers from further sliding

Pick any catastrophe this man has started and the bidenesque adjective can easily be inserted

Perhaps the word would had never been issued if the man had honored his original promises as his decision debacles might have been averted

Obviously he lied about his intent to unite as evidenced by how he qualifies for the bidenesque label

In his soon to be huge failure to electrify the auto industry gas prices have surged and the ripple effect left the economy very unstable

In Afghanistan he left hundreds of loyalists behind as he ordered the US armed forces to drop their weapons and flee

Completely ignoring his own military advisors as it seemed they might just disagree

His asinine handling of the pandemic was to politicize the virus with despotic mandates causing many in an already limited workforce to walk off the job

His quiet support of the leftist “defund the police” have left cities to be ruled by the socialist mob

His open border have thousands trampling over everyone’s rights in an attempt to gain all things free

Proving over and over that there’s “none so blind as those who will not see”

His sole answer to all his debacles is to increase spending and force that bill on the poor citizens of America for generations to come

So the term bidenesque covers all the policies that have and will fail supported by the democratic elites while the rest of us watch America become a socialist slum

0

China’s Other Wet Market

Much has been written about China’s wet market and it’s alleged connection to the pandemic

In a wet market the diner can select their entree from caged animals and any virus harbored by that creature may be passed along potentially causing an epidemic

Originally thought to be spread by the consumption of bats purchased from a wet market

Supposedly diseased bats were responsible for the highly transmissible virus to take off like a rocket

But there’s also another wet market in existence in the dark background of China’s have and have not’s

And this crime against humanity cannot be fixed by government mandated shots

Websites advertise that for a fee human organs can be purchased should one need a transplant

This abhorrent dark market is kept quiet and information regarding these procedures is scant

But for a minute imagine if an American advertising agency was tasked to promote this practice

The plaid sports coated spokesperson would address only those with money and status

“Hello folks, feeling a little rundown and in need of a replacement for your failing heart? With a brand new group of fresh dissidents you no longer need to be attached to that implanted medical apparatus”

“Yes sir we just acquired a new crop of Uyghurs and Falon Gong practitioners and we all know these people are of no consequence”

“So their donation to you will continue to extend the embodiment of Chinese dominance”

“Thoroughly checked by a team of doctors we can assure these donors offer the best quality merchandise”

“Remember, what you need was not harvested from some unsound prisoner who died in government captivity”

“These organs are from people living that very day but were ordered to donate due to their purported evil cult beliefs or anti-government activity”

“So get your credit cards ready as our supply is limited and as a bonus for signing up in the next 24 hours we’ll pay all shipping fees”

“Don’t worry about international outcry, the big guy gets his cut as outlined in the surcharges right below the limited 90-day guarantees”

0

I Saw A Biden Sticker On A Cadillac

In 2020 more than eighty one miilion people voted for Joe Biden to be the new Commander in Chief

Trump had been in office and his never ending bombastic remarks had turned off citizens so a breath of fresh air would be a relief

Yard signs, banners and bumper stickers appeared everywhere for the man who promised to unite

But just nine months into his Presidency buyers remorse was rampant and voters were humbly contrite

The bumper stickers once prevalent on the highways and parking lots were now missing as sales of adhesive remover and single edged razor blades soared

The elusive dementia case had soiled everything he touched and now with his constituents was striking a dismal chord

Inspecting this car with the Biden sticker showcased the current condition of this so called Republic as the car was abandoned and up on blocks

The price of gas had risen to the point that driving was no longer feasible so the local criminals had stripped all useable parts right down to the shocks

The interior was now inhabited by two people of unknown origin and three Haitian got-aways

Though cramped, conditions were tolerable until a spot for a tent opened up under the bridge for the railways

With what promises to be a free ride in this hull of a vehicle the occupants keep the Biden sticker on the car

With free medical, education, and no taxes the migrants can thank Biden for being able to fly under the radar

2

Reading Writing And Critical Race Theory

The Department of Justice is at it again and this isn’t about reading writing and arithmetic

Once in office these boards feel their personal vindictive agenda can be forced down the throats of the public schools


And now the Department of Justice is telling the parents to stand down, don’t question and to follow their new set of rules

The minivan moms suddenly had enough and were rejective of the authorization by the school boards of their liberal driven drivel


Faced with challenges and outrage by formerly placid parents, the school board deemed this unacceptable and not civil

Parents in the past had dutifully paid their taxes and were usually agreeable with the school boards’ decisions


Over time the school systems could no longer hide the fact the public schools were teaching their far left visions

The moms and pops had previously voted for unknown board member candidates based on the fact they recognized their name from yard signs


Now fighting back, as these empowered officials were forcing mask mandates and teaching kids to hate themselves, the parents developed spines

They began to realize after the fact that brainwashing the youth is a handy tool to enforce socialist views


Just ask Hitler who understood the “get ’em while they’re young” concept before they’re mature enough to consider what philosophy to choose

So the DOJ and the FBI were called in to help quell this uprising of parents who feel they have some say so in what is best for their kids


So now by decree of the exalted Attorney General parents will have no rights to question decisions as this the new law forbids

So bring in homeschooling and private schools and let fundimental education and common sense prevail
As this atrocious ruling by the Department of Justice escalating the death of America is just another coffin nail

2

Failure Is Now An Acceptable Option

Failure is now an acceptable option and no further action will be taken
The new mantra of the current administration has left America shaken

Create one disaster after another and then walk away
The lack of policy has left the professional politicians and their campaign promises in disarray

The demented one in his foggy thought process spurned on by bad advice has the pooch hollering for more vaseline
His drive for all things electric has caused prices to jump on all consumer goods as the economy still functions on gasoline

There is chaos at the southern border, the illegals have paid the passage fare to the cartels so their entrance to America should be okay
And when trying to maintain some semblance of order by agents on horseback Biden growled, “those people will pay.”

The Statue of Liberty should be moved south with a new insciption stating, “send us your diseased, your gang members and drug runners”
We’ll just add our open border to our ever growing list of presidential blunders

There has been nothing for the US citizens to hang their Build Back Better hat on. Take the Afghanistan War—please
“Sound retreat and run” has become the motto for the new woke military and leave behind an undetermined number of detainees

Then create a vaccine mandate to disenfranchise the last remaining workforce in the States
Bring in the National Guard and appoint everyday store clerks to enforce the jab and determine all’s fates

One should have realized during the election campaign this guy is not a leader and not one to unite
Hiding in his basement, unable to answer any questions and too cowardly to fight

So Joe continue to pick the pills out of your applesauce and keep the prune juice flowing
And remember to use your numerous gaffes to befuddle your listeners so the world leaders aren’t sure if you’re coming or going

0

Tie Me Freedoms Down, Sport

The rulers in a kingdom far away in the land down under
Decided in misguided wisdom to tear it’s citizens asunder
With a final gasp the continent rolled her eyes to the sky
And in a last moment of clarity she begged her citizens to not comply

So she sang:

Watch me government rule, Jule
Watch me governmen rule
They’ll beat in your head it’s really cruel, Jule
Watch me government rule

Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down

Keep me locked up to force the shot, Scott
Keep me locked up to force the shot
Try to sneak around and not get caught, Scott
Keep me locked up to force the shot

Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down

Let me citizens loose, Bruce
Let me citizens loose
They only want to buy produce, Bruce
Let me citizens loose

Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down

Don’t fire rubber bullets at me, Lee
Don’t fire rubber bullets at me
For throwing shrimp on an outdoor barbee, Lee
Don’t fire rubber bullets at me

Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down

Neuter the citizens for a police state, Nate
Neuter the citizens for a police state
Ruled by jackbooted thugs is the new life, mate
Neuter the citizens for a police state

Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down

0

Chasing The Mouse Click Of Acceptance

How the world is viewed changed significantly once the internet was established for everyday use

Add in the cell phone to record activities and fame should be easy one could deduce

Gone are the days of pink “while you were out pads,” beepers clipped to belts and finding a pay phone that works

The cell phone created a revolution as behind every phone’s camera a potential superstar lurks

Record your talent, interests and showcase yourself in a shaky video and wait for the international audience to “like” your production

Gain an audience with video attempts and hope with the multitude of mouse clicks your name will eventually need no introduction

Early television showcased local talent and radio featured those with a beautiful voice

But the few chasing true fame had to work tirelessly for their shot as they had no choice

Word of mouth, community talent or beauty shows and slideshows from vacations were all part of the creative urge

And just maybe with a little luck a future superstar just might emerge

Now a days shoot a video of an off key song attempt, a skateboard trick or the family trip through the Smokies and you could be a internet sensation

However after posting your video and receiving no “likes” your plea goes out to be “liked” in digital desperation

You’ve put your best effort out there to be judged by all with a mobile device and a short attention span

People are very stingy with their mouse clicks and if their attention isn’t gained in the first few seconds they’ll go back to watching the cat with his tail in the fan

That one finger movement hovering above the “like” icon on your video posting can be your ticket to fame

But with the millions of videos on line one more recording posted into the digital abyss probably is not going to win worldwide acclaim

As hitting it big on the internet with your cooking show, dangerous stunts, or travelogue would be a rarity

Though tempting, putting all your eggs in that video basket just may not lead to monetary and personal prosperity

0

The Snake Pit

The snakes had been freed, last November America opened their cages and out they crawled

The Spitting Cobras then proceeded to spout fictional stats, half truths and bald faced lies and any attempt to counter was stonewalled

Question the expertise and one can see the serpents coil and hear them begin to rattle

One’s expected to accept their spoken word as gospel and follow like cattle

Big Pharma is slithering around looking for another massive payday by enlisting the rat snakes to vaccinate kids

There is no long range data on possible harm from this serum but no one is to question this as the chief Worm Snake forbids

The border is not open or so the Puff Adder the big reptile appointed to Washington states

But those ain’t water moccasins crossing the river overwhelming communities and leaving them in dire straits

There’s still a multitude of people stuck behind enemy lines in Afghanistan

That’s what happened when their escorts out dropped their weapons and ran

The dismal retreat was ordered by the Chicken Snake in charge completely bungling the end of the war

Only to run back to Delaware and scream he was backed into a corner and lay the blame at someone else’s door

Campaign for the no count Sidewinder in charge of the west coast

Shout his praise over the din of homeless encampments, the noise of businesses shuttering and the crackle of forests that are now toast

Finally after your relentless attempt to destroy the United States and ruling over one disaster after another

Send your Copperhead out to face the press with her uncanny ability to act like any question is not worth her time and goes in ear and out the other

0

Trump Rides A High Horse

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines high horse as an arrogant and unyielding mood or attitude

After descending the escalator Trump figured that his celebrity status offered him considerable latitude

He could now pass judgement on all things non-Trump and the population would glorify this belief

After all, the US had just lived through eight years of democrat rule from a Chicago elitist and new blood in Washington would be a relief

The everyday American now had a man they viewed favorably on a reality show but quickly found in DC that didn’t help his cause

He thought he was in the driver’s seat but didn’t realize the Democrats and RINOS don’t play by any written laws

His naivety was evident from day one in his effort to drain the swamp the people he surrounded himself with were less than effective

He thought his adopted party would rally behind his leadership but failed to realize this group marched to their own perspectve

He was dealing with career politicians who were hopelessly in love with money, power and themselves

He didn’t realize the DC club abhorred outsiders and would appear out of nowhere to block his every move like diabolical elves

So he did the only thing he knew to do and lashed out at all those who opposed him

He relentlessly ranted on social media, television and radio until a large percentage of people lost interest and his once bright star began to dim

But he went to his pep rallies and whipped his remaining adoring fans into a frenzy with his tedious barrage of rigged elections, fake news and a witch hunt

His endorsing of politically weak candidates, his never ending rants and his own arrogance have forced the American taxpayer due to Biden’s disastorous policies to bear the brunt

All Trump can hope for now is for Biden stay in office and continue down his path to total ineptitude

And he might just be able to slip back into the White House solely based on the fact the current resident is completely unglued

0

This Isn’t About Your Freedom

This isn’t about your freedom, it’s about bowing to the little tin god

Continuously pound on the citizens as they’ll eventually tire of being runover roughshod

This half baked individual actually stated if you refuse the jab your employer will be heavily fined

What he constantly ignores is the fact most Americans realize he’s not in his right mind

If this man and his herd of fawning toadies had done as promised and had been the one to unite

He would be viewed less as a bumbling fool and more of the golden knight

Instead he goes after the American citizens and expects their employers to toe the line

Does the massive bloated Post Office, the thousands of illegal aliens, or members of Congress need the jab, absolutely not, but it’s all by design

DC cannot allow this pandemic to just go away as the Big Pharma lobbists continue to throw cash around

Untapped markets still exist as kids, Republicans, minorities and animals all need to be hunted down

It bears asking why force a shot with zero long range data and a huge survival rate

This ain’t the bird flu or Ebola, it’s a virus that attacks co-morbidities, the elderly and the overweight

There is unnecessary panic being driven by this group in the White House

The weekly failures are mounting, mid terms are coming so the false narrative is all that’s left to espouse

He frantically yells into the microphone stumbling over his telescripted speech

Fearful his big spending package that is the base for his whole agenda is starting to look like an over reach

So while trying to look like a confident leader to the rest of the free world he sadly only symbolizes weakness

As the tyrants of the oppressed raise their victory flags, Americans can only fight the nightmare visions of future bleakness

0

The Bidas Touch

It was the largest SNAFU in American Military history

But the real reasons for this unmitigated disaster shouldn’t remain a mystery

The USA after 20 years just dropped their weapons and ran

And the Afghans were left in almost the same situation as when this all began

Except now the Taliban was gifted with billions in taxpayers money in the form of new munitions

To help the remaining Afghans revert to their 7th century religious submissions

But was this fiasco really botched or was there actual thought behind this retreat

Perhaps this was all smokescreen and part of Washington’s continual deceit

With the President bellowing in his press conference that the buck stops with him

The White House actually accomplished two goals all the while pretending the withdrawal left him a political victim

By importing thousands of Afghani refugees he’s produced another open border

Helping to make all financially strapped urban areas government dependent advancing his new world order

In addition to human trafficing, he turned over Afghanistan’s vast mineral deposits to Chairman Xi

The Chinese need the lithium mines to create the batteries for the New Green Deal as one can foresee

So as the demented one totters away once again to hide in Delaware

The real Puppetmasters are gleefully rubbing their hands knowing that out of this treasure trove they’ll all receive their share

Forget about those thirteen young lives lost because at this point what difference does it make?

