It was Sunday, the paper’s heavy and the Classified section thick Bills are due, employment was needed and not a lot of room to cherry pick
Some new employment want ads might be a possible opportunity A new posting even shows a job hiring in a nearby community
Closer inspection reveals the job description might need translation Years of experience helped peruse the ads to avoid future frustration
Certain phrases hoist the red flags and should be discussed during the interview Notices always promises stability, excellent conditions and part of a progressive crew
However what is written and real life might be the difference of night and day A quick look at some of the phrases might eliminate frustration and paycheck dismay
Fast Paced Environment: Meaning you’re in over your head from day one As we have no training program you’ll work slavishly until deciding cut and run
Must be Flexible: We are short staffed, our place is a mess, you’d better be good with a broom Oh, and three days a week, be early as you’ll be mopping and scrubbing the restroom
Must be accurate: Pay attention to every detail, have positive attitude, and be highly organized Our manager is a nit picker, tattles to the boss for minor infractions, so you will be scrutinized
Huge Opportunity for Growth: We’re broke and have only twenty four dollars in our bank account An immediate need for you to land three huge clients within the week would be paramount
Must be a Team Player and able to Multitask: We are undisciplined and have no faith in our current staff You’ll fill in when a deadbeat doesn’t show up, you’ll do his job and yours, but first you need a polygraph
Salary Commensurate with Experience: This phrase means we’re not planning on paying the new employee squat You better be willing to work long hours for the minimum, if expecting more wear clothes that make you look hot.
Years of want ad followup has led me to these conclusions, the job just might not be as the ad appears So I’ll tell the unemployment lady I’m still out looking and have myself a few more beers.