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December 2022

Merry Christmas Taxpayers, Here’s A 1.7 Trillion Debt Just For You

In 1869 Leo Tolstoy published the first complete edition of “War and Peace.” At 1225 pages the novel is reasoned to be a very long read.

It’s been estimated the average person would take 32 hours to finish causing many a literary student’s eyes to bleed

Considered by many to be one of the finest novels ever written, one doesn’t sit down and expect to complete the reading in a couple of days

At close to 4200 pages the new Omnibus spending bill is over three time longer than “War and Peace”and presented to Congress with only three days to read and appraise

In the movie All The Presidents Men, the deep throat character advised the reporter, “these are not very bright guys.” The same holds true for this group of lawmakers

Because most have to use their fingers and move their lips when reading, interns are hired to read the legislation and break down the language for these so called movers and shakers

The current Omnibus Spending Bill cements their place at the public trough for next year’s Congressional session

Ensuring the taxpayers’ great grandkids a Christmas present of untold debt and freedom supression

What’s another trillion among friends? Belly up to the bar with your list of pork demands

Bring in an outsider in a t-shirt to tell Americans they haven’t paid enough for his failings as he parades around playing to the grandstands

Pay federal lawyers a couple of billion to continue their paper trail for the January 6th Kabuki play

But don’t give a dime to the southern border as the migrant surge continues to feast on taxpayers seemingly unending buffet

“I often think how unfairly lifes good fortune is sometimes distributed” laments Leo Tolstoy in “War and Peace”

The quote still holds true 150 years later as Congress continues to greedily slurp the gravy at the public trough and the taxpayers they continue to fleece

So amid the shouts of joy from the great grandchildren on Christmas morning will be the biggest present of all unseen under the tree

The bill for 1.7 trillion and all the future bleakness and tragedies happily passed along by the current powers that be

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A New World Order Christmas

Mandatory overtime had been issued for the last ninety days. The elves were not in their usual joyous mood.

Santa was using his whip on those he considered shirkers as he resorted to constantly cursing and appeared unglued

He was living with new work orders that had been issued by the high command that threatened him with immediate dismissal

It seems that the standard toys such as dolls and video games had been replaced with New Green Deal themed gifts causing the hair on Santa’s neck to bristle

Here it was just before the annual nighttime sleigh ride and he was still scrounging favors from his suppliers to put his list together

His elf packers were frantically loading the sleigh with their hastily drawn plan-o-grams while Santa was grumbling about the approaching weather

“Climate change, my fat ass,” he thought as pulled on his thermal underwear and specially insulated gloves

He already knew he’d be spending this entire Christmas Eve leaving presents behind that no kid loves

Big on his list were mantle display jars so progressive parents could proudly exhibit little Billy’s testicles as mommy and daddy decided to go with the gender-less fad

Santa was also perplexed with the number of requests for the Trump digital trading cards as he studied his list on his I-pad

It seems that Trump in a Superman suit was gaining on the demands for a look alike Zelensky green t-shirt

Security cameras and alarm systems were loaded on the sleigh in an attempt to keep the huge influx of migrants out of people’s homes as the unabated surge continues from the southern desert

The list also highlighted the most requested stocking stuffer as being air freshener and shoe cleaner to help with the odor of having to step through the homeless human waste left on the steps of the office entryway

“It’s gonna be a weird Christmas,” thought Santa as he was checking his orders against what was loaded on his sleigh

“I just hope we don’t get chopped to bits by some spinning windmill that is hard to see in the dark”

Hoping that this year’s “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night,” wouldn’t be his last remark

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Great Stocking Stuffer Idea: Turkey Jerky

The USDA defines jerky as a “dense meat that has been made lightweight by drying”

It seems with the new Congress there will be 19 members that are 80 and up. That’s a lot of adult diapers the taxpayers will be supplying

The USDA also states that jerky is shelf stable and requires no refrigeration

The only item required by these geriatric members is a constant donation

They’ve been around for years. But one has to question, why are they still there?

They’ve all grown richer at your expense but don’t expect help from them in your region as that’s your own cross to bear

They keep getting voted in because you as a voter recognize their name, and they’ve done nothing to put themselves in the electors’ crosshairs

If they can lie low long enough thanks to their free healthcare, they can continue to sop up the gravy and become multi-millionaires

It doesn’t matter one bit about party affiliation, they’re very comfortable with their lot in life

Flying in above the electorate, one shouldn’t miss the welcoming luncheon, while all the poor folk struggle with their daily strife

Democrat or Republican, the geezers are in. They may not like the majority policies but kay sera sera, whatever will be will be

So please pass the lobster and champagne as all is good. Just don’t try to redistrict their area or you’ll hear them scream like a banshee

So here’s to your longevity and compassion. I sincerely believe the signed message just above your request for another donation

Though you’ve represented my region for seven terms, I know you’ve never visited this location

