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An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports

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covid

When They Finally Return Will They Be Worth a Damn?

The question startled her. She’d been focused on her phone and Facebook

She’d completely missed the inquiry hoping the computer’s camera didn’t capture her dirty look

She’d grown accustomed to four hours repetition of hum drum Zoom lessons to a distracted group of students

All the while texting and giggling to fellow educators the fact that some of her pupils closely resembled teenaged mutants

Her county’s schools had been shut down for over a year though strange at first now this part time job at full time pay was a breeze

The Teachers Union was adamant, no one will return as long as they can hide behind the disease

But a new order was issued, teachers were to return to the classroom for one day a week.

Originally thinking the Zoom thing would never work, soon one realized they could haphazardly prepare for this new technique

Perhaps we can hide behind the Teachers Union demanding prior to returning all have the covid shot

As it seems between Biden’s promise and those annoying parents the whole world has their panties in a knot

The parents can be the worst, having to answer questions about goals and agenda when we all know they’re using us a babysitters

Besides no one misses lunch room duty, bus patrol, or time expended on school events, recent memories all causing jitters

The reality of returning to the classroom, the daily commute or just putting up with the kids trying to teach subjects that you’ll need to reintroduce

It may seem easy to the outsiders but to teachers now used to ducking out early this can only be considered abuse

Keeping The Covid Current

The dim glow of the lamp illuminated the people seated around the table and the strain on their faces

It seems some of the mandates were being ignored and yet there was a drop in new covid cases

The old crone was wildly gesturing with her hands in a willy nilly fashion

Her mask billowing from her botox features emphasizing her anger and misdirected passion

“Just who does Texas and and Florida think they are?” she screeched

“They are ignoring our hourly CDC press releases. We need to have those neanderthal governors impeached’

“Relax Nana,” said the oily guy with the half glasses. “We’re heading this disobedience off before the rest of the nation realizes we’re on a mission from Mao”

‘We’re letting the border situation take take care of Texas. The onslaught of covid carrying illegals will be our sacred cow”

“Since we’re busing these people everywhere when new virus outbreaks pop up we can order more shut downs”

“Hopefully the same will happen in Florida with the maskless spring breakers. They’ll travel back home and spread the virus all over their towns”

Suddenly the mood in the room brightened. A warm glow showed on all in attendance

They realized that wonderful pandemic was keeping their electorate from thinking independence

The group then relaxed and sat back dreamily eyeing their blue state payoffs and newly acquired riches

Secure in knowing that by creating an occasional crisis and then throwing the gullible public a bone, they can continue to treat all citizens as their little bitches

New Guidelines for the Chinese Drive Thru Anal Test Sites

Breaking news as we go to press, the Chinese Disease Control or CDC has issued the following release

Masks must worn in public at all times or risk arrest by the police

The release also stated there is no time limit set as to when the mask mandate will expire

However there are instances when more than one mask will be required

The Chinese seemed particularly concerned about the drive thru anal swab testing sites

The anal swab team has been issued specific guidelines to follow with each car to not violate the citizens’ rights

The tester must remain respectful at all times regardless of the size of the tush hanging out the window

The tester must be willing to assist those having their keister wedged in the window opening of a Ford Pinto

The area to be swabbed must be thoroughly cleaned before proceeding to the next step

A pressure wash machine is available for extreme cases but the cleansing is usually accomplished with an alcohol prep

The tester will always be double gloved with the first glove replaced after every test

That glove is then cleaned, sanitized and by an apprentice blown into checking for leaks to be ready for the next guest

The visitor will always indicate what they had for dinner the previous night

As that reveals to the tester how many masks they need to wear to remain conscious and upright

Though three masks are the maximum the CDC allows most testers have a few extras in their backpack

Because after an all you can eat dinner of fish paste and General Tso’s Spicy Chicken three masks are not enough to approach that crack

And in the case of the notorious Wo Big Fat whose rear oozes out the window and covers the door knob

The tester drawing the short straw will need a fourth mask and a much larger swab

Hopefully by understanding these guidelines one can hang their butt out the window with assurance

That the testing will be professional, mostly painless and covered by your insurance

Back To The Bats

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The world waited breathlessly for the findings of the WHO working with China to find the cause of the current global disease

Though originally thought to have been caused by animals, it became generally accepted it was a leak at the Wuhan lab that brought the world to its knees

“It probably was an animal”were the dubious findings issued by the investigation as a spread by a lab leak was highly unlikely

Transparent as paint China guarded their information for over a year while the virus ravaged the world and the culprits stood by silently