It’s always been the power and money of those in charge and it doesn’t matter at all about the dead floating in the wake

So while Biden checks his watch and cries his alligator tears

America is spiraling into the socialist trap of government control all for the benefit of the elite profiteers

But to the hardworking Americans watching the border crisis, his handling of the pandemic and Afghanistan this President seems completely unfit

Unlike the golden Midas touch everything this man touches turns to s**t

0

Which Way To Delaware

Much has been written about Biden’s mental state and his capacity to tend to the country’s needs

But simply put it is his hatred of all things Trump that determines America’s fate and the major factor in how he leads

Now after he makes a decision based on his hand picked cronies’ bad advice and his loathing of Trump, he then runs to Delaware or Camp David to hide

The optics of this horrendous Presidency is not only obvious to Trump but also to the country’s leaders worldwide

Creating one disaster after another Biden shows the grit and determination of a down and out gambler looking for his one big score

If Trump got it right it must be changed, handcuffing the the American people behind his pandemic rants creating a vaccination war showing all what the future has in store

And keep that pandemic raging by bringing in a covid positive illegals and depositing them in pre-selected areas to force the continued use of mandates

Trump wanted schools open with face to face learning but now shut them down until the deep pocketed Teachers Unions’ demands are met, this is not open for debates

Forget about his previous racist speeches of the past, he’s now throwing billions at minority causes to demonstrate how liberal he has become

When out of the other side of his mouth he’s stating “what good is Afghanistan to us now?” Sounds like white supremacy and then some

He’s surrounded himself with the most inept group of advisors one would have ever thought possible

Between his cabinet and military confidants it appears their only goal is to identify wokeness and encourage massive spending leaving congress mostly inoperable

Trump wanted a closed border so throw it open to all looking for a free ride

And let the towns and cities cope with this invasion straining all the resources they can provide

Trump had the USA energy independent, closed the border, had an orderly troop withdrawal on his agenda, canceled the new green deal, inflation was nil, and things were good as far as a lot of America was concerned

Buddha once stated. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, you are the one that gets burned”

Unfortunately Biden is taking America down with his blind anger and the citizens before long will realize what his childish behavior will cost before he’s done

Maybe next time he should just sneak up to Trump’s front door with a paper bag of dog poo, light it, ring the doorbell and run

0

Keeping The Puppets In Line

“Whoa! You there get back in line” shouted one of the supervising henchman

The regime had seized control once the Uniparty staged their own intervention

The new five fingers of government were there to make sure all toed the line

With the new ruling party each had an equal share of the money pie once they agreed to align

The DOJ assured that all rules and regulations would be strictly enforced and promote the socialist and New Green Deal ideology

Climate change now lines all pockets of the elites thinly disguised behind the mantra of a better ecology

Big Pharma now sets their own rules and mandates as the pandemic was a true windfall

By forcing the use of vaccine passports all movement is restricted and the CDC gets to play hardball

Sound the alarm on the biannual variant, demand a new jab or we’ll lock you down

Though technically having no authority over anything they get to throw their weigh around

The Big Government finger has now formed the perfect uniparty headed by the Demopublicans all career politicians

To keep their bellies filled from the public trough, putting all citizens under their thumb is their only mission

Big Corp following their green guidelines keeps all in line with their restricted supply chain

Limit frozen foods, ration beef as an environmental hazard and clothing can only be manufactured in three sizes to lessen greenhouse gases and acid rain

Big Tech gets to really flex it’s muscle by now approving all items posted on the internet

Anything other than socialist praise, dancing cats and unfocused vacation pics is prohibited as that may be a threat

Entertainment consists of shows featuring low browed contestants in illicit relationships, the 27th season of NCIS, and bad movies of an uninteresting superhero

All approved by an entirely absent President hiding for days on end with the only audible noise being the fiddle of Nero

0

Trying Hard To Keep A Blog Current

It’s hard to keep a blog current with this administration

The liberal media trained to praise all thing socialist are also left in exasperation

They spin a story one day praising the decisiveness of the demented one

Only to have Biden change course and their fable needs to be redone

He killed a pipeline on the first day and seven months later he’s asking the mid east to produce more oil

It seems he was losing popularity due to skyrocketing gas prices and needed his voters to stay loyal

He and his vice president both publicly exclaimed they didn’t trust the new vaccines

But America missed his bold vaccination prediction and he is now weaponizing the jab to interfere with the citizen’s routines

Taking credit for the jobs created by the states that stood up to his mask mandate

When in reality the new variant and mandates will cause the employment to once again stagnate

He’s paying people to sit on their duff, extending the rent moratorium, and now increasing benefits for their food stamps

Like baby birds waiting for the big government worm, why work when doing nothing people can live like champs

When things head south for his team he’s quick to stir the racial pot by screaming Jim Crow and white supremacy

As he hides from actual non-scripted questions in Delaware and Camp David afraid of his own incompetency

The border is wide open. The welcome mat is out and the invaders are being dropped in random cities by the the bus load

Criminals, diseased and the unskilled are all delivered COD to the taxpayers while confidence in this guy continues to erode

The Russians, the Chinese and the North Koreans are having a field day with their cyber attacks

With a firm “shame shame on you” from the woke inepts in charge we’ll see who the first country is that cracks

Demonstrating his true expertise he publicly attested to the military might of the Afghani soldiers to defend their border

Using the Biden plan of securing the border the Taliban secured the country in very short order

Showing the world in high definition what it’s like to have the USA as a friend

Cut and run in the middle of the night leaving the majority of their citizens in a hopeless situation they can’t defend

He and his administration have continuously shown they’re in over their head in so many ways

With the rubble left in their wake it’s hard to believe they’ve only been in office a couple of hundred days

0

Brace For Sudden Impact

Good morning and welcome aboard Third World Airlines based in Washington DC

We are pleased to announce that we have a very diverse group with us today including covid carrying illegal immigrants, two Texas democrats and an Afghan refugee

Because of our air filtration we have tried to consolidate the wheezing and coughing passengers to the back of the plane

We have removed all weapons from the known MS-13 members and have many rolls of duct tape should we need to restrain

We also have a special welcome to the Afghan woman on board and are truly sorry for all your sisters who have died

While watching the years of America’s blood, tears, money and Afghanistan’s capitols being swept away like sand castles at high tide

Upon reaching cruising altitude the flight attendants will pass through the cabin with a beverage cart, please try to have the correct change

Due to inflation the cost of a soft drink is now thirty dollars and we do have financing available should you need to arrange

For another fifty dollars you may purchase a set of headphones to view the in-flight movie

Today’s feature stars that wacky Hunter Biden in various stages of drunkenness, nakedness, espionage selling and all things he considers fu**ing groovy

In the event of an emergency, oxygen masks will drop from an above compartment. Place this mask over your existing face covering, put your head between your knees and brace for impact

This is important, should you live through the crash and you’re not double masked you will be arrested and that’s a fact

We would like to thank you for choosing Third World Airlines while trying to ignore America’s plight

So sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight

0

They’re Mysteriously Ookie-The Biden Family

Duh nuh nah nah nah snap snap

Duh nuh nah nah nah snap snap

They’re hair sniffing creepy and gaffe ridden kooky

They’re all together criminally ookie

The Biden Family

Their son is a conman with a laptop so juicy

He sells his color by numbers to a groupie

He deals with foreign enemies and gives a cut to Big Droopy

The Biden Family

The mini-skirted spouse is a doctor of nothing and really kinda loopy

But she puts the dementia pills in the Big Guy’s soupy

The Biden Family

Mysteriously hiding in his basement with his finger on the codes spooky

And allowing the U.S. to be a doormat for all thing Ruski

The Biden Family

The White House is an empty mausoleum

When people streaming across the border come to see ’em

As they’re in Delaware eating ice cream

Causing taxpayers to scream

The Biden Family

It’s time to put a protest face on

A gas powered vehicle to crawl on

We need to pay call on

The Biden Family

0

What The Initials Really Mean In 2021

In Washington when government agencies are deemed important they’re referred to by their initials.

The business cards all contain these identifiers when swapped among the officials

Things have changed since the original letter designation as demonstrated by what is to follow.

Randomly selected organizations are shown but new definitions of government institutions could continue indefinitely and that makes it even harder to swallow

THEN: ICE Immigration and Customs Enforcement This department was originally formed to enforce immigration regulations but fell into disfavor among the third world supporters

NOW: ICE Immigrants Can Escape Biden’s disdain for this group and his open border policy has provided much jubilation for the mainstream media reporters

THEN: BLM Bureau of Land Management This organization was formed to sustain the health and productivity of public lands, Unfortunately it was discovered that some of the land managed contained stands of White Oak

NOW: BLM Black Lives Matter The new meaning of these now communist sympathizers is to violently clash with everything white and demand to be at the forefront of all things woke

THEN: CDC Center for Disease Control Originally a group assigned to protect the health and safety of American citizens

NOW: CDC Center for Dangerous Communication A puppet for the WHO issuing guidelines that appear to be a moving target as the jaded public has grown weary of the constant revisions

THEN: DHS Department of Homeland Security Originally formed to protect America from outside forces that among other things thwart terrorists that may try to cross the border

NOW: DHS Distribution of Homeless Squatters Now used primarily to give an ole’ type wave at the thousands crossing the Rio Grande river and help on waiting buses as if under a direct White House order

THEN: FBI Federal Bureau of Investigation Formed to investigate potential crime on a national level. Television shows and movies praised the integrity of this group

NOW: FBI Foney Baloney Information In spite of the spelling this cluster of dubious individuals now just make needed information up to help their agenda and lie to protect it until someone steps in their own poop

Luckily rumor has it that a new Bureau is being formed that all departments will answer too. That being the III or Bureau of Incompetent Idiots Identified.

And the request for approximately half a million employees needed seems both rational and justified

4

We Expect Kickoff Within The Hour

The uproar was immediate. The woke NFL will now be playing the Black National Anthem prior to games

The furor was not from the beer fueled fans packing the stands, the cry was politicized groups feeling dissed were the claims

Soon the NFL was forced to acknowledge multiple cultures and lifestyles just to appease the many groups

In a misguided effort to mollify one group the NFL was now forced to jump through numerous hoops

While the crowd was still standing, next up to salute was the LGBTQ congregate with Queen’s We Are Champions of the World

As two transgender athletes marched across the field with the Pride flag unfurled

“We ask that you remain standing” said the announcer “While we honor the democrats”

Whilst the flag of Communist China was paraded across the field by two unemployed voters and six Chinese diplomats

The boos started raining down on the next participants as the elephant logo’d Republican flag came into view

The flag bearers didn’t seem to care the crowd was fearful that eight yahoos, one in buffalo horns, might hijack the game attempting an alleged coup

Finally last but not least was the nod to the Polish people with the high stepping tuba line

With the flag flying and the ooompahs blaring the end of the pregame was in sight and the fans could finally sit down and recline

The fans had started to weave from standing too long as the pregame had become an ordeal

So as the crowd settled in to watch controlled violence, they all wished they could have been with the players and allowed to kneel

2

Picking The Good Beans Out Of Weasel Poo

The demand for the exotic Kopi Luwak coffee has remained high

In their quest for a unique experience people are willing to pay big bucks just to buy

Like very fine bourbon from Kentucky or a single malt scotch from a small family owned peat bog

In an effort to separate themselves people are willing to shell out to be looked upon as the big dog

But unlike sour mash in whiskey or the peat smoked barley in Scotch the coffee beans in Kopi Luwak are harvested from weasel dung

So yes those beans giving off that that wonderful aroma came from weasel poo as the luscious liquid rolls around your tongue

Though technically not a true weasel the civet is close enough in size and looks to be considered one

Training for the poo harvester involves identifying good crap from bad crap, ten minutes of field instruction and your education is done

The American citizen in the last few months has a lot in common with the guy holding the weasel pooper scooper

It seems the average citizen is suddenly knee deep in hooey and the daily fumes emanating from DC leaves him in a brain fog stupor

Trying to pick a few good beans out of the muck shoveled on Americans requires skill and dexterity

As this administration will preach unity but if you don’t toe the leftist line this sermon lacks in empathy and sincerity

It seems the weasels of Washington have gifted the American public with monthly inflation, a border crisis and a huge increase in national debt

And yet they show no remorse in adding more misery to the citizens in a sick game of Russian roulette

Which crisis will be the one to finally cause America to crash and fail

So we pick through the Washington weasels’ excrement holding our nose trying not to inhale

Hoping the beans of stimulus checks or perhaps the numbing effect of legalized pot will be enough to brew

While holding on for eighteen months wearing hip boots and wading through the doodoo

0

Defending The Alamo In 2021

For thirteen days a group of mostly Texans repelled the Mexican army and defended the Alamo mission

With few troops and a small band of volunteers they fought Santa Anna and his regulars while low on food and ammunition

Eventually the Texans were overwhelmed, defeated and died, each and every defender

One hundred eighty nine men crossed the line drawn in sand and stayed to fight rather than surrender

Fast forward 185 years and the elected Texas democrats are facing a battle of their own

It seems that voting rights for all are at stake making it hard to cheat causing this group to piss and moan

Knowing they are out numbered, they did what any coward would do

They gathered up in a group, boarded a plane and to DC they flew

Leaving their electorate gasping as to why they voted for people prone to turn tail and run

Smugly these quitters tweeted about their gutlessness and crowed about how they won

Sadly they didn’t win. They just showed the world what American politics has become

Spineless people going over the hill owning the backbone of pond scum

Combine this group with Biden’s disastrous open border blueprint

And if this group was to defend the Alamo the white flag goes up on day one and Santa Anna wins in a sprint

0

Knock Knock

“Who’s there?” asked the resident. “Pizza,” said the voice from the other side

“I didn’t order pizza,” said the resident. “I’m actually from the the government,” said the voice at the door. “You are ordered to take the shot so don’t try to hide.”

