“Girls we simply must do something,” stated Deb Les. “This new Title IX is stealing our thunder”

The group of drag queens were assembled at the pre-show table wondering if this administration had created yet another blunder

Looking around the group of partially made-up queens Deb Les asked almost rhetorically, “Any suggestions?”

All heads turned away as none of the six had an answer for any questions

Finally, Rhoda Big spoke. “You know with this new ruling we’re losing a great deal of drag queen shock”

“Normally we just had to turn on the lights and to our revue people would flock”

“Now the press has stopped coming and even our story time at the library has become a show for the same kids and moms”

“For the longest time no one has threatened us with beatings, shootings or bombs”

One could hear a pin drop after that statement as it was obvious the queens needed a plan

“We need something sooner than later,” said Sally Tight Pants. “Otherwise I’ll have to go back to just being a man”

“Oh my, yes dear,” piped up Holly Hot Pepper. “I’d hate the idea of nothing to look forward to after a hectic week of being a DMV clerk”

“And missing the roar of the crowd after ending my routine with a 30-second rapid fire twerk”

“Anyone can now walk into any locker room they want to watch a woman shower”

“It takes the jolt out of my routine by flashing a tiny bit of my flower”

“The mystery is gone when it’s open season on restrooms, locker rooms, and dressing rooms for anyone to see”

“People would stop coming or caring for that matter and this I guarantee”

“I wanted to get your thoughts about this situation with the new ruling,” said Deb Les. “Believe me when I say I don’t want to be remembered as only a fourth grade teacher”

“So what we’ll do is come up with an entirely new act with our athletic prowess being the main feature

“We’ll contact the other queens and form a basketball dunk league and to make it special the uniforms will be our own costumes”

“And the winners will receive a rhinestone tiara and specially colored ostrich plumes”

“Points will be awarded for speed, dance moves and dunking style”

“And at the end of the season a Grand Queen will be announced from the points they will compile”

“The sports betting companies will have to get involved with all the action”

Then television, action figures, and commercial endorsements should all fall into place to everyone’s satisfaction”

“So girls lets all go home and lace up those high heeled sneakers”

“And hear our name blasted through the arena’s twenty foot speakers”