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A Daily Observer in Bad Poetry

Humor in Daily Life, Politics and Sports

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daily life

Anyone Can Run

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It’s been another four years and time for a general election

And a genuine potpourri of candidates lined up to garner voters’ affection

Back in the day a candidate was groomed for office by his career

Trained in all aspects of the job such as the politician’s wolfish smile and to pad pockets of an electioneer

Though the same tired faces surface every four years

A new face will pop up to announce his candidacy egged on by his adoring peers

So let’s take a look at candidates both past and present to see who had their day in the sun

Showing the world the Presidency is an open election and anyone can run

First up is Bernie Sanders a popular socialist but kicked to the curb by his own party

The Democrats teamed up to make sure Hillary got the nod and to Bernie were not sorry

Hillary was their choice thought unbeatable until she opened her mouth

Her opinion on Benghazi and deplorable voters caused her campaign to head south

Then came Donald J., P.T. Barnum only wished he could equal Trump’s showman ability

Creating four years of obsessive crazed media and Democratic hostility

Fast forward four years and the Democrats have tapped basement dweller Joe Biden to lead the way

Desperately trying to keep Sleepy Joe hidden before another unscripted gaffe leads to voter dismay

This guy told a black radio audience that if you struggle to choose then “you ain’t black enough”

Plus in past years a record player and a social worker are needed to raise black kids leaving families in a huff

Bernie Sanders again tried a run but the Democrats had him find his place back on the curb

And essentially place a sign around his neck reading Do Not Disturb

This election’s newcomer is is rap star and record producer Kanye West

Trying to follow in Trump’s footsteps he plans on stealing votes from both parties to win the contest

Maybe I can help with a campaign slogan by using lyrics from his records I have browsed

Perhaps a jingle like “Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused”

Or “Uh baby you’re makin’ it harder, better, faster, stronger” might be one to not sneeze at

But I figure that might be difficult to fit on a hat

With Liberty And Justice For All

When the Planet of the Apes was released in 1968 the end was intended to shock
The main character kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled Lady Liberty unable to turn back the clock

He realized that mankind in its lawless warlike state had annihilated humanity
And to survive in this primal state was his and his country’s destiny

Currently financially backed violent groups are waging war on America’s mores and past
Hiding behind Black Lives Matter, the demands are many. Eliminate law and order, rewrite history and all who oppose are harassed

Every work force has good workers and only a few bad no one will deny
Unfortunately with police, keeping bad ones someone might die

This applies to people of color, all colors if level headed folks would read the stats
But the anarchists prefer to spew the hatred and venom at all citizens not wearing BLM hats

Evidenced by Hitler attempting to wipe out the Jewish people beginning with their history
The fact supposedly educated mayors of the cities under siege doing nothing remains a mystery

Staring straight into the liberal news cameras. “It’s all about slavery and police brutality,” they scream
To underscore their peaceful protests stores are looted and burned orchestrated by the New world Order regime

Rarely mentioned in the slavery uproar are the 350,000 union soldiers who died on the battlefield
These were simple men, shop keepers, mill workers and dirt farmers all fighting that slave ownership be repealed

As ambivalent politicians hide behind their golden parachutes and feel good canned speeches
Denying all racial criticisms pointed their way before leaving for their private beaches

So history is being destroyed, monuments pulled down and police forces defunded
But as ISIS found out in their attempt to destroy a regions’ history a superior force is required for their scheme to be blunted

Thus the circle continues, two forces are doomed to clash therefore the body count will rise
So while law abiding citizens sleep, the momentum behind the New World Order will attempt America’s demise

Hopefully we won’t be left kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled memorial
Making a gleeful photo lead in for some liberal newspaper’s editorial

Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I Only Knew You As Good

Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I only knew you as good
Your label meant quality only now misunderstood

Those easily offended decided your image needed to be removed
A corporate decision to ingratiate your product in the black community and race relations are improved

Your icon a while back by a board room decision had been modernized
Your now dark skinned June Cleaver depiction again needs changing as self righteous indignation has the nation paralyzed

So we’ll package your superior quality and once proud product under a different label
Just so we can serve the same ingredients on the breakfast table

So when the new sterile packaging is complete
Your next step will be to take care of the chef on Cream of Wheat

And in the end when the expense of repackaging and distribution it will require
The tremendous cost will be passed on to the cost conscious food buyer

It won’t stop here product names will continually change lest a group be offended
Spineless corporations will inevitability bow to vocal groups as reality is suspended

Gone is Mia, the Land of Lakes maiden. “She was representing sex trafficking,” the offended would boast
That’s exactly what I thought of as I spread that delicious goodness on my toast

Next in line is that summer treat Eskimo Pie
Another example of good intentions gone awry

Most are not really sure how an ice cream on a stick can be that defamatory
However in certain circles the term Eskimo refers to raw meat eaters and that is considered inflammatory

And so it goes, pick a product and someone will be upset
Familiar product names will change over night due to some group’s threat

After brand names, will the outspoken groups go after produce?
There will be no stopping now, all will change, it’s easy to deduce

Grocers will be cautious of profiling not wanting to imply the black race could be associated with the term watermelon
So be prepared for the produce aisles to be advertising specials on aqua fruit before there’s a rebellion

So Now What?

