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An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports

Hello, My name is Kevin, and I am the bad poet

Commentary on the world around us in simple Mother Goose type rhymes to be shared among people from all walks of life.  I may be contacted at: Skittyman1@gmail.com  or twitter @KevinSkittyman1.

Featured post

Posing a Real World Question for ChatGPT

The platform ChatGPT is causing real concern among both parents and educators

It seems this artificial intelligence can answer any question in an accurate way thusly requiring rules and regulators

This platform is a far cry from the dreamy answer appearing in the magic 8 ball or stopping on a Ouija board

It would seem if this new intelligence could provide correct answers, the powers that be could be shoved aside and completely ignored

Why have a group of hapless leaders driven only by personal power and greed when the world’s direction could be easily corrected and is only a mouse click away

Let a neutral computer fueled only by digital zeros and ones solve the pressing issues in government today

The border crisis? Simple. Ukraine needs more money? Here’s the alternative. The New Green Deal? Instead of holding citizens hostage, try this.

After the peals of laughter subsides from the computer’s speakers, the simplicity of the given answers would be easy to dismiss

What would happen to the layers of excess government? The experts, the office toadies, and the influence peddlers

And just maybe those much ballyhooed classified documents would find their way into the shredder

The new party game in Washington would be to watch the current world leaders roll around on the floor trying to tear their hands from each other’s pockets

The special red phone in the government Chiropractor’s office would light up to come put shoulders back their sockets

So, with the nuclear clock currently ten seconds from complete annilation, it’s time to ask one simple question

And put on public display when the computer’s screen lights up with the suggestion

When Your Popularity is based on the Price of Eggs

The lowly egg, once vilified as a cholesterol boosting agent is now positioned as the poster child of economic woes

The price of eggs has skyrocketed lately due to various factors that may leave one penniless and the lenders on your property to foreclose

The once cheap source of protein now requires some thought before indulging in your standard breakfast fare

To order that three egg omelet, one must figure that person a millionaire

Perhaps the common egg could now become a form of currency or barter

“Sir that will be 453 eggs to replace that broken starter”

Suddenly the backyard chicken coops become today’s gold mine

The homestead would now the guarded by large snarling dogs and a No Trespassing sign

The homeowner would anxiously wait for cackling hen to announce the arrival of new “cash”

One more egg in the basket to hide in the wall safe along with the rest of the stash

The current administration’s popularity has nose dived recently. Gas prices are bad enough but the price of eggs cannot be blamed on Putin

Shortly when the bored and angry begin to riot, the jewelry and liquor will be left alone and the egg cases in the grocery stores will be the target of looting

When Biden and his gang of thieves decided to give Zelensky a bunch of tanks, maybe the taxpayers, to pay the bill, ought to pony up by the dozen in recyclable cardboard

Since he has bled the average taxpayer dry with his upcharges and hidden taxes, being paid by eggs is all the citizen can afford

Considering a tank costs roughly nine million dollars have the taxpayers ante up 15,517,241 eggs and shells to pay the expense

Let that be payment for escalating an unwinnable conflict and Washington’s lack of commonsense

Why has the NFL become so Lame?

For the last ten weeks the talking heads have babbled on about which team would reach the playoffs

Six or seven old players and coaches assembled every Sunday morning to analyze the matchups and to every statement made another commentator scoffs

As if the world depended on whether a 6-8 team has a chance and what things have to happen for this to fall right

Maybe their expertise allows them to realize most games scheduled are potential stinkers and to stir controversy will get the viewers to tune in tonight

Finally, after long season of increasingly bad officiating and very mediocre coaching schemes, the playoffs were decided

The season’s games had been filled with multiple three and outs, over the hill quarterbacks, and coaches that couldn’t win with what the front office provided

So the wildcard weekend kicked off to seperate the have nots from the truly inept

The games showed the glaring deficiencies in several teams, players, and owners as the season long pretenders weren’t going to win no matter how much they prepped

“Ah,” said the talking heads. “Now comes the real show. The cream always rises”

“No more of the teams that lived off the luck of strange time zone scheduling and questionable call surprises”

The combined power of the talking heads spent hours assuring viewers the upcoming games would be truly epic

To reinforce the idea the networks ran old clips of previous playoff spectacular moments to convince the most jaded skeptic

Eight teams were left, the best of the best. The fans filled the stadiums and viewers arranged their day around the broadcast

In the end four teams remained from the divisional round in which for five of these super teams’ offenses, a score of twenty points was not surpassed

Were the defenses that good played by chest pounding potential free agent multi-millionaires?

The truth is, no one over forty would ever confuse today’s product with the Steel Curtain or Da Bears

Throw in multiple official reviews when everyone watching knew if the original call was correct, five minute commercial breaks, and inane patter from the broadcast team

And the most suspense in one very boring contest was, due to kicking woes, would the coach change horses in midstream

The Championship games will be played with the three top quarterbacks in the league while the rest of the teams will have the offseason to wallow in their futility

As the pompous team owners scream they’ll be back while suffering from illusions of grandeur and advancing senility

In Search of the Thin Skinned Race

The years of study were reaching completion. The tweed clad professor was leading his class of wide-eyed students in search of a lost civilization.

The professor, wishing he could pull off the fedora and whip look, had to settle for elbow patches and bug repellent for this exploration

This group was searching for an extinct, short lived society that had seemingly vanished over the course of fifty years

These people commonly known as the thin skinned had risen up and then disappeared almost as fast due to trying to survive with their liberal arts careers

The study group was transported to a region formerly known as a large urban area rendered uninhabitable years ago

The thin skinned had once thrived in this environment but fears of climate change and the inevitable loss of the power grid had been the final blow

The professor and his students were out to prove that if they could find just one thin skin trapped beneath the rubble of a Starbucks, through cell regeneration they might revive the species

Suddenly a student shouted in jubilation as an intact cadaver was found in the burnt hull of a Mitsubishi

The professor knew that much like a mule this particular group of humans had morphed into androgynous creatures

This find was remarkable in that the body displayed an open mouth from both non-stop yelling and crying, exceptionally thin skin, and various colors in the remaining tufts of hair. This find had all the required features

Unable to procreate this race had rapidly died out or relocated to Canada where unrelenting taxes, rules, regulations and a brutal police state had forced them into being cowardly mindless drones

Soon frozen to death in the harsh winters, DNA replication was impossible as there remained only contaminated unusable dust left from the bones

So this find was doubly important as this once living being was found in a fetal position with its arms cradled around what appeared to be a bankers box

As the body was carefully pried away from the box the words Top Secret were on the side and the box seemed to be full of docs

Ignoring protocol, the professor carefully removed the lid hoping his selfish move would not be something he would come to regret

And there in bold letters next to the Top Secret stencil were instructions to store the box in Biden’s garage behind his Corvette

The Fat Kid Always Played Right Field

Back in the day before the internet became the driving force of today’s health repercussions

The slow fat kid always played right field with the coach hoping the ball didn’t bounce off his head causing concussions

But obesity wasn’t the problem it is today. The steady diet of screen time, soft drinks and pizza rolls has taken its toll

It’s easy to eat when the monotoned educator drones on about an uninteresting subject and the student lost all interest immediately after the teacher took role

Recently the American Academy of Pediatrics released new guidelines for treating childhood obesity advising updated treatments

Included in these listings were new rounds of medications and surgery causing raised eyebrows and parental disagreements

Big Pharma once again is popping the cork on celebratory champagne as many of the drugs mentioned are ongoing and expensive

Insurance may or may not pay the drug costs so throw covered bariatric surgery in the mix and have a medical professional sell the idea should you be apprehensive

There’s nothing like taking a self concious, sensitive kid and putting them through major surgery for a gastric sleeve or a lap band

It’s a quick susceptible solution to a problem when in a fair number of cases the issue could be solved by shutting the door on the over active social media gland

Seattle Public Schools this past week filed a lawsuit against Big Tech for creating a health crisis by creating mental addiction

This is the same type of public system that insisted on face time teaching, covid testing, shots and mask mandates for two years sounding much like a hypocritical contradiction

Public schools have lost a generation of kids. Poorly educated, angry, and not mentally equipped to handle society

Teaching that an individual’s choices will determine their future should become a priority

The fat kid probably didn’t like playing right field during the sixth inning in a lost cause of a game

But he learned at an early age that life is not always fair and participation trophies are meaningless and lame

An Easy Path To Bipartisanship

Much has been made about the lack of bipartisanship in Congress. The Democrats are too liberal and the Republicans all sit to the right of Genghis Kahn

The ability to achieve anything is accomplished only through threat of government shutdown on a conclusion forgone

The hand wringing is only getting worse as those elected want to control all the balls in their sandbox

Control the box, enrich yourself with pet projects, pork for the large donors, and insider trading upgrading your portfolio of stocks

No one reaches across the aisle, offers a workable solution, or considers the voters

This selfishness has only created chaos at the southern border, the murder of thousands of Ukrainian and Russian soldiers and the blowing of Taps for gasoline motors

