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A Daily Observer in Bad Poetry

Humor in Daily Life, Politics and Sports

Hello, My name is Kevin, and I am the bad poet

 

Commentary on the world around us in simple Mother Goose type rhymes just in case an unenlightened liberal might happen to be reading  .  I may be contacted at: Skittyman1@gmail.com  or twitter @KevinSkittyman1.IMG_1921

Featured post

When It’s Black On Black, Matter Lacks

IMG_3162 (2)Another day another shooting another young life ends in death

Onlookers peek from windows and doorways as a young child draws her last breath

Fifty years ago Elvis Presley sang about an angry young man who lays down in the street and dies

And as a crowd gathers round his mama cries

Fifty years later the cries of anguish are still heard

The murders are numerous, so many atrocities the crimes become blurred

Today the perfectly coiffed news reporter stands at the scene trying to emphasize society’s decay

But it’s just the daily shooting and the public has become blase

This wasn’t a white cop involved in the fatality

So the standard interview with the neighborhood leaders is just a formality

The protests, rioting and looting will have to wait for another time

Because this was a gang related random act and somehow that’s not as much of a crime

It’s a black thing, you people on the outside just don’t understand

So to combat this senseless violence the call is for the police to disband

We may not understand but we’re sickened by the pools of blood on the sidewalk

And the forensics teams drawing tiny victim’s outlines in chalk

Oh, the mayor will form a committee to study this area’s depravation

And will issue a stern warning to gang members in a wordy proclamation

Just as a another little casket is lowered into the ground under cloudy skies

As a silent group of mourners stand ashen faced while another mother cries

Sometimes I Feel Like my Butt Is Hanging Over the Pool At Gatorland

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For those that don’t know Gatorland is an old school Florida attraction

The main show involves a man leaning over a pool of hungry gators holding a chicken having faith in his reaction

The alligators come about five feet out of the water to snap up the whole fryer

The man on the platform is held in place by a thick leather strap should a body part the jaws acquire

Chomp

In today’s uncertain times I feel like it’s my butt hanging over the lagoon

Venture out for any purpose and the cancel culture is there to rip you apart and leave body parts strewn

Join the movement, protest and destruct while hiding behind Black Lives Matter

Or be labeled a white supremacist and the movement serves your head on a platter

You’re be required to love all as you would kinfolk

Anything different, mayhem and violence you’ll provoke

It’s of little consequence the person you’re to love is a callous lawbreaker

Unable to hold an entry level job, contributing nothing, paying no taxes, only a welfare taker

The elected pearl clutchers caved into the demands of the angry masses

They shouldn’t have been surprised by crowd size as it gave the unskilled a reason to get off their asses

The everyday workers will bear the brunt of the demands in huge tax increases

They’ve been grinding it out for thirty years now sadly watching as their golden years savings potential decreases

Chomp Chomp

Meanwhile the news media is having a field day with the pandemic updates

Warnings scroll across the screen as new hot spots spread across the states

The dubious expert first advises to not worry about wearing a mask

Two weeks later he’s changed his tune wear one now. So why now? You’re not allowed to ask

They’re the authority, their invented title and pompous attitude says so

And since the public are gullible sheep and unable to think they’ll talk real slow

Keeping a low profile is the order of the day

Shop quietly, tend to medical needs then stay at home out of harm’s way

With the mostly vacant streets the protesters are now free to congregate and make their stand

Waiting for the media’s arrival to mug for the cameras and list their demands

It’s a vicious circle to say the least creating a perfect storm

As one winds up feeling like he’s dangled over the water by the man on the platform

Chomp Chomp Chomp

Anyone Can Run

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It’s been another four years and time for a general election

And a genuine potpourri of candidates lined up to garner voters’ affection

Back in the day a candidate was groomed for office by his career

Trained in all aspects of the job such as the politician’s wolfish smile and to pad pockets of an electioneer

Though the same tired faces surface every four years

A new face will pop up to announce his candidacy egged on by his adoring peers

So let’s take a look at candidates both past and present to see who had their day in the sun

Showing the world the Presidency is an open election and anyone can run

First up is Bernie Sanders a popular socialist but kicked to the curb by his own party

The Democrats teamed up to make sure Hillary got the nod and to Bernie were not sorry

Hillary was their choice thought unbeatable until she opened her mouth

Her opinion on Benghazi and deplorable voters caused her campaign to head south

Then came Donald J., P.T. Barnum only wished he could equal Trump’s showman ability

Creating four years of obsessive crazed media and Democratic hostility

Fast forward four years and the Democrats have tapped basement dweller Joe Biden to lead the way

Desperately trying to keep Sleepy Joe hidden before another unscripted gaffe leads to voter dismay

This guy told a black radio audience that if you struggle to choose then “you ain’t black enough”

Plus in past years a record player and a social worker are needed to raise black kids leaving families in a huff