Yes, it has come to this. The thin skinned President missed his vaccination goal so he’s threatening to set a mandate in place

Workers will now go door to door forcing the jab on an unwilling population promoted as a patriotic duty when in reality he’s trying to save face

He blew his 70% prediction as the numbers from a skeptical public for shots administered continue to nose-dive

The President so desperately wants to be looked upon a great leader after standing in Obama’s shadow that this door to door scheme was the best plan he could connive

He ran his campaign on how efficiently he could implement the vaccine roll out and hadn’t expected push back

So borrowing a page from Hitler’s book he’s now threatening to send workers door to door to get his prediction back on track

America has survived plagues of Spanish flu, smallpox, typhus, scarlet fever, cholera, yellow fever, polio and diphtheria

With much less medical knowledge and therapies but that doesn’t seem to enter into his criteria

He doesn’t care a large contingency of people feel that injecting themselves with unproven vaccines for a virus with a huge survival rate is not their cup of tea

He’s convinced himself all need this shot to regain momentum and back up his electoral guarantee

He wants to be remembered as a game changer. One future generations will compare to great Presidents of the past

So he’ll shuffle through life and continue to be a legend in his own mind until any rational thought is compromised or he breathes his last

0

Breaking News: French Food Is Now Racist

Recently a professor at the University of Connecticut found another example of rampant white dominance

It seems that dining on French cuisine is considered a brand of whiteness and for that the left has no tolerance

French food you see is presented in a way shaped by an upper and middle class norm

Causing people of color to dine like white people therefore the white principle of etiquette causes all to conform

So let’s flip the script on these broad brush strokes of profiling stupidity for just a moment

And force the French to dine like people of color at least according to television ads as a form of atonement

It seems a great majority of broadcast commercials feature black families eating at a fast food diner

Apparently ad executives feel black people have a penchant for preservatives, high fructose corn syrup and meat parts held together with a binder

So let’s put a French family in the same restaurant to figure the complexities of a meal with a toy

This family will first have to get past that everything in the seating area is vinyl or plastic making it hard for the meal to enjoy

Next a napkin was included but the salad, fish, and dinner fork, salad knife and teaspoon were replaced with a disposable spork

There was not a bread plate to be seen nor a cup and saucer, a wine glass or a sommelier for the wine to uncork

There was a very haggard looking woman to advise there were only two ketchup packets allowed per guest

That was okay as the refined palate was already in fear of the two slabs of questionable beef with a special sauce that might be hard to digest

Upon completion of the meal the family gladly disposed of the allegedly recyclable paper goods in the trash container

After a lifetime of dining on real plates with actual silverware, never returning would be a no-brainer

However a valuable lesson was learned when this family realizes the mustard required for the choucroute garnie was forgotten while driving to the picnic on the lawn

At the stoplight they would not have to rap on the glass of the low rider with tinted windows and ask “Pardon me sir, would have any Grey Poupon?”

0

This Birthing Person Hasn’t Been To Europe Either

The clock clicked over to 5:45 in the morning and the alarm began it’s annoying beep

It was time to start the day, the night had been short but there were obligations to keep

Make the coffee, feed the cat and make the lunches for the kid’s one day a week at school

Quietly laughing at herself that she sounded like her mother with yesterday’s “say so” rule

The routine needed to be kept, there were no time allowances for car repairs, a plumber or a doctor’s visit for a cough and a runny nose

What used to be considered just a cold now required examination, testing and waiting for a clinician to diagnose

Her husband couldn’t be a lot of help as his sales job kept him stressed and on the road

She’d taken a part time job at the local bank so juggling her kids activities and her job were required just to take in more than they owed

Purchases were mainly for food, clothes for the kids and to keep the lights burning

A new wardrobe for herself was out of the question but wearing a new sweater over her three year old dress would would stay in budget for what they were earning

No, she hasn’t been to Europe but a four day weekend in Panama City would be a real treat

What was once a spur of the moment, beer fueled getaway would now be considered a luxurious retreat

So this so called birthing person trudges on in her daily grind but wouldn’t trade her life for any other

Because in spite of the scraped knees, teachers conferences and any number of sweltering ball games she is still proud to call herself a mother

0

Biden’s Personal Bigfoot

Bigfoot, the mythical creature has been prowling the woods in folklore for 300 years

Said to be a large hairy animal with a rancid odor stoking many campfire fears

The boogie man is dragged out to explain any unusual happenings like missing beer, underbrush rustling, and cries in the night

President Biden has created his own Sasquatch to scare the naive public, that being all things white

It appears when America bought into this lifelong politician and the biggest racist since LBJ

She didn’t realize his sincere unity song would morph into a daily white supremacy chant putting said unity in harm’s way

Appearing to relish videos of rioting, lawlessness and destruction of American history

Seeming to condone the the decimation of monuments and places of worship all adding to this man’s mystery

He doesn’t hesitate to bring up the warts that have dogged America’s past but not mention the thousands that gave their lives on Normandy’s beaches

But tune into one of the telescripted two minute sound bites and one is guaranteed to hear the term “white supremacy” in his speeches

Easy peasy as white supremacy deflects from his own failed policies allowing unfettered border crossings, a monthly rise in inflation and disastrous spending

And what is more interesting the divisiveness pits only blacks against whites as his narrative appears never ending

Never mention the progress and achievements by people of color in the past fifty years

Only the ignorant think racial harmony can happen by issuing a mandate and just like that prejudice disappears

Compare this country to all others and try to make the systemic racism anthem sound logical

Perhaps by hiding behind his apologies for America’s racism the citizens will not realize the real puppet master has plans far more diabolical

So Biden will continue to bray his red herring white supremacy fairy tale and spot his Bigfoot lurking behind every perceived slight

While people are finally wising up to this narcissistic disorder realizing that reading script from a teleprompter in his creepy whisper voice doesn’t make it justified or right

0

Fred Was Ahead Of His Time

Fred was a visionary, when the work whistle sounded Fred slid off his Brontosaurus excavator and fired up his foot powered car

In the 60’s this was thought to be humorous. Sixty years later Fred’s green powered vehicle is considered exemplar

The wave of e-cars is coming. Light weight small battery powered autos will rule the highway

And all those foul gas guzzling vehicles of today will become a memory of yesterday

Except for the fact huge numbers of junkyards and landfills will be required to deal with all the hazardous material

Not a lot of thought went into banning the oil industry. Perhaps the new power crazy czars in DC thought that immaterial

They all gotta go. Look at all the cars on the highway next time in a traffic jam or just commuting to work

And don’t think for a minute the auto industry isn’t gearing up to treat you, their new customer like a naive jerk

They’ll take great delight telling you that $70,000 high end vehicle they sold you and are currently driving isn’t worth spit

Surprisingly not one part of your current ride will cross over. Because on your new e-car nothing from any current vehicle will fit

Not to mention the electric companies will have waiting lists advising when you will be able to purchase the new $1500 single vehicle charging station

Sure you’ll be able to charge your e-car with your current household power if you don’t plan on driving across a parking lot or take a vacation

Be aware on a public charger if you download the proper app and have an hour to spare you might get another 60 miles

That’s okay with the new green deal people because in a short time you’ll need to pay to recycle the exhausted battery for replacement with a cool $10,000 new one while DC lines their pockets and smiles

So here’s to Fred Flintstone he was apparently a leftist democrat and way ahead of you

YABBA DABBA DO

0

If You Believe It Then You Done Been Gaslighted

Back in the day under the evening streetlights chasing moths and tag were fun games to play

This was before the games of today that have evolved into drive by shootings, car jackings and running from pepper spray

Kids played with other neighborhood kids because that is what one did

Now the new norm is a kid has to pass muster according to a new set of rules and if not fun is not allowed God forbid

It appears the last two generations of parents have fallen for the social media trap of gaslighting

According to new schools of thought it’s not okay to voluntarily form friendships based on personality, they must be initially approved or sparks will be igniting

Social media has assumed the lofty perch of supreme ruler and they alone can approve, intimidate, badger, shame, dox or slander at will

Find a person that doesn’t toe the line, speaks their mind, or bow to some pompous tyrant and social media closes in for the kill

The term gaslighting originated from a British stage play and a film starring the scheming Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman as the new bride and her foray into near insanity

Footsteps in the dark, missing pictures, and gaslights dimming were all orchestrated by Boyer’s greed and toxicity

Fast forward from 1944 and social media has become the new poisonous Gaslight featured actor

Differ in thought or speech and the wrath of social media will be unleashed as you would be considered a socialist detractor

Wheather it’s the mainstream news, social media, or instiution, pick one pick all they’re coming for your independence

So put down your phone, close that laptop, and turn off the boob tube before you find yourself meekly answering “here” advising the leftist government you’re in attendance

12

Do That To Me One More Time

Back in the day Captain and Tenille crooned a sultry tune about doing it one more time

Toni Tennille coquettishly divulged she could “never get enough of a man like you” as that would be sublime

Currently that applies to the democrats’ version of Biden’s policies as “once is never enough with a man like you”

His agenda controlled by the congressional majority steam rolls along in a joyless attempt to turn America blue

His first 100 days were to change the course of the USA by way of bulling through executive orders and budget reconciliation

Forget about inflation and price increases passed onto the backs of hard working Americans while hiding behind the statement of no new taxation

Maybe a sexy song should be written about Biden’s first 100 days and the pain his agenda inflicts

Bear in mind this is the same length of time as the average lifespan of some species of blood sucking ticks

He killed jobs on day one saying the oil industry is bad and was smug about it until the gas lines formed

America was quickly grinding to a halt as gas distribution ceased, price gouging was rampant and service stations were swarmed

The southern border is not having a crisis, just ignore those hundreds of picnickers cooling their heels in the creek

The cartels are loving every minute. Forget drugs grab a child, charge a fortune and just drop the kid off at the border as there is no need to sneak

Buddy up to Iran, drop the sanctions and give them money so Americans can watch them burn the flag and chant death to the infidels

And claim to be a friend to Israel while watching their citizens run from the bombshells

Hide behind your Teachers Union to keep the public school children two years behind the rest of the world

And make sure to keep God out of the National Day of Prayer and on Police Appreciation Day keep Old Glory furled

Perhaps the increasingly poor and media weary citizens might try out an idea currently being employed by Chicago to control rats

The city turned 1000 feral cats loose in hopes of driving the rodents out of their habitats

However to control the rats in DC the cats would have to be tiger sized and 1000 wouldn’t be enough

Perhaps several thousand felines prowling the congressional halls could kill the rats but then one would have to listen to the big cats bitching about their food source being old, leathery, hollow and tough

10

We’ll Start The Bidding At $25

The auctioneer mounted the steps to the podium, looked at the assembled group and announced, “Well start the bid at $25 for this loaf of day old bread

The crowd nervously peered into their sacks of money hoping they’d have enough to spend as inflation was rampant and widespread

Fuel was scarce and the car hadn’t been cranked in months, the electric car experiment had been an abject failure and now food was hard to find

Cities were starving, there was no transportation to deliver food to market. Pipelines had been shutdown and cyber attacked leaving America in a bind

The national debt was too large to overcome. Trump figured he had eight years to eliminate the liabilities and was defeated in four

He had spent huge in various programs adding almost 5 trillion to the deficit while watching the economy soar

But a pandemic, the biased malicious media, and his own bombastic attitude stopped the eight year run and had turned the reins over to the masked buffoon and his idiotic sidekick

Figuring to quickly make his mark as a decisive leader he canceled all things that had the economy recovering and started giving away futile stimulus checks like toys from St. Nick.

Free medicare for all, canceling student debt and a green new deal will all cause the national debt to balloon

Much like Tinkerbell with her magic wand, the President was awarding his cronies with their pet projects as he thought himself as the omnificent tycoon

The economy had been led to the inevitable crash. The democrats had thrown the term trillions around to the point of no meaning

The citizens were hungry, the service sector jobs weren’t needed and crime was unchecked. America was no longer worried about greening

So a small group had assembled in a last ditch effort to bid on some food items to help the desperate kinfolk living in their small house

Wishing for a do over as history had been ignored allowing the USA to be hustled by their own apathy and a relentless media to elect a self centered despicable louse

0

Gentlemen, Place Your Bets

One cannot turn on a TV these days without being forced to watch a gambling ad

These commercials all seem innocent enough, bet a dollar to win a hundred with just a touch of your keypad

It all started with the state run lottery, to help the education system scratch a ticket, play the numbers and win a chance at the mega bucks

Of course for most people it’s money spent that can’t be recovered to pay the bills and that’s what sucks

Now the lottery has competition from sports betting and TV stations own betting parlay

So before this new administration taxes it’s working citizens into oblivion a national lottery should be thrown into the gambling fray

Odds can be given to bettors on the current gossip or political scene

For instance, currently at 10:1 are the odds being given when Meghan will be called a back stabbing goldigger by the Queen

For the first time patient player, a fools bet would be the date Trump concedes the election and stops his rigged rant

At 25 million to one what’s the harm in a dollar bet and then wait for him to recant

For the real players a good longshot bet at 10,000:1 would be when Jen Psaki actually answers a question

With the over/under at 1832, it might be a better wager to see how many questions she can consecutively field while providing her usual ambiguous phrase of deflection

Also getting odds is Biden’s new red flag gun proposal intended to help identify unstable people and will hopefully also apply to the Congressional House

Because at a little better than even odds it’s just a matter of time before a representative’s sordid past is exposed and proclaimed a nut job by his spouse

This money making scheme is endless, just imagine the odds you could get if when standing near a heat source how long it would take for all the Botox to drain from Pelosi’s face

And in the contest for the worst administration ever would this group win show or place

The list could go on forever the authorized betting parlors’ phones would be ringing off the hook

By adding 5 trillion more debt to the taxpayers bill in less than 90 days, Americans need a shot at big money before the government lays claim to their check book

0

Dragging Poor Old Jim Crow Around

Once again the narrative required dragging poor old Jim Crow around

It is proclaimed the State of Georgia has passed into law rules designed to keep people of color down

