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An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports

Month

November 2019

The Holiday Haters Radio Station


We appreciate our many loyal listeners who have requested no Christmas music on this radio station
The constant jingle jangle of holiday themed melodies at every turn leads to unrelenting aggravation

To appease you our listeners we’ve created an alt station for both streaming and on the air at 99.8
These songs will tell a different story though the tunes may sound familiar they will morph into a song you won’t hate

Below is just a sample of what this new seasonal station will try to undertake
So kick back and turn it up when you feel you need a holiday break

There’s No Place Like Home For The Holidays: These days in this politically alienating time sometimes it’s hard being at home for the holiday

The song now goes we arrive at the last minute, gulp down the feast and be out the door and by the time angry Uncle Joe picks a fight we’re well down the road in our Hyundai

Little Drummer Boy: For political correctness sake, now the Little Drummer Person
Just what the new parents needed, after quieting those noisy lowing cattle, some kid pounding on a drum causing the infant child’s crying to worsen.

Baby It’s Cold Outside: An inappropriate song about using alcohol for sex
Now a song about surprise when Baby turns out to have male private parts and huge pecs

Do You Hear What I Hear: The first line of lyric is the same asking if you can hear
Only now the song is about an over bearing abusive husband hollering for more queso dip and beer

Deck The Halls: A song about decorating the house for the yuletide season
Now a song about appropriate ways to brighten the house so you won’t be charged for treason

I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus: Now changed to I Saw Mama Kissing Mrs. Claus
Since Mama was just outed this year it should be an interesting dinner with the in laws

Our goal is that by the end of the season our listeners will appreciate our endeavor
We feel that since the Christmas music starts now before Halloween our station is better late than never

A Deplorable’s Vocabulary Primer to the Hearings

It’s been three years now and the democrats still have their panties in a wad
Their frantic attempt to keep the republicans from reelection has Americans viewing them as odd

Forget about the USA’s problems of immigration, infrastructure or healthcare
Trump in office for another four years is unthinkable and cause for great despair

They’re at home plate down two strikes and hoping this impeachment process is not strike three
Rather than legislate they’ll build a case based on innuendo provided by their own designees

Words are being tossed around during the hearings that this Primer will help clarify
You’ll understand some of the language used by those hand picked partisans chosen to testify

Whistleblower: This is an individual who reports to a superior evidence of a crime
Like when we think that Donna Doright sent the home office pictures of Cathy Cleavage and General Manager Sammy Slime

Quid Pro Quo: Elitist speak for you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
This how Cathy Cleavage went from temp to executive assistant behind closed doors

Impeachment: An effort to bring formal charges against a higher-up by questioning that individual’s honesty
That is why Sammy Slime now works third shift in his new career of broom management for being lusty

The fact is this whole impeachment seems contrived and overplayed
As the Senate won’t vote Trump out, this whole inquiry is now the Dems divisive crusade

However, this hearing does detour around their campaign promises made when elected
Just another delaying tactic as their constituents will continue to be neglected

For they know that to accomplish guarantees made for their election they’ll have to work across the aisle
So America can stand up to their armpits in alligators while the Dems hide behind this trial

Jezebelosi: History Does Repeat Itself

 

About three thousand years ago a young woman was married to Israel’s king
A headstrong woman she didn’t appreciate the religion her new subjects seemed to cling

She set about to change all that by introducing her own beliefs for all to praise
She was now a woman of power and demanded all her subordinates to accept her mores

The new Priestess then set out to destroy all who opposed her
Unlike today, killing the opposition was fair so old beliefs did not recur

Her subjects lived in fear they and their ideology would be exposed by her tirades
As her Highness’s doctrines could possibly crumble the powerful Kingdom of Israel for decades

Fast forward 3000 years and now a powerful woman is out to instill her own values on a Nation
Elected to represent an area beset with multiple problems of immigration, homelessness and high taxation

She is determined to take down the person legally voted into office by the rules of the Constitution
Using any means possible through lies and innuendo supplied by shadowy figures, she’s hoping for prosecution

Since murder is now frowned upon except in a certain former presidential society
This lady would not consider wearing that crown of notoriety

If she and her sycophants before the upcoming election could take total control
She could turn the country into her private domain without a soul

She does feel the sweat of desperation creeping into her tired leak to the media style
Easily disproved statements and secret closed door meetings have replaced her previous guile

When the next election is over and she is forced to turn over her gavel
She and her party will see the plans for a new America unravel

Unlike the Jezebel days she can’t be thrown out the window to the hungry dogs below
But she will have to hit the road back to destitute California with her pack of toadies in tow

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