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The Kids Are In Charge

The stiff orangish hair scarcely moved when he spoke

The crowd cheered at every word and every attempt at a joke

He’d assembled a crack team, it was time to make America great again

The team was new and fresh-faced. They were there to make waves and criminals will be jailed. Turns out they’re beginning to look like the administration’s clownish pitchmen

They’ve made multiple appearances, did many sound bites, and multiple quotes have shown up in the press

But the nightly news coverage is and always been featuring the same paid tired multi-hued people with their protests

In reality the slimy congressional people should be shaking in their boots

But it’s business as usual and about the republican saber-rattling not giving two hoots

So the insider trading continues. The innuendo and the outright lies are forced down the citizens’ throats nightly

As the leftist media looks directly into the camera lens and spews their rhetoric in the rehearsed manner considered forthrightly

While the only notable trace of the new Cabinet is their absence of actions

Indignant replies seem to be the only Cabinet reactions

Attorney General Pam Bondi hosted a meeting to fight the anti-Christian bias and protect American’s first amendment rights

Of course talk is cheap and this committee will sit on their thumbs scared of the riots any new ruling incites

The immigration mass deportation of the 14 million migrants has amounted to a whisper in a windstorm

With just under 38,000 deported in the first month, in approximately 300 years this administration will have shipped the last coffins out of the country they’ll be proud to inform

Spending more time covering their tracks than helping the American people multiple appointees are answering for their political fumbles

Tulsi Gabbard Director of National Intelligence refused to answer a question about a leak in a group chat as the Trump inner circle grumbles

Kristi Noem the Homeland Security Secretary had her purse stolen. Should America be suddenly worried about the national electrical grid?

And Pete Hegseth the Secretary of Defense apparently texted war plans to unqualified people both known and unknown wishing the damage could be undid

Watching this house of cards sway in the breeze the democrats are beside themselves with glee

No one’s going to prosecute them so they’ll continue their criminal activity and wander the streets scot free

0

When Is Enough, Enough?

The contemptible treatment of American citizens continues in full force. Yet we stand by and watch this behavior evolve

Bomb a few here, run down a few there, drain America’s resources, and throttle America’s resolve

Watch as parents and relatives mourn the latest deadly incident

As unarmed people going about their business are gone in an instant

Gathered around their sets America watches as clueless members of the FBI and local law enforcement stumble through politically correct remarks

Delivered by the unprepared person hired because they checked the proper gender and skin color boxes while kissing the proper ass as their new career embarks

Fast-tracked to positions of authority due to DEI directives

And taught by example the ability to hide behind woke perspectives

“It’s okay, America’s safe,” is the stated mantra of the politicians

While the third world migrants pray to their gods and stockpile munitions

“Everything’s fine,” states the father around the dinner table trying to quell the look of fear in a little one’s eyes

As two doors down that “nice quiet” man on his table is laying out his bomb making supplies

Surely it can’t happen here, this kind of stuff only goes on in cities with a large population

And watching tragedy after tragedy unfold as the third world free loaders rejoice in murderous celebration

Meanwhile, the American populace is pushed aside with a second rate education, insurance governed healthcare, political regulations, and in checkout lines

But you’re considered a racist to oppose this current administration’s indisputable woke designs

America is at a turning point. Mayberry and Leave it to Beaver are long in the rearview mirror

Goober now has no gender and uses different pronouns and the new Beaver is a lot queerer

So the pampered ignorant march and hold their third world flags high praising the current ruthless dictator

As the people they are praising busy themselves for an all out holy war on all natural citizens as their doctrine allows them to be the only true American hater

0

Hookers To Hunters

Recently this administration has changed names on American institutions in an effort to make all things fair

One can’t expect to plod through life when seeing a certain name can trigger a feeling of despair

In fact the Reconciliation of Place Names Act was sponsored by Senators Ed Markey and who else but the beer chugging headdress wearing Elizabeth Warren

There are apparently 1441 public spaces whose name could signal oppression to people both domestic and foreign

Another pat on the back goes to the government for focusing attention on the names of certain places while migrants, the homeless, and disabled vets line the streets

The economy, on a nonstop downward spiral for the last three years, is shown to be great by the democratic election committee with finagled spreadsheets

Shootings, robberies, and a continuing attack on innocents are no longer even headlines

People are staying in defending what they own as their belief in the government continuously declines

Public schools are being renamed in this purge of anything distressing

But being run by the local liberal school boards and the hapless greedy teachers union, this is merely window dressing