 

A black man died on camera for the world to see
The brutal cop didn’t reach into his utility belt for a can of mercy

Using his badge for all the life and death authority he needed
He kneeled while three other heartless statues stood by as Mr. Floyd pleaded

The protesters assembled rapidly and grew enormous in dimension
They peacefully marched, waved signs and chanted loudly to show dissension

The numbers swelled in Minneapolis and many cities across the nation
Both protesters and law enforcement massed to hear the frustration as allowed by the Constitution

The media was in a frenzy, perhaps they could catch a violent act on memory card
Just maybe an enforcement person protecting property might push a protester whether by a cop or national guard

The delirious rush to film would be eye-opening by all the camera crews
Certainly a shove, a punch, or a tear gas canister would be the lead for the 6 o’clock news

Mayors and governors alike wrung their hands while praising the marchers simultaneously
Then a store front was caved in, a cop car burned and looting broke out spontaneously

Entire city blocks were torched while mayors ordered their troops to stand down
Protesting injustice now became a looting free for all as all businesses were fair game in the area’s uptown

The images burned into America’s minds were the mobs pouring out of stores with stolen brake pads and bottles of booze
Not because of injustice or frustration but because it’s lawless behavior they choose

So now there’s a movement to defund police forces because of poorly trained bigoted dunderheads
Piss poor biased cops and anarchic mobs are what true citizens and America dreads

Unfortunately for the work of sincere people wanting change, the violent perceptions remain
The objective of one group of people now has to combat the media footage seared into the country’s brain

Save The Last Dance For Me

The country is opening back up and the masks are coming off
People are acting as if everything is back to normal until they hear someone cough

Suddenly the tension can be cut with a knife as activity freezes
And glares of disapproval are directed at the individual that coughs or sneezes

But if the virus is spread through everyday interaction than that is acceptable
Unless of course unless your employment has you working around those most susceptible

People want to get out, to assume normalcy and to be part of a crowd
Emerging from government forced hibernation eager to participate in activities that are allowed

They want to attend concerts, eat at restaurants and socialize at bars
They want to return to yesterday and take back what is ours

Things once taken for granted are missed the most
It’s time to look forward and raise a glass in future toasts

Everyone expects a spike in virus cases or a second wave
The statistics show most recover with the exception of those with one foot in the grave

The population is more than ready to attend church, sporting events and to travel
To lift up the once strong economy that took only a month to unravel

They’re ready to smell the mustard of ball park hot dogs and taste the crispness of the cold beer
To feel the thunk of the landing gear at a vacation destination without virus fears

But as for me I believe I’ll stay home and inside a while longer
They say what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger

I’m not ready to lay in bed with lungs intubated and gasping for breath
While relatives are hastily making last arrangements needed after death

So everyone can make their own decisions about being foot loose and fancy free
But I’ll continue to lay low and hope someone saves the last dance for me

Getting Used To It

The bills keep piling up higher but the pile of laundry has gotten smaller
I’m rationing my last six pack as my household budget is down to the last dollar

The stimulus check promised a month ago allegedly is in the mail
I’ve tried to log on the see when it is arriving but to no avail

The refrigerator is only cooling last night’s leftovers but the freezer is packed
The news media spreading the constant panic caused my spending to over react

I haven’t shaved in a week and my shower towel is still clean and dry
I’ve been in the same clothes since the first of the month since I’m not in the public’s eye

Besides if you’re not going anywhere the clothes you have on have not been infected
When my temperature was read during my few ventures out no high readings were detected

The pollen on the car has turned it yellow as it hasn’t been cranked in days
And the brittle wipers smeared my windshield into a filmy streaky haze

The price of going somewhere is cheaper as gas is less expensive than it has been for years
Since traveling is frowned on maybe it’s payback for all the former holiday price gouging profiteers

Doctors’ appointments were canceled and asked they be consulted over the telephone
So previously they were just going through the motions when the listened to the heartbeat, peeked in your ears or in your eyes a light they shone

