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A Daily Observer in Bad Poetry

Humor in Daily Life, Politics and Sports

Category

political correctness

Little Girl Lost

Wake up and good morning sweet girl, pretty granddaughter
I’m very sorry due to your gender you’ll be treated like a fish out of water
You see society is determining that just wanting to be a girl is reprehensible
The fact that wanting to play with dolls and wearing curls is not defensible
You’ll soon be initiated into what was once considered alternate lifestyles
The schools will educate, social media will preach and television enforces across all dials
You’ll be introduced into sports to compete against other kids
The sports will all be gender neutral as competing your own sex the law forbids
When you finally reach high school and can compete against all female teams
Unfortunately there’s always an opponent who’s six four with a beard or so it seems
Though she identifies as a female the fact she wears a jock seems a bit discerning
You see little girl it’s all part of your life you’ll be learning
Sex education will never be the same and neither will be home ec class
The school board terrified of reprisal wants no part of a vocal group’s lambastes
The gym teacher will no longer get by with an anatomy poster and a thirty minute videotape
The instructor now comes with a laundry list covering everything from disease to rape
Advising the merits of experimentation to satisfy a growing curiosity
And for the moment it’s okay to push aside your background of religiosity
The playground groups whisper about who’s done what and who is square
So when your moment comes are you willing to try on a double dog dare
The days of high school dances cruising the strip and making out in the back seat
Have been replaced with heterosexual hesitation and hoping that doesn’t end as a bad tweet
Just wanting to be a strong free thinking woman just doesn’t cut it anymore
To be independent is considered gauche. One must embrace an alt lifestyle for society to adore
It’s a pack mentality, keeping the group intact, intimidation by numbers
Ideas impressed in young minds creating fitful dreams while one slumbers
So little one enjoy your playtime, your tea parties and dressing in Mom’s attire
As soon confusion about yourself will arise from lectures advocated as the law requires

They Don’t Make ‘Em Like The Cartwrights Anymore

img_0868Time was in the 1950’s and 60’s TV westerns ruled the prime time airwaves

Family interaction, life lessons learned and good verses evil were what America craves

Shows crowded the evening line up with admirable people defending what is theirs

Against the likes of droughts, intruders and a gunman’s icy stares

Everything had order, good guys wore white hats and women apron strings

In the end blissful couples rode into the sunset while the bad guy swings

Times have changed, entertainment must toe the mark of politically correct

The shows must appease all factions of the population or a group will vehemently object

Let’s look at what three shows were like then and how they might appear now

Back when broadcasts were for entertainment not today’s attitude of holier than thou

Bonanza: A sprawling saga of a widower and his three sons laying claim to a quarter of Nevada

They controlled the mining, logging and cattle trade pretty much the whole enchilada

Patriarch Ben would squire all eligible ladies with charm and an occasional mimosa

Until he took them out on a buggy ride to show them his huge Ponderosa

Adam, the eldest was aloof cultured and educated with a law degree

He hoped for grassroots support and to run for office as a governor nominee

Hoss the middle son was huge and cuddly but could give bad guys a serious “lickin”

But the Chinese cook Hop Sing stayed furious at him for eating all the “flied” chicken

Little Joe the youngest was quick with fists and gun while chasing anything in a skirt

But marry just one and a crazed animal stampede would stomp her into the dirt

Bonanza 2019: Not the same show as the the characters have been updated and modernized

The politically correct scripts are now written so the clan appears duly propagandized

Ben: Now an old white guy mostly a front porch sitter with a cane and fly swatter

After a newsprint article revealed him advising a woman in lieu of rent how to remain a squatter

Adam: After a failed attempt at public office opened a store for payday loans

In addition to the Ponderosa most of the titles to the surrounding ranches he now owns

Hoss: Tired of years of back breaking farm work and shoveling horse manure

He decided to open a chain of dining establishments and has become quite the entrepreneur

Joselito: Now in show business working as a cross dressing saloon singer known as the Silk Tornado

Adored by throngs of rhinestone cowboys for his haunting rendition of “The Streets of Laredo”

The Rifleman: A dirt farmer scratching out a living with his son and a modified rapid fire rifle

Soon the bad guys in the area found that this was a man not to trifle

He was Lucas Boy to the sheriff and helped him out of many scrapes

Such as gold heists, wanted gunslingers and jail house escapes

Son Mark when in trouble knew all he had to do was holler “Paw Paw”

And Lucas would drill six slugs into the bad guy before he had a chance to draw

The Rifleman 2019: The townspeople weary of flying bullets and violence they could not condone

Banned the multi-shot rifle and and declared the town a gun free zone

Lucas reduced to hurling rocks and insults had enough and decided to retire

Works now part time in a carnival as a trick shot artist and his beloved rifle he still gets to fire

Now fifty seven Mark diagnosed as obsessive compulsive has not fared nearly as well

Weary of the constant yelling of Paw Paw the town folk locked him in a shed behind the hotel

The Lone Ranger: In most westerns women were notably absent or shown as saloon girls or school marms

Those seemed to be the only occupations available when they came in from the farms

The Lone Ranger had no women either just his faithful side kick Tonto

A native American he traveled with the mysterious lawman using a gun not a bow

Together they would strike fear into bad guys all over the west

Quick to dispense both wisdom and and bullets they were two of the best

The Lone Ranger 2019: Though the characters look the same, they’re portrayed in a different light

Oh they’ll search for truth and justice and give the bad guys a fight

Still dressed in tight light blue attire with a black mask and white cowboy hat

He fires silver bullets a souvenir for the undertaker after he lays the bad guy out flat

He rides a big white horse and a saddle adorned with inlaid decoration

And Tonto still says Kemosabe a lot and looks at him with admiration

Only now by the glow of the campfire after the light of the day

One might hear Tonto demanding more Kemosabe while the Lone Ranger cries Hi O Silver Awaaayyyy

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