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Anyone Can Run

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It’s been another four years and time for a general election

And a genuine potpourri of candidates lined up to garner voters’ affection

Back in the day a candidate was groomed for office by his career

Trained in all aspects of the job such as the politician’s wolfish smile and to pad pockets of an electioneer

Though the same tired faces surface every four years

A new face will pop up to announce his candidacy egged on by his adoring peers

So let’s take a look at candidates both past and present to see who had their day in the sun

Showing the world the Presidency is an open election and anyone can run

First up is Bernie Sanders a popular socialist but kicked to the curb by his own party

The Democrats teamed up to make sure Hillary got the nod and to Bernie were not sorry

Hillary was their choice thought unbeatable until she opened her mouth

Her opinion on Benghazi and deplorable voters caused her campaign to head south

Then came Donald J., P.T. Barnum only wished he could equal Trump’s showman ability

Creating four years of obsessive crazed media and Democratic hostility

Fast forward four years and the Democrats have tapped basement dweller Joe Biden to lead the way

Desperately trying to keep Sleepy Joe hidden before another unscripted gaffe leads to voter dismay

This guy told a black radio audience that if you struggle to choose then “you ain’t black enough”

Plus in past years a record player and a social worker are needed to raise black kids leaving families in a huff

Bernie Sanders again tried a run but the Democrats had him find his place back on the curb

And essentially place a sign around his neck reading Do Not Disturb

This election’s newcomer is is rap star and record producer Kanye West

Trying to follow in Trump’s footsteps he plans on stealing votes from both parties to win the contest

Maybe I can help with a campaign slogan by using lyrics from his records I have browsed

Perhaps a jingle like “Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused”

Or “Uh baby you’re makin’ it harder, better, faster, stronger” might be one to not sneeze at

But I figure that might be difficult to fit on a hat

2

With Liberty And Justice For All

When the Planet of the Apes was released in 1968 the end was intended to shock
The main character kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled Lady Liberty unable to turn back the clock

He realized that mankind in its lawless warlike state had annihilated humanity
And to survive in this primal state was his and his country’s destiny

Currently financially backed violent groups are waging war on America’s mores and past
Hiding behind Black Lives Matter, the demands are many. Eliminate law and order, rewrite history and all who oppose are harassed

Every work force has good workers and only a few bad no one will deny
Unfortunately with police, keeping bad ones someone might die

This applies to people of color, all colors if level headed folks would read the stats
But the anarchists prefer to spew the hatred and venom at all citizens not wearing BLM hats

Evidenced by Hitler attempting to wipe out the Jewish people beginning with their history
The fact supposedly educated mayors of the cities under siege doing nothing remains a mystery

Staring straight into the liberal news cameras. “It’s all about slavery and police brutality,” they scream
To underscore their peaceful protests stores are looted and burned orchestrated by the New world Order regime

Rarely mentioned in the slavery uproar are the 350,000 union soldiers who died on the battlefield
These were simple men, shop keepers, mill workers and dirt farmers all fighting that slave ownership be repealed

As ambivalent politicians hide behind their golden parachutes and feel good canned speeches
Denying all racial criticisms pointed their way before leaving for their private beaches

So history is being destroyed, monuments pulled down and police forces defunded
But as ISIS found out in their attempt to destroy a regions’ history a superior force is required for their scheme to be blunted

Thus the circle continues, two forces are doomed to clash therefore the body count will rise
So while law abiding citizens sleep, the momentum behind the New World Order will attempt America’s demise

Hopefully we won’t be left kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled memorial
Making a gleeful photo lead in for some liberal newspaper’s editorial

0

Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I Only Knew You As Good

Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I only knew you as good
Your label meant quality only now misunderstood

Those easily offended decided your image needed to be removed
A corporate decision to ingratiate your product in the black community and race relations are improved

Your icon a while back by a board room decision had been modernized
Your now dark skinned June Cleaver depiction again needs changing as self righteous indignation has the nation paralyzed

So we’ll package your superior quality and once proud product under a different label
Just so we can serve the same ingredients on the breakfast table

So when the new sterile packaging is complete
Your next step will be to take care of the chef on Cream of Wheat

And in the end when the expense of repackaging and distribution it will require
The tremendous cost will be passed on to the cost conscious food buyer

It won’t stop here product names will continually change lest a group be offended
Spineless corporations will inevitability bow to vocal groups as reality is suspended

Gone is Mia, the Land of Lakes maiden. “She was representing sex trafficking,” the offended would boast
That’s exactly what I thought of as I spread that delicious goodness on my toast

Next in line is that summer treat Eskimo Pie
Another example of good intentions gone awry

Most are not really sure how an ice cream on a stick can be that defamatory
However in certain circles the term Eskimo refers to raw meat eaters and that is considered inflammatory

And so it goes, pick a product and someone will be upset
Familiar product names will change over night due to some group’s threat

After brand names, will the outspoken groups go after produce?
There will be no stopping now, all will change, it’s easy to deduce

Grocers will be cautious of profiling not wanting to imply the black race could be associated with the term watermelon
So be prepared for the produce aisles to be advertising specials on aqua fruit before there’s a rebellion

0

So Now What?

 

A black man died on camera for the world to see
The brutal cop didn’t reach into his utility belt for a can of mercy

Using his badge for all the life and death authority he needed
He kneeled while three other heartless statues stood by as Mr. Floyd pleaded

The protesters assembled rapidly and grew enormous in dimension
They peacefully marched, waved signs and chanted loudly to show dissension

The numbers swelled in Minneapolis and many cities across the nation
Both protesters and law enforcement massed to hear the frustration as allowed by the Constitution

The media was in a frenzy, perhaps they could catch a violent act on memory card
Just maybe an enforcement person protecting property might push a protester whether by a cop or national guard

The delirious rush to film would be eye-opening by all the camera crews
Certainly a shove, a punch, or a tear gas canister would be the lead for the 6 o’clock news

Mayors and governors alike wrung their hands while praising the marchers simultaneously
Then a store front was caved in, a cop car burned and looting broke out spontaneously

Entire city blocks were torched while mayors ordered their troops to stand down
Protesting injustice now became a looting free for all as all businesses were fair game in the area’s uptown

The images burned into America’s minds were the mobs pouring out of stores with stolen brake pads and bottles of booze
Not because of injustice or frustration but because it’s lawless behavior they choose

So now there’s a movement to defund police forces because of poorly trained bigoted dunderheads
Piss poor biased cops and anarchic mobs are what true citizens and America dreads

Unfortunately for the work of sincere people wanting change, the violent perceptions remain
The objective of one group of people now has to combat the media footage seared into the country’s brain

1

Save The Last Dance For Me

The country is opening back up and the masks are coming off
People are acting as if everything is back to normal until they hear someone cough

Suddenly the tension can be cut with a knife as activity freezes
And glares of disapproval are directed at the individual that coughs or sneezes

But if the virus is spread through everyday interaction than that is acceptable
Unless of course unless your employment has you working around those most susceptible

People want to get out, to assume normalcy and to be part of a crowd
Emerging from government forced hibernation eager to participate in activities that are allowed

They want to attend concerts, eat at restaurants and socialize at bars
They want to return to yesterday and take back what is ours

Things once taken for granted are missed the most
It’s time to look forward and raise a glass in future toasts

Everyone expects a spike in virus cases or a second wave
The statistics show most recover with the exception of those with one foot in the grave

The population is more than ready to attend church, sporting events and to travel
To lift up the once strong economy that took only a month to unravel

They’re ready to smell the mustard of ball park hot dogs and taste the crispness of the cold beer
To feel the thunk of the landing gear at a vacation destination without virus fears

But as for me I believe I’ll stay home and inside a while longer
They say what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger

I’m not ready to lay in bed with lungs intubated and gasping for breath
While relatives are hastily making last arrangements needed after death

So everyone can make their own decisions about being foot loose and fancy free
But I’ll continue to lay low and hope someone saves the last dance for me

0

Getting Used To It

The bills keep piling up higher but the pile of laundry has gotten smaller
I’m rationing my last six pack as my household budget is down to the last dollar

The stimulus check promised a month ago allegedly is in the mail
I’ve tried to log on the see when it is arriving but to no avail

The refrigerator is only cooling last night’s leftovers but the freezer is packed
The news media spreading the constant panic caused my spending to over react

I haven’t shaved in a week and my shower towel is still clean and dry
I’ve been in the same clothes since the first of the month since I’m not in the public’s eye

Besides if you’re not going anywhere the clothes you have on have not been infected
When my temperature was read during my few ventures out no high readings were detected

The pollen on the car has turned it yellow as it hasn’t been cranked in days
And the brittle wipers smeared my windshield into a filmy streaky haze

The price of going somewhere is cheaper as gas is less expensive than it has been for years
Since traveling is frowned on maybe it’s payback for all the former holiday price gouging profiteers

Doctors’ appointments were canceled and asked they be consulted over the telephone
So previously they were just going through the motions when the listened to the heartbeat, peeked in your ears or in your eyes a light they shone

However the grass is cut and multiple chores have been done around the house
Reading and internet searches have been accomplished all the while trying to stay off the nerves of my spouse

This is happening while the country slowly tries to open back up and lose some mandated restrictions
Experts everywhere are quick to second guess all decisions as a failure hoping they’re right just once in their predictions

2

This Time it won’t be Col. Mustard in the Library with a Candlestick

As America peers over its’ masks and tries to get back to business as usual
And the states and the US government argue over what is constitutional

The tired poor huddled masses are trying to determine what is safe and what is not
Should they stay at home or venture out and give the new world a shot

There are virtually no clues as to where the virus is lurking and where it is attached
The knowledge feverishly supplied by the current crop of experts demonstrates the surface has barely been scratched

You’ve used the drive thru at the fast food restaurant and so far so good
The food came home was removed from the packaging and everyone washed their hands as they should

Since no one is showing any symptoms maybe a trip to the gym is in order to burn off the quarantine pounds
The belt is out a couple of notches and the chip bags are empty so exercise could be as good as it sounds

Hopefully the person wiping down the equipment didn’t miss a spot with the disinfectant wipes
It would be easy to miss a small section while the attendant’s attention wanders as he swipes

America will probably have to live through a period of mental disorder
For instance staring and wondering at the masked and gloved waiters as they take your order

The virus could be anywhere and then again it might not be around
“Are you feeling lucky punk?” Quoting Dirty Harry just to spend a night on the town

The clues this time won’t be easy but rest assured it won’t be Mrs Peacock, Miss Scarlett or Professor Plum.
The virus might have originated on the ATM from an infected card reader that brushed your thumb

Or it might have come from the church lady who felt obligated to help even though she didn’t feel right
And rather than question her unsteadiness you worked along side to be polite

Or maybe it was Sam the butcher handing your change back while wrapping the two pounds of mutton
So instead of the game of Clue maybe we should be playing button, button whose got the button

For certain until the all clear whistle is blown we can make rules for the guessing game of Covid-19
At least until someone develops a safe effective and inexpensive vaccine

0

Noah Should’ve Washed His Elephants

Noah, obeying the word of God was assigned a huge task
He did what he was told, he didn’t bother to ask

He was to build a big boat 300 cubits long
Built of gopher wood it needed to be strong

After building the ark with a mallet, wooden pegs and and a saw
There shouldn’t be a problem when the animals arrived that he foresaw

Unfortunately as the animals marched up the ramp two by two
Noah didn’t have a bucket, a long handled brush and a couple gallons of flea shampoo

In his hurry to stock up on salamander food
And gather fresh saplings for the beavers that hadn’t been chewed

He let the elephants and other animals trudge on board with ticks and fleas
Noah didn’t have time for a bug check as he was preparing for forty days of sailing the seas

He had his shot to rid the world of those pests
But he had no control of what was on board and treated all like guests

While he was at it though a guardian at the door to control roaches, lice and mice
And a few less poisonous snakes would have been nice

0

Where’d All These Experts Come From?

They appear on camera, at a podium and on the air waves
Dishing out daily expertise while showing excavators digging mass graves

Two months ago no one knew these people to be a health authority
Suddenly, because the media says so their opinions now rule the silent majority

One of their goals is not the public health but to cause America to panic
It’s not hard to believe Government wants to control your lives when the media’s use of casualty numbers makes one frantic

“Stay at home the experts advise, wear a mask and wash your hands
Shut the work force down keep your distance do what what we say,” Big Brother commands

WHO has aligned with China and become a puppet for the Chinese to pull their strings
The two docs on Trump’s staff, one with a scarf and one on a phone book have Clinton ties whose praises they sing

Plunge America into despair and poverty while waiting on the meager government check
Lose your way of life or meeting with friends but hide in the closet as the bill collectors are breathing down your neck

But there is a savior on the horizon, Bill Gates is funding vaccines and financing with his Microsoft billions
This is the same man that forced his software on us civilians

Yes it’s that software that needs constant upgrades for Microsoft to support costing you major bucks
And the fact your system won’t run anything else really sucks

Not to mention the continuing hassles of achingly slow updates, frozen systems and IT issues
He’s planning on vaccinating the world while the mainstream media has you worried over toilet tissues

And Brother Bill’s open border policy will keep the contagious unvaccinated people rolling in
So everyone in contact will need the current vaccine upgrade or the virus paranoia will begin again

Big Pharma is clicking their heels, an untold fortune will be coming their way
The world will be required to have the vaccine series at $1000 a pop or there will be Hell to pay

Their story may change daily but there the experts are acting all confident and bold
But lets all remember, this is the same group of people that haven’t found a cure for the common cold

0

Practicing Social Distance in a House of Ill Repute

SSSSphaaaplop, it was a sound I’d grown to despise as another loaf of spam hits the pan
I’d been sheltering in place, the urge was building, and I’d come up with a plan

Three weeks of stay at home left me anxious and stir crazy
I’d grown tired of of the complaints about watching reality TV and being lazy

I’ll show you lazy, tonight under the guise of boat hunting I’m going to Madam Cherie’s Fun House Emporium
That’ll make up for three weeks of close quarters and a married bliss moratorium

This area had very few Corona cases and not considered a hot zone
So when no one was looking I put on some spandex briefs and slapped on some cologne

Nothing appeared to have changed as I pulled around the house of clapboard
Parking under the same holly I followed the weathered sign that read All Aboard

Met at the dimly lit entrance by the now mask and glove wearing Seymour the greeter for many years
He told me I could go right in but there was a limit of ten customers due to virus fears

Cherie herself was working the transaction booth behind a new sneeze guard
She stated that due to the pandemic there was only one activity available and handed me the number five card

She said she had to let most of her staff go as her regulars stayed home and times were tough
She said Dixie and Peaches were the only escorts left but they really knew their stuff

So I sat in a stackable plastic chair that smelled of Lysol as the velour sofas had been taken out
My apprehension grew as the noise from the back grew louder and seemed to end in a horrified shout

Apprehension turned to panic when a disheveled number four stumbled out the door
He looked like he’d fought a mountain lion had lost and was shaken to his core

“You’re next,” said Cherie. As I entered the room there stood Dixie and Peaches holding a Slurpee cup and a Hoover
Peaches explained that in normal times the the six foot wand attachment was used as a cob web remover

She also explained that they only used one attachment with the wand but it had a soft bristle tip
Then they laid me back on an easy wipe stainless table covered with butcher paper and told me to unzip

Too frightened to argue I did as I was told and with a flip of a switch the vacuum was fired up
The wand quickly gobbled up Mr Happy my underwear and a bouquet from the washstand while Dixie made squishy sounds with the Slurpee cup

That sound was quickly drowned out by my screams of agony from the wand’s relentless extraction
“Enough,” I shouted terrified Mr Happy would spend the next six months in traction

Mumbling a thank you to Dixie and Peaches for flattening my curve I lumbered toward the exit sign
Positive that eating fried Spam at home for as long as it takes would be just fine.

