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October 2020

Stink Bugs In Love

picromerus_bidens

Pfssst, the cloud of abdominal discharge filled the air with the familiar stench

A new unsubstantiated rumor was afloat so dizzy reporters cued the cameras and held microphones in a tight fisted clench

The haze of gas enveloped all and consumed these reporters with eager anticipation

This is it! With no sources named as it matters not, we can end 3½ years of frustration

The love pheromones had their antennae frantically waving with the idea of a six o’clock news scoop

We can ruin the conservatives with this new report both on the news and social media with one fell swoop

The noxious odor grew stronger as the tech giants joined in the fray

Another chance to mislead the gullible public they thought while sucking in another lung full of spray

The stink bugs spreading their gas caused their congregation to grow at an astounding rate

Right or wrong this is our story and we’ll report it 24/7 and leave it to them to negate

The bugs got so excited they began to touch antennas together in a show of unity

This action caused all their abdomens to vibrate as they couldn’t pass on the opportunity

Soon a stink bug love fest broke out with all the insects eager players

Only stopping to catch their breath they simultaneously exclaimed, “that ought to fix you deplorable taxpayers”

“We’ve had an impeachment attempt, Russian collusion and a Supreme Court nomination all blow up in our face”

“But this new cloud of gas ought to put us back in charge and leading the race”

So as the boundary between the bug orgy and commonsense widens

One can see familiar faces at the bottom of the throbbing pile, a species scientifically known as Picromerus bidens

picromerus_bidens

picromerus_bidens

12

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

As the Biden campaign train continues to run in tiny circles in his basement

The candidate continues to blow smoke about being Trump’s replacement

With his curious strategy one must listen quick when he pokes his head out of his prairie dog hole

American people would like your answer on an occasional question like what are you going to do about coal

But wait, it seems that the answer given has to do with the audience of six he is speaking too

In reality the only energy he will consider after doing away with the oil industry is energy a newly formed manufacturing group can renew

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

Now you’re blaming the spread of co-vid on the President while this virus continues to ravage planet Earth

And hiding behind experts that are learning on the run you play that card for all it’s worth

So if in charge, how are you going to hold the Chinese accountable for the devastation

Apparently we are going to tell them that they’ve been bad actors and watch them quiver with fright over that condemnation

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

You say you’re a friend of minorities but let’s take a look at how you really feel

You state you’re sorry for your crime bill that was way over the top for petty crimes that ruined thousands of lives behind bars of steel

But are you truly sorry as you peer down from your government perch

To find the real man behind his bluster one doesn’t have to do much of a Google search

The minorities your party feels entitled too apparently are super predators and live in a racial jungle

Phrases like ”you ain’t black,” or bring in social workers to show families how to raise their kids add to this media suppressed bungle

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

Finally you’ll need to pull your head back to safety when the New Green Deal’s bill comes due and reality sets in

You’ve been drooling over huge tax hikes for the rich and getting your hands on Social Security thinking that’s a win

The fact is the New Green Deal is gonna cost Americans way more than they are willing to pay

Unfortunately because they’re being led down the Yellow Biden Road with blinders on they’re going to find out the hard way

So Say it ain’t so Joe continue to smile at the camera and lie your head off

And Americans can feel your programs much like at the doc’s as he lubes his finger and tells you to turn your head and cough

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Judge 54 Where Are You?

The cases to be reviewed were on the desk as Chief Roberts attempted to call the Supreme Court to order

On the docket for this session were arguments concerning putting peoples’ wealth on hold and do we really need a border

The courtroom appeared to be standing room only but a closer look revealed the space was filled with newly designated court appointees


For the court findings to always rule in leftist favor the newly elected President added an additional forty eight radical justices so the majority always agrees

Currently the arguments could not commence as two of the new justices could not be found

It seems two judges from the great states of Puerto Rico and Washington DC were at the local pot dispensary to buy a pound

With marijuana now legal in all 52 states they felt their thought process to rule on cases would be greatly expanded while high

And since pot dispensaries were on every street corner they thought while on tax payers time they could lay in a supply

While waiting for the court to resume Chief Roberts surveyed the T-shirt clad justices all with their causes emblazoned across their chest

The traditional robes had been cast aside as the new radicals chose to be casually dressed

A quick glance around the room showed demands for the new green deal, planned Parenthood, The Paris Accord, and defunding the police

All anxious, screaming support and obscenities about their pet causes as the squeaky wheel gets the grease

His eyes suddenly stopped on the Abolish The Electoral College t-shirt, as he couldn’t remember Hillary being appointed without his knowledge

But there she was screeching she coulda shoulda have been the first pants suit wearing woman in charge if it wasn’t for that damn Electoral College

With complete disdain for the American citizens the democrats had formed a court of extremists to rule in favor of their leftist referenda

With no thought to American business or taxpayer as to how to pay for their progressive agenda

To the shallow minded democrats the talk of a few trillions more rolls easily off the their tongues while making hard working people shudder to think

It’s easy they say and no big deal as we’ll just print more money ’cause we have an unlimited supply of ink

2

We Won’t Raise Taxes @ $5/gal

Remember when Obama ruled and gas at the pump on a good day was $4/gal.

The eagle had flown for the oil sheiks with America grasped in it’s talon

Their keffyeh’d heads and robed figures would get together every couple of months to fix the oil output

“We must keep the price inflated for our gains and keep America under our foot.”

How quickly we forget constantly calculating mileage in our heads ’cause a trip to Grandma’s was seventy five bucks

And groceries were up 30% as a fuel surcharge was added for product delivered by trucks

Airlines canceled flights, propane tanks had minimum delivery requirements as customers couldn’t afford a full tank and homes were warmed with space heaters

Those nightmare days could return sooner then later should the votes fall in favor of the liars and cheaters

Should the Biden/ Harris ticket win say goodbye to to fossil fuel and coal burning plants

Fracking and it’s associated jobs will disappear in the first year as Joe slowly shuffles into the shadows because we all know Kamala wears the pants

However watching Senator Harris debate Vice President Pence was disturbing to say the least

Her leadership skills need to be questioned as she answered nothing and could only regurgitate tired facts as her sophomoric eye rolling increased

The Democratic party is intent on slamming their super crazy high priced schemes down everyone’s throats forgetting that they might soon be on the world stage

The foreign super powers aren’t going to be impressed with coddling to your anemic democratic pals as the partisan weaknesses will be easy to gauge

Because quite frankly they’ll have no use for the annoying giggle and trying to look smug

As Xi, Putin and Kim Jon-un will take turns to squash her like a bug

So Americans keep your Gas Buddy app handy as you’ll be looking for the best deal

As in the not too distant future $5/gal may be quite the steal

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