This places an unfair burden on minorities was the rallying cry

But truthfully the laws passed enhanced all peoples’ ability to vote but they instead listened to the President’s lie

He claimed the new rules hearkened back to the Jim Crow era when black people and poor white trash had to pass literary tests to vote

Latin textbooks were given to potential voters and when the script wasn’t comprehended the assembled democrats all had reason to gloat

Back then restrooms, water fountains, rail cars and theater balconies were all assigned by skin tone

Somehow this race baiting pandering President became confused over standard voting rules and his comments became overblown

He seems focused on a rule no one can approach someone standing in line with water or snacks

Gee Mr President that has always been a rule that no one can approach a voter line inside 150 feet and this wasn’t aimed at blacks

Remember how in westerns (and currently today) the bars were always closed on election day

The same applies here as all voters have a right to enter the polling place without being accosted by anyone with any message they might try to convey

There can be no argument over voter ID whether voting in person or by mail

This eliminates any accusations of ballot box stuffing or votes by people who have long since bit the dusty trail

So woke companies might try reading through the new laws before jumping into the cancel culture parade

If a group boarding a Delta jet used a library card as their ID and all had ticking suitcases the other passengers just might be dismayed

And Coke would hate it if people standing in concession lines were shown pictures of diabetic amputees

So before bowing to some small vocal groups’ portrayal of suffering victims the companies really need to dot their i’s and cross their t’s

Finally another gutless major league sports franchise pulled their Atlanta bound all-star game

Furthering the disgrace that professional sports has become and that’s a shame

Therefore if President Biden and his lapdogs want to continue to spread his lies

He needs to be man enough to back up his Jim Crow claims by answering real questions and all that implies

0

It takes a Clinton or a Biden to build a Trump

In early summer of 2015 a developer and TV personality descended the elevator

To make the announcement he intends to become the United States Chief Administrator

He was there to challenge the Washington career do nothing politicians

Washington was a good ole boys club whose entrance required passing the me first auditions

Trump’s primary challengers were the same tired names and faces that had been feeding from the public trough for years

Fueled by payoffs from lobbyists and foreign investments under a politician’s disguise when really they all belonged to the Fraternal Order of Racketeers

The Republicans itching for a change from another defeat by Obama democrats appointed Trump to lead the attack

And the fact Obama’s highly unlikable personal puppet was the democratic opposition is the straw that broke the camel’s back

It took a Clinton to put Trump into office as a decent democratic candidate would have won in a walk

While Trump won his states, Washington, the democrats and the press stood by too dumbfounded to squawk

So for four years the cretins from big tech, the press, and various government agencies mounted an unrelenting mud slinging campaign

The daily socialist racist rhetoric from big tech and the press became the recurring refrain

The bullying campaign eventually proved too much for the thin skinned obsessive Trump

A second term became unobtainable when bombastic tweets, unfavorable children and questionable election results couldn’t put Trump over the hump

Hopefully the Biden administration will create another republican capable of defeating this socialist nonsense

And give the boot to this pack of American haters hiding behind the “we’re for all the people” pretense

The Washington puppet master achieved his goal as the country is now only baby steps away from a uni government with one supreme ruler

Perhaps the country can survive another two years, if not we’ll be bowing to a communist agenda and nothing could be crueler

0

U Bee Racist

Racist, the word has spread across the US like kudzu over Georgia fields

When talking points are to be ended in any discussion one word stops all intelligent thought on all ideas that debate yields

In a world where any slight is considered a heinous crime canceling all reason is the new game

Any subject brought up in discussion will predictably fire up someone seeking their 15 minutes of fame

Whether a network, an organization or an individual the race card will be played

A talking head will invariably assume the cause and for the kowtowing media deliver a five minute tirade

The racist agenda is set to take on all comers in it’s quest to smother free speech

Math, movies, proper names, the Constitution, pick any subject and it’s not out of reach

What follows are a few examples of the idiocy failing to pass today’s woke culture

As they sit on their unhappy miserable perch waiting to pounce on any topic like a starving vulture

Voter ID Laws: These are considered racist as it appears to the democrats that people of color are too inept to apply for a driver’s license

It seems to them that minorities are only capable of music, sports and BLM violence

Babies: Infants are now considered racist as they seem to identify most with the faces that peer into their stroller

That is of course if you swallow the latest gibberish from some biased media paid pollster

Dr Seuss, Dumbo, Star Wars: Most mainstream entertainment is now racist as fictional characters in a fictional story from years ago might offend

Because an oriental using chopsticks, wise cracking crows and characters in black and white costumes can cause liberals’ hair to stand on end

Anything Political: Unless the proposed legislation buys into the the 3rd world socialistic goals, a ranking democrat will automatically pull the R-card

And because they know their policies are asinine, cower behind their walls, fences and the National Guard

White People: That race is born, will live and die a stone cold racist as indicated by the Biden people since his campaign promise of moderation and message of unity and good will

So Congress, continue to call for reparations, free money and the portrayal of minorities as the victims. In the meantime start a campaign to repay the families of those who died in the squalor and horror that was Andersonville

0

The Yellow Expedient Opportunist

Merriam-Webster describes Expedient “usually implies what is immediately advantageous without regard for ethics or consistent principles”

The Free Dictionary describes Opportunist “one who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve an end, often with no regard for principles or consequences”

As redundant as this title sounds any number of like adjectives may be applied to the man currently masquerading as the Commander In Chief

As he shuffles through his daily routine issuing paranoid mandates and destroying America while the nation watches in disbelief

Back in the old days when a man was labeled yellow he was considered a coward

Curiously the man in the White House made a career of standing in the shadows but the voters left him feeling empowered

Apparently America didn’t realize that on the man they pinned their hopes and dreams was constructed of Jello

And failed to notice as he emerged from his basement on his back was a streak in a bright shade of yellow

Consider for a moment that he hid for most of his alleged campaign and rarely showed his face

And when he did, he only read teleprompter feeds, yet the strategy seemingly worked in the electoral race

The fact he rarely shows should not be a surprise as he spent eight years peeking from behind his Boss’s pants

Only nodding along or parroting to the press the emptiness of one of Obama’s America last rants

Currently not taking questions or appearing before Congress to ease the concerns of the nation’s population

Calling anyone in disagreement a racist for questioning his horribly failed policy on immigration

Hiding behind executive orders and a Chatty Cathy press secretary trained in the art of double talk

He is in and out of appearances tossing wise cracks over his shoulder giving the nation at his yellow stripe a chance to gawk

This man and his cohorts demonstrate daily their hatred for America and her can do attitude

And to the hard working people that had voted for him in the past, he shows no gratitude

He won’t be remembered as a Nathan Hale. His only regret will be he couldn’t stomp on more American lives

Keeping his tax heavy agenda and his socialistic cronies in power is all that matters regardless of the citizens’ future his order deprives

He’ll have to live out his days content in the knowledge his cowardice kept him from standing for American ideals

And to the grandchildren growing up under his spending and rules he’ll be remembered as the yellow pirate as their paycheck will be one of his steals

0

Keeping The Covid Current

The dim glow of the lamp illuminated the people seated around the table and the strain on their faces

It seems some of the mandates were being ignored and yet there was a drop in new covid cases

The old crone was wildly gesturing with her hands in a willy nilly fashion

Her mask billowing from her botox features emphasizing her anger and misdirected passion

“Just who does Texas and and Florida think they are?” she screeched

“They are ignoring our hourly CDC press releases. We need to have those neanderthal governors impeached’

“Relax Nana,” said the oily guy with the half glasses. “We’re heading this disobedience off before the rest of the nation realizes we’re on a mission from Mao”

‘We’re letting the border situation take take care of Texas. The onslaught of covid carrying illegals will be our sacred cow”

“Since we’re busing these people everywhere when new virus outbreaks pop up we can order more shut downs”

“Hopefully the same will happen in Florida with the maskless spring breakers. They’ll travel back home and spread the virus all over their towns”

Suddenly the mood in the room brightened. A warm glow showed on all in attendance

They realized that wonderful pandemic was keeping their electorate from thinking independence

The group then relaxed and sat back dreamily eyeing their blue state payoffs and newly acquired riches

Secure in knowing that by creating an occasional crisis and then throwing the gullible public a bone, they can continue to treat all citizens as their little bitches

0

Through The Looking Glass

The man peered through the mirror and what he saw left him floored

Right across the pond another leader struggled with similar life travails and the relentless press he abhorred

It seems the next in line to the British throne had been waiting for ascension for more than two decades

Relegated to meaningless Royal functions and marionette waves from the carriage in celebratory parades

Like this newly minted leader who had been lingering 47 years to assume command

This Prince understood what it is to watch his kingdom be ruled by another firsthand

Surprised by the similarities the mirror reflected, the new leader managed a feeble smile

Because in the public life you so vigorously sought every remark can become a civil trial

It seems early in their careers both men’s first wife became a tragic car accident fatality

Both became high profile widowers trying to raise two sons subject to the prying presses’ impersonality

They remarried, one to a political junkie and one to a former sweetheart

And since their much publicized romance and wedding they haven’t been apart

The sons all took different paths in hiding their grief from the tabloid’s eyes and becoming an adult

Two accepted the straight and narrow to maturity while the other two proved more difficult

The firstborn assumed the more traditional high profile duties, while a wilder life the younger two chose

While one snorted drugs with his silver spoon, the other was led around by the ring in his nose

It’s pretty obvious the new leader and the one on hold are still waiting to be completely accepted by their respective nation

The mirror doesn’t lie whether looking into or through the glass it’s remarkable that somewhere out there exists duplication

0

Horton Hears A Commie

The speck of dust floated past as Horton cooled in his pool

Tiny voices were screaming obscenities from the dust to cancel books from their preschool

Horton’s big heart was saddened as he was sure the Sneetches were behind all this fuss

These Sneetches appointed themselves as knowing what’s best for everyone and that is what really disgusts

They felt chosen as they alone had the ear of their new puppet leader who hides in his basement

The Sneetches knew they had to cancel everything they didn’t like before this stammering ruler needs a replacement

Horton was just not sure what to do about this new group of angry Sneetches

They all felt they had the right to dictate everyone’s thoughts as they lived behind their walls on their private beaches

The old Sneetches had a star on them that once removed they all became decent creatures

But this new group had no stars just an angry attitude, an ignorant philosophy and yet appointed themselves as omnipotent teachers

“These books are bad,” they screamed. “We reserve the right to cancel any thought outside of ours”

The Sneetches now masquerade as normal people as they don’t have any identifying stars

Horton has heard what happens when books are banned

Little creatures are squashed as an elite few become rulers of the land

“The more you read, the more things you will know

The more that you learn, the more places you will go”

Horton knew that from books he had read

So he thought hard what to do with that dust speck before his nation was mislead

Suddenly a great idea came to him before the whole country was exposed to this disgrace

He sucked that dust particle into his trunk and with all his might blew that speck into outer space

0

New Guidelines for the Chinese Drive Thru Anal Test Sites

Breaking news as we go to press, the Chinese Disease Control or CDC has issued the following release

Masks must worn in public at all times or risk arrest by the police

The release also stated there is no time limit set as to when the mask mandate will expire

However there are instances when more than one mask will be required

The Chinese seemed particularly concerned about the drive thru anal swab testing sites

The anal swab team has been issued specific guidelines to follow with each car to not violate the citizens’ rights

The tester must remain respectful at all times regardless of the size of the tush hanging out the window

The tester must be willing to assist those having their keister wedged in the window opening of a Ford Pinto

The area to be swabbed must be thoroughly cleaned before proceeding to the next step

A pressure wash machine is available for extreme cases but the cleansing is usually accomplished with an alcohol prep

The tester will always be double gloved with the first glove replaced after every test

That glove is then cleaned, sanitized and by an apprentice blown into checking for leaks to be ready for the next guest

The visitor will always indicate what they had for dinner the previous night

As that reveals to the tester how many masks they need to wear to remain conscious and upright

Though three masks are the maximum the CDC allows most testers have a few extras in their backpack

Because after an all you can eat dinner of fish paste and General Tso’s Spicy Chicken three masks are not enough to approach that crack

And in the case of the notorious Wo Big Fat whose rear oozes out the window and covers the door knob

The tester drawing the short straw will need a fourth mask and a much larger swab

Hopefully by understanding these guidelines one can hang their butt out the window with assurance

That the testing will be professional, mostly painless and covered by your insurance

0

Teach Your Children

The answers to an online pandemic pop quiz that no one took had just been issued

The Teachers Union decided to strike so the sanitized but empty classrooms continued

Emphasizing to the children that they are a pawn in this politicized disease

And run screaming into the night every time a student might sneeze

Allow the kids to lose at least a year of education as they disappear into a wifi world

As the new leftist gender bashing flag is raised and the banner unfurled

The teachers have been handed a carte blanche right to expose pupils to their own hatred, frustrations and broken dreams

For not being the CEO, beauty queen or top athlete, haunting the students class work as part of the one gender scheme

Instruct five year olds in their right to identity choice and ridicule the kid with the Paw Patrol lunch box

Question the students’ whiteness, deride the Constitution and treat women athletes as second class jocks

Let the transgender woman who couldn’t cut it on a men’s team, be dominant as a female instilling a warped sense of power

And as a bonus use the women’s locker room and watch the women shower

The virus has been a true tool for the Teachers Union ultimate goal

That is to stay both seemingly relevant and in control

Turning out scores of functional illiterates keeping the low income government funded housing filled

As leftist radicals and unions count on the second rate education to keep their voters ignorant and unskilled

So thank the frenetic democratic mail in campaign and deal with the voters’ remorse no matter how grim

Because the man elected and heading this radical change will have forgotten about you long before you forget about him

0

What Was Once History Is Now History

All he had to do to reach Washington was conduct a massive media fueled mail-in campaign

Not taking questions and cloistered in his basement keeping leftist policies hidden so he had no need to explain

