Commentary on the world around us in simple Mother Goose type rhymes to be shared among people from all walks of life. I may be contacted at: Skittyman1@gmail.com or twitter @KevinSkittyman1.
The auctioneer mounted the steps to the podium, looked at the assembled group and announced, “Well start the bid at $25 for this loaf of day old bread
The crowd nervously peered into their sacks of money hoping they’d have enough to spend as inflation was rampant and widespread
Fuel was scarce and the car hadn’t been cranked in months, the electric car experiment had been an abject failure and now food was hard to find
Cities were starving, there was no transportation to deliver food to market. Pipelines had been shutdown and cyber attacked leaving America in a bind
The national debt was too large to overcome. Trump figured he had eight years to eliminate the liabilities and was defeated in four
He had spent huge in various programs adding almost 5 trillion to the deficit while watching the economy soar
But a pandemic, the biased malicious media, and his own bombastic attitude stopped the eight year run and had turned the reins over to the masked buffoon and his idiotic sidekick
Figuring to quickly make his mark as a decisive leader he canceled all things that had the economy recovering and started giving away futile stimulus checks like toys from St. Nick.
Free medicare for all, canceling student debt and a green new deal will all cause the national debt to balloon
Much like Tinkerbell with her magic wand, the President was awarding his cronies with their pet projects as he thought himself as the omnificent tycoon
The economy had been led to the inevitable crash. The democrats had thrown the term trillions around to the point of no meaning
The citizens were hungry, the service sector jobs weren’t needed and crime was unchecked. America was no longer worried about greening
So a small group had assembled in a last ditch effort to bid on some food items to help the desperate kinfolk living in their small house
Wishing for a do over as history had been ignored allowing the USA to be hustled by their own apathy and a relentless media to elect a self centered despicable louse
The question startled her. She’d been focused on her phone and Facebook
She’d completely missed the inquiry hoping the computer’s camera didn’t capture her dirty look
She’d grown accustomed to four hours repetition of hum drum Zoom lessons to a distracted group of students
All the while texting and giggling to fellow educators the fact that some of her pupils closely resembled teenaged mutants
Her county’s schools had been shut down for over a year though strange at first now this part time job at full time pay was a breeze
The Teachers Union was adamant, no one will return as long as they can hide behind the disease
But a new order was issued, teachers were to return to the classroom for one day a week.
Originally thinking the Zoom thing would never work, soon one realized they could haphazardly prepare for this new technique
Perhaps we can hide behind the Teachers Union demanding prior to returning all have the covid shot
As it seems between Biden’s promise and those annoying parents the whole world has their panties in a knot
The parents can be the worst, having to answer questions about goals and agenda when we all know they’re using us a babysitters
Besides no one misses lunch room duty, bus patrol, or time expended on school events, recent memories all causing jitters
The reality of returning to the classroom, the daily commute or just putting up with the kids trying to teach subjects that you’ll need to reintroduce
It may seem easy to the outsiders but to teachers now used to ducking out early this can only be considered abuse
One cannot turn on a TV these days without being forced to watch a gambling ad
These commercials all seem innocent enough, bet a dollar to win a hundred with just a touch of your keypad
It all started with the state run lottery, to help the education system scratch a ticket, play the numbers and win a chance at the mega bucks
Of course for most people it’s money spent that can’t be recovered to pay the bills and that’s what sucks
Now the lottery has competition from sports betting and TV stations own betting parlay
So before this new administration taxes it’s working citizens into oblivion a national lottery should be thrown into the gambling fray
Odds can be given to bettors on the current gossip or political scene
For instance, currently at 10:1 are the odds being given when Meghan will be called a back stabbing goldigger by the Queen
For the first time patient player, a fools bet would be the date Trump concedes the election and stops his rigged rant
At 25 million to one what’s the harm in a dollar bet and then wait for him to recant
For the real players a good longshot bet at 10,000:1 would be when Jen Psaki actually answers a question
With the over/under at 1832, it might be a better wager to see how many questions she can consecutively field while providing her usual ambiguous phrase of deflection
Also getting odds is Biden’s new red flag gun proposal intended to help identify unstable people and will hopefully also apply to the Congressional House
Because at a little better than even odds it’s just a matter of time before a representative’s sordid past is exposed and proclaimed a nut job by his spouse
