Pfssst, the cloud of abdominal discharge filled the air with the familiar stench

A new unsubstantiated rumor was afloat so dizzy reporters cued the cameras and held microphones in a tight fisted clench

The haze of gas enveloped all and consumed these reporters with eager anticipation

This is it! With no sources named as it matters not, we can end 3½ years of frustration

The love pheromones had their antennae frantically waving with the idea of a six o’clock news scoop

We can ruin the conservatives with this new report both on the news and social media with one fell swoop

The noxious odor grew stronger as the tech giants joined in the fray

Another chance to mislead the gullible public they thought while sucking in another lung full of spray

The stink bugs spreading their gas caused their congregation to grow at an astounding rate

Right or wrong this is our story and we’ll report it 24/7 and leave it to them to negate

The bugs got so excited they began to touch antennas together in a show of unity

This action caused all their abdomens to vibrate as they couldn’t pass on the opportunity

Soon a stink bug love fest broke out with all the insects eager players

Only stopping to catch their breath they simultaneously exclaimed, “that ought to fix you deplorable taxpayers”

“We’ve had an impeachment attempt, Russian collusion and a Supreme Court nomination all blow up in our face”

“But this new cloud of gas ought to put us back in charge and leading the race”

So as the boundary between the bug orgy and commonsense widens

One can see familiar faces at the bottom of the throbbing pile, a species scientifically known as Picromerus bidens