Bernie Sanders again tried a run but the Democrats had him find his place back on the curb

And essentially place a sign around his neck reading Do Not Disturb

This election’s newcomer is is rap star and record producer Kanye West

Trying to follow in Trump’s footsteps he plans on stealing votes from both parties to win the contest

Maybe I can help with a campaign slogan by using lyrics from his records I have browsed

Perhaps a jingle like “Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused”

Or “Uh baby you’re makin’ it harder, better, faster, stronger” might be one to not sneeze at

But I figure that might be difficult to fit on a hat

With Liberty And Justice For All

When the Planet of the Apes was released in 1968 the end was intended to shock
The main character kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled Lady Liberty unable to turn back the clock

He realized that mankind in its lawless warlike state had annihilated humanity
And to survive in this primal state was his and his country’s destiny

Currently financially backed violent groups are waging war on America’s mores and past
Hiding behind Black Lives Matter, the demands are many. Eliminate law and order, rewrite history and all who oppose are harassed

Every work force has good workers and only a few bad no one will deny
Unfortunately with police, keeping bad ones someone might die

This applies to people of color, all colors if level headed folks would read the stats
But the anarchists prefer to spew the hatred and venom at all citizens not wearing BLM hats

Evidenced by Hitler attempting to wipe out the Jewish people beginning with their history
The fact supposedly educated mayors of the cities under siege doing nothing remains a mystery

Staring straight into the liberal news cameras. “It’s all about slavery and police brutality,” they scream
To underscore their peaceful protests stores are looted and burned orchestrated by the New world Order regime

Rarely mentioned in the slavery uproar are the 350,000 union soldiers who died on the battlefield
These were simple men, shop keepers, mill workers and dirt farmers all fighting that slave ownership be repealed

As ambivalent politicians hide behind their golden parachutes and feel good canned speeches
Denying all racial criticisms pointed their way before leaving for their private beaches

So history is being destroyed, monuments pulled down and police forces defunded
But as ISIS found out in their attempt to destroy a regions’ history a superior force is required for their scheme to be blunted

Thus the circle continues, two forces are doomed to clash therefore the body count will rise
So while law abiding citizens sleep, the momentum behind the New World Order will attempt America’s demise

Hopefully we won’t be left kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled memorial
Making a gleeful photo lead in for some liberal newspaper’s editorial

Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I Only Knew You As Good

Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I only knew you as good
Your label meant quality only now misunderstood

Those easily offended decided your image needed to be removed
A corporate decision to ingratiate your product in the black community and race relations are improved

Your icon a while back by a board room decision had been modernized
Your now dark skinned June Cleaver depiction again needs changing as self righteous indignation has the nation paralyzed

So we’ll package your superior quality and once proud product under a different label
Just so we can serve the same ingredients on the breakfast table

So when the new sterile packaging is complete
Your next step will be to take care of the chef on Cream of Wheat

And in the end when the expense of repackaging and distribution it will require
The tremendous cost will be passed on to the cost conscious food buyer

It won’t stop here product names will continually change lest a group be offended
Spineless corporations will inevitability bow to vocal groups as reality is suspended

Gone is Mia, the Land of Lakes maiden. “She was representing sex trafficking,” the offended would boast
That’s exactly what I thought of as I spread that delicious goodness on my toast

Next in line is that summer treat Eskimo Pie
Another example of good intentions gone awry

Most are not really sure how an ice cream on a stick can be that defamatory
However in certain circles the term Eskimo refers to raw meat eaters and that is considered inflammatory

And so it goes, pick a product and someone will be upset
Familiar product names will change over night due to some group’s threat

After brand names, will the outspoken groups go after produce?
There will be no stopping now, all will change, it’s easy to deduce

Grocers will be cautious of profiling not wanting to imply the black race could be associated with the term watermelon
So be prepared for the produce aisles to be advertising specials on aqua fruit before there’s a rebellion

So Now What?

 

A black man died on camera for the world to see
The brutal cop didn’t reach into his utility belt for a can of mercy

Using his badge for all the life and death authority he needed
He kneeled while three other heartless statues stood by as Mr. Floyd pleaded

The protesters assembled rapidly and grew enormous in dimension
They peacefully marched, waved signs and chanted loudly to show dissension

The numbers swelled in Minneapolis and many cities across the nation
Both protesters and law enforcement massed to hear the frustration as allowed by the Constitution

The media was in a frenzy, perhaps they could catch a violent act on memory card
Just maybe an enforcement person protecting property might push a protester whether by a cop or national guard

The delirious rush to film would be eye-opening by all the camera crews
Certainly a shove, a punch, or a tear gas canister would be the lead for the 6 o’clock news

Mayors and governors alike wrung their hands while praising the marchers simultaneously
Then a store front was caved in, a cop car burned and looting broke out spontaneously