However, there exists a pathway to this elusive bipartisanship. It’s simply called shoot a liar

The rules are clear cut. Take any official regardless of party affiliation, caught in a provable lie and throw their name in a rotating bingo cage. Once a year draw a name, stand that person in front of a firing squad and open fire

The day that miscreant is called would be tax day and a homeless vet gets to draw the name

When the person is notified they’re included in the cage they’ll be given a chance to come clean or deny the blame

The name then stays in the cage until their name is drawn, or they “fess up,” resign and disappear

So round and round the cage goes and whose name is drawn nobody knows creating huge Vegas betting odds and loser tears

Once a name is drawn it’s too late. There is no jury trial just a videotape of the proven lie

Then a quick march over to the execution wall as that person chose deceit and greed over truth and its now time to die

Like rats leaving a sinking ship, Washington’s swamp would in no time resemble a ghost town

As both politicians and various influencers climb over each other’s backs before they’re lying at the base of the wall facedown

Those left would strive to work together as America was founded on truth, compromise and individual rights

The day of the lie would be over, Congress would quickly learn to work together and that is what unites

Trying To Put 2022 In The Rearview Mirror

The citizen had picked up speed and rounded the corner trying to leave 2022 behind

Normally the thought of a new year offered a ray of hope, but this one promises the same grind

Sadly this new year looks much the same as the images rapidly fading in the rear view mirror

The people running the show are the same group that most are familiar with only now appear queerer

The head man in charge now is stating he is extending his hand to work with the parties on both sides of the aisle

By kissing up to the RINOS he’s hoping to avoid an embarrassing explanation of payola, influence peddling, and selling out America during his son’s trial

This miscreant has already accomplished most of his desired goals since he took office

He’s thrown the border open, forced America into a recession, and turned the cities over to the lawless

He can resume his free spending of taxpayer money in Ukraine so his democratic kickback continues to roll in

While ignoring America’s pleas for the hungry, homeless and the unemployed much to the population’s chagrin

Looking forward to 2023 he knows to keep his job he has to throw his pathetic hand-picked Vice President under the bus

Hopefully by ditching this glaring mistake, America will feel better about a new running mate that clearly doesn’t disgust

He continues to rule from his throne as he desires to be a part-time king four days a week

The other three days he can hide on the beach disguising the fact he is truly an antique

Looking forward through the windshield the landscape looks noticeably similar, driving faster may only net a speeding ticket and increased insurance rates

The gloomy future continues to raise its ugly head without much hope on the horizon for these United States

Merry Christmas Taxpayers, Here’s A 1.7 Trillion Debt Just For You

In 1869 Leo Tolstoy published the first complete edition of “War and Peace.” At 1225 pages the novel is reasoned to be a very long read.

It’s been estimated the average person would take 32 hours to finish causing many a literary student’s eyes to bleed

Considered by many to be one of the finest novels ever written, one doesn’t sit down and expect to complete the reading in a couple of days

At close to 4200 pages the new Omnibus spending bill is over three time longer than “War and Peace”and presented to Congress with only three days to read and appraise

In the movie All The Presidents Men, the deep throat character advised the reporter, “these are not very bright guys.” The same holds true for this group of lawmakers

Because most have to use their fingers and move their lips when reading, interns are hired to read the legislation and break down the language for these so called movers and shakers

The current Omnibus Spending Bill cements their place at the public trough for next year’s Congressional session

Ensuring the taxpayers’ great grandkids a Christmas present of untold debt and freedom supression

What’s another trillion among friends? Belly up to the bar with your list of pork demands

Bring in an outsider in a t-shirt to tell Americans they haven’t paid enough for his failings as he parades around playing to the grandstands

Pay federal lawyers a couple of billion to continue their paper trail for the January 6th Kabuki play

But don’t give a dime to the southern border as the migrant surge continues to feast on taxpayers seemingly unending buffet

I often think how unfairly lifes good fortune is sometimes distributed” laments Leo Tolstoy in “War and Peace”

The quote still holds true 150 years later as Congress continues to greedily slurp the gravy at the public trough and the taxpayers they continue to fleece

So amid the shouts of joy from the great grandchildren on Christmas morning will be the biggest present of all unseen under the tree

The bill for 1.7 trillion and all the future bleakness and tragedies happily passed along by the current powers that be

A New World Order Christmas

Mandatory overtime had been issued for the last ninety days. The elves were not in their usual joyous mood.

