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An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports

Hello, My name is Kevin, and I am the bad poet

Commentary on the world around us in simple Mother Goose type rhymes to be shared among people from all walks of life.  I may be contacted at: Skittyman1@gmail.com  or twitter @KevinSkittyman1.IMG_1921

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Horton Hears A Commie

The speck of dust floated past as Horton cooled in his pool

Tiny voices were screaming obscenities from the dust to cancel books from their preschool

Horton’s big heart was saddened as he was sure the Sneetches were behind all this fuss

These Sneetches appointed themselves as knowing what’s best for everyone and that is what really disgusts

They felt chosen as they alone had the ear of their new puppet leader who hides in his basement

The Sneetches knew they had to cancel everything they didn’t like before this stammering ruler needs a replacement

Horton was just not sure what to do about this new group of angry Sneetches

They all felt they had the right to dictate everyone’s thoughts as they lived behind their walls on their private beaches

The old Sneetches had a star on them that once removed they all became decent creatures

But this new group had no stars just an angry attitude, an ignorant philosophy and yet appointed themselves as omnipotent teachers

“These books are bad,” they screamed. “We reserve the right to cancel any thought outside of ours”

The Sneetches now masquerade as normal people as they don’t have any identifying stars

Horton has heard what happens when books are banned

Little creatures are squashed as an elite few become rulers of the land

The more you read, the more things you will know

The more that you learn, the more places you will go”

Horton knew that from books he had read

So he thought hard what to do with that dust speck before his nation was mislead

Suddenly a great idea came to him before the whole country was exposed to this disgrace

He sucked that dust particle into his trunk and with all his might blew that speck into outer space

New Guidelines for the Chinese Drive Thru Anal Test Sites

Breaking news as we go to press, the Chinese Disease Control or CDC has issued the following release

Masks must worn in public at all times or risk arrest by the police

The release also stated there is no time limit set as to when the mask mandate will expire

However there are instances when more than one mask will be required

The Chinese seemed particularly concerned about the drive thru anal swab testing sites

The anal swab team has been issued specific guidelines to follow with each car to not violate the citizens’ rights

The tester must remain respectful at all times regardless of the size of the tush hanging out the window

The tester must be willing to assist those having their keister wedged in the window opening of a Ford Pinto

The area to be swabbed must be thoroughly cleaned before proceeding to the next step

A pressure wash machine is available for extreme cases but the cleansing is usually accomplished with an alcohol prep

The tester will always be double gloved with the first glove replaced after every test

That glove is then cleaned, sanitized and by an apprentice blown into checking for leaks to be ready for the next guest

The visitor will always indicate what they had for dinner the previous night

As that reveals to the tester how many masks they need to wear to remain conscious and upright

Though three masks are the maximum the CDC allows most testers have a few extras in their backpack

Because after an all you can eat dinner of fish paste and General Tso’s Spicy Chicken three masks are not enough to approach that crack

And in the case of the notorious Wo Big Fat whose rear oozes out the window and covers the door knob

The tester drawing the short straw will need a fourth mask and a much larger swab

Hopefully by understanding these guidelines one can hang their butt out the window with assurance

That the testing will be professional, mostly painless and covered by your insurance

Teach Your Children

The answers to an online pandemic pop quiz that no one took had just been issued

The Teachers Union decided to strike so the sanitized but empty classrooms continued

Emphasizing to the children that they are a pawn in this politicized disease

And run screaming into the night every time a student might sneeze

Allow the kids to lose at least a year of education as they disappear into a wifi world

As the new leftist gender bashing flag is raised and the banner unfurled

The teachers have been handed a carte blanche right to expose pupils to their own hatred, frustrations and broken dreams

For not being the CEO, beauty queen or top athlete, haunting the students class work as part of the one gender scheme

Instruct five year olds in their right to identity choice and ridicule the kid with the Paw Patrol lunch box

Question the students’ whiteness, deride the Constitution and treat women athletes as second class jocks

Let the transgender woman who couldn’t cut it on a men’s team, be dominant as a female instilling a warped sense of power