Animals are the easy villain as the Chinese diners regularly feast on all that walks, slithers, swims or crawls

Customers in the wet market can casually stroll through the hallways and select their menu from the many pitiful eyes peering back from the stalls

Three squeak infant mice, dancing shrimp, fresh puppy dogs are all served up chop stick ready

Add in another original exotic dish from the new hot chef and the clientele could be called trendy

Even though the ingredients of the bug, cat, and bat combo platter had just been butchered capturing the fresh aspect, any virus the the animal harbored could be transferred

What microorganisms that lived in the host’s legs, scales or feces might still exist, but assuming the risk is part of the game as freshness is preferred

“It’s still a work in progress” stated the WHO “this will require further investigation”

This means continue to fund our Chinese controlled efforts in the name of cooperation

Now that the unconvincing results have been obtained new research will be concentrated on how to stop the spread of the plague

The man in the White House of Egg Roll claimed victory mostly on how he could stop the illness’s spread but his solutions are at once both retreads and vague

Ban travel or not, wear multiple masks, close specific businesses, continue to isolate are all included in his scheme of the week

Have the sycophantic mouthpieces preach doom and despair and tint chances of rapid recovery as bleak

China knows Americans are gullible sheep, they believe what they see provided the phrase seen isn’t more than a two sentence tweet

So blame the animals, they can’t fight back and besides if fresh they are said to be good to eat

Money For Nothing And Your Pricks For Free

Congress is currently battling within themselves to decide how much more they want to put America in hock

What’s another 1.9 trillion anyway? The new President had promised payment so what’s with this Congressional deadlock?

One group says turn the money loose, we’ll worry about the consequences later

“We have the votes” they howl to their delight and the smile of the newly elected dictator

The other group thinks this might be too much money, funds that America doesn’t have

The USA’s debt wound is bleeding profusely and for that there is no salve

The debt is outpacing economic growth at a rate last seen in 1946

To right this ship drastic cuts will be required in government spending slashing pet projects in spite of the pain this inflicts

Fighting the pandemic hasn’t been easy with every unfounded lockdown adding to the nation’s blight

Led by a very small man holding a personal grudge writing counter productive executive orders adding to the nation’s plight

Advancing his agenda to the praise of his toadies he figures the best way to move forward is to kill jobs

His complete blindness to the future of America is caused by his own petty hatred when in reality it’s his own citizens he robs

His promised stoppage of the virus has turned into chaos as people are unsure of the number of masks they need to wear and where and when they’ll get their free arm prick

Sign up slots open when word of a vaccine delivery might show up, but to get the shot before Christmas you need to sign up quick

And speaking of pricks, inside the Washington beltway the pricks are thick as thieves

And will stay that way as long as in the Washington system the oblivious citizen believes

You Can Keep Your Doctor

The uninformed were cheering, this is a plan to save us all and the Big Guy is terrific

The Bidencare plan had been implemented and the list of in-network doctors was specific

What seemed like a cool refreshing oasis turned into just another mirage

It seems most doctors with real degrees went to cash only clinics and left very few physicians in the Biden entourage

The VA docs were bailing as the new administration was ordering them to administer to the horde of illegal alien diseases

Leaving veterans once again at the back of the line behind immigrants looking for free healthcare while trying to avoid their sneezes

The number of in-network MD’s under the new improved Bidencare had dwindled to three physicians

The good news is these “experts” were taking new patients including those with pre-conditions

First up was Bill Gates. Bill was a computer nerd tapped by the new IBM home computer market to use his software

His pocket protector must be enshrined in the Geek Hall of Fame as he became a multi-billionaire

Because he does support the causes he believes in, his Foundation aids in squashing the pandemic

Since money buys power he feels he has the authority to advise peoples’ behavior to stop the world wide epidemic

Next up is Doctor Anthony Fauci, the ongoing voice of doom and despair currently reveling in his fifteen minutes of fame

An alleged expert, Dr Fauci was disastrously wrong about many of his predictions. Now Biden rewarded him as chief medical advisor and that’s a shame

Finally we get to Granny Clampett, a simple woman dedicated to curing peoples’ ills

Having no use for “city doctors” using multiple visits and tests to heal the chills

Not needing money Granny would be open to bartering for her expertise

A shot of her rheumatiz medicine and some homemade tonic were the remedies of choice as she holds no degrees

Of the three choices I’m sticking with Granny as on her approach to healing and her bedside manner I’ve come to rely

Besides I might just get to sit down at the fancy eating table for vittles of buzzard eggs and possum pie

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