However the grass is cut and multiple chores have been done around the house
Reading and internet searches have been accomplished all the while trying to stay off the nerves of my spouse

This is happening while the country slowly tries to open back up and lose some mandated restrictions
Experts everywhere are quick to second guess all decisions as a failure hoping they’re right just once in their predictions

This Time it won’t be Col. Mustard in the Library with a Candlestick

As America peers over its’ masks and tries to get back to business as usual
And the states and the US government argue over what is constitutional

The tired poor huddled masses are trying to determine what is safe and what is not
Should they stay at home or venture out and give the new world a shot

There are virtually no clues as to where the virus is lurking and where it is attached
The knowledge feverishly supplied by the current crop of experts demonstrates the surface has barely been scratched

You’ve used the drive thru at the fast food restaurant and so far so good
The food came home was removed from the packaging and everyone washed their hands as they should

Since no one is showing any symptoms maybe a trip to the gym is in order to burn off the quarantine pounds
The belt is out a couple of notches and the chip bags are empty so exercise could be as good as it sounds

Hopefully the person wiping down the equipment didn’t miss a spot with the disinfectant wipes
It would be easy to miss a small section while the attendant’s attention wanders as he swipes

America will probably have to live through a period of mental disorder
For instance staring and wondering at the masked and gloved waiters as they take your order

The virus could be anywhere and then again it might not be around
“Are you feeling lucky punk?” Quoting Dirty Harry just to spend a night on the town

The clues this time won’t be easy but rest assured it won’t be Mrs Peacock, Miss Scarlett or Professor Plum.
The virus might have originated on the ATM from an infected card reader that brushed your thumb

Or it might have come from the church lady who felt obligated to help even though she didn’t feel right
And rather than question her unsteadiness you worked along side to be polite

Or maybe it was Sam the butcher handing your change back while wrapping the two pounds of mutton
So instead of the game of Clue maybe we should be playing button, button whose got the button

For certain until the all clear whistle is blown we can make rules for the guessing game of Covid-19
At least until someone develops a safe effective and inexpensive vaccine

Noah Should’ve Washed His Elephants

Noah, obeying the word of God was assigned a huge task
He did what he was told, he didn’t bother to ask

He was to build a big boat 300 cubits long
Built of gopher wood it needed to be strong

After building the ark with a mallet, wooden pegs and and a saw
There shouldn’t be a problem when the animals arrived that he foresaw

Unfortunately as the animals marched up the ramp two by two
Noah didn’t have a bucket, a long handled brush and a couple gallons of flea shampoo

In his hurry to stock up on salamander food
And gather fresh saplings for the beavers that hadn’t been chewed

He let the elephants and other animals trudge on board with ticks and fleas
Noah didn’t have time for a bug check as he was preparing for forty days of sailing the seas

He had his shot to rid the world of those pests
But he had no control of what was on board and treated all like guests

While he was at it though a guardian at the door to control roaches, lice and mice
And a few less poisonous snakes would have been nice

Where’d All These Experts Come From?

They appear on camera, at a podium and on the air waves
Dishing out daily expertise while showing excavators digging mass graves

Two months ago no one knew these people to be a health authority
Suddenly, because the media says so their opinions now rule the silent majority

One of their goals is not the public health but to cause America to panic
It’s not hard to believe Government wants to control your lives when the media’s use of casualty numbers makes one frantic

“Stay at home the experts advise, wear a mask and wash your hands
Shut the work force down keep your distance do what what we say,” Big Brother commands

WHO has aligned with China and become a puppet for the Chinese to pull their strings
The two docs on Trump’s staff, one with a scarf and one on a phone book have Clinton ties whose praises they sing

Plunge America into despair and poverty while waiting on the meager government check
Lose your way of life or meeting with friends but hide in the closet as the bill collectors are breathing down your neck

But there is a savior on the horizon, Bill Gates is funding vaccines and financing with his Microsoft billions
This is the same man that forced his software on us civilians

Yes it’s that software that needs constant upgrades for Microsoft to support costing you major bucks
And the fact your system won’t run anything else really sucks

Not to mention the continuing hassles of achingly slow updates, frozen systems and IT issues
He’s planning on vaccinating the world while the mainstream media has you worried over toilet tissues

And Brother Bill’s open border policy will keep the contagious unvaccinated people rolling in
So everyone in contact will need the current vaccine upgrade or the virus paranoia will begin again

Big Pharma is clicking their heels, an untold fortune will be coming their way
The world will be required to have the vaccine series at $1000 a pop or there will be Hell to pay

Their story may change daily but there the experts are acting all confident and bold
But lets all remember, this is the same group of people that haven’t found a cure for the common cold

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