And as a bonus use the women’s locker room and watch the women shower

The virus has been a true tool for the Teachers Union ultimate goal

That is to stay both seemingly relevant and in control

Turning out scores of functional illiterates keeping the low income government funded housing filled

As leftist radicals and unions count on the second rate education to keep their voters ignorant and unskilled

So thank the frenetic democratic mail in campaign and deal with the voters’ remorse no matter how grim

Because the man elected and heading this radical change will have forgotten about you long before you forget about him

What Was Once History Is Now History

All he had to do to reach Washington was conduct a massive media fueled mail-in campaign

Not taking questions and cloistered in his basement keeping leftist policies hidden so he had no need to explain

His rallies were low key affairs attended by about two dozen supporters

Make that one dozen as the balance were boot licking reporters

The over hyped virus ravaging the country was a lucky political break

The mail in ballots poured in while the in person voters unnerved by all the media hand wringing did not partake

It was easy to shut down classrooms by waving the omnipresent covid wand rendering the population government dependent

Hiding behind the bullying Teachers Union using the hysterical cry that death to all was imminent

The kids when returning to the classroom will now be under the influence that all old history is to be ignored

Learn that motivation, hard work and dedication are traits to be abhorred

Pride in your school, team and America is old school thought

Sneer at the sacrifice and lives lost keeping America free in battles fought

Learn to wear your causes on your sleeve and feel every slight in life is a personal attack

Take no responsibilities for your actions knowing some ratings hungry news outlet will pick up your slack

Turn protests into riots, pull down monuments and continue to eliminate history

If a government reliant population is considered Utopia why are people from other countries risking everything to just get in? Not seeing that remains a mystery

Guns, Walls And Washington

Some 500 years ago the Ming reinforced the Great Wall of China to keep invaders out

Centuries in the making the wall was patrolled by armed countrymen along the 1300 mile route

For ages various Kingdoms made their moats deep and their wall high

Armed with the weapons of that era the walls protected the peasants the King depended on for his food supply

Fast forward to August 13, 1961 and the Berlin Wall was constructed and patrolled by armed guards to keep their citizens in

These people had a look at communism and were fleeing the totalitarian government and the individual freedom suffocation that would bring

On January 7, Washington built its own wall and this one isn’t protecting their border

Reinforced by 25,000 troops with automatic weapons this barrier was constructed to restore order

It seems this wall and bullets were there to protect the ruling class from their own citizens

Erected because a group of largely unarmed protesters were expressing their sheer displeasure in the leftist visions

Looking like a documentary newsreel the razor wire, the armed guards and military vehicles were giving the world a new American perspective

That just maybe the newly elected party’s views were idealistic but realistically very defective

Surrounding themselves with a war strength battalion of soldiers simply because for a few minutes the completely insulated lawmakers felt the same terror and panic the underprivileged feel on a daily basis

The criminal gangs living in the liberal vacuum run rampant daily in their staked out territories as the underserved remain faceless

To counter the gangs’ terroristic freedom and escalating crime, Washington has decided to disarm it’s law abiding citizens

The elites, who have long forgotten their constituents might just need to defend themselves, are proposing a gun grab costing these same tax paying citizens millions

This won’t affect the gangs at all as the judicial system has a soft spot for these lawless thugs

“They had a terrible upbringing so turn them loose,” is the cry as the gangsters laugh up their sleeves and continue to traffic drugs

Maybe Berlin was right, build a wall around Washington just to keep the lawmakers in

And like Siamese fighting fish kept in close quarters they’ll devour each other and that would be a good thing

With No Trump Are They Out Of Aces?

The hand had been played and the object of their hatred had emerged untouched

And the jewelry around their necks had finger print indentations from the pearls they clutched

He was gone, the slings and arrows fired from the last four years had missed their mark

But the storming of the Capitol was to be their shining moment, the zenith in the arc

Time slipped away while they spent weeks posturing for the fawning media, describing harrowing moments, shedding alligator tears and screaming for retribution

The major obstacle to this grandiose show was the impeachment definition written in the Constitution

That despicable individual had left office when his time was up and now lives down south

It seems impeachment charges cannot be brought against a private citizen; the oh so obvious ruling left a bad taste in their mouth

On the big stage of Congressional bridge the impeachment attempt was at best a two club bid