His rallies were low key affairs attended by about two dozen supporters

Make that one dozen as the balance were boot licking reporters

The over hyped virus ravaging the country was a lucky political break

The mail in ballots poured in while the in person voters unnerved by all the media hand wringing did not partake

It was easy to shut down classrooms by waving the omnipresent covid wand rendering the population government dependent

Hiding behind the bullying Teachers Union using the hysterical cry that death to all was imminent

The kids when returning to the classroom will now be under the influence that all old history is to be ignored

Learn that motivation, hard work and dedication are traits to be abhorred

Pride in your school, team and America is old school thought

Sneer at the sacrifice and lives lost keeping America free in battles fought

Learn to wear your causes on your sleeve and feel every slight in life is a personal attack

Take no responsibilities for your actions knowing some ratings hungry news outlet will pick up your slack

Turn protests into riots, pull down monuments and continue to eliminate history

If a government reliant population is considered Utopia why are people from other countries risking everything to just get in? Not seeing that remains a mystery

0

Guns, Walls And Washington

Some 500 years ago the Ming reinforced the Great Wall of China to keep invaders out

Centuries in the making the wall was patrolled by armed countrymen along the 1300 mile route

For ages various Kingdoms made their moats deep and their wall high

Armed with the weapons of that era the walls protected the peasants the King depended on for his food supply

Fast forward to August 13, 1961 and the Berlin Wall was constructed and patrolled by armed guards to keep their citizens in

These people had a look at communism and were fleeing the totalitarian government and the individual freedom suffocation that would bring

On January 7, Washington built its own wall and this one isn’t protecting their border

Reinforced by 25,000 troops with automatic weapons this barrier was constructed to restore order

It seems this wall and bullets were there to protect the ruling class from their own citizens

Erected because a group of largely unarmed protesters were expressing their sheer displeasure in the leftist visions

Looking like a documentary newsreel the razor wire, the armed guards and military vehicles were giving the world a new American perspective

That just maybe the newly elected party’s views were idealistic but realistically very defective

Surrounding themselves with a war strength battalion of soldiers simply because for a few minutes the completely insulated lawmakers felt the same terror and panic the underprivileged feel on a daily basis

The criminal gangs living in the liberal vacuum run rampant daily in their staked out territories as the underserved remain faceless

To counter the gangs’ terroristic freedom and escalating crime, Washington has decided to disarm it’s law abiding citizens

The elites, who have long forgotten their constituents might just need to defend themselves, are proposing a gun grab costing these same tax paying citizens millions

This won’t affect the gangs at all as the judicial system has a soft spot for these lawless thugs

“They had a terrible upbringing so turn them loose,” is the cry as the gangsters laugh up their sleeves and continue to traffic drugs

Maybe Berlin was right, build a wall around Washington just to keep the lawmakers in

And like Siamese fighting fish kept in close quarters they’ll devour each other and that would be a good thing

2

With No Trump Are They Out Of Aces?

The hand had been played and the object of their hatred had emerged untouched

And the jewelry around their necks had finger print indentations from the pearls they clutched

He was gone, the slings and arrows fired from the last four years had missed their mark

But the storming of the Capitol was to be their shining moment, the zenith in the arc

Time slipped away while they spent weeks posturing for the fawning media, describing harrowing moments, shedding alligator tears and screaming for retribution

The major obstacle to this grandiose show was the impeachment definition written in the Constitution

That despicable individual had left office when his time was up and now lives down south

It seems impeachment charges cannot be brought against a private citizen; the oh so obvious ruling left a bad taste in their mouth

On the big stage of Congressional bridge the impeachment attempt was at best a two club bid

Particularly when one of the main players remained out of sight and on this activity called a lid

The defense lawyers doubled the weak offering and walked away with the grand slam

And forgotten middle Americans knew for a fact this was an appalling waste of money and a total sham

But throwing good money after bad to put on this dog and pony show is how Washington conducts their biz

In spite of their democratic grandstanding the House managed to show the world who the dummy is

0

When More Is Never Enough

The American citizens tired of Trump’s raucous rants and hearing the words rigged, fake news and witch hunt were elated

Their Big Guy had been elected, they marched to the polls and did what Facebook, Twitter and Instagram had dictated

They all watched with joy as the Big Guy sat down next to a stack of executive orders and commenced to sign

The groveling media and leftists everywhere were ecstatic as the Big Guy autographed the bottom line

While half of America watched in horror, he signed away individual freedoms while taking major bites from their pocketbook

Time to strike before the new Congress can argue as they’re not necessary because the Big Guy has a phone, a pen and the public on the hook

Quick to rejoin the Paris Accord, the economic crippling agreement using US taxpayers to essentially fund China and other countries to take our manufacturing jobs

Indifferent to the cry from the right as the new left regime treats all citizens not in the socialist breakfast club as doorknobs

With a quick stroke of the pen he eliminated the Keystone XL pipeline and put 16,000 out of work

When asked about this one of his toadies replied “we hope they can find other work,’ he said with a smirk

This means dependence on foreign oil as this man seems willing to trade blood for oil demonstrated by US tanks rolling into Syria immediately increasing US presence in the Middle east

How are we going to pay for more troops abroad and the Paris Accord, the taxpayers of course as they are just a month away from feeling the fleece

This will be a demonstration through the deaths of Americans and foreign nationals that dependence on oil is bad while alternative energy is to be revered

We won’t discuss how the manufacturing plants needed to supply goods for this new energy are coal powered and landfills will soon be brimming with their toxic waste but compliance to the policy must be adhered

Soon the taxpayers will be shelling out for the healthcare and welfare benefits for thousands of soon to be illegal aliens now currently living in Guatemala

Because they all know American citizens will be paying their expenses as the USA is their big piňata

So shortly when the the left voting taxpayers realize their vote was a disastrous decision they have no grounds to bitch

Because in reality every left leaning device they used to mindlessly control their thoughts there was always an on/off switch

0

In Remembrance Of Ma Bell

There was an old lady that lived in a shoe

She controlled the phone company and there was nothing anyone could do

She ruled with an iron fist, she owned the land lines, the rates and most of the the phones

She alone decided what you’d pay to use her phones and there was no choice in dial tones

She made you pay for party lines, more for private lines and way more for a long distance call

She owned the yellow pages and their crazy rates for a ¼ page, she owned it all

Before social media came to be, you needed Ma Bell to “reach out and touch someone”

But momentum started to change and this monopoly was broken into Baby Bells and all thought Ma Bell was done

“Monopolies are bad” screamed the public and lawmakers in DC

“From businesses that control us and our interests we must be free”

The Sherman Antitrust Act introduced in 1890 was an attempt to stop an industry from controlling all free thought and trade

Then in 1914 Congress passed the Clayton Antitrust Act and formed the Federal Trade Commission to see the ruling against monopolies must be obeyed

Fast Forward 97 years and new monopolies are formed and band together to control what is now all digital communication

Twitter, Apple, Google and Amazon formed the super oligopoly showing contempt for the law with no limit to their overbearing deprivation

So you may wonder what happened to free thought and speech when it is gone

Blame it on now Grandma Bell, her children may not have made a ripple but the grandkids are her evil spawn

0

It Didn’t Take Long

Everyone knew it was coming, that pesky Constitution and those annoying Amendments needed to go away

Those seventy four MILLION citizens that voted against their rights being stripped from them need to pay

The far left vision of government control has always worked so well in Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea

Yet here they are, the unmotivated, the Tik Tok dancers and the socialist educated youth all enamored with the idea

The people that believed in individual freedom had lost and it was time to attack the rules of the land

The Constitution and it’s Amendments need to be demolished and the new Congress had that all planned

The surprising aspect to this onslaught was how fast it transpired

The President elect was still two weeks from office when a coven of Tech giants in the first amendment ‘s demise had conspired

The first amendment’s destruction sure didn’t take long and if working in numerical order next will come the right to bear arms

This new country needs it’s citizens defenseless, standing up for your freedom can cause the left’s rampant march harm

It’s easy to to patrol the streets and round up unarmed defenseless dissenters before sending them to 2021’s version of a concentration camp

“The Nazi party should not become a constable of public opinion but must dominate it. It must not become a servant of the masses but their master.” says a quote from Hitler’s Mein Kampf

Protection from unreasonable searches and seizures as advised in Amendment IV is going by the wayside

When online communication is controlled by fawning toadies in private companies who feel only they can decide

The FBI will be moved to the forefront in search and seizures as over the recent past this pack of lackeys has demonstrated how honorable they are

Compromise will not happen and pushback seems inevitable, as my way or the highway will make life in the new America quite bizarre

So America you have a ringside seat to watch what happens when fanatics are given total control

You truly will be bystanders to the formation of a dictatorship that will first steal your rights and then come for your soul

0

The Chick Kick

the chick kick

The Vanderbilt football team was struggling through a winless season

Covid cancellations, players opting out and a very tough schedule were the given reasons

Socially distanced fans were keeping their distance by staying miles away

To keep the team relevant a soccer player from the women’s team was brought in creating a feminist red letter day

The teams regular kicker had tested positive and was on virus restrictions

Adding a woman to the team could generate interest and boost contributions a cure all prescriptions

Praising the move as bold, celebrities and sports networks lined up to sing their praises

But does this really provide equality on the the field is a question this move raises

Sure it was was a touchstone moment created watching a point after a touchdown sail through the goal posts

But in reality women’s sports shouldn’t be raising their glasses in too many unbridled toasts

This appears to open the door for the elimination of women’s’ sports as we know it today

The original idea of Title IX will be steamrolled and become passe

It’s been years since jokes were heard about Russian women competing with their low hanging widget

Swearing to all that would listen in the Olympic world they were 100% female and were legit

But now all that is off the table as equality has to work both ways

Because women, women born men and men can now take their place on the women’s dais

A guy looking for a free ride can take his low handicap even lower by hitting from the red tees

He can charge through the field in women’s golf tournaments and win in a breeze

Pick a sport and all genders can compete for a roster spot on the same team

The idea that genders can compete only against other like genders might just be a vanishing dream

The door has been opened for true gender equality and women’s’ sports will be redefined

As it may have been two points for the Vanderbilt football team but a giant leap backwards for all of mankind

0

Here Chumps Have Some Crumbs

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone

When she got there the cupboard was bare as Nancy Pelosi hadn’t blessed the old lady from her throne

You see Congress had a shot at loading up a bill written on the backs of working Americans with their own pork

It was an opportunity to cram the “stimulus” bill with their vested interests, do some back slapping and pop the cork

Congress then can sound the trumpets and shout triumphantly about what they accomplished for the taxpayers

You’re not supposed to notice they have spent the last year doing their utmost to quash the citizens’ hopes and dreams as politicized naysayers

So they sent a bill to the floor that took a guy with a hand truck to deliver

The bill was 5,593 pages long with expected approval in a measly six hours to continue to sell Americans down the river

Both Senators and Representatives were expected to know what was in this pork package in a very short period of time

After watching clips on television from the various dim witted representatives for them to say they read the entire package would be a lying crime

And by the way The House did remember it’s electorate after locking them down for ten months with fabricated stories that the sky is falling

With a big $600 stimulus check to spend any way one wants on such luxuries as food, heat or lights but that is not what is really galling

The downtrodden are supposed to take solace in knowing the bill does provide millions in relief for Cambodia, Burma and Nepal

Sure it seem like a slap in the face, but to quote Pink Floyd “It’s Just Another Brick In The Wall”

And just maybe with 25 million earmarked for the Kennedy Center, Pelosi could be bestowed with Honors while the rest of America has cut expenses to the bone

As business owners are struggling to keep their doors open, food banks are empty and the elderly are dying alone

The free spending list goes on with such goodies as ten million awarded for Pakistani Gender Studies of all things

An easy way to solve this dilemma to to peek under the partung to see if the body part is stationary or if it swings

The money grab continues as the Smithsonian is to be tossed a billion and funds are set aside for the Dalai Lama

While Americans suffer both sides of the aisle are immovable in their demands all adding to the drama

There is no limit to the vile corruption, payola and collusion of an elected official

So when that official looks into the camera and states they’re turning Heaven and earth for you, remember that smile is painted on and completely artificial

0

The Masked Manger Scene

The rain splattered off the heads of the reindeer and the lighted plastic Santa
It was the time of the year when the faded decorations were pulled from storage as part of seasonal Americana

The Black Friday sales started in August as online shopping was recommended
Percentage discounts were offered for a minimum purchase and free shipping was extended

The Sears toy catalog wish book and layaway had become memories of yuletide past
The throngs of mall shoppers and walking through a mist of perfume in department stores were remembrances that were disappearing fast

Cards had become a well wishes greeting that could have easily been sent in June
And if one signs up for a charged monthly app the kids can watch a yearly Christmas cartoon

Christmas parties are frowned upon and are restricted to a gathering of ten
More than five cars in the driveway can create a knock on the door from the pandemic lawmen

Mistletoe kisses are thrown from across the room providing not too much air is moved
And eggnog is presented in single serve cups that are CDC approved

Finally the living Nativity scene has all the participants masked
Including the animals wearing modified muzzles in case anyone asked

The fact that joy is being squeezed out of the season by hysterical naysayers is a disgrace
But even the arbitrary restrictions vanish when one sees on Christmas morn the wonder in a toddler’s eyes and the delight on her face

6

Forgive Us Our Debts As We Voted Democratic

The line had formed in mid January, the numerous MBA’s were waiting for the government dole
They had signed up for student loans now due and cancellation of their obligation was their goal

The new President was being coerced into eliminating the loans with the wave of his new wand
Leaving the lending institutions to eat those funds owed and previous debtors feeling conned

“It’s great for the economy,” preached the newly empowered left leaning lawmakers
“That’ll be an extra 200 or 300 dollars a month and help turn those degree holders into movers and shakers”

They now will be able to trade in their old minivan and park that new BMW in their driveway
Just like winning the lottery their next 10 years of debt will be forgiven and the current balance they won’t have to repay

This debt cancellation will help the future elitists but do nothing to help the struggling working class
They’re the ones worried about working two jobs, the price of daycare and the next tank of gas

Who’s gonna cancel their debt? Perhaps congress can cancel the next ten years of monthly rent
That would put more bucks in their pocket rather than receiving a paycheck with half of it owed and already spent

