An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports


December 2020

Here Chumps Have Some Crumbs

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone

When she got there the cupboard was bare as Nancy Pelosi hadn’t blessed the old lady from her throne

You see Congress had a shot at loading up a bill written on the backs of working Americans with their own pork

It was an opportunity to cram the “stimulus” bill with their vested interests, do some back slapping and pop the cork

Congress then can sound the trumpets and shout triumphantly about what they accomplished for the taxpayers

You’re not supposed to notice they have spent the last year doing their utmost to quash the citizens’ hopes and dreams as politicized naysayers

So they sent a bill to the floor that took a guy with a hand truck to deliver

The bill was 5,593 pages long with expected approval in a measly six hours to continue to sell Americans down the river

Both Senators and Representatives were expected to know what was in this pork package in a very short period of time

After watching clips on television from the various dim witted representatives for them to say they read the entire package would be a lying crime

And by the way The House did remember it’s electorate after locking them down for ten months with fabricated stories that the sky is falling

With a big $600 stimulus check to spend any way one wants on such luxuries as food, heat or lights but that is not what is really galling

The downtrodden are supposed to take solace in knowing the bill does provide millions in relief for Cambodia, Burma and Nepal

Sure it seem like a slap in the face, but to quote Pink Floyd “It’s Just Another Brick In The Wall”

And just maybe with 25 million earmarked for the Kennedy Center, Pelosi could be bestowed with Honors while the rest of America has cut expenses to the bone

As business owners are struggling to keep their doors open, food banks are empty and the elderly are dying alone

The free spending list goes on with such goodies as ten million awarded for Pakistani Gender Studies of all things

An easy way to solve this dilemma to to peek under the partung to see if the body part is stationary or if it swings

The money grab continues as the Smithsonian is to be tossed a billion and funds are set aside for the Dalai Lama

While Americans suffer both sides of the aisle are immovable in their demands all adding to the drama

There is no limit to the vile corruption, payola and collusion of an elected official

So when that official looks into the camera and states they’re turning Heaven and earth for you, remember that smile is painted on and completely artificial

The Masked Manger Scene

The rain splattered off the heads of the reindeer and the lighted plastic Santa
It was the time of the year when the faded decorations were pulled from storage as part of seasonal Americana

The Black Friday sales started in August as online shopping was recommended
Percentage discounts were offered for a minimum purchase and free shipping was extended

The Sears toy catalog wish book and layaway had become memories of yuletide past
The throngs of mall shoppers and walking through a mist of perfume in department stores were remembrances that were disappearing fast

Cards had become a well wishes greeting that could have easily been sent in June
And if one signs up for a charged monthly app the kids can watch a yearly Christmas cartoon

Christmas parties are frowned upon and are restricted to a gathering of ten
More than five cars in the driveway can create a knock on the door from the pandemic lawmen

Mistletoe kisses are thrown from across the room providing not too much air is moved
And eggnog is presented in single serve cups that are CDC approved

Finally the living Nativity scene has all the participants masked
Including the animals wearing modified muzzles in case anyone asked

The fact that joy is being squeezed out of the season by hysterical naysayers is a disgrace
But even the arbitrary restrictions vanish when one sees on Christmas morn the wonder in a toddler’s eyes and the delight on her face

Forgive Us Our Debts As We Voted Democratic

The line had formed in mid January, the numerous MBA’s were waiting for the government dole
They had signed up for student loans now due and cancellation of their obligation was their goal

The new President was being coerced into eliminating the loans with the wave of his new wand
Leaving the lending institutions to eat those funds owed and previous debtors feeling conned

“It’s great for the economy,” preached the newly empowered left leaning lawmakers
“That’ll be an extra 200 or 300 dollars a month and help turn those degree holders into movers and shakers”

They now will be able to trade in their old minivan and park that new BMW in their driveway
Just like winning the lottery their next 10 years of debt will be forgiven and the current balance they won’t have to repay

This debt cancellation will help the future elitists but do nothing to help the struggling working class
They’re the ones worried about working two jobs, the price of daycare and the next tank of gas

Who’s gonna cancel their debt? Perhaps congress can cancel the next ten years of monthly rent
That would put more bucks in their pocket rather than receiving a paycheck with half of it owed and already spent

It seems a good way to stifle an economy is to eliminate all obligation
Entrepreneurship and determination can easily be replaced by new legislation

The dreams of starting and running your your own business will vanish when sitting in front of the institution lender
Because that bank official understands that if things get tough that client only has to give up and surrender

The grit and hard work that formed small town America when Hershey bars were a nickel
Will go the way of the Pledge of Allegiance unless you happen to be saluting the hammer and sickle

Every Time A Bell Rings

The hot chocolate had been served and the Christmas carols were in full swing

The blabber mouth parrot had already stated for the fortieth time that “every time a bell rings an angel gets her wings”

A muffled knock on the door caused all the heads to look up simultaneously

“Ask for the password” said two of the party spontaneously

“Password?” asked the host shushing his guests with his ear against the door

“Clarence” came the whispered reply barely audible so the neighbors wouldn’t hear and the party be done for

“Were you followed?” asked the host peering through the blackout curtains to the empty street

“No” said the guest. “I backtracked to make sure I wasn’t followed. I was very discrete”

“I parked down the block and used a holly branch to cover my tracks in the snow”

“And then crawled along the fence so I wouldn’t be seen and no one would know”

“Every time the door bell rings we think we’re getting caught in a government sting,” said the parrot from his perch

Always fearing the worst the host glared at the bird paranoid this gathering would leave him in a lurch

The good hearted Bedford Falls policeman had been replaced by a tattooed social worker always in a bad mood

If caught with a gathering more than five large fines and community service were doled out with no arguing as you were positively screwed

Whatever happened to “Remember no man is a failure as long as he has friends”

It seems this phrase has been replaced by “A man can have friends as long as he pays the price for the rules he bends”

The party started up again in a more relaxed mood enjoying Uncle Billy quietly tickling the piano keys

Happy in the warmth and fellowship, savoring the carefully prepacked buffet and for once not worrying about the heavily politicized disease

The bird had been strangely quiet but the host was sure it wouldn’t last long

He didn’t realize that when he taught the parrot “the bell” slogan he would be so wrong

The laughter and smiles continued as all in the party were enjoying themselves

Relishing the glow from the punch and telling ribald stories about the elves on the shelves

When all at once the party groaned and then cheered as the parrot screeched from his swing

“Every time a bell rings, WHOA! WAIT! Who let the cat in?”

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