Particularly when one of the main players remained out of sight and on this activity called a lid

The defense lawyers doubled the weak offering and walked away with the grand slam

And forgotten middle Americans knew for a fact this was an appalling waste of money and a total sham

But throwing good money after bad to put on this dog and pony show is how Washington conducts their biz

In spite of their democratic grandstanding the House managed to show the world who the dummy is

Back To The Bats

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The world waited breathlessly for the findings of the WHO working with China to find the cause of the current global disease

Though originally thought to have been caused by animals, it became generally accepted it was a leak at the Wuhan lab that brought the world to its knees

“It probably was an animal”were the dubious findings issued by the investigation as a spread by a lab leak was highly unlikely

Transparent as paint China guarded their information for over a year while the virus ravaged the world and the culprits stood by silently

Animals are the easy villain as the Chinese diners regularly feast on all that walks, slithers, swims or crawls

Customers in the wet market can casually stroll through the hallways and select their menu from the many pitiful eyes peering back from the stalls

Three squeak infant mice, dancing shrimp, fresh puppy dogs are all served up chop stick ready

Add in another original exotic dish from the new hot chef and the clientele could be called trendy

Even though the ingredients of the bug, cat, and bat combo platter had just been butchered capturing the fresh aspect any virus the the animal harbored could be transferred

What microorganisms that lived in the host’s legs, scales or feces might still exist, but assuming the risk is part of the game as freshness is preferred

“It’s still a work in progress” stated the WHO “this will require further investigation”

This means continue to fund our Chinese controlled efforts in the name of cooperation

Now that the unconvincing results have been obtained new research will be concentrated on how to stop the spread of the plague

The man in the White House of Egg Roll claimed victory mostly on how he could stop the illness’s spread but his solutions are at once both retreads and vague

Ban travel or not, wear multiple masks, close specific businesses, continue to isolate are all included in his scheme of the week

Have the sycophantic mouthpieces preach doom and despair and tint chances of rapid recovery as bleak

China knows Americans are gullible sheep, they believe what they see provided the phrase seen isn’t more than a two sentence tweet

So blame the animals, they can’t fight back and besides if fresh they are said to be good to eat

Get Your Class Rebates Now

This just in, in a surprising show of bipartisanship Congress has agreed to a rebate system for college class reimbursement

To help defray the cost of college there will be a flat fee offered for courses taken advancing the leftist agenda to the deserving recipient

Some courses would have no cash value as they would be considered worthwhile in establishing a career

Classes in business or agriculture would not be recognized as with the government dependent leftist agenda they would interfere

A $500 fee would be paid for classes approved by Congress like those from the Philosophy department such as the Introduction To Ethics

Listed as a study of right and wrong pertaining to current society pulling in the sandal wearing socialist types like nails to the study of magnetics

Examples of other courses where the rebate would certainly apply would be Sociology 3770: The Workplace in Film, the study of how work has been presented by the media

After a difficult semester of viewing film depicting the sweat and dedication of workers, the undergraduates are sure to stick to life in academia

This brings up another rebatable course of Sociology 3330: On The Road, the study of tourist attractions and cultural tours

Possibly included in this study is how Stuckey’s Pecan Logs might have advanced white privilege during the family’s summer trip to the shores

The newly graduated individual can apply for these rebates now as the job their degree acquired will in a couple of years be paying $15 an hour

But one would have to act in a hurry because the country is running out of money and the spend crazy progressives are currently in power

Finally one last course that was a sure rebate was Jour 5410/7410: Journalism Ethics shown on the undergraduate class list

But clicking on the number for the course synopsis instead of a description a single sentence states,”this course does not exist”

And that is not a shock.

Money For Nothing And Your Pricks For Free

Congress is currently battling within themselves to decide how much more they want to put America in hock

What’s another 1.9 trillion anyway? The new President had promised payment so what’s with this Congressional deadlock?