Santa was using his whip on those he considered shirkers as he resorted to constantly cursing and appeared unglued

He was living with new work orders that had been issued by the high command that threatened him with immediate dismissal

It seems that the standard toys such as dolls and video games had been replaced with New Green Deal themed gifts causing the hair on Santa’s neck to bristle

Here it was just before the annual nighttime sleigh ride and he was still scrounging favors from his suppliers to put his list together

His elf packers were frantically loading the sleigh with their hastily drawn plan-o-grams while Santa was grumbling about the approaching weather

“Climate change, my fat ass,” he thought as pulled on his thermal underwear and specially insulated gloves

He already knew he’d be spending this entire Christmas Eve leaving presents behind that no kid loves

Big on his list were mantle display jars so progressive parents could proudly exhibit little Billy’s testicles as mommy and daddy decided to go with the gender-less fad

Santa was also perplexed with the number of requests for the Trump digital trading cards as he studied his list on his I-pad

It seems that Trump in a Superman suit was gaining on the demands for a look alike Zelensky green t-shirt

Security cameras and alarm systems were loaded on the sleigh in an attempt to keep the huge influx of migrants out of people’s homes as the unabated surge continues from the southern desert

The list also highlighted the most requested stocking stuffer as being air freshener and shoe cleaner to help with the odor of having to step through the homeless human waste left on the steps of the office entryway

“It’s gonna be a weird Christmas,” thought Santa as he was checking his orders against what was loaded on his sleigh

“I just hope we don’t get chopped to bits by some spinning windmill that is hard to see in the dark”

Hoping that this year’s “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night,” wouldn’t be his last remark

Great Stocking Stuffer Idea: Turkey Jerky

The USDA defines jerky as a “dense meat that has been made lightweight by drying”

It seems with the new Congress there will be 19 members that are 80 and up. That’s a lot of adult diapers the taxpayers will be supplying

The USDA also states that jerky is shelf stable and requires no refrigeration

The only item required by these geriatric members is a constant donation

They’ve been around for years. But one has to question, why are they still there?

They’ve all grown richer at your expense but don’t expect help from them in your region as that’s your own cross to bear

They keep getting voted in because you as a voter recognize their name, and they’ve done nothing to put themselves in the electors’ crosshairs

If they can lie low long enough thanks to their free healthcare, they can continue to sop up the gravy and become multi-millionaires

It doesn’t matter one bit about party affiliation, they’re very comfortable with their lot in life

Flying in above the electorate, one shouldn’t miss the welcoming luncheon, while all the poor folk struggle with their daily strife

Democrat or Republican, the geezers are in. They may not like the majority policies but kay sera sera, whatever will be will be

So please pass the lobster and champagne as all is good. Just don’t try to redistrict their area or you’ll hear them scream like a banshee

So here’s to your longevity and compassion. I sincerely believe the signed message just above your request for another donation

Though you’ve represented my region for seven terms, I know you’ve never visited this location

It’s long pastime for term limits on both houses and an age limit for the candidates and elected members

Before the entire congress has the memory of their own “big guy” who would call you by name if he only remembers

Another Blue March Through Georgia

Once again another blue march swept across the State of Georgia. It had been 158 years since Sherman cut his path of destruction

That march was Washington’s attempt to put down the rebel uprising and throw the south into 100 years of reconstruction

This time the march was in response to Ex-President Trump’s failure to acknowledge all that glitters is not gold

Mounting his podium at one of his rallies he revels in the adoration of the crowd, truly a sight to behold

He figures just by pointing a finger and blessing a future candidate with typical Trump arrogance, that candidate will roll to victory

Should the candidate stumble and lose the election Trump gets before the microphone and states the opposition won by pure trickery

Trump has been a plague to Georgia’s republicans. He rode in on a white horse and blessed a then unknown Brian Kemp in the Governor’s race

Kemp managed to turn back a strong push by Stacy Abrams but then shot himself in the foot by appointing Kelly Loffler to a vacant Senate seat who was a hapless political disgrace

She was so bad at her job she cost the other Georgia Senator his seat just by association

Seizing the opportunity, the democrats poured money into the state promoting racial predjudice with every absentee ballot claiming a second coming of southern confederation

Forget about inflation, immigration, or rising crime. The two blue Senators have now claimed their place at the public trough and are poised to rubber stamp Biden’s grand schemes

This blue march wasn’t about a rebel uprising. It was all about ingrained ignorance, power, money, greed and squashing individual freedoms and American dreams

So thank you Mr Trump. Please stay out of states that might have a chance to fend off a socialist wave

Grab a wedge and work on your short game before turning republicans in another state into an underfunded freedom seeking enclave

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