It’s long pastime for term limits on both houses and an age limit for the candidates and elected members

Before the entire congress has the memory of their own “big guy” who would call you by name if he only remembers

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Another Blue March Through Georgia

Once again another blue march swept across the State of Georgia. It had been 158 years since Sherman cut his path of destruction

That march was Washington’s attempt to put down the rebel uprising and throw the south into 100 years of reconstruction

This time the march was in response to Ex-President Trump’s failure to acknowledge all that glitters is not gold

Mounting his podium at one of his rallies he revels in the adoration of the crowd, truly a sight to behold

He figures just by pointing a finger and blessing a future candidate with typical Trump arrogance, that candidate will roll to victory

Should the candidate stumble and lose the election Trump gets before the microphone and states the opposition won by pure trickery

Trump has been a plague to Georgia’s republicans. He rode in on a white horse and blessed a then unknown Brian Kemp in the Governor’s race

Kemp managed to turn back a strong push by Stacy Abrams but then shot himself in the foot by appointing Kelly Loffler to a vacant Senate seat who was a hapless political disgrace

She was so bad at her job she cost the other Georgia Senator his seat just by association

Seizing the opportunity, the democrats poured money into the state promoting racial predjudice with every absentee ballot claiming a second coming of southern confederation

Forget about inflation, immigration, or rising crime. The two blue Senators have now claimed their place at the public trough and are poised to rubber stamp Biden’s grand schemes

This blue march wasn’t about a rebel uprising. It was all about ingrained ignorance, power, money, greed and squashing individual freedoms and American dreams

So thank you Mr Trump. Please stay out of states that might have a chance to fend off a socialist wave

Grab a wedge and work on your short game before turning republicans in another state into an underfunded freedom seeking enclave

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Casey Jones Now Has A Landscape Business

“Scheduler called Casey ’bout half past four.

He kissed his wife at the station door”

He climbed in the cabin with his orders in his hand

Suddenly turned, threw his paperwork in the firebox and said, “Its time I make a stand”

He’d been promising his wife to accompany her to the doctor to have a problem checked out

Now, because he’s always on call, she’ll have to brave traffic and face the doctors by herself while they prod and poke about

Casey had enough. He’d been on call for eight straight years always at his bosses beck and call

He’s never had the gumption to stand up to them and they relished holding his job over his head to watch him crawl

The union had tried to make a stand as they knew an interrupted supply chain would hurt the economy

However, Mr Biden, “the most pro labor President” squashed the pending strike with his own form of regal autonomy

Once again the President’s half-truths and downright lies were spewed to fit the occasion

He patted the rail workers on their head and gave them a paltry three days of UNPAID leave for medical appointments as he jetted to his beach house to balance the equation

So Casey hopped down from the cabin, told the scheduler to stick it “where the sun don’t shine”

Took his savings, bought some landscape equipment and now sets his hours while listening to his own engines whine

2

Billy Beer, Hunter Habits

There has been a lot written comparing President Biden to President Carter

One was a lifelong politician and racist while the other was a Navy Lieutenant, a Georgia Governor and appeared smarter

With most Presidents some of the baggage dropped on the White House steps and the American public involves members of their household

Jimmy had Billy, a folksy alcoholic good ole boy while Biden has Hunter, a person who in any other walk of life would be trying to get paroled

After President Carter’s surprising election, Billy seized the moment with his fifteen minutes of fame

Based solely on the fact his brother was elected to the Office of President, Billy felt he had at least a little skin in the game

It wasn’t long before reporters were flocking to Plains Georgia to hang on every homey witticism that Billy might spin

In the mid 70’s access to the President was a big deal to the press. Six beers in and who knows what secret nugget of information Billy might spring

Billy capitalized on his sudden celebrity with a namesake beer and much ballyhooed Libyan loan

President Carter was quick to tell the American people he was not swayed and Billy’s activities were his own and were such he couldn’t condone

Fast forward 42 years and President Biden and his family of elitist crooks have taken the idea of payola to a whole new level

Because of his addict son (“the smartest guy I know”) Biden has been entered into agreements with the devil

Need to get next to the President for power, weapons and influence? Create a seat for Hunter at the executive table for the largest natural gas producer in Ukraine

Hunter’s qualifications for this natural gas expertise included bedding his dead brother’s widow and being kicked out of the Navy for cocaine

The brain addled son of the President, when not on Air Force II was filming drunken flings with prostitutes and downloading clips on his notorious laptop

When traveling with his dad on the taxpayers dole, Hunter was in the process of meeting the Chinese about forming a private equity firm and setting up a profitable shop

Poor Jimmy, a man of honest and integrity had to deal with his brothers shenanigans that involved beer, a loan and peeing on the runway

While President Biden, a man who continuously lies to fit the moment, does nothing to hide his sons despicable behavior and as the “big guy” watches the taxpayers federal tax with holding laundered money roll in while ignoring the crack pipe in the ash tray

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