4

Bernie Gets Part Of His Wishes For Only $2000000000000.00

The election is still eight months away and not a vote has been cast
Against Mr. Biden, Bernie’s just hanging on trying to outlast

But this nasty virus has with Bernie become a strange bedfellow
The Dems added pork to their package and turned the Republicans back bone to jello

The virus reached pandemic level on both coasts so Congress passed a bill to fight this plague
But the alleged goal of the stimulus package by both parties became a bit vague

Mr. Sanders has been adamant in free healthcare for all and the bill provides free testing
Next will be free treatment and that will be approved with no protesting

Because this is an election year the Democrats are striking while the virus is hot
With 75 million to the National Endowment For The Arts, someone hit the jackpot

To raise that much money PBS would have to sell a lot of Downton Abbey DVD’s
Hopefully there won’t be a lot of fund raising while the shut ins are fighting for their life from this disease

Bernie’s hatred of the wall received a positive update, 350 million for refugee resettlement
That’s good news for Mr. Sander’s borderless country and should aid in his contentment

There’s nothing like adding many new unskilled people to counties’ welfare rolls
But they’ll vote democrat and with Nancy’s idea of no ID for voting the dems will sweep the polls

The new refugees I’m sure are going to be a big help in righting the economy and fighting this virus
While the leaders of Congress can proudly say we passed this bill with out bias

Bernie should be down right gleeful about the US having to pay it’s citizens
Dependency on the government are all part of his far left visions

The money won’t be enough people living week to week will still be broke
It’s only a matter of time before another bill will be in front of Congress for them to invoke

America will sell it’s ideals and soul to try to right it’s economy with another stimulus bill
While the Chinese continue to eat their bats and perhaps morph the virus into one that can really kill

So Mr. Sanders stays in isolation but still gets some of his wishes granted without making a speech
Again the virus worked in his favor as Biden stumbles people don’t have to listen to Bernie preach

0

Time For A Reboot

As usual after countless attempts the help desk 24/7 phone line was still busy
The reports were due and the management staff was in a tizzy

Finally after losing precious minutes the monotone IT expert came on the line
The system kept locking on the merge screen as if by design

Hopefully this personality rich individual could figure the cause
Always under the notion the systems are perfect and the operator has flaws

Demeaning himself to speak to us peons his first suggestion was to reboot
Like explaining to a toddler he advised to locate the power switch, toggle, and you should compute

If only the world was so simple that one could flip the power switch
Just reach behind the box, a quick push and goodbye to the glitch

As in system software like this world this isn’t always the case
There is no reset button as this virus disrupts the human race

A new set of rules has been hastily written and thrust on mankind
Daily routines, employment and relationships as we know it have been redefined

Granny is off limits, one can only work from home and little kids watch the outdoors through the window sills
While an anxious mother watches terrified that either she or they will start to have the chills

Also knowing she’ll have to explain the monster’s not under the bed but on their playmate’s hands
Hoping beyond belief there is some comprehension and the little one understands

When this vile plague is over perhaps a reboot is what this country needs
A time to look back and not stumble over the same misdeeds

Time to see the puppy’s delighted wiggle, the infant’s reach, the elder’s smile because you walked in the door
Forgiving the cry in the night, a minute of forgetfulness, or the accident on the floor

To continue dwelling in the negatives of the past only wounds the heart
Moreover thinking there is only one resolution that matters the world will continue to drift apart

0

Let’s Party We Ain’t Scared. If We Get It, We Get It

He contracted the virus in the biology lab from a graduate assistant who had traveled abroad
He’d heard the news but in his ignorance the doomsayers with their catastrophic numbers just seemed flawed

At the semester’s end he gathered up four friends and headed for the Florida beaches for sun and fun
Other friends last year bragged about drinking fourteen cases of beer so they were out to prove they can’t be out done

His asymptomatic self now on the road for 1000 miles in close quarters with his friends
Drinking beer and sharing doobies at the end of finals is what his youthful wild side recommends

He stopped for gas while contaminating the pump handle and the candy rack from the Snickers bar he stuffed under his shirt
Saving more money for beer and making up time to catch the Saturday night beach concert

Arriving in Clearwater in early afternoon it was time to load up on beverages and hit the beach
The virus is spreading like wildfire but to him it’s party time and no time to listen to the newscasters preach

The girls were plentiful and many were willing to celebrate and share a good time
Besides everyone was there on their own free will and looking for fun, and that is not a crime

The gloved housekeeping staff were tasked with changing bed linens and towels
Trying not to touch their face while cleaning the sink and toilets after three days of drinking, bad eating and loose bowels

The five days were up before he knew it as the city denied access to the sand
So on the road again with a rolling stomach but satisfied, smug and tanned

Making a pit stop at a drug store and sorting through the antacids to quell that nauseous feeling
His friends demanded the break after eating two for a dollar roller grill hot dogs as they found his breath, burps and flatulence quite unappealing

Returning home he was forced to spend time with his family and grandparents since his college was closed
He wasn’t recovering from his trip that fast, feeling feverish, coughing and his opinion it was a sinus infection was misdiagnosed

He had just made a two thousand mile round trip with a contagious disease he had helped transmit
But it was a party and he wasn’t scared we get it, we all get it

2

Mom (or Dad’s) New Lesson Plan

Amidst the schools closing with little warning due to the virus threat
Parents trying to home school are finding subjects are easy to forget

Twenty years ago school seemed a breeze and the subjects taught were easy
Now a quick glance at the lessons on the laptop made the stomach queasy

The idea of passing the kids on to Granny wasn’t working either
Sure, she does have a phone and a laptop but has mastered neither

Her atlas still showed Yugoslavia and her dictionary can’t spell check
And Gramps is completely immersed in TV westerns as his brain has become a sputtering wreck

Now Mom’s working from home, reviewing tomorrow’s lessons and exactly what is a cosine
But just maybe now there is a chance to show what makes Mom shine

The kids can learn how to manage a day, budget the home and work the lesson plan
Maybe life’s lessons can be shown to be more than a soccer Mom in a minivan

The whining and the eye rolling are inevitable but one must comply with the law of the land
Parents can now experience a small dose of what teachers see first hand

So review the Magna Carta, split infinitives and flower stamens as tomorrow they’ll be yours to teach
This new responsibility will make the evening wine sweeter while you dream of the beach

0

Please Listen Carefully as our Menu has Changed


I’m calling my doctor as these coronavirus alerts have become relentless. Blaring 24/7 on all my devices has left me in a fog
The auto message picks up immediately stating “Thank you for contacting Celestial Behavioral Health and the office of Dr. P.W. Fozziwog”

“If this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911 before becoming completely deranged
For all others please listen carefully as our menu has changed”

“Press one if you have become obsessed with rationing the squirts of sanitizer for your hands”
Friends and family are becoming concerned about your ever increasing posted list of demands

“Press two if you run from your children when they return from school”
To them having to strip in the garage while you’re ordering them to check their temperature just seems cruel

“Press three if you have dreams about being trapped under your collapsed mountain of hoarded toilet paper”
You wake up in a cold sweat with visions of the hazmat suited coroner prying you up with a paint scraper

“Press four if your parents have blocked their entryway with granny’s old English buffet”
When you unsuccessfully tried to leave the kids with them for a weekend stay

“Press five if due to sports withdrawal you were escorted from the local Putt Putt for starting a brawl”
By yelling obscenities about missed putts at the man with the blue ball

“Press six if you need the menu retold
Or stay on the line so a real person will put you on hold”

0

The Wed Perse


“Kevin are you glad that you’ve gotten to leave the classroom and come spend time with me?
And if we can break your pronunciation problem with the r’s it will be time well spent. Don’t you agree?”

“So you just sit there and we’ll work on your speech. What color is my purse?”
“Ma’am, your perse is wed.” Knowing my r just went from bad to worse

“No Kevin, the purse is red, rrrr red. Can you repeat that?”
“Yes ma’am, rrrr wed.” More words the kids can poke fun at

Wats!

“Okay Kevin, we’ll try again. How many apples are on the stand?”
“Ma’am it looks like thwee.” Wanting to bury my head in the sand

Wats! Wats!

“Kevin it’s three, thrrrree. Can you repeat it?”
“Yes ma’am, thwee.” As frustration reached the point of throwing a fit

“No Kevin, it’s thrrrree. Repeat it one more time.”
“Thwee.” Just knowing I’m sounding like I’m committing a crime

Cwap!

“Kevin let’s take a minute and watch the yard man cutting grass through the window screen. What color is the grass?”
“Ma’am, he’s cutting gween gwass.”

Cwap! Cwap!

“Okay Kevin, I see our twenty minutes are up and your class is outside for recess. Do you know when our next session is before you go out to play?”
“Yes ma’am it’s thwee o’clock on Fwiday.”

Fuck!

“Oh Kevin, it’s thrrrree o’clock on Frrrriday. I guess I’ve got another ten minutes to spare.
So you’ll stay here and repeat after me, and stop squirming in that chair.”

0

Books That Have Been Banned…Revisited

Books have been burned and banned through the ages
By people who feel they have a right to censor what is written on the pages

What follows are three books that were banned before Al Gore’s internet was invented
And before his wife’s blacklist of the music she found offensive should be prevented

The Grapes of Wrath

Published in 1939 Steinbeck’s novel describes the struggles of a destitute farming family for survival
Driven from Oklahoma by the crop killing dust storms the kinfolk load their meager possessions and head to California hoping for a better life on arrival

The hand bills posted promised a finer life with improved living conditions and plentiful jobs
The harsh reality after a brutal travel west the family and all like them were set upon by government mobs

Beaten and hounded, the destitute group found no solution to their trouble
Called Reds by the authorities fearing the spread of socialism, the families were forced to live in tents and burned out rubble

Fast forward 80 years and immigration caravans are marching to California only to find the Welcome sign had been removed
Though many managed to sneak in most found misery and their life not improved

The fear of socialism remains high as these new immigrants will surely vote for those promising all things free
Forcing America to lean to the left will then become a certainty

1984

Published in 1949 Orwell’s book was about the spread of communism forced on it’s citizens and businesses by the government or Big Brother
The countries’ people were regulated by telescreens in every room or approved media as the government spied on one another

The protagonist Winston Smith worked for the government as a fact changer
He changed data according to the government’s whims, and if not his life was in danger

In real time 1984 the McIntosh PC was introduced in a Super Bowl commercial with a nod to oddly enough Orwell’s 1984
The UK agreed to to transfer power from Hong Kong to communist China while Hong Kong could retain it’s capitalistic democracy for fifty years more

A new virus had been identified, labeled as Aids continued its’ deadly march across the land
In 1949 ideas like government changing facts, controlling businesses and the spread of communism were good reasons to have the book banned

Fast forward 36 years from 1984 and a new virus is identified and another pandemic is on the loose
Consumers buy products and download software that spies on them by the profiles they produce

1984 was over three decades ago but what was written still prevails
The government both foreign and domestic does have the ability to control foolish people as they unwittingly leave their digital trails

To Kill A Mockingbird

Told through the young eyes of Scout Finch the novel deals with racial injustice in a small southern town
Published in 1960 Harper Lee’s book demonstrated the way white people used ingrained prejudices to keep the black people down

Evidenced by the rape trial of an impoverished white woman’s pitiful power play
The daughter of the incestuous town drunk tempted a black man and the drunk hiding behind Jim Crow could not let it lay

Banned by both whites and blacks alike for language, racial and sexual overtones the book was thrown out of many libraries and schools
There’s a certain unwritten order to peoples’ existence based on skin color and one must follow the rules

The Democratic party by the civil rights act of 1964 tossed the people of color a bone
But much like the man on trial in Harper Lee’s story, everyone knows who’s in power behind the throne

As much as things change the more they seem the same
The fact that people shield their eyes to hide from the truth is the real shame

7

The Shark Tank


Duh Nuh
The two note sound echoed off the ocean floor and resounded through the coral sending the alarm
The Bloomberg Shark (Stoppus friskus) eyes opened wide while hoping for no additional harm

The Bloomberg Shark from the BS family had been dropping many clams on his private campaign and became an easy target for a harpoon
He’s hoping not to be added to the ocean floor where the bodies of short lived candidates are strewn

Duh Nuh Duh Nuh Duh Nuh
The notes were stringing rapidly together meaning more hungry sharks were in the neighborhood
Carefully peering around the wreck of the the sunken ship The USS Society to see as far as he could

Surprisingly the noise seemed to be coming from another member of the BS family (Oldus geekus) the Biden Shark.
A former serious predator now reduced to bottom feeding as his campaign had not been a swim in the park

Relieved the Bloomberg Shark relaxed for a minute not worried about a vicious attack
Mostly toothless having to gum his prey he’s not capable of much more than talking smack

Duh nuh Duh nuh Duh nuh
Now the notes were coming from the port side of the wreck
And there he was another BS predator the Buttigieg Shark (Accompli nadas) swimming over the top of the poop deck

Accompanied by his husband a member of the blow fish group and full of his own sense of pride
This shark was hoping to shred the Bloomberg animal and in his favor turn the tide

The Bloomberg Shark was further startled when a pale white shadow appeared above the kelp
It was the shrieking opportunist Warren Shark (Taxus richus) taking bites out of all the sharks in the area hoping every tooth mark will help

Cruising past and making incoherent noise was the Bernie Shark (Freeus allus) the largest BS of all tailed by a huge group of adoring sardines hoping to be forgiven of all their debts
The naive little fish would be surprised to see what their vote really gets

Finally the voters of the South Carolina caucus will realize they’re gonna need a bigger boat
All this mayhem to harpoon the Great White Whale (Deplorus patriotus) with their vote

Hoping for new leadership to stir up the prevailing ocean sediment
To quote Moby Dick “It smells like the left wing of the day of judgment”

2

TV Commercials BD&AD


Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s TV commercials had a different tone
They were aired to catch your interest and not offend with what was shown

Who doesn’t remember the product sold when you hear “Mother please I’d rather do it myself” or “My bologna has a first name.”
But then along came a commercial that changed the whole ballgame

The advertisement showed two women walking in an idyllic setting on a sunrise beach discussing why one doesn’t feel “fresh” enough
“Pam” one says as the water laps over their feet. “Sometimes I think I smell pretty rough.”

To which Pam goes on to praise the new product she uses
She continues to rave about the ease of use and the sense of confidence the product produces

It seems it was a douche commercial that opened advertisers’ eyes
Suddenly the gloves were off and for any malady no matter how disturbing there was a product cure for a spokesperson to advise

So now the commercial world can be classified before douche and after douche or BD&AD
BD commercials were as always hard sell but without all the side effects hooey

However BD commercials’ catchphrases would probably have completely different connotations for AD products sold today
The “put a tiger in your tank’ slogan could be used to end erectile dysfunction dismay

And “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing ,” when the person is the size of a minivan
Would now be a commercial for a weight reduction plan

This new age of loathsome advertising might have been avoided when the original two women strolling along the sandy track
If in their conversation Pam had turned to her companion and said, “it’s not you it was that dead jellyfish we passed about 100 yards back

6

Top Secret Documents Revealed

IMG_1038Recently during a sweeping of the House Floor, the cleaning staff uncovered some top secret documents

These apparently came from a drunken democrat passed out at his desk after losing the impeachment arguments

He was found in a fetal position producing only moans and spit bubbles while covered with what looked like a torn up speech

He thought a last gasp vote might remove that trespassing oaf from office but the final tally proved out of reach

But as he was rolled over these forms were trapped between his briefcase and his flask

It seems as a member of a secret voter registration committee he had been assigned a task

Found in a pool of sweat were documents to relocate individuals claiming refugee status

Promised was a better life, healthcare and unemployment benefits all issued gratis

There was also a document to be signed that read “antes de obtener todas las cosas gratis usted debe registrarse para ser un demócrata”

Also included was a temporary work visa and a plane ticket to Imlay, Nevada

Roughly translated the statement says, “before you get all the free stuff you must sign up to be a democrat.

This figures a way to eliminate that vile Electoral College and let the republican party be a political doormat

The map shows distribution points for individuals claiming refugee status like product leaving a packer

All are sent to battleground states and followed on phones and computers by the democrat developed app tracker

Ensuring in a short time the red states now in majority will turn blue

And the progressive objectives of government dependence will be the rule and the dream of apple pie and American flag will be through

0

Asian Imports = Possible Risky Business

With all the talk of trade imports and exports it might be time to look at what is imported from Asia
Most imports are welcomed to improve quality of life, yet some offer only invasive, sickening and frustrating fantasia

The kudzu vine was imported and praised for it’s fast growth, brought in during the Great Depression it was thought to be a cheap savior for erosion control
That was before the vine swallowed the countryside, phone poles and rumored to have eaten a slow moving deputy sheriff on patrol

Asia wants all consumers to believe they export high tech electronics such as TVs computers and phones to be bought
But just don’t drive your Daewoo to a car dealer expecting a good trade in value for something else on the lot

If someone couldn’t get a good deal on their gently used car then they could surf to work on their hover board in their business attire
Just make sure your route to work passes a fire department as your pants would probably be on fire.

A while back it was all the rage to have an alternate exotic pet like a big Asian snake
So people rushed to buy and the pet distributors brought in hundreds and when the snakes got too big for the aquarium they were thrown in the lake

Unfortunately the snakes continued to grow, had no natural enemies and ate everything that moved
Since they camouflage well and reproduce rapidly, specialists are now hired to go into the swamp to have them removed

Allegedly the corona virus currently spreading world wide like wildfire was incubated by eating bat soup
Apparently the kitchen cooks in an effort to serve food fresh didn’t completely cook the poop

So it was ingested to the intestine where opportunities for virus growth dwell
And suddenly, sadly the phrase was heard. “Holy bubbling soup cauldron Batman, I’m not feeling so well.”

0

Meghan’s Tupperware Party

IMG_1025

Welcome to my house, my name is Meghan and I’m new to this neighborhood

I thought this Tupperware party might be a good way to meet everyone like a new resident should

I appreciate y’all parking around the U-Haul trailer and stepping over the string attached to the garden hose post

As the queen of this new house, today I’ll be serving as your host

We’re a small family and are really trying to adjust to the area

We yearn to live the quiet life away from all the hysteria

So please make yourself as comfortable as you can. The furniture just arrived from No Credit Rental

As soon as we can swing it, I’ll bring in newer furnishings so please don’t be too judgmental

I hope you brought your check book because I have some exciting items to show you

They’ll make your life easier in a lot of every day tasks you need to do

The first piece I’d like to show you is this heart shaped baking dish I use for Harry’s kidney pie

Presenting your partner with heart shaped food might just turn you into his “special” pie in the sky

Next I’d like to show you this handy divided dish that Harry uses for his fish and chips

Since his new job is an Uber driver, he has to eat on the run to not miss any tips

Finally I’d like to show this wonderful new casserole pan perfect for my recipe of bubble and squeak

I think my secret ingredients make it better, and there’s no in law here to critique

So feel free to look my samples over and thumb through the handy fliers

Hopefully that should turn you into happy neighbors and satisfied buyers

And as you leave, I’ll ask you again to be careful stepping over the string attached to the post for the garden hose

It leads all the way to Harry and is tied to the ring I have in his nose

4

To Kill A Talking Bird

The prosecution crowd was strutting in, it had been three long years
The man on trial wasn’t one of them, conjuring up their worst fears

In spite of their futile efforts, a new trade agreement was adding another achievement
“That’s not possible, he’s not good for the country.” They all cried boosting their bereavement

“But we finally got him, this ought to end his presidency.”
The fact the previous attempts at a coup bears no relevancy

Not caring their dog and pony show was beginning to look like a third world puppet regime
They were willing to give impeachment a shot so they could again reign supreme

The articles of impeachment were delivered by the trial managers marching across the Capitol looking like refugees from a PacMan game
Even though no one was home at the Senate the managers’ foolish parade appeared to produce no shame

The hand picked managers were to be a diverse group with two traits they all shared
The weasel, a Latino, two black people and a couple soon to be blue haired

The attributes in common are disdain for the American people and their hatred for the President
Taking this man down was their disturbed goal and not caring about the voters they represent

They’ve sharpened both their pencils and their teeth to grill the defense advocates
Hoping the same trial evidence and one new questionable witness won’t be found inadequate

Perhaps the trial after all does have the ability to anger the nation
When the citizens realize the proceedings preempt Days of Our Lives and are forced to watch reruns on the Super Station

4

I Fear No Weather In My New 4X4

 

Finally the moment I’ve been waiting for the wind has picked up and the weather reports forbidding
The roads might go slick with ice and could start cars skidding

The weather forecasters were in agreement, their highly touted high resolution radar does foresee
There’s a chance of sleet, slush or snow if the temperature varies by just a degree

I did what any red blooded male would do when a cold front was moving through
I checked my new SUV for gas and the fridge for an ample supply of cold brew

And to impress the little lady, I pulled around a ladder and swept out the gutters
I also checked the weather seals on the windows and oiled the hinges on the shutters

“I think you’re in overkill,” stated the little lady. “Especially with that big ladder you’ve been dragging.
Besides we shouldn’t have a worry with all the money you spent on that new station wagon.”

“It’s not a station wagon,” I snapped. “Show me a wagon with 355 horsepower and four wheel drive.”
“Whatever,” she countered. “Even without it we have plenty of Spam and would probably survive.”

“But what would happen if a medical emergency happened,” I said. “And someone went into labor?”
With all the eye rolling she could summon replied. “This is a retirement community name someone under 75 who is a neighbor.”

“Ah,” I responded. “You forgot about the mass stampede to the grocery store for milk and bread.”
“Well that would solve our problem,” she grumbled. “You’re lactose intolerant and I’m gluten free. We’d both be dead.”

0

Where was Granny’s Sack of Pills?


The auto call reminded me of the upcoming doctor’s appointment, to be 15 minutes early and bring all my medication
And judging by the patients in the waiting room one of the side effects of their medication had to be constipation

My Granny was a sweet woman with admirable baking skills but not a sack of pills
Sure she buttered her toast and fried her chicken but only had aspirin to cure her ills

A lot of today’s “diseases” hadn’t been invented such as high cholesterol and bone density
Granny never experienced a doctor’s lecture about thinning bones with the stare of cyborg intensity

She stayed active, tended her garden, cared for the grand kids and in winter was careful on ice
She spent her income wisely, used coupons as her purchases were always the lowest price

And she knew as she aged, she’d never be thirty again
But this is now and that was then

Grandpa smoked his Luckies, shaved every day and built shelves in his shed
He ate what Granny fixed, commented on the news and at 86 dropped dead

He never heard about high cholesterol, macular degeneration, osteoporosis or low T
Due to age occasionally claimed to be “stove up” but was only aware of his heart when he and the Parson would disagree

Perhaps our elderly were fortunate not to have their standard of living dictated by Big Pharma
They survived on their relationships with others, common sense and positive karma

They didn’t see a parade of specialists, given a pamphlet with perplexing statistics and be assigned a new high priced drug

But most of all never sat in a waiting room with two patients and five buttoned down Pharmaceutical reps all looking smug

0

Jezebelosi: History Does Repeat Itself

 

About three thousand years ago a young woman was married to Israel’s king
A headstrong woman she didn’t appreciate the religion her new subjects seemed to cling

She set about to change all that by introducing her own beliefs for all to praise
She was now a woman of power and demanded all her subordinates to accept her mores

The new Priestess then set out to destroy all who opposed her
Unlike today, killing the opposition was fair so old beliefs did not recur

Her subjects lived in fear they and their ideology would be exposed by her tirades
As her Highness’s doctrines could possibly crumble the powerful Kingdom of Israel for decades

Fast forward 3000 years and now a powerful woman is out to instill her own values on a Nation
Elected to represent an area beset with multiple problems of immigration, homelessness and high taxation

She is determined to take down the person legally voted into office by the rules of the Constitution
Using any means possible through lies and innuendo supplied by shadowy figures, she’s hoping for prosecution

Since murder is now frowned upon except in a certain former presidential society
This lady would not consider wearing that crown of notoriety

If she and her sycophants before the upcoming election could take total control
She could turn the country into her private domain without a soul

She does feel the sweat of desperation creeping into her tired leak to the media style
Easily disproved statements and secret closed door meetings have replaced her previous guile

When the next election is over and she is forced to turn over her gavel
She and her party will see the plans for a new America unravel

Unlike the Jezebel days she can’t be thrown out the window to the hungry dogs below
But she will have to hit the road back to destitute California with her pack of toadies in tow

0

But I had the Shot

The flu season is upon us, over arched eyebrows the local news person is advising the shot

The stick is easier than trying to justify your illness at the clinic with “I forgot”

Just don’t celebrate the vaccination event at your favorite diner

Because germs congregate there to turn one into a nose dripping whiner

How is that possible it’s asked, the place always looks so clean

Oh there is an effort made, it’s not the plates, flatware or cuisine

But realize in the restroom a sign states employees must wash hands before returning to work

However after washing all that is offered is an ineffective blower making it easier to wipe hands on pants where the bad germs lurk

At your seat you’re handed a laminated menu that may have been wiped down once before stacking in the hostess’ rack

But the velcro sound made when turning the pages makes one wonder if the stickiness is a disease waiting to attack

Deciding on the salad bar and half sandwich with fries you head to the bar

But the idea of grabbing the same serving tongs as the stressed daycare worker and the twelve people before her is really quite bizarre

After the salad the food is delivered and you reach for the ketchup to slather on your fries

This is the same bottle handled by the pale looking kid with goop oozing out of his eyes

But you enjoy the meal and return to the job secure in the knowledge you’ve had the vaccine

A couple of hours later your stomach feels queasy and coworkers are remarking how you look a little green

Then it hits, suddenly your mouth waters and you head to the restroom at a fast trot

Over retching sounds while trying to maintain your dignity you question the value of the shot

0

Little Girl Lost

Wake up and good morning sweet girl, pretty granddaughter
I’m very sorry due to your gender you’ll be treated like a fish out of water
You see society is determining that just wanting to be a girl is reprehensible
The fact that wanting to play with dolls and wearing curls is not defensible
You’ll soon be initiated into what was once considered alternate lifestyles
The schools will educate, social media will preach and television enforces across all dials
You’ll be introduced into sports to compete against other kids
The sports will all be gender neutral as competing your own sex the law forbids
When you finally reach high school and can compete against all female teams
Unfortunately there’s always an opponent who’s six four with a beard or so it seems
Though she identifies as a female the fact she wears a jock seems a bit discerning
You see little girl it’s all part of your life you’ll be learning
Sex education will never be the same and neither will be home ec class
The school board terrified of reprisal wants no part of a vocal group’s lambastes
The gym teacher will no longer get by with an anatomy poster and a thirty minute videotape
The instructor now comes with a laundry list covering everything from disease to rape
Advising the merits of experimentation to satisfy a growing curiosity
And for the moment it’s okay to push aside your background of religiosity
The playground groups whisper about who’s done what and who is square
So when your moment comes are you willing to try on a double dog dare
The days of high school dances cruising the strip and making out in the back seat
Have been replaced with heterosexual hesitation and hoping that doesn’t end as a bad tweet
Just wanting to be a strong free thinking woman just doesn’t cut it anymore
To be independent is considered gauche. One must embrace an alt lifestyle for society to adore
It’s a pack mentality, keeping the group intact, intimidation by numbers
Ideas impressed in young minds creating fitful dreams while one slumbers
So little one enjoy your playtime, your tea parties and dressing in Mom’s attire
As soon confusion about yourself will arise from lectures advocated as the law requires

0

Remembrance of Yesterday Blues

Well since my baby parked me
I’ve got a new place to dwell
It’s down at the end of Lonely Street
At Memory Care Hotel

Though the brochure seemed cheery
It’s fifty five grand a room
Warehoused dejected elderly
Try to smile through their gloom

You’ve made me so lonely baby
I get so lonely
Guess I’ll be lonely till I die

The food is to be Chef quality
But cold dinners out of a can
Can break a person’s spirit
Saving expenses is the meal plan

The healthcare seems basic
A retired doctor checks your ills
While you waste away in bed
The night staff steals your pain pills

I’m sorry your mom had to die
And my health is failing
Now your idea of contact
Is an occasional call and e-mailing

You’ve made me so lonely baby
I get so lonely
Guess I’ll be lonely till I die

0

The Christmas Bonus

 

Continue reading “The Christmas Bonus” →

0

This Is The House Where Genetically Modified Products Dwell

img_0907

 

This is the House where GM products dwell

This is the juice
That was in the House where GM products dwell

This is the child
That drank the juice
That was in the house where GM products dwell

This is the tumor
That killed the child
That drank the juice
That was in the house where GM products dwell

This is the seed with labels defiled
That caused the tumor
That killed the child
That drank the juice
That was in the house where GM products dwell

This is the company salesperson with slanted facts compiled
That sold the seed with labels defiled
That caused the tumor
That killed the child
That drank the juice
That was in the house where GM products dwell

These are the shareholders hiding from law suits filed
Hiring company salespeople with slanted facts compiled
Who sold the seed with labels defiled
That caused the tumor
That killed the child
That drank the juice
That was in the house where GM products dwell

This is the seed company the knowledgeable public reviled
Bowing to the shareholders hiding from law suits filed
Hiring company salespeople with slanted facts compiled
Who sold the seed with labels defiled
That caused the tumor
That killed the child
That drank the juice
That was in the house where GM products dwell

This is the White House with campaign contributions stockpiled
Given by the seed company most often reviled
Bowing to the greedy shareholders hiding from lawsuits filed
Hiring company salespeople with slanted facts compiled
Who sold the seed with labels defiled
That caused the tumor
That killed the child
That drank the juice
That was in the house where GM products dwell

This is the once proud farmer now sowing contract GM corn
Watching the sun reflect off the headstone in the glow of early morn
He had signed the seed company’s indenture so there was no other recourse
If he attempted another seed product the GM lawyers would be there to enforce
Wishing he wasn’t planting seed developed as some lab’s brainchild
A broken man he barely functions, his grief can not be reconciled

0

Chicago Sanitation: Only The Beautiful Need Apply

img_0827The casting call was on page eight of the entertainment section

Please submit a head shot and resume for inspection

An upstart company was trying to compete with television success

Another city based drama should be what the audience requests

So the casting would be done based on the customary blueprint

Get semi known people with varied levels of acting skills and make a mint

The script calls for team interactions while trying to keep out of each others’ way

But all the on camera regulars must be beautiful stated the interoffice communique

Local sanitation Teamsters 893 wouldn’t have anyone working not svelte and chiseled

People with substance abuse, relationship issues, poorly dressed may be old and grizzled

The cattle call was placed and went to all the unemployed actors

Current resumes, photos, and previous gigs were to be determining factors

The cast was to be assembled with a black candidate as the local team leader

Her job was to be tough yet empathetic and a bit of a mind reader

The powers that be are now happy as the cast will appear diversified

And that should keep the people that watch for those things mollified

You won’t see another black person unless in the background and barely on screen

The rest of the cast will be eight white guys, one Asian and one Hispanic ex marine.

Two women will also be included, one a blond and one of mixed descent

The personalities will evolve with one turning out to be a murderous malcontent

However each and everyone will be dazzling right down to their pearly whites

The men must look exceptional with their shirts off and the women in shorts and tights

One never knows when tossing a garbage container they would need to strike a pose

As many a lonely housewife or husband dreams of a sanitation worker with no clothes

The show is cast, many of the regulars straight from underwear ads

Mannequins that speak, in keeping with the network drama fads

Disasters, interoffice turmoil, and job setbacks will be thrust upon the crew

All will be resolved in 52 minutes unless there is to be a part two

The weekly dramas will continue in story lines continuously retold

A kidnapped asthmatic child locked in a dumpster and left in the cold

The drug deal drop point was a can emptied into the hero’s truck

The phone threats stating the drugs will be returned or a fan favorite is a dead duck

Of course the romantically involved regulars hilarious attempt at hiding their lust

When and where the first hookup took place is a bet by the team often discussed

Run the show as a summer replacement and notify the advertisers to buy commercial time

If it doesn’t hit right away throw in some nudity and watch the ratings climb

The crime, grime and raging libidos continue like clock work for sixteen weeks

Regardless of writing, subject matter and overall critiques

Television executives possess no imagination as shows aping shows continue forever

Copy the one show displaying some initiative, a new twist or something clever

Variety shows, westerns, detectives have all ruled the airwaves at one time or another

Flip the channel in any decade for six of one and a half dozen of the other

Currently good looking actors man every professional job under the sun

No one considered plain can ever carry a stethoscope or badge and gun

Someday the burned out public will have had enough and tune in NPR

Now that would be something unheard of and truly bizarre

2

The Walking Dead Tired

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The twice a year, government mandated jet lag is being forced upon us

The puppet masters are demanding the population be out of sync so everyone adjusts

It’s time to reset every clock in 48 states for no apparent reason

To ignore the command like not paying taxes would be considered treason

The switch from Daylight Saving Time to Standard Time is happening soon

So the evening rush hour in sudden darkness is a body shop boon

The children are still standing at the morning bus stop in the dark

It’s just as black when the afternoon soccer van pulls up for them to disembark

Forget about the massive efforts, time, and cost to change every clock

The audit of company information checking the mythical hour provides sticker shock

Four hundred thirty four million is a number provided as loss in productivity

All forfeited over a hundred year old senseless activity

But this clock setting exercise in futility is not without its’ charms

Blow dried smiling local news people get to advise to check your smoke alarms

Morning rush, meetings and appointments are all in a slow motion haze

While the government sends out pretentious messages singing the praise

Cows and chickens set their day by the sun not their time pieces

The farmers hate the time changes as their stress increases

This idea was instituted in the early twentieth century

The reason behind this notion was very elementary

This was a way to conserve power when the days were longer

From a fiscal sense the use of daylight made the idea stronger

This was before international trade, computers or air conditioning

The world’s move from agrarian to industrialization was transitioning

Twenty four hour business and seven days a week communication

But we, the sheep continue to change our clocks with out further legislation

Time changes were implemented and regulated to aid our forebears

Now our seething tempers diminish after a couple of weeks so no one cares

Heart attacks, auto accidents, and psychotic reactions, all indicate time change stress

With zombie like precision the clocks are set as the government requests

This will change as it always does, when a pregnant politician

Gives birth at 1:47 am the day of the spring forward edition

The twins will be born thirty minutes apart at just the right hour

To make the bleary eyed staff person typing the records cower

The records will show the time of delivery of the first born

Is actually after the second twin due to the hour of the morn.

0

Fluoride

poisonFluoride

Did you hear crazy Uncle Charley died today?

They laid him out all neat and fancy in a suit of gray.

In his last few years he didn’t make sense, his brain was mush

But as looney as he was he never forgot to brush.

He was always healthy, only drank water, and flossed his teeth.

So he died at fifty eight, looking real natural under the wreath.

He always heard he’d have great teeth by drinking water with fluoride.

Little did Charley know the rumor was glorified

When the airplane aluminum industry in World War II

Found a manufacturing by product was starting to accrue

They could only use this toxin to kill so many rats and mice

So they called on a company scientist for some much needed advice

The company knew it couldn’t release the poison in the atmosphere

There’d be law suits a plenty and the good company name, some would smear

So the company scientist thought of a plan to dispose of the waste

“We can put in the drinking water where it can’t be traced.”

He found a few experimental  rats didn’t have much tooth decay

And this could be a way to lead the population astray.

You see we’ll tell them this chemical hazard is good for you

People will celebrate and bid their cavities adieu

And we as a company can double our sales

We’re feed them the pitch and embellish with tall tales

We’ll get a high profile lawyer to agree with the plan

Pay one the right money and he’ll promote the sham

So communities everywhere were able to rejoice

Praising the fluoride all in one grateful voice

So for sixty or seventy years Americans have drunk the great hoax.

A little daily dose of environmental hazard won’t hurt you folks

Forget about the fact that your brain will begin accumulate

All the amyloid plaque the poison starts to stimulate

It doesn’t start late it starts in the womb

With the mother drinking water as much as she can consume

Giving up her favorite drinks, worried about the baby’s health

When the only thing accomplished was adding to one company’s wealth

The poison is in the baby’s system from day one

The future of the child’s mental capacity has begun

And don’t let your kid be healthy and play outdoors

Cause to stay hydrated, the poison drunk really soars

Now this hazard does nothing to make your water safe to drink

It takes thirty of forty years so no one sees the link

Not many older people remember a crazy grandpa or grandmom

Most sharp as a tack and very productive until time to embalm

Sure there was an occasional relative at the kids table with a bib and a spoon

But by-product water was not their mental cause before howling at the moon.

The rapid rise in dementia is terrifying to most

Since it’s a cumulative process, difficult to diagnose

So have a glass of water while studying the stats.

But better yet give it back to the rats

Or join Uncle Charley so serene on the slab.

All due to 1930’s experimental vermin conducted in a lab.

0

Sometimes You Have To Eat The Skunk

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The gentle updraft helped propel the vulture ahead

It was breakfast time and he was looking for something dead.

He’d seen a possum yesterday by the side of the road

But it was gone, “We ate it all,” the ravens crowed

Damn birds always sneaking around and eating someone’s lunch

“Oh well,” hoped the vulture. “I guess I’ll settle for brunch.”

By dinnertime his wings were tired and his stomach starting to growl

By now he wasn’t choosy just hoping for something not too foul

When a dot caught his eye by an outcropping of rocks

“Oh good, hopefully that’ll be a nice fat fox.”

But as he circled and expanding his wings for a landing

His feet touched something soft, he came to a repulsive understanding

Why no other animal was feasting on this piece of fresh protein

It had wide white stripe and the overwhelming stench of chlorine

But his stomach was howling and though it truly stunk

Caution went to the wind as sometimes you have to eat the skunk

Such is the same with all life, just like every couple

The everyday annoyances of life they learn to juggle

Life is never smooth there are many patches that are rough

The wise will say it’s those patches that makes one tough

Some foolishly rail on over a broken nail while others not enough to eat

To most it’s the everyday routine that knocks them off their feet

Starting in the morning with the slow brake tapper in the fast lane

Putting the finger waving tailgater on your bumper shouting something profane

And finding in your car park that someone’s taken your spot

So you park fifty yards away in the gravel and dirt auxiliary lot

Stepping gingerly through the chewing gum, broken glass and dog poo

Hoping you don’t bring a souvenir to the office on your shoe

Tedious morning meetings spent trying not to look down a co workers blouse

Or you’ll be accused of having elevator eyes and branded a sexist louse

Here’s a clue for those displaying cleavage and then acting offended

Use that second or third button for what it is intended

Days are squandered tapping into phone menus and watching the computer buffer

Nodding to your boss’s impossible quotas with breath that would make a fly suffer

So you stare at the floor nodding, trying to avoid the breath

That certainly could cause seizures or maybe even death

The days roll on precise in their monotonous routine

Your lunch goes missing as do your stamps and tape by thieves unseen

There’s no paper in the toilet and someone’s peed on the floor

Five can’t get here quick enough to beeline out the door

The road rage appears again in the sweltering afternoon

This time it’s a pickup being driven by a drunk looking goon

But he drives on satisfied that you know you drive like a blind old granny

And you drive on laughing that fluid was pouring out of his tranny

You arrive home just thankful that you don’t trip over any of the kids’ toys

When your wife approaches and asks you to see what’s causing her car’s noise

So you’re back in the hot garage muttering “Who would’ve thunk

That there are many days in life where you have to eat the skunk.”

0

Billary

ah3

“Thank you for coming Ms.Hinton and please have a seat.”

“We The People are delighted to have a chance to meet.”

“We’ll take a quick look at your resume, if you have any comments please pipe in.”

“So if you’re comfortable where you are let us begin.”

“It says here you graduated from Yale Law School.”

“And if I may call you Billary that would be cool.”

“It was not long before landing a job with the House Judiciary Committee.”

“You tried to deny Richard Nixon the right to counsel as you took no pity.”

“Then conspired to violate the Constitution by hiding precedent files from public view.”

“Nothing was ever proven,” Billary replied. “So those accusations are untrue.”

“Continuing on, it looks like you left the East Coast to follow your husband to Arkansas.”

“That’s correct, I went to work at Rose Hips Law Firm to dispense my take on the the law.”

“I called my husband Saxophone Willie as he liked to play with his horn.”

“And to have my shot to uphold the laws of the State as Willie has sworn.”

“You see I thought with Willie in charge as a bonus you got my judgment too.”

“His office would give me a lot of camera face time to help with my real dream to pursue.”

“So tell me about Whitewater, “said We the People. “And all that land swindle stuff.”

“Well,” she replied, “Nothing about that was ever tied to me.” Her voice angry and in a huff.

“Ma’am there are records here that shows you were involved,” stated We The People.

“Also shown is documentation of a loan official you attempted to wheedle.”

“From what I read this seems to be a veiled attempt to deceive the financial regulators.”

Again she smiled, “I was never charged with anything at all by the investigators.”

“Well let me take a second to recap the next few years of your political life.”

“They don’t seem smooth at all, in fact filled with bitterness and strife.”

“At first all was good after you went to Washington to become first lady of the United States.”

“So you now had the opportunity to have your seal on a set of White House plates.”

“It seems that as First Lady you were put in charge of a healthcare plan.”

“So instead of seasoned lawmakers, Willie decided you were best to carry the can.”

“The proposal was conceived and presented but only after the budget had been ratified.”

“And the request for additional mega dollars left the voting lawmakers mortified.”

“With the plan rejected, your time was spent defending Willie when he played with his horn.”

“And hoping that you would look stronger while trying to deflect the American people’s scorn.”

“The term First Lady meant not in charge, so maybe Senator would work out better.”

“This would slide you out of Saxophone Willie’s shadow and show you to be a true go-getter.”

“As a Senator from New York, you promised an increase in jobs.”

“You then passed along a small grant to Corning, sort of a softball lob.”

“But that did virtually nothing to increase employment in your district.”

“But to the voting public, there didn’t appear much intent to conflict.”

“But Corning was later to send many dollars to your campaign and foundation.”

“During your reign thousands of jobs disappeared, said to be economic fluctuation.”

“Seven bills were introduced by you and all seven were defeated.”

“You felt that insiders were against you by the way you were treated.”

“So forget trying to work as a team player, time to run for the President of the United States.”

“You were then defeated by an unknown man who blew past you from the starting gates.”

“It was failure by you not to realize that the young and minorities had a very strong voting bloc.”

“To ignore a large vote based on your arrogance, he had an easy time gathering his flock.”

“Later to keep you under his thumb he asked you to work for him as Secretary of State.”

“Putting on a brave front, you silently fumed your actions were his to delegate.”

“So you went out to the world to show what we represent.”

“What was left behind was a trail of ruined relationships to a large extent.”

“It seems you presented the Russian Foreign Minister with a red button reset.”

“An attempt to forgive Soviet transgressions with a silly toy was met by an eye rolling nyet.”

“The support of Egypt’s leader Morsai whom you called a peacemaker.”

“And poured billions of tax dollars into this mover and shaker.”

“The people of Egypt then overthrew your chosen man of peace.”

“As the United States influence in the middle east continued to decrease.”

“You were served with an extra large pie of crow and you had a giant slice.”

“As our former allies turned to Putin and Russia and didn’t think twice.”

“This resume states you couldn’t be bothered and played your fiddle while Benghazi burned.”

“And the calls for help prior to the attack went unanswered as you were not concerned.”

“The dead naked U.S. Ambassador was dragged through the streets but not before being tortured and raped.”

“To which you replied in a condescending tone to the inquiry, ‘What difference does it make?”

“It apparently didn’t make much difference to you, but we need to end our talk.”

“We see that you have the ability to hide the truth, you know, walk the politicians’ walk.”

We The People then asked another question. “Do you have much more to highlight?”

“Oh, I have a lot more to discuss,”said Billary. “And nothing a court can use to indict.”

“Okay, I’ll give you the short version for you the people to judge.”

“This should clarify my ability as a lawmaker so you won’t hold a grudge.”

“Though I sent my toadie into Iran to start the discussions on the nuclear deal.”

“I wasn’t there when the treaty was signed so I can’t be accused of an attempt to conceal.”

“I set up in my basement and used a private server to send and receive texts.”

“And covered it up by acting innocent, confused and perplexed.”

“Saxophone Willie had to give up his honorary position at Laureate International University.”

“It was a pay for profit school open to all people with their last dollars as one of my nods to diversity.”

“I’ve changed my stance on several items to appease this current crop of voters.”

“This has to happen as I tour different regions of the country as I am my favorite promoter.”

“I’m now for free college, revamped healthcare, and a feel good tax reform.”

We The People nodded their heads and said, “tax increases by your party run true to form.”

”You’re big into climate change, gun control and wiping out student loans.”

“With that in mind, the National Debt must be an item to condone.”

“So now it’s time now to bring in the next contender.”

“And perhaps this person might not be a multi infraction offender.”

“It looks like you have all the qualifications to be a first rate  Washington democrat.”

“Hopefully you can pull the wool over naive voters eyes before they smell a rat.”

2

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