Good morning and welcome aboard Third World Airlines based in Washington DC

We are pleased to announce that we have a very diverse group with us today including covid carrying illegal immigrants, two Texas democrats and an Afghan refugee

Because of our air filtration we have tried to consolidate the wheezing and coughing passengers to the back of the plane

We have removed all weapons from the known MS-13 members and have many rolls of duct tape should we need to restrain

We also have a special welcome to the Afghan woman on board and are truly sorry for all your sisters who have died

While watching the years of America’s blood, tears, money and Afghanistan’s capitols being swept away like sand castles at high tide

Upon reaching cruising altitude the flight attendants will pass through the cabin with a beverage cart, please try to have the correct change

Due to inflation the cost of a soft drink is now thirty dollars and we do have financing available should you need to arrange

For another fifty dollars you may purchase a set of headphones to view the in-flight movie

Today’s feature stars that wacky Hunter Biden in various stages of drunkenness, nakedness, espionage selling and all things he considers fu**ing groovy

In the event of an emergency, oxygen masks will drop from an above compartment. Place this mask over your existing face covering, put your head between your knees and brace for impact

This is important, should you live through the crash and you’re not double masked you will be arrested and that’s a fact

We would like to thank you for choosing Third World Airlines while trying to ignore America’s plight

So sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight