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March 2021

It takes a Clinton or a Biden to build a Trump

In early summer of 2015 a developer and TV personality descended the elevator

To make the announcement he intends to become the United States Chief Administrator

He was there to challenge the Washington career do nothing politicians

Washington was a good ole boys club whose entrance required passing the me first auditions

Trump’s primary challengers were the same tired names and faces that had been feeding from the public trough for years

Fueled by payoffs from lobbyists and foreign investments under a politician’s disguise when really they all belonged to the Fraternal Order of Racketeers

The Republicans itching for a change from another defeat by Obama democrats appointed Trump to lead the attack

And the fact Obama’s highly unlikable personal puppet was the democratic opposition is the straw that broke the camel’s back

It took a Clinton to put Trump into office as a decent democratic candidate would have won in a walk

While Trump won his states, Washington, the democrats and the press stood by too dumbfounded to squawk

So for four years the cretins from big tech, the press, and various government agencies mounted an unrelenting mud slinging campaign

The daily socialist racist rhetoric from big tech and the press became the recurring refrain

The bullying campaign eventually proved too much for the thin skinned obsessive Trump

A second term became unobtainable when bombastic tweets, unfavorable children and questionable election results couldn’t put Trump over the hump

Hopefully the Biden administration will create another republican capable of defeating this socialist nonsense

And give the boot to this pack of American haters hiding behind the “we’re for all the people” pretense

The Washington puppet master achieved his goal as the country is now only baby steps away from a uni government with one supreme ruler

Perhaps the country can survive another two years, if not we’ll be bowing to a communist agenda and nothing could be crueler

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U Bee Racist

Racist, the word has spread across the US like kudzu over Georgia fields

When talking points are to be ended in any discussion one word stops all intelligent thought on all ideas that debate yields

In a world where any slight is considered a heinous crime canceling all reason is the new game

Any subject brought up in discussion will predictably fire up someone seeking their 15 minutes of fame

Whether a network, an organization or an individual the race card will be played

A talking head will invariably assume the cause and for the kowtowing media deliver a five minute tirade

The racist agenda is set to take on all comers in it’s quest to smother free speech

Math, movies, proper names, the Constitution, pick any subject and it’s not out of reach

What follows are a few examples of the idiocy failing to pass today’s woke culture

As they sit on their unhappy miserable perch waiting to pounce on any topic like a starving vulture

Voter ID Laws: These are considered racist as it appears to the democrats that people of color are too inept to apply for a driver’s license

It seems to them that minorities are only capable of music, sports and BLM violence

Babies: Infants are now considered racist as they seem to identify most with the faces that peer into their stroller

That is of course if you swallow the latest gibberish from some biased media paid pollster

Dr Seuss, Dumbo, Star Wars: Most mainstream entertainment is now racist as fictional characters in a fictional story from years ago might offend

Because an oriental using chopsticks, wise cracking crows and characters in black and white costumes can cause liberals’ hair to stand on end

Anything Political: Unless the proposed legislation buys into the the 3rd world socialistic goals, a ranking democrat will automatically pull the R-card

And because they know their policies are asinine, cower behind their walls, fences and the National Guard

White People: That race is born, will live and die a stone cold racist as indicated by the Biden people since his campaign promise of moderation and message of unity and good will

So Congress, continue to call for reparations, free money and the portrayal of minorities as the victims. In the meantime start a campaign to repay the families of those who died in the squalor and horror that was Andersonville

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The Yellow Expedient Opportunist

Merriam-Webster describes Expedient “usually implies what is immediately advantageous without regard for ethics or consistent principles”

The Free Dictionary describes Opportunist “one who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve an end, often with no regard for principles or consequences”

As redundant as this title sounds any number of like adjectives may be applied to the man currently masquerading as the Commander In Chief

As he shuffles through his daily routine issuing paranoid mandates and destroying America while the nation watches in disbelief

Back in the old days when a man was labeled yellow he was considered a coward

Curiously the man in the White House made a career of standing in the shadows but the voters left him feeling empowered

Apparently America didn’t realize that on the man they pinned their hopes and dreams was constructed of Jello

And failed to notice as he emerged from his basement on his back was a streak in a bright shade of yellow

Consider for a moment that he hid for most of his alleged campaign and rarely showed his face

And when he did, he only read teleprompter feeds, yet the strategy seemingly worked in the electoral race

The fact he rarely shows should not be a surprise as he spent eight years peeking from behind his Boss’s pants

Only nodding along or parroting to the press the emptiness of one of Obama’s America last rants

Currently not taking questions or appearing before Congress to ease the concerns of the nation’s population

Calling anyone in disagreement a racist for questioning his horribly failed policy on immigration

Hiding behind executive orders and a Chatty Cathy press secretary trained in the art of double talk

He is in and out of appearances tossing wise cracks over his shoulder giving the nation at his yellow stripe a chance to gawk

This man and his cohorts demonstrate daily their hatred for America and her can do attitude

And to the hard working people that had voted for him in the past, he shows no gratitude

He won’t be remembered as a Nathan Hale. His only regret will be he couldn’t stomp on more American lives

Keeping his tax heavy agenda and his socialistic cronies in power is all that matters regardless of the citizens’ future his order deprives

He’ll have to live out his days content in the knowledge his cowardice kept him from standing for American ideals

And to the grandchildren growing up under his spending and rules he’ll be remembered as the yellow pirate as their paycheck will be one of his steals

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Keeping The Covid Current

The dim glow of the lamp illuminated the people seated around the table and the strain on their faces