This money making scheme is endless, just imagine the odds you could get if when standing near a heat source how long it would take for all the Botox to drain from Pelosi’s face
And in the contest for the worst administration ever would this group win show or place
The list could go on forever the authorized betting parlors’ phones would be ringing off the hook
By adding 5 trillion more debt to the taxpayers bill in less than 90 days, Americans need a shot at big money before the government lays claim to their check book
Once again the narrative required dragging poor old Jim Crow around
It is proclaimed the State of Georgia has passed into law rules designed to keep people of color down
This places an unfair burden on minorities was the rallying cry
But truthfully the laws passed enhanced all peoples’ ability to vote but they instead listened to the President’s lie
He claimed the new rules hearkened back to the Jim Crow era when black people and poor white trash had to pass literary tests to vote
Latin textbooks were given to potential voters and when the script wasn’t comprehended the assembled democrats all had reason to gloat
Back then restrooms, water fountains, rail cars and theater balconies were all assigned by skin tone
Somehow this race baiting pandering President became confused over standard voting rules and his comments became overblown
He seems focused on a rule no one can approach someone standing in line with water or snacks
Gee Mr President that has always been a rule that no one can approach a voter line inside 150 feet and this wasn’t aimed at blacks
Remember how in westerns (and currently today) the bars were always closed on election day
The same applies here as all voters have a right to enter the polling place without being accosted by anyone with any message they might try to convey
There can be no argument over voter ID whether voting in person or by mail
This eliminates any accusations of ballot box stuffing or votes by people who have long since bit the dusty trail
So woke companies might try reading through the new laws before jumping into the cancel culture parade
If a group boarding a Delta jet used a library card as their ID and all had ticking suitcases the other passengers just might be dismayed
And Coke would hate it if people standing in concession lines were shown pictures of diabetic amputees
So before bowing to some small vocal groups’ portrayal of suffering victims the companies really need to dot their i’s and cross their t’s
Finally another gutless major league sports franchise pulled their Atlanta bound all-star game
Furthering the disgrace that professional sports has become and that’s a shame
Therefore if President Biden and his lapdogs want to continue to spread his lies
He needs to be man enough to back up his Jim Crow claims by answering real questions and all that implies
In early summer of 2015 developer and TV personality descended the elevator
To make the announcement he intends to become the United States Chief Administrator
He was there to challenge the Washington career do nothing politicians
Washington was a good ole boys club whose entrance required passing the me first auditions
Trumps primary challengers were the same tired names and faces that had been feeding from the public trough for years
Fueled by payoffs from lobbyists and foreign investments under a politician’s disguise when really they all belonged to the Fraternal Order of Racketeers
The Republicans itching for a change from another defeat by Obama democrats appointed Trump to lead the attack
And the fact Obama’s highly unlikable personal puppet was the democratic opposition is the straw that broke the camel’s back
It took a Clinton to put Trump into office as a decent democratic candidate would have won in a walk
While Trump won his states Washington, the democrats and the press stood by too dumbfounded to squawk
So for four years the cretins from big tech, the press, and various government agencies mounted an unrelenting mud slinging campaign
The daily socialist racist rhetoric from big tech and the press became the recurring refrain
The bullying campaign eventually proved too much for the thin skinned obsessive Trump
A second term became unobtainable when bombastic tweets, unfavorable children and questionable election results couldn’t put Trump over the hump
Hopefully the Biden administration will create another republican capable of defeating this socialist nonsense
And give the boot to this pack of American haters hiding behind the “we’re for all the people” pretense
The Washington puppet master achieved his goal as the country is now only baby steps away from a uni government with one supreme ruler
Perhaps the country can survive another two years, if not we’ll be bowing to a communist agenda and nothing could be crueler
Racist, the word has spread across the US like kudzu over Georgia fields
When talking points are to be ended in any discussion one word stops all intelligent thought on all ideas that debate yields
In a world where any slight is considered a heinous crime canceling all reason is the new game
Any subject brought up in discussion will predictably fire up someone seeking their 15 minutes of fame
Whether a network, an organization or an individual the race card will be played
A talking head will invariably assume the cause and for the kowtowing media deliver a five minute tirade
The racist agenda is set to take on all comers in it’s quest to smother free speech
Math, movies, proper names, the Constitution, pick any subject and it’s not out of reach
What follows are a few examples of the idiocy failing to pass today’s woke culture
As they sit on their unhappy miserable perch waiting to pounce on any topic like a starving vulture
Voter ID Laws: These are considered racist as it appears to the democrats that people of color are too inept to apply for a driver’s license
It seems to them that minorities are only capable of music, sports and BLM violence
Babies: Infants are now considered racist as they seem to identify most with the faces that peer into their stroller
That is of course if you swallow the latest gibberish from some biased media paid pollster
Dr Seuss, Dumbo, Star Wars: Most mainstream entertainment is now racist as fictional characters in a fictional story from years ago might offend
Because an oriental using chopsticks, wise cracking crows and characters in black and white costumes can cause liberals’ hair to stand on end
Anything Political: Unless the proposed legislation buys into the the 3rd world socialistic goals, a ranking democrat will automatically pull the R-card
And because they know their policies are asinine, cower behind their walls, fences and the National Guard
White People: That race is born, will live and die a stone cold racist as indicated by the Biden people since his campaign promise of moderation and message of unity and good will
So Congress, continue to call for reparations, free money and the portrayal of minorities as the victims. In the meantime start a campaign to repay the families of those who died in the squalor and horror that was Andersonville
Merriam-Webster describes Expedient “usually implies what is immediately advantageous without regard for ethics or consistent principles”
The Free Dictionary describes Opportunist “one who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve an end, often with no regard for principles or consequences”
As redundant as this title sounds any number of like adjectives may be applied to the man currently masquerading as the Commander In Chief
As he shuffles through his daily routine issuing paranoid mandates and destroying America while the nation watches in disbelief
Back in the old days when a man was labeled yellow he was considered a coward
Curiously the man in the White House made a career of standing in the shadows but the voters left him feeling empowered
Apparently America didn’t realize the man they pinned their hopes and dreams on was constructed of Jello
And failed to notice as he emerged from his basement on his back was a streak in a bright shade of yellow
Consider for a moment that he hid for most of his alleged campaign and rarely showed his face
And when he did, he only read teleprompter feeds, yet the strategy seemingly worked in the electoral race
The fact he rarely shows should not be a surprise as he spent eight years peeking from behind his Boss’s pants
Only nodding along or parroting to the press the emptiness of one of Obama’s America last rants
Currently not taking questions or appearing before Congress to ease the concerns of the nation’s population
Calling anyone in disagreement a racist for questioning his horribly failed policy on immigration
Hiding behind executive orders and a Chatty Cathy press secretary trained in the art of double talk
He is in and out of appearances tossing wise cracks over his shoulder giving the nation at his yellow stripe a chance to gawk
This man and his cohorts demonstrate daily their hatred for America and her can do attitude
And to the hard working people that had voted for him in the past, he shows no gratitude
He won’t be remembered as a Nathan Hale. His only regret will be he couldn’t stomp on more American lives
Keeping his tax heavy agenda and his socialistic cronies in power is all that matters regardless of the citizens’ future his order deprives
He’ll have to live out his days content in the knowledge his cowardice kept him from standing for American ideals
And to the grandchildren growing up under his spending and rules he’ll be remembered as the yellow pirate as their paycheck will be one of his steals
The dim glow of the lamp illuminated the people seated around the table and the strain on their faces
It seems some of the mandates were being ignored and yet there was a drop in new covid cases
The old crone was wildly gesturing with her hands in a willy nilly fashion
Her mask billowing from her botox features emphasizing her anger and misdirected passion
“Just who does Texas and and Florida think they are?” she screeched
“They are ignoring our hourly CDC press releases. We need to have those neanderthal governors impeached’
“Relax Nana,” said the oily guy with the half glasses. “We’re heading this disobedience off before the rest of the nation realizes we’re on a mission from Mao”
‘We’re letting the border situation take take care of Texas. The onslaught of covid carrying illegals will be our sacred cow”
“Since we’re busing these people everywhere when new virus outbreaks pop up we can order more shut downs”
“Hopefully the same will happen in Florida with the maskless spring breakers. They’ll travel back home and spread the virus all over their towns”
Suddenly the mood in the room brightened. A warm glow showed on all in attendance
They realized that wonderful pandemic was keeping their electorate from thinking independence
The group then relaxed and sat back dreamily eyeing their blue state payoffs and newly acquired riches
