“Hello Sir and welcome to the The Porkalooza Pit House.”
“And what can I get for you and your spouse?”
The young man looked all fancy and neat in his white shirt and paper hat
Little did he knew he had crossed the new kind of American always ready for a spat
“And what makes you think this is my wife,” the customer snapped.
The startled young man glanced up, feeling he had just been trapped
The surprised look was all the customer needed to turn up the heat
And in just a matter of time he knew he’d have some new material to tweet
“Because of your obvious lack of training let me enlighten you on a thing or two,
And then you might know something other than how to make stew,”
“This is a different world sonny,” said the customer. “People now are easy to offend
“You’re probably making eight bucks an hour and on a road to a dead end.”
“It also bothers me you have an American flag flying out front on the pole.”
“Why not flags of other nations?” he snarled feeling as he was on a roll.
“Sir if I may,” asked the server. “Could you place your order please?”
“No, it doesn’t please,” mimicked the man staring at the chalk board.
“Give me two of the number twos,” said the man in an effort to sound bored.
“Is this it for the menu or is number two the specialty of this greasy spoon?
And hopefully to whatever diseases are jumping off the plate I’ll be immune.”
“Two number twos coming right up,” said the server. “For here or to go?”
“Well to go now,” growled the customer. “Because you’ve been nothing but slow.”
“I see your restrooms are closed for repair, so we are now reduced to using the Port a Can?”
“For my partner to use, it better have paper, smell fresh and be spic and span”
“While we’re waiting I suppose this alleged food comes from an environmentally unsafe farm.”
“You park a lot of hogs together and the surrounding area suffers great harm.”
“And what if I was a Muslim? Would you still offer meat from an animal with cloven hoof.”
The customer was now raising his voice sounding indignant and aloof.
“Well,” replied the server.” “We don’t get a lot of Muslims here.”
“The last one in was just lost and needed to know which way to steer.”
“Are you being smart with me?” snapped the customer clearly annoyed.
“Keep that attitude up and I’ll see you’re unemployed.”
“Is this going to take all day? I’ve got an important meeting to attend.”
“I know that is hard for someone like you to comprehend.”
“You see I’m trying to help the underprivileged and poor.”
“It’s trying to defeat the elitist attitude of some I deplore.”
“You see the time has come for progressive thought in this land.”
“We’re standing up for the poor people and making the demand.”
“That those people in low income housing, working in jobs paying poor wages.”
“Will get better pay, better homes and health care exchanges”
“So speed it up there boy, look alive, I’ve got to leave.”
“As dealing with incompetents like you is a pet peeve.”
“Let me check in the back,” said the server.”To see how long it will be,
Because making important people wait is not my cup of tea.”
Returning in just a couple of minutes the kid was almost beaming
“Alright here you go two number twos hot and steaming.”
Grabbing the bags the couple stormed out without a thanks
The young man laughed out loud at one of his better pranks
“Don’t come in to our place acting like such a louse,
Cause the sign out front might say Porkalooza Pit House.”
“But my dead end road stopped just inside the Port a Can.”
“Where the two number twos were scraped off the proverbial fan.”