One group says turn the money loose, we’ll worry about the consequences later

“We have the votes” they howl to their delight and the smile of the newly elected dictator

The other group thinks this might be too much money, funds that America doesn’t have

The USA’s debt wound is bleeding profusely and for that there is no salve

The debt is outpacing economic growth at a rate last seen in 1946

To right this ship drastic cuts will be required in government spending slashing pet projects in spite of the pain this inflicts

Fighting the pandemic hasn’t been easy with every unfounded lockdown adding to the nation’s blight

Led by a very small man holding a personal grudge writing counter productive executive orders adding to the nation’s plight

Advancing his agenda to the praise of his toadies he figures the best way to move forward is to kill jobs

His complete blindness to the future of America is caused by his own petty hatred when in reality it’s his own citizens he robs

His promised stoppage of the virus has turned into chaos as people are unsure of the number of masks they need to wear and where and when they’ll get their free arm prick

Sign up slots open when word of a vaccine delivery might show up, but to get the shot before Christmas you need to sign up quick

And speaking of pricks, inside the Washington beltway the pricks are thick as thieves

And will stay that way as long as in the Washington system the oblivious citizen believes

You Can Keep Your Doctor

The uninformed were cheering, this is a plan to save us all and the Big Guy is terrific

The Bidencare plan had been implemented and the list of in-network doctors was specific

What seemed like a cool refreshing oasis turned into just another mirage

It seems most doctors with real degrees went to cash only clinics and left very few physicians in the Biden entourage

The VA docs were bailing as the new administration was ordering them to administer to the horde of illegal alien diseases

Leaving veterans once again at the back of the line behind immigrants looking for free healthcare while trying to avoid their sneezes

The number of in-network MD’s under the new improved Bidencare had dwindled to three physicians

The good news is these “experts” were taking new patients including those with pre-conditions

First up was Bill Gates. Bill was a computer nerd tapped by the new IBM home computer market to use his software

His pocket protector must be enshrined in the Geek Hall of Fame as he became a multi-billionaire

Because he does support the causes he believes in, his Foundation aids in squashing the pandemic

Since money buys power he feels he has the authority to advise peoples’ behavior to stop the world wide epidemic

Next up is Doctor Anthony Fauci, the ongoing voice of doom and despair currently reveling in his fifteen minutes of fame

An alleged expert, Dr Fauci was disastrously wrong about many of his predictions. Now Biden rewarded him as chief medical advisor and that’s a shame

Finally we get to Granny Clampett, a simple woman dedicated to curing peoples’ ills

Having no use for “city doctors” using multiple visits and tests to heal the chills

Not needing money Granny would be open to bartering for her expertise

A shot of her rheumatiz medicine and some homemade tonic were the remedies of choice as she holds no degrees

Of the three choices I’m sticking with Granny as on her approach to healing and her bedside manner I’ve come to rely

Besides I might just get to sit down at the fancy eating table for vittles of buzzard eggs and possum pie

Are There No History Majors In Washington?

Money is power, power is money. The Term Limit poster children had elbowed to the front of the line

Showing complete disdain for the “unified “ voting public they were breathlessly waiting for the Big Guy to resign

By carefully controlling this addlebrained puppet to sign their payola infused executive orders they cemented their place at the trough

Feeling smug in their destruction in all things accomplished in the previous administration they were all linked up to receive their Congressional payoff

History, like Mother Nature, has a way of enlightening the ignorant and righting what is wrong

When people are pushed far enough a line is crossed stating enough’s enough and we’ll not play along

The line is crossed when the elitists figure the public is under their thumb and their word is the golden rule

That uncouth working class then rises up and takes the snobbish aristocrats to hard knocks school

In 1917 Vladimir Lenin led the Bolsheviks in the Russian Revolution and ousted the Czarist government

In 1959 Fidel Castro chased the Cuban Dictator Fulgencio Batista all the way to the Dominican Republic as to the Cuban people this dictator he did not represent

The Tiananmin Square Massacre happened in 1989 as thousands of students gathered to demand democracy, free speech and free press

With brigades of armed soldiers and tanks the Chinese Communist party proceeded to slaughter thousands of it’s own citizens in the name of progress

America is now facing facing similar dilemmas as the Washington ruling class who have NEVER worked for a paycheck are firing workers at will

That pathetic group of protesters that charged the Capitol was just a shot across the bow as the cleansing of Congress will be complete by 2023 and that will be their bitter pill

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