Entire city blocks were torched while mayors ordered their troops to stand down
Protesting injustice now became a looting free for all as all businesses were fair game in the area’s uptown

The images burned into America’s minds were the mobs pouring out of stores with stolen brake pads and bottles of booze
Not because of injustice or frustration but because it’s lawless behavior they choose

So now there’s a movement to defund police forces because of poorly trained bigoted dunderheads
Piss poor biased cops and anarchic mobs are what true citizens and America dreads

Unfortunately for the work of sincere people wanting change, the violent perceptions remain
The objective of one group of people now has to combat the media footage seared into the country’s brain

Save The Last Dance For Me

The country is opening back up and the masks are coming off
People are acting as if everything is back to normal until they hear someone cough

Suddenly the tension can be cut with a knife as activity freezes
And glares of disapproval are directed at the individual that coughs or sneezes

But if the virus is spread through everyday interaction than that is acceptable
Unless of course unless your employment has you working around those most susceptible

People want to get out, to assume normalcy and to be part of a crowd
Emerging from government forced hibernation eager to participate in activities that are allowed

They want to attend concerts, eat at restaurants and socialize at bars
They want to return to yesterday and take back what is ours

Things once taken for granted are missed the most
It’s time to look forward and raise a glass in future toasts

Everyone expects a spike in virus cases or a second wave
The statistics show most recover with the exception of those with one foot in the grave

The population is more than ready to attend church, sporting events and to travel
To lift up the once strong economy that took only a month to unravel

They’re ready to smell the mustard of ball park hot dogs and taste the crispness of the cold beer
To feel the thunk of the landing gear at a vacation destination without virus fears

But as for me I believe I’ll stay home and inside a while longer
They say what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger

I’m not ready to lay in bed with lungs intubated and gasping for breath
While relatives are hastily making last arrangements needed after death

So everyone can make their own decisions about being foot loose and fancy free
But I’ll continue to lay low and hope someone saves the last dance for me

Views From The Basement

The voice from the basement came through loud and clear
His speeches had been rehearsed and edited so on his video he’s normal it appears

But all around him his handlers seemed concerned about his next big gaffe
Causing his detractors to enjoy the moment and all have a big laugh

The virus happening at this point in time for the Democrats is very fortuitous
Hoping the stay at home orders are in place through November frustrating Americans and him being victorious

America’s buoyant economy and the man in charge were dealt a very lousy hand
The Dems in their perfect 20/20 hindsight state how prepared they’d have been to take command

Perhaps they could use as an example their highly successful cash for clunkers incentive
But one will never hear that from the media as that might prove insensitive

Viewing from his cellar through his periscope he wants to make 11 million undocumented people citizens
Guaranteeing the leftists stay in power for the foreseeable future supporting the New World Order visions

Taxes would be raised exponentially to support these new people as most small businesses were shuttered due to state mandates
The new poor would have to rely on the government for subsistence, all part of the devious plan of the candidate

When a vaccine is developed there will be orders issued to implant proof of procedure chips in all residents
Without regard to peoples’ privacy, to keep citizens under Big Brother’s thumb will become the new precedent.

So the dems are prepping a angry woman to assume the reins when the newly elected man is sent to Shady Acres Rest Home
Already rejected once by her own party she’ll show the world who’s in charge with an intense leftist retaliation syndrome

All this can be seen by the presidential candidate peering into the shaken world through his periscope
Using his impeccable hindsight to continually push his anti capitalistic taxation heavy envelope

Getting Used To It

The bills keep piling up higher but the pile of laundry has gotten smaller
I’m rationing my last six pack as my household budget is down to the last dollar

The stimulus check promised a month ago allegedly is in the mail
I’ve tried to log on the see when it is arriving but to no avail

The refrigerator is only cooling last night’s leftovers but the freezer is packed
The news media spreading the constant panic caused my spending to over react

I haven’t shaved in a week and my shower towel is still clean and dry
I’ve been in the same clothes since the first of the month since I’m not in the public’s eye

Besides if you’re not going anywhere the clothes you have on have not been infected
When my temperature was read during my few ventures out no high readings were detected

The pollen on the car has turned it yellow as it hasn’t been cranked in days
And the brittle wipers smeared my windshield into a filmy streaky haze

The price of going somewhere is cheaper as gas is less expensive than it has been for years
Since traveling is frowned on maybe it’s payback for all the former holiday price gouging profiteers

Doctors’ appointments were canceled and asked they be consulted over the telephone
So previously they were just going through the motions when the listened to the heartbeat, peeked in your ears or in your eyes a light they shone

However the grass is cut and multiple chores have been done around the house
Reading and internet searches have been accomplished all the while trying to stay off the nerves of my spouse

This is happening while the country slowly tries to open back up and lose some mandated restrictions
Experts everywhere are quick to second guess all decisions as a failure hoping they’re right just once in their predictions

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