Mandatory overtime had been issued for the last ninety days. The elves were not in their usual joyous mood.

Santa was using his whip on those he considered shirkers as he resorted to constantly cursing and appeared unglued

He was living with new work orders that had been issued by the high command that threatened him with immediate dismissal

It seems that the standard toys such as dolls and video games had been replaced with New Green Deal themed gifts causing the hair on Santa’s neck to bristle

Here it was just before the annual nighttime sleigh ride and he was still scrounging favors from his suppliers to put his list together

His elf packers were frantically loading the sleigh with their hastily drawn plan-o-grams while Santa was grumbling about the approaching weather

“Climate change, my fat ass,” he thought as pulled on his thermal underwear and specially insulated gloves

He already knew he’d be spending this entire Christmas Eve leaving presents behind that no kid loves

Big on his list were mantle display jars so progressive parents could proudly exhibit little Billy’s testicles as mommy and daddy decided to go with the gender-less fad

Santa was also perplexed with the number of requests for the Trump digital trading cards as he studied his list on his I-pad

It seems that Trump in a Superman suit was gaining on the demands for a look alike Zelensky green t-shirt

Security cameras and alarm systems were loaded on the sleigh in an attempt to keep the huge influx of migrants out of people’s homes as the unabated surge continues from the southern desert

The list also highlighted the most requested stocking stuffer as being air freshener and shoe cleaner to help with the odor of having to step through the homeless human waste left on the steps of the office entryway

“It’s gonna be a weird Christmas,” thought Santa as he was checking his orders against what was loaded on his sleigh

“I just hope we don’t get chopped to bits by some spinning windmill that is hard to see in the dark”

Hoping that this year’s “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night,” wouldn’t be his last remark