Military bases are not exempt from this renaming madness

To the thousands of GI’s that trained in the hot Georgia sun at Fort Benning this has to be a feeling of sadness

The same goes for Fort Bragg currently Fort Liberty. Sounding a little like a Disney World theme park, but that is to be expected when now one has to salute a man wearing a dress

While the Army continuously fails in its recruiting goals, the Biden administration calls this real progress

So when it comes to renaming institutions it’s now time to rethink a term for America’s oldest past time

The Civil War Union officer Joseph Hooker used to round up women of ill repute to entertain his officers once they washed off the grime

Those women eventually became known as hookers but in today’s changing era it is time for another designation

In keeping with Congress’ push to eliminate all history and stand firmly behind its own socialist legislation

The new name should be one that represents this government ‘s idea of its new society

And one somebody can remember in its simplicity and notoriety

Hence, from today forward all hookers will be referred to as hunters after the President’s son

He embodies this administration with his lying, cheating, money laundering, drug use, perverted sexual appetites, and ownership of an illegal gun

Though the real hookers might object to being named after this viper

At least they don’t have to stand down wind from the President’s diaper

0

Put On Those High Heeled Sneakers

“Girls we simply must do something,” stated Deb Les. “This new Title IX is stealing our thunder”

The group of drag queens were assembled at the pre-show table wondering if this administration had created yet another blunder

Looking around the group of partially made-up queens Deb Les asked almost rhetorically, “Any suggestions?”

All heads turned away as none of the six had an answer for any questions

Finally, Rhoda Big spoke. “You know with this new ruling we’re losing a great deal of drag queen shock”

“Normally we just had to turn on the lights and to our revue people would flock”

“Now the press has stopped coming and even our story time at the library has become a show for the same kids and moms”

“For the longest time no one has threatened us with beatings, shootings or bombs”

One could hear a pin drop after that statement as it was obvious the queens needed a plan

“We need something sooner than later,” said Sally Tight Pants. “Otherwise I’ll have to go back to just being a man”

“Oh my, yes dear,” piped up Holly Hot Pepper. “I’d hate the idea of nothing to look forward to after a hectic week of being a DMV clerk”

“And missing the roar of the crowd after ending my routine with a 30-second rapid fire twerk”

“Anyone can now walk into any locker room they want to watch a woman shower”

“It takes the jolt out of my routine by flashing a tiny bit of my flower”

“The mystery is gone when it’s open season on restrooms, locker rooms, and dressing rooms for anyone to see”

“People would stop coming or caring for that matter and this I guarantee”

“I wanted to get your thoughts about this situation with the new ruling,” said Deb Les. “Believe me when I say I don’t want to be remembered as only a fourth grade teacher”

“So what we’ll do is come up with an entirely new act with our athletic prowess being the main feature

“We’ll contact the other queens and form a basketball dunk league and to make it special the uniforms will be our own costumes”

“And the winners will receive a rhinestone tiara and specially colored ostrich plumes”

“Points will be awarded for speed, dance moves and dunking style”

“And at the end of the season a Grand Queen will be announced from the points they will compile”

“The sports betting companies will have to get involved with all the action”

Then television, action figures, and commercial endorsements should all fall into place to everyone’s satisfaction”

“So girls lets all go home and lace up those high heeled sneakers”

“And hear our name blasted through the arena’s twenty foot speakers”

0

It Used to be just the Girl’s Gym Teacher

Back in the day teachers were respected. They were mini-pillars of society

They had mastered the look that would stop a sixth grader in their tracks for any perceived inpropriety

Conservatively dressed with clunky heels and glasses on a chain dangling from their neck

With a raised eyebrow suggesting that the answer on that last problem, you may want to double-check

This applied to all subjects until middle school’s first day of class and all were in the gym sitting on a bleacher

When a whistle shrieked through the cacophony of noise and there stood the girl’s PE teacher

Standing a stout five-foot six, wearing no wedding ring and a manner that said you’ll play field hockey and like it

But first you have to buy those ridiculous onesie gym uniforms that never seem to fit

Under her watchful eye the girls all marched into their locker room to change and then hone up on their volleyball skills

And beginning to understand those whispered rumors that at night between the sheets it wasn’t a man that gave her thrills

But that was then and this is now. Schools have lost their vision of education first

Teachers have evolved into a group that collectively practice active shooter drills should worst come to worst