It seems a good way to stifle an economy is to eliminate all obligation
Entrepreneurship and determination can easily be replaced by new legislation

The dreams of starting and running your your own business will vanish when sitting in front of the institution lender
Because that bank official understands that if things get tough that client only has to give up and surrender

The grit and hard work that formed small town America when Hershey bars were a nickel
Will go the way of the Pledge of Allegiance unless you happen to be saluting the hammer and sickle

1

Every Time A Bell Rings

The hot chocolate had been served and the Christmas carols were in full swing

The blabber mouth parrot had already stated for the fortieth time that “every time a bell rings an angel gets her wings”

A muffled knock on the door caused all the heads to look up simultaneously

“Ask for the password” said two of the party spontaneously

“Password?” asked the host shushing his guests with his ear against the door

“Clarence” came the whispered reply barely audible so the neighbors wouldn’t hear and the party be done for

“Were you followed?” asked the host peering through the blackout curtains to the empty street

“No” said the guest. “I backtracked to make sure I wasn’t followed. I was very discrete”

“I parked down the block and used a holly branch to cover my tracks in the snow”

“And then crawled along the fence so I wouldn’t be seen and no one would know”

“Every time the door bell rings we think we’re getting caught in a government sting,” said the parrot from his perch

Always fearing the worst the host glared at the bird paranoid this gathering would leave him in a lurch

The good hearted Bedford Falls policeman had been replaced by a tattooed social worker always in a bad mood

If caught with a gathering more than five large fines and community service were doled out with no arguing as you were positively screwed

Whatever happened to “Remember no man is a failure as long as he has friends”

It seems this phrase has been replaced by “A man can have friends as long as he pays the price for the rules he bends”

The party started up again in a more relaxed mood enjoying Uncle Billy quietly tickling the piano keys

Happy in the warmth and fellowship, savoring the carefully prepacked buffet and for once not worrying about the heavily politicized disease

The bird had been strangely quiet but the host was sure it wouldn’t last long

He didn’t realize that when he taught the parrot “the bell” slogan he would be so wrong

The laughter and smiles continued as all in the party were enjoying themselves

Relishing the glow from the punch and telling ribald stories about the elves on the shelves

When all at once the party groaned and then cheered as the parrot screeched from his swing

“Every time a bell rings, WHOA! WAIT! Who let the cat in?”

0

Get That Damn Turkey Outta Here

The noise from the barn yard continued as this swaggering bird was not going quietly into the night

He was fighting every request to concede and be cooked because that is his right

This bird had a hard few years, abused by a large drove before finally being cornered and plucked

His many attempts at barnyard growth were pushed aside by swine whose sole purpose was to obstruct

The hogs only concerned themselves with being first at the trough

“No one else mattered except us elite pigs,” they would scoff

“This turkey wandered into our private feed lot and tried to make life easier for the working class animals”

Once proud to pull their weight the livestock had been reduced to peering through the fence panels

This porcine group had no use for this self proclaimed cock of the walk

”He’s a buffoon, not one of us,” But the livestock followed and that caused a shock

Old videos were circulated about this bird chasing other hens

“His constant crowing is disturbing and from our yard we must cleanse”

“He’s a deplorable and a misogynist.” Claimed one of the loudest and still bitter sow

Failing to realize that the rest of the farm knew she should have hoed her own row

“He’s xenophobic,” called the elitists peering from the loft filled with sweet green hay

The bird was only saying when rats are allowed to invade the barn there aren’t enough enforcement cats to keep them at bay

Now using the current spread of hoof and mouth disease the elite swine blamed it all on this bombastic bird

Hiding behind the murky updates from Snow White and the dwarf they forced their propaganda on the herd

So it’s come to this, the turkey had lost his fight and was to be served on a platter

The proud barnyard livestock will once again be tossed scraps while the big pigs only get fatter

0

Battleground States: The Must Have Christmas Board Game

Feeling left out that you didn’t get to participate by voting multiple times in in a Battleground State?

Think about how much better you’ll feel when under the tree is the brand new board game that gives you the opportunity for an election system to desecrate

This game is designed to give the players the thrilling feeling of rigging an election

The directions are easy, anyone can play and cheating is encouraged as there will be no neutral inspection

Any number of players can play and each is dealt ten illegal ballots and one software glitch

Also a stack of cards are placed upside down in the center of the board to help the chosen candidate’s election go without a hitch

These cards are to be drawn every time the opposing candidate’s numbers begin to surge

For instance one card gives the media favored candidate the right for an opposition ballot purge

Another card changes the long standing rule when mail in ballots may be received

This is called a super card that virtually guarantees victory as the player drawing this can ignore state legislatures and set his own rules leaving the opposition feeling deceived

Other cards include poll workers being able to trash ballots, postal workers authorized to back date ballots and of course a list of citizens long since dead

Imagine the joy on the face of your great great great grandfather when into the ballot box his name is fed

Oh yes, the fun goes on non-stop until someone draws the card that says the news media can call a winner

Also included is a template so you can produce as many ballots as needed on your own printer

So why miss out on the fun? Put this game on your Christmas list

Because now it’s only a matter of time before Christmas will be ordered to cease and desist.

0

Arizona Called Early? Blame It On Homer

A little to the right, uh uh, move the foil, hold it right there, that’s good
It was time for The Simpsons and the rabbit ears needed adjusting to receive the best picture you could

A few years ago Fox Network was a second tier channel but did feature a couple of lovable losers Homer and Al Bundy
Viewers related to to these two stumbling through life like everyday was a Monday

But the Fox executives wanted more, they realized with the right programs they could have a big time organization
In order to pull in large blocs of viewers showing sports was their rationalization

It was then Fox threw tons of money to buy the rights to NFL broadcasts complete with fancy graphics and bantering talking heads
Also jumping on baseball and car racing and for another group of lovable losers, advising point spreads

Realizing the bar didn’t need to be set too high to attract American viewers, Fox just needed to fill a void
Looking around the executives realized that conservatives were shut out of all newscasts they had previously enjoyed

Fox News was created to attract the traditional watcher and fill in that vacant time slot
And soon disillusioned viewers from other networks were tuning in and Fox had another jackpot

In this progressive world the conservative perspective will not last long. The broadcasters might sing one song but behind the scenes another is being sung
The filthy rich owner’s newly woke children now can isolate from the working class and control conservatives from the top rung

So when Fox News calls Arizona early in the evening, very simply one can blame Homer
Because calling Fox network a conservative channel would be a misnomer

It should then come as no surprise during Fox’s mindless hit show The Masked Singer even though it’s not your cup of tea
‘When the person wearing the giant fish head is revealed it might just be Chairman Xi.

0

Stink Bugs In Love

picromerus_bidens

Pfssst, the cloud of abdominal discharge filled the air with the familiar stench

A new unsubstantiated rumor was afloat so dizzy reporters cued the cameras and held microphones in a tight fisted clench

The haze of gas enveloped all and consumed these reporters with eager anticipation

This is it! With no sources named as it matters not, we can end 3½ years of frustration

The love pheromones had their antennae frantically waving with the idea of a six o’clock news scoop

We can ruin the conservatives with this new report both on the news and social media with one fell swoop

The noxious odor grew stronger as the tech giants joined in the fray

Another chance to mislead the gullible public they thought while sucking in another lung full of spray

The stink bugs spreading their gas caused their congregation to grow at an astounding rate

Right or wrong this is our story and we’ll report it 24/7 and leave it to them to negate

The bugs got so excited they began to touch antennas together in a show of unity

This action caused all their abdomens to vibrate as they couldn’t pass on the opportunity

Soon a stink bug love fest broke out with all the insects eager players

Only stopping to catch their breath they simultaneously exclaimed, “that ought to fix you deplorable taxpayers”

“We’ve had an impeachment attempt, Russian collusion and a Supreme Court nomination all blow up in our face”

“But this new cloud of gas ought to put us back in charge and leading the race”

So as the boundary between the bug orgy and commonsense widens

One can see familiar faces at the bottom of the throbbing pile, a species scientifically known as Picromerus bidens

picromerus_bidens

picromerus_bidens

12

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

As the Biden campaign train continues to run in tiny circles in his basement

The candidate continues to blow smoke about being Trump’s replacement

With his curious strategy one must listen quick when he pokes his head out of his prairie dog hole

American people would like your answer on an occasional question like what are you going to do about coal

But wait, it seems that the answer given has to do with the audience of six he is speaking too

In reality the only energy he will consider after doing away with the oil industry is energy a newly formed manufacturing group can renew

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

Now you’re blaming the spread of co-vid on the President while this virus continues to ravage planet Earth

And hiding behind experts that are learning on the run you play that card for all it’s worth

So if in charge, how are you going to hold the Chinese accountable for the devastation

Apparently we are going to tell them that they’ve been bad actors and watch them quiver with fright over that condemnation

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

You say you’re a friend of minorities but let’s take a look at how you really feel

You state you’re sorry for your crime bill that was way over the top for petty crimes that ruined thousands of lives behind bars of steel

But are you truly sorry as you peer down from your government perch

To find the real man behind his bluster one doesn’t have to do much of a Google search

The minorities your party feels entitled too apparently are super predators and live in a racial jungle

Phrases like ”you ain’t black,” or bring in social workers to show families how to raise their kids add to this media suppressed bungle

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

Finally you’ll need to pull your head back to safety when the New Green Deal’s bill comes due and reality sets in

You’ve been drooling over huge tax hikes for the rich and getting your hands on Social Security thinking that’s a win

The fact is the New Green Deal is gonna cost Americans way more than they are willing to pay

Unfortunately because they’re being led down the Yellow Biden Road with blinders on they’re going to find out the hard way

So Say it ain’t so Joe continue to smile at the camera and lie your head off

And Americans can feel your programs much like at the doc’s as he lubes his finger and tells you to turn your head and cough

0

Judge 54 Where Are You?

The cases to be reviewed were on the desk as Chief Roberts attempted to call the Supreme Court to order

On the docket for this session were arguments concerning putting peoples’ wealth on hold and do we really need a border

The courtroom appeared to be standing room only but a closer look revealed the space was filled with newly designated court appointees


For the court findings to always rule in leftist favor the newly elected President added an additional forty eight radical justices so the majority always agrees

Currently the arguments could not commence as two of the new justices could not be found

It seems two judges from the great states of Puerto Rico and Washington DC were at the local pot dispensary to buy a pound

With marijuana now legal in all 52 states they felt their thought process to rule on cases would be greatly expanded while high

And since pot dispensaries were on every street corner they thought while on tax payers time they could lay in a supply

While waiting for the court to resume Chief Roberts surveyed the T-shirt clad justices all with their causes emblazoned across their chest

The traditional robes had been cast aside as the new radicals chose to be casually dressed

A quick glance around the room showed demands for the new green deal, planned Parenthood, The Paris Accord, and defunding the police

All anxious, screaming support and obscenities about their pet causes as the squeaky wheel gets the grease

His eyes suddenly stopped on the Abolish The Electoral College t-shirt, as he couldn’t remember Hillary being appointed without his knowledge

But there she was screeching she coulda shoulda have been the first pants suit wearing woman in charge if it wasn’t for that damn Electoral College

With complete disdain for the American citizens the democrats had formed a court of extremists to rule in favor of their leftist referenda

With no thought to American business or taxpayer as to how to pay for their progressive agenda

To the shallow minded democrats the talk of a few trillions more rolls easily off the their tongues while making hard working people shudder to think

It’s easy they say and no big deal as we’ll just print more money ’cause we have an unlimited supply of ink

2

We Won’t Raise Taxes @ $5/gal

Remember when Obama ruled and gas at the pump on a good day was $4/gal.

The eagle had flown for the oil sheiks with America grasped in it’s talon

Their keffyeh’d heads and robed figures would get together every couple of months to fix the oil output

“We must keep the price inflated for our gains and keep America under our foot.”

How quickly we forget constantly calculating mileage in our heads ’cause a trip to Grandma’s was seventy five bucks

And groceries were up 30% as a fuel surcharge was added for product delivered by trucks

Airlines canceled flights, propane tanks had minimum delivery requirements as customers couldn’t afford a full tank and homes were warmed with space heaters

Those nightmare days could return sooner then later should the votes fall in favor of the liars and cheaters

Should the Biden/ Harris ticket win say goodbye to to fossil fuel and coal burning plants

Fracking and it’s associated jobs will disappear in the first year as Joe slowly shuffles into the shadows because we all know Kamala wears the pants

However watching Senator Harris debate Vice President Pence was disturbing to say the least

Her leadership skills need to be questioned as she answered nothing and could only regurgitate tired facts as her sophomoric eye rolling increased

The Democratic party is intent on slamming their super crazy high priced schemes down everyone’s throats forgetting that they might soon be on the world stage

The foreign super powers aren’t going to be impressed with coddling to your anemic democratic pals as the partisan weaknesses will be easy to gauge

Because quite frankly they’ll have no use for the annoying giggle and trying to look smug

As Xi, Putin and Kim Jon-un will take turns to squash her like a bug

So Americans keep your Gas Buddy app handy as you’ll be looking for the best deal

As in the not too distant future $5/gal may be quite the steal

0

I Post Thar4 I R

IMG_3333

Much has changed since the days of the philosophers studied in school

Students and crowds used to gather when these men spoke as they were no one’s fool

Today with social media anyone with a phone or a keyboard can hammer out a thought and become a new age sage

One’s inner musings in four misspelled sentences can become a proclamation on their Facebook page

Let’s take a look at look at a couple of these insightful pundits and see how their thoughts might be reflected in today’s society

Bear in mind the imagined posts on the Facebook page will be dripping with democratic piety

Plato: “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”

Today’s scholar: This virus is all the orange man’s fault and has nothing to do with Beijing

Descartes: “A state is better governed which has few laws and those laws strictly over served”

Today’s scholar: The way I see it, Nancy’s got arrows in her quiver and the law of the Constitution don’t need to be preserved

Plato: “Democracy passes into despotism.” That warning came from long ago

Today’s scholar: Hopefully Biden will win and we can be safe with forced lock downs, mask mandates and end Trump’s dog and pony show

Descartes: “Except our own thoughts, there’s nothing absolutely in our power”

Today’s scholar: Obama was a great president who associated with the common man and would never live in an ivory tower

Plato: “The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men”

Today’s scholar: Biden’s a good guy, he’ll pass the green deal, take the guns and support socialism. Can I get an amen?

