Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I only knew you as good
Your label meant quality only now misunderstood
Those easily offended decided your image needed to be removed
A corporate decision to ingratiate your product in the black community and race relations are improved
Your icon a while back by a board room decision had been modernized
Your now dark skinned June Cleaver depiction again needs changing as self righteous indignation has the nation paralyzed
So we’ll package your superior quality and once proud product under a different label
Just so we can serve the same ingredients on the breakfast table
So when the new sterile packaging is complete
Your next step will be to take care of the chef on Cream of Wheat
And in the end when the expense of repackaging and distribution it will require
The tremendous cost will be passed on to the cost conscious food buyer
It won’t stop here product names will continually change lest a group be offended
Spineless corporations will inevitability bow to vocal groups as reality is suspended
Gone is Mia, the Land of Lakes maiden. “She was representing sex trafficking,” the offended would boast
That’s exactly what I thought of as I spread that delicious goodness on my toast
Next in line is that summer treat Eskimo Pie
Another example of good intentions gone awry
Most are not really sure how an ice cream on a stick can be that defamatory
However in certain circles the term Eskimo refers to raw meat eaters and that is considered inflammatory
And so it goes, pick a product and someone will be upset
Familiar product names will change over night due to some group’s threat
After brand names, will the outspoken groups go after produce?
There will be no stopping now, all will change, it’s easy to deduce
Grocers will be cautious of profiling not wanting to imply the black race could be associated with the term watermelon
So be prepared for the produce aisles to be advertising specials on aqua fruit before there’s a rebellion
An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry 