An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports


November 2020

Get That Damn Turkey Outta Here

The noise from the barn yard continued as this swaggering bird was not going quietly into the night

He was fighting every request to concede and be cooked because that is his right

This bird had a hard few years, abused by a large drove before finally being cornered and plucked

His many attempts at barnyard growth were pushed aside by swine whose sole purpose was to obstruct

The hogs only concerned themselves with being first at the trough

“No one else mattered except us elite pigs,” they would scoff

“This turkey wandered into our private feed lot and tried to make life easier for the working class animals”

Once proud to pull their weight the livestock had been reduced to peering through the fence panels

This porcine group had no use for this self proclaimed cock of the walk

”He’s a buffoon, not one of us,” But the livestock followed and that caused a shock

Old videos were circulated about this bird chasing other hens

“His constant crowing is disturbing and from our yard we must cleanse”

“He’s a deplorable and a misogynist.” Claimed one of the loudest and still bitter sow

Failing to realize that the rest of the farm knew she should have hoed her own row

“He’s xenophobic,” called the elitists peering from the loft filled with sweet green hay

The bird was only saying when rats are allowed to invade the barn there aren’t enough enforcement cats to keep them at bay

Now using the current spread of hoof and mouth disease the elite swine blamed it all on this bombastic bird

Hiding behind the murky updates from Snow White and the dwarf they forced their propaganda on the herd

So it’s come to this, the turkey had lost his fight and was to be served on a platter

The proud barnyard livestock will once again be tossed scraps while the big pigs only get fatter

The Newly Blend Game

Cue the trumpets and let the Bridal March commence, it’s time again for the Newly Blend Game.

In this special edition we’re going to feature one special couple we’ll refer to as the geezer and the dame

The now politically correct lesbian host, Roberta beaming with pride introduced the two contestants as as Jojo and Kayla.

And went on to explain because of the importance of this new “it” couple the audience was hand picked to attend this gala

The other two couples will only be referred to as the right leaning American public and the Constitution

Also the host added that the selection panel didn’t have any hope for the second and third couple and is anticipating dissolution

So with the partners secluded backstage in a soundproof room the questions began

“Question number one, Kayla what would you say is your partners favorite breakfast?” “Oh golly, Jojo’s such a foodie but I’ll have to go with Ensure and and Raisin Bran”

“What about us?” asked contestants number two and three.

“We’re sorry, but you’ll have to speak only when spoken too,” stated the emcee

“Question number two, Kayla what did you say to Jojo on your first meeting?’

Well Roberta, the first time we met we were in front of a large audience and he was a candidate I planned on defeating

So I told him a story of a little girl on a school bus and informed him he believed in segregation.”

‘Okay Kayla, sounds like you had that story at the ready and turned it into a rather harsh recrimination”

“Finally Kayla, what would you say was the most unusual place you ever made whoopie?’

Easy one Roberta, we never made whoopie but I did let him smell the hair of a twelve year daughter of a democratic groupie.”

“Thank you Kayla and we’ll be right back to see how your partner answers right after this station break”

“Welcome back contestants, now is time to see how well you know your partner and it’s nice to see Jojo awake”

“Okay first question, what would your partner say when asked upon awakening what do you like to eat?”

Well depending on the time of day I like to eat applesauce and cream of wheat.’

“Your partner said you like to have Ensure and Raisin Bran,” stated Roberta as the wrong answer horn blared

“That’s okay Jojo we’ll call it correct, allowances are made as integrity doesn’t matter and you may be impaired”

“Question number two, what did your partner say to you the first time you met?”

I remember that one Roberta, she called me a segregationist and after being hounded by one reporter that description I’ve come to regret”

“I see Jojo, Finally what did your partner say when asked what was the most unusual place you ever made whoopie?”

Well Roberta I have no answer for that as we’ve never done it because I’ve become pretty droopy”

“Wow couple number one you’ve just won the grand prize. Johnny tell ’em what they’ve won”

“Yes couple number one you’ll be living the life of luxury when you embark on an all expense taxpayer paid trip to your private domain as multitudes bought your con”

“And contestants number two and three you’ve won the consolation prize”

“You get to sit back and watch society and the Americans’ dreams demise”

Battleground States: The Must Have Christmas Board Game

Feeling left out that you didn’t get to participate by voting multiple times in in a Battleground State?

Think about how much better you’ll feel when under the tree is the brand new board game that gives you the opportunity for an election system to desecrate

This game is designed to give the players the thrilling feeling of rigging an election

The directions are easy, anyone can play and cheating is encouraged as there will be no neutral inspection

Any number of players can play and each is dealt ten illegal ballots and one software glitch

Also a stack of cards are placed upside down in the center of the board to help the chosen candidate’s election go without a hitch

These cards are to be drawn every time the opposing candidate’s numbers begin to surge

For instance one card gives the media favored candidate the right for an opposition ballot purge

Another card changes the long standing rule when mail in ballots may be received

This is called a super card that virtually guarantees victory as the player drawing this can ignore state legislatures and set his own rules leaving the opposition feeling deceived

Other cards include poll workers being able to trash ballots, postal workers authorized to back date ballots and of course a list of citizens long since dead

Imagine the joy on the face of your great great great grandfather when into the ballot box his name is fed

Oh yes, the fun goes on non-stop until someone draws the card that says the news media can call a winner

Also included is a template so you can produce as many ballots as needed on your own printer

So why miss out on the fun? Put this game on your Christmas list

Because now it’s only a matter of time before Christmas will be ordered to cease and desist.

Arizona Called Early? Blame It On Homer

A little to the right, uh uh, move the foil, hold it right there, that’s good
It was time for The Simpsons and the rabbit ears needed adjusting to receive the best picture you could

A few years ago Fox Network was a second tier channel but did feature a couple of lovable losers Homer and Al Bundy
Viewers related to to these two stumbling through life like everyday was a Monday

But the Fox executives wanted more, they realized with the right programs they could have a big time organization
In order to pull in large blocs of viewers showing sports was their rationalization

It was then Fox threw tons of money to buy the rights to NFL broadcasts complete with fancy graphics and bantering talking heads
Also jumping on baseball and car racing and for another group of lovable losers, advising point spreads

Realizing the bar didn’t need to be set too high to attract American viewers, Fox just needed to fill a void
Looking around the executives realized that conservatives were shut out of all newscasts they had previously enjoyed

Fox News was created to attract the traditional watcher and fill in that vacant time slot
And soon disillusioned viewers from other networks were tuning in and Fox had another jackpot

In this progressive world the conservative perspective will not last long. The broadcasters might sing one song but behind the scenes another is being sung
The filthy rich owner’s newly woke children now can isolate from the working class and control conservatives from the top rung

So when Fox News calls Arizona early in the evening, very simply one can blame Homer
Because calling Fox network a conservative channel would be a misnomer

It should then come as no surprise during Fox’s mindless hit show The Masked Singer even though it’s not your cup of tea
‘When the person wearing the giant fish head is revealed it might just be Chairman Xi.

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