Secure in knowing that by creating an occasional crisis and then throwing the gullible public a bone, they can continue to treat all citizens as their little bitches
The man peered through the mirror and what he saw left him floored
Right across the pond another leader struggled with similar life travails and the relentless press he abhorred
It seems the next in line to the British throne had been waiting for ascension for more than two decades
Relegated to meaningless Royal functions and marionette waves from the carriage in celebratory parades
Like this newly minted leader who had been lingering 47 years to assume command
This Prince understood what it is to watch his kingdom be ruled by another firsthand
Surprised by the similarities the mirror reflected, the new leader managed a feeble smile
Because in the public life you so vigorously sought every remark can become a civil trial
It seems early in their careers both men’s first wife became a tragic car accident fatality
Both became high profile widowers trying to raise two sons subject to the prying presses’ impersonality
They remarried, one to a political junkie and one to a former sweetheart
And since their much publicized romance and wedding they haven’t been apart
The sons all took different paths in hiding their grief from the tabloid’s eyes and becoming an adult
Two accepted the straight and narrow to maturity while the other two proved more difficult
The firstborn assumed the more traditional high profile duties, while a wilder life the younger two chose
While one snorted drugs with his silver spoon, the other was led around by the ring in his nose
It’s pretty obvious the new leader and the one on hold are still waiting to be completely accepted by their respective nation
The mirror doesn’t lie whether looking into or through the glass it’s remarkable that somewhere out there exists duplication
The speck of dust floated past as Horton cooled in his pool
Tiny voices were screaming obscenities from the dust to cancel books from their preschool
Horton’s big heart was saddened as he was sure the Sneetches were behind all this fuss
These Sneetches appointed themselves as knowing what’s best for everyone and that is what really disgusts
They felt chosen as they alone had the ear of their new puppet leader who hides in his basement
The Sneetches knew they had to cancel everything they didn’t like before this stammering ruler needs a replacement
Horton was just not sure what to do about this new group of angry Sneetches
They all felt they had the right to dictate everyone’s thoughts as they lived behind their walls on their private beaches
The old Sneetches had a star on them that once removed they all became decent creatures
But this new group had no stars just an angry attitude, an ignorant philosophy and yet appointed themselves as omnipotent teachers
“These books are bad,” they screamed. “We reserve the right to cancel any thought outside of ours”
The Sneetches now masquerade as normal people as they don’t have any identifying stars
Horton has heard what happens when books are banned
Little creatures are squashed as an elite few become rulers of the land
“The more you read, the more things you will know
The more that you learn, the more places you will go”
Horton knew that from books he had read
So he thought hard what to do with that dust speck before his nation was mislead
Suddenly a great idea came to him before the whole country was exposed to this disgrace
He sucked that dust particle into his trunk and with all his might blew that speck into outer space
Breaking news as we go to press, the Chinese Disease Control or CDC has issued the following release
Masks must worn in public at all times or risk arrest by the police
The release also stated there is no time limit set as to when the mask mandate will expire
However there are instances when more than one mask will be required
The Chinese seemed particularly concerned about the drive thru anal swab testing sites
The anal swab team has been issued specific guidelines to follow with each car to not violate the citizens’ rights
The tester must remain respectful at all times regardless of the size of the tush hanging out the window
The tester must be willing to assist those having their keister wedged in the window opening of a Ford Pinto
The area to be swabbed must be thoroughly cleaned before proceeding to the next step
A pressure wash machine is available for extreme cases but the cleansing is usually accomplished with an alcohol prep
The tester will always be double gloved with the first glove replaced after every test
That glove is then cleaned, sanitized and by an apprentice blown into checking for leaks to be ready for the next guest
The visitor will always indicate what they had for dinner the previous night
As that reveals to the tester how many masks they need to wear to remain conscious and upright
Though three masks are the maximum the CDC allows most testers have a few extras in their backpack
Because after an all you can eat dinner of fish paste and General Tso’s Spicy Chicken three masks are not enough to approach that crack
And in the case of the notorious Wo Big Fat whose rear oozes out the window and covers the door knob
The tester drawing the short straw will need a fourth mask and a much larger swab
Hopefully by understanding these guidelines one can hang their butt out the window with assurance
That the testing will be professional, mostly painless and covered by your insurance