Descartes: “I think, therefore I am.” This proves one might have more thought power than something slimy washed up on shore

However in some cases an amoeba might argue. Today’s scholar: I post thar4 I R.

0

BLM-Who’s It Really Helping

MEXICO-HONDURAS-US-MIGRATION-AFP PICTURES OF THE YEAR 2018
AFP Picture of the year

The megaphones are loud and the chanting relentless, people are injured and any effort to contain the violence is cause for a counterattack

Feeling cheated in life because of failures both perceived and real and it’s all the fault of America because the skin color is black

America is a pathetic place to live as skin color is the sole determinant of your lot in life

The high school diploma opens only entry level jobs, the pay can’t get you ahead and the media accelerates your strife

The new left is furious, three decades of socialist public education has reached the boiling stage

The democratic puppet masters are delighted as any opinion stated otherwise is a cause to enrage

The fanatical socialist democratic leaders have known for centuries to change the thought process it must be taught at a young age

Get them while they’re young and vulnerable as their open minds are easy to engage

Brainwashing was used by Hitler, currently used by Kim Jong-Un and our country’s socialist school teachers to educate our youth

America is a place to hate, freedom is to be controlled by the government, ambition is frowned upon and that’s the truth

It took years but the population as a whole is an election away from being in their control

Pull the cops off the streets, send the public behind barricaded doors and let mobs patrol

The question is in the end will this movement cause any group to advance

Or perhaps it’s an organized effort by the democrats to leave nothing to chance

Roads are blocked, businesses burned, monuments ripped down and people parade

When the harsh reality to this mob rule demonstration is the participants are being played

Has this movement improved the impoverished or quelled the hunger in a small child

Blame it on the opposition, their idea of working for a living, tolerance of others and family life is to be reviled

Will this idea of new American government dependency be embraced

Or will the people in the movement wind up being further displaced

Will the human resource person in trying to manage diversity scrutinize the black job candidate

If employed would this person fit in, be a team player and pull her weight

Or would there exist a sense of chip on the shoulder entitlement based on the color of her skin

Feasibly it would be easier to go with the Latino candidate’s appreciation of employment and that would be a win win.

6

Never Buy A Pig In A Poke

pigpoke

Approximately 500 years ago the English serfs had an expression

That one shouldn’t buy an item sight unseen before taking possession

The saying goes “I will never bye a pyg in the poke

Thers many a foule pyg in a feyere clocke”

Pronounce the phrase phonetically and you’ll get the drift

The Olde English knew without first inspecting, one can be given a short shrift

Currently a candidate running for President voices his campaign speeches while hiding in his poke

He will not take even softball questions from his fawning media as his handlers feel he will choke

The man has been in office 47 years but cannot tell an audience what he achieved

Sir Walter Scott aptly stated, “What a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive.”

The candidate can only list accomplishments made when peeking from behind Obama’s skirt

Without the use of multiple teleprompters, trying to sound Presidential apparently might cause the brain to over exert

So while the basement dweller hollers from his subterranean window how his programs would benefit the US population

Both Putin and Xi if possible would cast a democratic ballot as there would be no stopping world domination

The pig in the poke campaign should be a sign of the complete democratic collapse

Just don’t bother the candidate between one and two as he insists on his naps

0

The KKK Rides Again

Another day another riot with more destruction, burning and looting

Hooded figures venting their primal convictions on innocent residents there is no disputing

Joined by a multitude of malcontents who revel in lawlessness but don’t own a single belief

Using a protest to loot and destroy and knowing current laws won’t label them as a thief

But is their idea of mob rule any different than the KKK’s robe wearing intimidation

Riding through the night bearing torches, ropes and whips terrorizing the targeted population

Now armed with bricks, fireworks and frozen bottles they wade into the fray

Adding to the medias’ delight as nightly newscasts watch society’s decay

Narrow minded bigoted zealots feeling safety in numbers and too cowardly to show their face

      Empowered by democratic rule, hiding behind social causes and law enforcement’s fall from grace

      Terrorizing innocent people has been a tactic used by bullies for years

      Reveling in the fact that a person’s hard work and stature has been reduced to pain and tears

      Enforcing a message to the unarmed and peaceful citizens that they set the rules

      Violence, destruction, and looting are all part of their unwarranted tools

      Whether it’s burning a cross in 1962 or defacing a church in 2020 it’s a symbol of injudicious power

      While the recipients of this criminal activity are expected to yield and cower

      What is criminal and what is not is now a floating set of ideals

      Destruction is acceptable, violence condoned and a looter steals

      Prosecutors know who these thuggish goons are (and were) and have long turned their backs

      Criminality doesn’t apply when you favor their goals and close your eyes to their attacks

      The days of the wild west are rapidly approaching and there ain’t no Wyatt Earp in sight

      Just weak kneed mayors and governors hiding behind their guarded walls while fires light the night

      2

      As Seen On TV

      After four nights of Trump bashing, bad jokes and spurned angry women, we have a special offer

      We’re giving the voters an opportunity for a true keepsake and an excuse to fill our coffer

      But wait as a special offer mail your vote now and we’ll send you two

      That’s right, not one but two socialist dolls as we turn America blue

      The pair comes with a bendable Biden doll that has no backbone, a truly malleable figure

      The democratic house, antifa and BLM are ready for a new America they will configure

      A puppet for the democratic goals of molding America into a nation of government dependent wimps

      Already advising he will institute a nationwide mask mandate and this is only a glimpse

      Capitalism, gas and oil and guns will go by the wayside as unfettered illegal immigration crashes all healthcare systems

      Hardworking Americans will watch their dreams and savings vanish only to wind up as vacant eyed socialist victims

      Heavy taxation, lawlessness, and immigration caravans will be the order of the day

      While both Russia and China will be rubbing their hands with glee over their naive prey

      Order now and we’ll include the former presidential candidate Kamala doll handpicked just for you.

      A woman of color, half black, half Asian and married to a white guy. A democrat’s dream come true

      Though she ripped Biden to shreds in the first debate, she succumbed to others’ scrutiny and dropped from the race

      Not showing leadership principles she chose to cut and run from facts rather than lose face

      This offer won’t last long so just add separate shipping and handling to receive this special TV deal

      Included will be six ballots with dead peoples’ names to mail in so this election won’t be the Electoral College’s to steal

      0

      Tik Tok America is on the Clock

      It seems the video app Tik Tok has come under fire due to a security concern

      As Communist China has access to all information gathered by Chinese owned apps at every turn

      By using this fun little app the user is supplying email addresses and unknowingly contacts, IP addresses and current location

      So while your children lip synch through their clever dance routine China continues with America’s predation

      Information is power and American people offer their souls daily like a digital flag unfurled

      Creating a vacuum being sucked up by a voracious enemy in what will become the United States’ netherworld

      The American people need to remember the world wide plague was Chinese manufactured

      What is the purpose of this virus? To leave the world economy fractured?

      Or was it to see the American people elect a milquetoast leader they could manipulate

      The new leader would have no vision and accept trade agreements that China would stipulate

      Blame the current administration for the virus credited for every death short of traffic mishaps

      And urge the left to resist all efforts as America tries to pull itself up by it’s bootstraps

      China has always seemed willing to sacrifice a few citizens for world domination

      And controlling the world through sickness could all be part of the communist narration

      So watch the cute Tik Tok videos and feel free to offer up your personal information

      Because for what is offered an unseen enemy while singing into a hairbrush there is no vaccination

      0

      Sometimes I Feel Like my Butt Is Hanging Over the Pool At Gatorland

      IMG_3136 (2)

      For those that don’t know Gatorland is an old school Florida attraction

      The main show involves a man leaning over a pool of hungry gators holding a chicken having faith in his reaction

      The alligators come about five feet out of the water to snap up the whole fryer

      The man on the platform is held in place by a thick leather strap should a body part the jaws acquire

      Chomp

      In today’s uncertain times I feel like it’s my butt hanging over the lagoon

      Venture out for any purpose and the cancel culture is there to rip you apart and leave body parts strewn

      Join the movement, protest and destruct while hiding behind Black Lives Matter

      Or be labeled a white supremacist and the movement serves your head on a platter

      You’re be required to love all as you would kinfolk

      Anything different, mayhem and violence you’ll provoke

      It’s of little consequence the person you’re to love is a callous lawbreaker

      Unable to hold an entry level job, contributing nothing, paying no taxes, only a welfare taker

      The elected pearl clutchers caved into the demands of the angry masses

      They shouldn’t have been surprised by crowd size as it gave the unskilled a reason to get off their asses

      The everyday workers will bear the brunt of the demands in huge tax increases

      They’ve been grinding it out for thirty years now sadly watching as their golden years savings potential decreases

      Chomp Chomp

      Meanwhile the news media is having a field day with the pandemic updates

      Warnings scroll across the screen as new hot spots spread across the states

      The dubious expert first advises to not worry about wearing a mask

      Two weeks later he’s changed his tune wear one now. So why now? You’re not allowed to ask

      They’re the authority, their invented title and pompous attitude says so

      And since the public are gullible sheep and unable to think they’ll talk real slow

      Keeping a low profile is the order of the day

      Shop quietly, tend to medical needs then stay at home out of harm’s way

      With the mostly vacant streets the protesters are now free to congregate and make their stand

      Waiting for the media’s arrival to mug for the cameras and list their demands

      It’s a vicious circle to say the least creating a perfect storm

      As one winds up feeling like he’s dangled over the water by the man on the platform

      Chomp Chomp Chomp

      0

      Anyone Can Run

      IMG_3128 (2)

      It’s been another four years and time for a general election

      And a genuine potpourri of candidates lined up to garner voters’ affection

      Back in the day a candidate was groomed for office by his career

      Trained in all aspects of the job such as the politician’s wolfish smile and to pad pockets of an electioneer

      Though the same tired faces surface every four years

      A new face will pop up to announce his candidacy egged on by his adoring peers

      So let’s take a look at candidates both past and present to see who had their day in the sun

      Showing the world the Presidency is an open election and anyone can run

      First up is Bernie Sanders a popular socialist but kicked to the curb by his own party

      The Democrats teamed up to make sure Hillary got the nod and to Bernie were not sorry

      Hillary was their choice thought unbeatable until she opened her mouth

      Her opinion on Benghazi and deplorable voters caused her campaign to head south

      Then came Donald J., P.T. Barnum only wished he could equal Trump’s showman ability

      Creating four years of obsessive crazed media and Democratic hostility

      Fast forward four years and the Democrats have tapped basement dweller Joe Biden to lead the way

      Desperately trying to keep Sleepy Joe hidden before another unscripted gaffe leads to voter dismay

      This guy told a black radio audience that if you struggle to choose then “you ain’t black enough”

      Plus in past years a record player and a social worker are needed to raise black kids leaving families in a huff

      Bernie Sanders again tried a run but the Democrats had him find his place back on the curb

      And essentially place a sign around his neck reading Do Not Disturb

      This election’s newcomer is is rap star and record producer Kanye West

      Trying to follow in Trump’s footsteps he plans on stealing votes from both parties to win the contest

      Maybe I can help with a campaign slogan by using lyrics from his records I have browsed

      Perhaps a jingle like “Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused”

      Or “Uh baby you’re makin’ it harder, better, faster, stronger” might be one to not sneeze at

      But I figure that might be difficult to fit on a hat

      2

      Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I Only Knew You As Good

      Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I only knew you as good
      Your label meant quality only now misunderstood

      Those easily offended decided your image needed to be removed
      A corporate decision to ingratiate your product in the black community and race relations are improved

      Your icon a while back by a board room decision had been modernized
      Your now dark skinned June Cleaver depiction again needs changing as self righteous indignation has the nation paralyzed

      So we’ll package your superior quality and once proud product under a different label
      Just so we can serve the same ingredients on the breakfast table

      So when the new sterile packaging is complete
      Your next step will be to take care of the chef on Cream of Wheat

      And in the end when the expense of repackaging and distribution it will require
      The tremendous cost will be passed on to the cost conscious food buyer

      It won’t stop here product names will continually change lest a group be offended
      Spineless corporations will inevitability bow to vocal groups as reality is suspended

      Gone is Mia, the Land of Lakes maiden. “She was representing sex trafficking,” the offended would boast
      That’s exactly what I thought of as I spread that delicious goodness on my toast

      Next in line is that summer treat Eskimo Pie
      Another example of good intentions gone awry

      Most are not really sure how an ice cream on a stick can be that defamatory
      However in certain circles the term Eskimo refers to raw meat eaters and that is considered inflammatory

      And so it goes, pick a product and someone will be upset
      Familiar product names will change over night due to some group’s threat

      After brand names, will the outspoken groups go after produce?
      There will be no stopping now, all will change, it’s easy to deduce

      Grocers will be cautious of profiling not wanting to imply the black race could be associated with the term watermelon
      So be prepared for the produce aisles to be advertising specials on aqua fruit before there’s a rebellion

      0

      So Now What?