It seems some of the mandates were being ignored and yet there was a drop in new covid cases

The old crone was wildly gesturing with her hands in a willy nilly fashion

Her mask billowing from her botox features emphasizing her anger and misdirected passion

“Just who does Texas and and Florida think they are?” she screeched

“They are ignoring our hourly CDC press releases. We need to have those neanderthal governors impeached’

“Relax Nana,” said the oily guy with the half glasses. “We’re heading this disobedience off before the rest of the nation realizes we’re on a mission from Mao”

‘We’re letting the border situation take take care of Texas. The onslaught of covid carrying illegals will be our sacred cow”

“Since we’re busing these people everywhere when new virus outbreaks pop up we can order more shut downs”

“Hopefully the same will happen in Florida with the maskless spring breakers. They’ll travel back home and spread the virus all over their towns”

Suddenly the mood in the room brightened. A warm glow showed on all in attendance

They realized that wonderful pandemic was keeping their electorate from thinking independence

The group then relaxed and sat back dreamily eyeing their blue state payoffs and newly acquired riches

Secure in knowing that by creating an occasional crisis and then throwing the gullible public a bone, they can continue to treat all citizens as their little bitches

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Through The Looking Glass

The man peered through the mirror and what he saw left him floored

Right across the pond another leader struggled with similar life travails and the relentless press he abhorred

It seems the next in line to the British throne had been waiting for ascension for more than two decades

Relegated to meaningless Royal functions and marionette waves from the carriage in celebratory parades

Like this newly minted leader who had been lingering 47 years to assume command

This Prince understood what it is to watch his kingdom be ruled by another firsthand

Surprised by the similarities the mirror reflected, the new leader managed a feeble smile

Because in the public life you so vigorously sought every remark can become a civil trial

It seems early in their careers both men’s first wife became a tragic car accident fatality

Both became high profile widowers trying to raise two sons subject to the prying presses’ impersonality

They remarried, one to a political junkie and one to a former sweetheart

And since their much publicized romance and wedding they haven’t been apart

The sons all took different paths in hiding their grief from the tabloid’s eyes and becoming an adult

Two accepted the straight and narrow to maturity while the other two proved more difficult

The firstborn assumed the more traditional high profile duties, while a wilder life the younger two chose

While one snorted drugs with his silver spoon, the other was led around by the ring in his nose

It’s pretty obvious the new leader and the one on hold are still waiting to be completely accepted by their respective nation

The mirror doesn’t lie whether looking into or through the glass it’s remarkable that somewhere out there exists duplication

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Horton Hears A Commie

The speck of dust floated past as Horton cooled in his pool

Tiny voices were screaming obscenities from the dust to cancel books from their preschool

Horton’s big heart was saddened as he was sure the Sneetches were behind all this fuss

These Sneetches appointed themselves as knowing what’s best for everyone and that is what really disgusts

They felt chosen as they alone had the ear of their new puppet leader who hides in his basement

The Sneetches knew they had to cancel everything they didn’t like before this stammering ruler needs a replacement

Horton was just not sure what to do about this new group of angry Sneetches

They all felt they had the right to dictate everyone’s thoughts as they lived behind their walls on their private beaches

The old Sneetches had a star on them that once removed they all became decent creatures

But this new group had no stars just an angry attitude, an ignorant philosophy and yet appointed themselves as omnipotent teachers

“These books are bad,” they screamed. “We reserve the right to cancel any thought outside of ours”

The Sneetches now masquerade as normal people as they don’t have any identifying stars

Horton has heard what happens when books are banned

Little creatures are squashed as an elite few become rulers of the land

“The more you read, the more things you will know

The more that you learn, the more places you will go”

Horton knew that from books he had read

So he thought hard what to do with that dust speck before his nation was mislead

Suddenly a great idea came to him before the whole country was exposed to this disgrace

He sucked that dust particle into his trunk and with all his might blew that speck into outer space

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New Guidelines for the Chinese Drive Thru Anal Test Sites

Breaking news as we go to press, the Chinese Disease Control or CDC has issued the following release

Masks must worn in public at all times or risk arrest by the police

The release also stated there is no time limit set as to when the mask mandate will expire

However there are instances when more than one mask will be required

The Chinese seemed particularly concerned about the drive thru anal swab testing sites

The anal swab team has been issued specific guidelines to follow with each car to not violate the citizens’ rights

The tester must remain respectful at all times regardless of the size of the tush hanging out the window

The tester must be willing to assist those having their keister wedged in the window opening of a Ford Pinto

The area to be swabbed must be thoroughly cleaned before proceeding to the next step

A pressure wash machine is available for extreme cases but the cleansing is usually accomplished with an alcohol prep

The tester will always be double gloved with the first glove replaced after every test

That glove is then cleaned, sanitized and by an apprentice blown into checking for leaks to be ready for the next guest

The visitor will always indicate what they had for dinner the previous night

As that reveals to the tester how many masks they need to wear to remain conscious and upright

Though three masks are the maximum the CDC allows most testers have a few extras in their backpack

Because after an all you can eat dinner of fish paste and General Tso’s Spicy Chicken three masks are not enough to approach that crack

And in the case of the notorious Wo Big Fat whose rear oozes out the window and covers the door knob

The tester drawing the short straw will need a fourth mask and a much larger swab

Hopefully by understanding these guidelines one can hang their butt out the window with assurance

That the testing will be professional, mostly painless and covered by your insurance

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