Students are no longer disciplined for chewing gum and running in the halls

They are now trying to survive the daily stress of learning, forming relationships and avoiding racial brawls

Athletes are worshiped beyond belief and the pressure to put out on demand is never ending

Young women who long ago gave up on the Disney Princess idea are now looking to achieve love with whatever is trending

Enter the new breed of teacher who just might be enlisting kids into their new Everyone is Welcome Club

Open to all students who are tired of fighting off handsey boys, with adolescent longings in need of a friend, and the ones who are truly bothered by the in-crowd snub

Pamphlets are available and written to say a student has a right to question their identity

Rejecting the ideals of their parents and having someone new and exciting to focus on their needs is the clubs offered amenity

School hiring practices are now open to newcomers with no experience, look different and have no felony criminal record

The school board, smug with their new-found power bow to the union’s ultimatums and how the achievement tests were scored

So the lonely kids are easy prey to the alternate lifestyle activists when all they’re really looking for is understanding

Will soon become confused voices in the turbulence of society shouting the requirements their new-found genders will be demanding

0

A Trip To The Trans Zoo

The field trip was the big event for the week. The progressive pre-k was going to the Trans Zoo

The little wokesters were all excited to see the new breed of animals from the strutting ostriches to the flamboyant kangaroo

The kids all piled off the minibus with their name tags and official Trans Zoo coloring book

Squealing with delight at the rogue elephant wearing eye shadow, the lioness wearing a wig, and the penguin in high heels, they all pressed closer to get a better look

The woke teachers were quick to point out how these animals were special, and they were different from just boys and girls

Just like that big gorilla in a dress and a hat accentuated by the double strings of pearls

The kids shrieked loudly as the trained giraffes performed a strange dance wearing rhinestone g-strings

And they cheered and clapped at the pink flamingos that had dyed their feathers purple only seen when they spread their wings

“You see kids, you don’t have to grow up to be just boys or girls,” stated the teacher’s aide.

Proudly observing she could see the little kids’ minds turning hoping her message of gender dysphoria had been properly conveyed

The children were all nodding like they understood until little Johnny raised his hand

“What happened to the petting zoo?” It used to be over there where it’s now a stage and a grandstand”

“What happened to the babies? Last time we were here we got to feed a little llama”

“We fed it milk from a bottle that was made by its mama”

“Well Johnny,” stated the aide, “There are no more babies as these animals can’t make a little one”

“You see Johnny, these animals were operated on, so they can never have a daughter or a son”

“These animals are special. The zoo decided that in order to be different they should never be able to reproduce”

“That’s not fair,” screamed little Johnny. “We should be able to feed the babies and not just look at a panty hose wearing moose”

“Besides without babies this zoo won’t be here very long.”

“These animals are going to get old and no one wants to look at a decrepit pig with lipstick wearing a thong”

3

Woman Light

Presently there’s a media blow-up over some trans dude with his pic on a can of Bud Light

Demonstrating once again it doesn’t take much for people from either side of the coin to be ready to fight

One shouldn’t blame the woke VP that green lighted the trans ad campaign as she was only following the current woke media trend

The media darlings emphasized are portrayed by unisex drones unable to think beyond what the current TikTok influencers recommend

Forget about evolution. Build a better gender through medicine and science.

And put those, inflexible in their beliefs, women back behind a household appliance

The media has always mollified women with just a cursory nod to the brilliant and brave

Joan of Arc and Madam Curie both mocked for their gender, ended as heroines, but their exploits led to an early grave

Of course there were assorted queens through the centuries but they obtained their status through marriage or birthright

But the everyday woman is continuously pushed aside, as beyond an occasional sex symbol, they just don’t seem to excite

The media was quick to take up women’s causes, and just as quickly dismissed them.

June Cleaver morphed into stronger roles such as Police Woman or Mary Tyler Moore. Now those roles as professionals are awarded to the femme

On the other hand, the folks declaring as trans seem to be highlighted as members of Biden’s cabinet or a sports figure

Their attempt at the opposite sex appears to be desperate as their mirror gives them a different vision than the finished product the public sees and what the doctor was trying to configure

Once again regulated to the back of the bus, women have to endure the current fad of whom the media adore

Women need to show Washington and the media that those faking their genders require no celebration and women don’t need to adjust their lives around these few anymore

0

What Happened to the Tip Jar?