       

      A black man died on camera for the world to see
      The brutal cop didn’t reach into his utility belt for a can of mercy

      Using his badge for all the life and death authority he needed
      He kneeled while three other heartless statues stood by as Mr. Floyd pleaded

      The protesters assembled rapidly and grew enormous in dimension
      They peacefully marched, waved signs and chanted loudly to show dissension

      The numbers swelled in Minneapolis and many cities across the nation
      Both protesters and law enforcement massed to hear the frustration as allowed by the Constitution

      The media was in a frenzy, perhaps they could catch a violent act on memory card
      Just maybe an enforcement person protecting property might push a protester whether by a cop or national guard

      The delirious rush to film would be eye-opening by all the camera crews
      Certainly a shove, a punch, or a tear gas canister would be the lead for the 6 o’clock news

      Mayors and governors alike wrung their hands while praising the marchers simultaneously
      Then a store front was caved in, a cop car burned and looting broke out spontaneously

      Entire city blocks were torched while mayors ordered their troops to stand down
      Protesting injustice now became a looting free for all as all businesses were fair game in the area’s uptown

      The images burned into America’s minds were the mobs pouring out of stores with stolen brake pads and bottles of booze
      Not because of injustice or frustration but because it’s lawless behavior they choose

      So now there’s a movement to defund police forces because of poorly trained bigoted dunderheads
      Piss poor biased cops and anarchic mobs are what true citizens and America dreads

      Unfortunately for the work of sincere people wanting change, the violent perceptions remain
      The objective of one group of people now has to combat the media footage seared into the country’s brain

      1

      Same Song Stranger Times

      IMG_1109

      Though these songs recorded years ago have withstood the test of time

      A pandemic of epic proportion can change the meaning of the title on a dime

      These songs weren’t written with a global virus in mind

      But the title and today’s current conditions can now become entwined

      When Ol’ Blue Eyes sang about “Strangers In The Night”

      He wasn’t singing about masked neighbors keeping their distance on a sidewalk to be polite

      And George The Possum Jones’ country hit “All My Friends Are Strangers”

      He wasn’t advising that human contact could be a danger

      Social distancing with Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton has come into play

      ”Distant Strangers” is now sound advice to not become virus prey

      Social media is helpful in this abruptly perilous time

      Barbara Lewis’ “Hello Stranger” is a greeting to combat any closeness crime

      “Company Of Strangers” by Bad Company could be appropriate for the left coast

      As California released prisoners to roam the streets looking for someone to be their host

      Most of the American public can agree on “Strangers In A Strange Land” by Leon Russell

      As the streets are empty, restaurants closed and no sound of city noise and bustle

      Finally Billy Joel released The Stranger his critically acclaimed record

      Because we Americans are suddenly strangers the album title strikes a dismal chord

      Also included in the disc is the sadly prophetic track “Only The Good Die Young”

      Unfortunately in today’s world this could become a funeral dirge by the way it’s sung

      0

      Let’s Party We Ain’t Scared. If We Get It, We Get It

      He contracted the virus in the biology lab from a graduate assistant who had traveled abroad
      He’d heard the news but in his ignorance the doomsayers with their catastrophic numbers just seemed flawed

      At the semester’s end he gathered up four friends and headed for the Florida beaches for sun and fun
      Other friends last year bragged about drinking fourteen cases of beer so they were out to prove they can’t be out done

      His asymptomatic self now on the road for 1000 miles in close quarters with his friends
      Drinking beer and sharing doobies at the end of finals is what his youthful wild side recommends

      He stopped for gas while contaminating the pump handle and the candy rack from the Snickers bar he stuffed under his shirt
      Saving more money for beer and making up time to catch the Saturday night beach concert

      Arriving in Clearwater in early afternoon it was time to load up on beverages and hit the beach
      The virus is spreading like wildfire but to him it’s party time and no time to listen to the newscasters preach

      The girls were plentiful and many were willing to celebrate and share a good time
      Besides everyone was there on their own free will and looking for fun, and that is not a crime

      The gloved housekeeping staff were tasked with changing bed linens and towels
      Trying not to touch their face while cleaning the sink and toilets after three days of drinking, bad eating and loose bowels

      The five days were up before he knew it as the city denied access to the sand
      So on the road again with a rolling stomach but satisfied, smug and tanned

      Making a pit stop at a drug store and sorting through the antacids to quell that nauseous feeling
      His friends demanded the break after eating two for a dollar roller grill hot dogs as they found his breath, burps and flatulence quite unappealing

      Returning home he was forced to spend time with his family and grandparents since his college was closed
      He wasn’t recovering from his trip that fast, feeling feverish, coughing and his opinion it was a sinus infection was misdiagnosed

      He had just made a two thousand mile round trip with a contagious disease he had helped transmit
      But it was a party and he wasn’t scared we get it, we all get it

      2

      Please Listen Carefully as our Menu has Changed


      I’m calling my doctor as these coronavirus alerts have become relentless. Blaring 24/7 on all my devices has left me in a fog
      The auto message picks up immediately stating “Thank you for contacting Celestial Behavioral Health and the office of Dr. P.W. Fozziwog”

      “If this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911 before becoming completely deranged
      For all others please listen carefully as our menu has changed”

      “Press one if you have become obsessed with rationing the squirts of sanitizer for your hands”
      Friends and family are becoming concerned about your ever increasing posted list of demands

      “Press two if you run from your children when they return from school”
      To them having to strip in the garage while you’re ordering them to check their temperature just seems cruel

      “Press three if you have dreams about being trapped under your collapsed mountain of hoarded toilet paper”
      You wake up in a cold sweat with visions of the hazmat suited coroner prying you up with a paint scraper

      “Press four if your parents have blocked their entryway with granny’s old English buffet”
      When you unsuccessfully tried to leave the kids with them for a weekend stay

      “Press five if due to sports withdrawal you were escorted from the local Putt Putt for starting a brawl”
      By yelling obscenities about missed putts at the man with the blue ball

      “Press six if you need the menu retold
      Or stay on the line so a real person will put you on hold”

      0

      The Old Man Democrat Rap

      IMG_1076

      Hello Folks and welcome to the first democratic rap off

      But safety first people use elbow bumps to greet and masks if you cough

      Our contestants tonight are Lil Havana Bernie and Wooden Nickels Joe

      We think by the time this evening is through you’ll be treated to quite the show

      By using the best of three coin toss to make sure Wooden Nickels went last Lil Havana will go first

      And since Donna Brazile is not backstage this rap is completely unrehearsed

      We would ask the audience to refrain from heckling and may the best rapper win

      So now with no further delay Lil Havana you may begin

      Skritcha skritcha skritcha

      “Yo peeps listen here I be here again

      We gonna take down CEO’s and rich oilmen

      And when those rich whiteys are gone

      You gonna know which side of da toast da butter be on

      Your healthcare and college be free and we be tearing down da wall

      Socialism is king and capitalism will fall

      All will be treated alike citizens or not

      Everyone gonna get three squares and a cot

      Castro da man made Kooba a better place

      By following my hero we can shove our govment in Trump’s fat face

      So dat’s my rap, Reverend Jackson is on my side to capcha his brothas’ vote

      And come November we can all stand with raised fists and gloat

      So come out and vote for me to give me da inside track

      I mean this as I be serious as a heart attack”

      Boom cha cha Boom cha cha

      “My name is Biden and I be running for prez in a big way

      I can’t member nuttin or so dey say

      I be like one of the Royal family with da ol lady Queen

      I feel like Prince Charles and should be making the scene

      Me and Brotha Obama once be tight

      And if he’d endorse me the future be bright

      If he don’t I be draggin out da heavy artillery

      I be naming my running mate as Hilary

      In no time flat she be committing me to da rubber room

      So her delayed Presidency she can resume

      We gonna take your guns but don’t be alarmed

      Our new gangsta immigrants will see no one’s harmed

      Also we be gonna oh crap I forgot this verse

      I can’t remember like I usta and my thoughts go from bad to worse

      So instead of rapping I be striking a pose and do a dab

      And I’ll fondle my crotch if someone be telling which side of my Depends to grab

      I grabbed the wrong side in Cleveland

      And the scramble for the exits got out of hand

      So vote for me in November as I be da man to beat

      And in November we can hand those Democ…er Republicans a defeat”

      2

      Lonely Dog TV

      The things I do to get a treat, oh the humanity
      I’m not quite sure if it’s love ’cause it borders on insanity

      I’m supposed to roll over and sit up and beg for a chemical tasty treat
      If you really love me, ditch anything packed in cardboard or paper and give me meat

      Now I’m supposed to be a really sweet boy and be grateful for this insipid TV channel
      Not to mention this tight fitting very hot stupid looking sweater made of flannel

      If you really want me to to be your loyal companion and look at you with adoration
      Then coughing up the bucks for the doggie channel bundle would be my recommendation

      This one channel of a bunch of stoned looking boomer dogs and 24/7 relaxing mood music gives me the squirts
      So if you want to save money on the expensive puppy pads give me the channel bundle featuring dogs of action, current doggie headlines and mean spirited cat perverts

      The bundle includes this elevator music channel, a dog reality channel, a news channel and scripted shows all in HD.
      There’s also a dog accessory channel and if I could read a credit card and work a telephone I could go on a serious spending spree

      On the reality channel of PLF(Puppy Love Forever) I can watch The Stud Bachelor
      Where one lucky dude gets to date all the bitches while trying to avoid the dog catcher

      Or I can watch FGT (Fido’s Got Talent) when after a heartbreakingly sad story about growing up a mongrel on the streets, the contestant wows the overwrought judges with unique tricks
      And even if the show is bad, it beats picking ticks and fetching sticks

      The scripted channel shows include This Is Our Litter about sibling puppies of two Golden Retrievers and one Doberman Pinscher
      The Doberman the obvious smart pup helped his overweight sister out of many jams but getting her out of the hula hoop stuck around her waist was the season clincher

      Also on is the long running NCIS (National Canine Investigative Squad) the show that never goes off the air despite killing off most of the cats in the area
      Though it seems to be the same show week after week it does quell a dog’s fear of stopping the cat terror organization hysteria

      Finally to stay abreast of breaking news there is the HDHN (Hound Dog Headline News) delivered with sincerity by a shapely Afghan Hound with long blonde tresses.
      Though the news doesn’t have to be accurate, the fact she looks good wearing only a flea collar is what impresses

      So add that extra twenty five to your already outrageous satellite bill and I won’t use the sofa as a chew toy
      And anything else in the ten hours you’re gone I can destroy

      2

      Top Secret Documents Revealed

      IMG_1038Recently during a sweeping of the House Floor, the cleaning staff uncovered some top secret documents

      These apparently came from a drunken democrat passed out at his desk after losing the impeachment arguments

      He was found in a fetal position producing only moans and spit bubbles while covered with what looked like a torn up speech

      He thought a last gasp vote might remove that trespassing oaf from office but the final tally proved out of reach

      But as he was rolled over these forms were trapped between his briefcase and his flask

      It seems as a member of a secret voter registration committee he had been assigned a task

      Found in a pool of sweat were documents to relocate individuals claiming refugee status

      Promised was a better life, healthcare and unemployment benefits all issued gratis

      There was also a document to be signed that read “antes de obtener todas las cosas gratis usted debe registrarse para ser un demócrata”

      Also included was a temporary work visa and a plane ticket to Imlay, Nevada

      Roughly translated the statement says, “before you get all the free stuff you must sign up to be a democrat.

      This figures a way to eliminate that vile Electoral College and let the republican party be a political doormat

      The map shows distribution points for individuals claiming refugee status like product leaving a packer

      All are sent to battleground states and followed on phones and computers by the democrat developed app tracker

      Ensuring in a short time the red states now in majority will turn blue

      And the progressive objectives of government dependence will be the rule and the dream of apple pie and American flag will be through

      0

      Asian Imports = Possible Risky Business

      With all the talk of trade imports and exports it might be time to look at what is imported from Asia
      Most imports are welcomed to improve quality of life, yet some offer only invasive, sickening and frustrating fantasia

      The kudzu vine was imported and praised for it’s fast growth, brought in during the Great Depression it was thought to be a cheap savior for erosion control
      That was before the vine swallowed the countryside, phone poles and rumored to have eaten a slow moving deputy sheriff on patrol

      Asia wants all consumers to believe they export high tech electronics such as TVs computers and phones to be bought
      But just don’t drive your Daewoo to a car dealer expecting a good trade in value for something else on the lot

      If someone couldn’t get a good deal on their gently used car then they could surf to work on their hover board in their business attire
      Just make sure your route to work passes a fire department as your pants would probably be on fire.

      A while back it was all the rage to have an alternate exotic pet like a big Asian snake
      So people rushed to buy and the pet distributors brought in hundreds and when the snakes got too big for the aquarium they were thrown in the lake

      Unfortunately the snakes continued to grow, had no natural enemies and ate everything that moved
      Since they camouflage well and reproduce rapidly, specialists are now hired to go into the swamp to have them removed

      Allegedly the corona virus currently spreading world wide like wildfire was incubated by eating bat soup
      Apparently the kitchen cooks in an effort to serve food fresh didn’t completely cook the poop

      So it was ingested to the intestine where opportunities for virus growth dwell
      And suddenly, sadly the phrase was heard. “Holy bubbling soup cauldron Batman, I’m not feeling so well.”

      0

      Meghan’s Tupperware Party

      IMG_1025

      Welcome to my house, my name is Meghan and I’m new to this neighborhood

      I thought this Tupperware party might be a good way to meet everyone like a new resident should

      I appreciate y’all parking around the U-Haul trailer and stepping over the string attached to the garden hose post

      As the queen of this new house, today I’ll be serving as your host

      We’re a small family and are really trying to adjust to the area

      We yearn to live the quiet life away from all the hysteria

      So please make yourself as comfortable as you can. The furniture just arrived from No Credit Rental

      As soon as we can swing it, I’ll bring in newer furnishings so please don’t be too judgmental

      I hope you brought your check book because I have some exciting items to show you

      They’ll make your life easier in a lot of every day tasks you need to do

      The first piece I’d like to show you is this heart shaped baking dish I use for Harry’s kidney pie

      Presenting your partner with heart shaped food might just turn you into his “special” pie in the sky

      Next I’d like to show you this handy divided dish that Harry uses for his fish and chips

      Since his new job is an Uber driver, he has to eat on the run to not miss any tips

      Finally I’d like to show this wonderful new casserole pan perfect for my recipe of bubble and squeak

      I think my secret ingredients make it better, and there’s no in law here to critique

      So feel free to look my samples over and thumb through the handy fliers

      Hopefully that should turn you into happy neighbors and satisfied buyers

      And as you leave, I’ll ask you again to be careful stepping over the string attached to the post for the garden hose

      It leads all the way to Harry and is tied to the ring I have in his nose

      4

      Blog at WordPress.com.

      Up ↑