Before the order was placed, the greasy screen was swiveled to face the customer and digitally asked how much they wanted to tip

Fearful of what they might find lurking in the order, the customer entered the minimum shown hoping the employee putting the food order together didn’t add a surprise from their recent bathroom trip

Back in the day, one left a tip for good food, service and atmosphere

Nowadays one tips for anticipated service, or they might find a foreign object floating in their beer

It seems this trend for upfront tipping started with the great pandemic hoax

With the media, the “experts,” and this administration creating the hysteria and all the paranoia their daily lectures evokes

Before one gets to smell, taste or observe their serving a screen is swiveled around to incite one’s level of guilt

Because the rumor floating around is that a friend of a distant relative didn’t tip and something was placed in his food that got him “kilt”

Besides no one wants to lift the crown of their bun and wonder if the spread used was really the secret sauce

So a tip before anything is delivered seems a small price to pay added to the food costs

This practice has the potential to spread like wild fire throughout every industry

Soon upfront tipping will be mandatory or risk the chance of increasing one’s morbidity

Your upcoming surgery? How much are you going to leave the anesthesiologist?

Do you want a second year med student administering the gas or someone you can trust?

How much are you giving the bus driver for your round trip ticket to the airline departure gate?

The amount advised could make the difference between arriving on time or three hours late after cruising down the wrong interstate

The tip list is now seems indefinite but it is guaranteed to end with how much are you going tip your government representative

After the influence peddling, insider trading, and lobbyist payola, a yearly tip called taxes is paid before service but this time to your wants and needs, the people behind the screen really are insensitive

0

Operation Potato Head: The New Woke Parent Board Game

Back in the day children were delighted to receive the games of Mr Potato Head and Operation

With Mr Potato Head, kids could spend hours with a spud and various facial features creating a hilarious figuration

With Operation a battery powered character was “operated” on with tweezers as the participants tried to remove body parts and not light the patient’s nose

But that was then as some of today’s teenagers are the gender creation of a sad game today’s woke parents chose

Hopping on the gender dysphoria bandwagon, parents feel because little Johnny was found trying to balance in mama’s heels he wants to be a girl

A hilarious TicTok video was produced as little Johnny wobbled about and with a dress supplied by mama, tried to whirl

Tomboy Suzie likes baseball and to play with Tonka trucks so let’s do a radical mastectomy and fill her full of never ending shots of testosterone

All because of something that was read on a website while browsing for hair products on the phone

So the game continues as now real body parts are removed and other surgically manufactured parts are substituted in their place

Egged on by frustrated, cruel educators and misguided health clinicians, the little kids were handed a heavy burden in the human race

But the woke parents never pass an opportunity for a photo op to pose with the mirthless human they created

As the poor kids bravely stand next to the smiling parent as their lot in life had already been dictated

Would this child choose this lifestyle if the parents had waited until this child turned eighteen?

A lifetime of ostracism, looks of ridicule, and the continual pain of hormone shots all because a parent decided they had a right to alter a DNA gene

So the new world had turned kids playing a game into parents playing a game with kids

And then be furious with the few states that this barbaric game with children the law forbids

0

In Search of the Thin Skinned Race

The years of study were reaching completion. The tweed clad professor was leading his class of wide-eyed students in search of a lost civilization.

The professor, wishing he could pull off the fedora and whip look, had to settle for elbow patches and bug repellent for this exploration

This group was searching for an extinct, short lived society that had seemingly vanished over the course of fifty years

These people commonly known as the thin skinned had risen up and then disappeared almost as fast due to trying to survive with their liberal arts careers

The study group was transported to a region formerly known as a large urban area rendered uninhabitable years ago

The thin skinned had once thrived in this environment but fears of climate change and the inevitable loss of the power grid had been the final blow

The professor and his students were out to prove that if they could find just one thin skin trapped beneath the rubble of a Starbucks, through cell regeneration they might revive the species

Suddenly a student shouted in jubilation as an intact cadaver was found in the burnt hull of a hybrid Mitsubishi

The professor knew that much like a mule this particular group of humans had morphed into androgynous creatures

This find was remarkable in that the body displayed an open mouth from both non-stop yelling and crying, exceptionally thin skin, and various colors in the remaining tufts of hair. This find had all the required features

Unable to procreate this race had rapidly died out or relocated to Canada where unrelenting taxes, rules, regulations and a brutal police state had forced them into being cowardly mindless drones

Soon frozen to death in the harsh winters, DNA replication was impossible as there remained only contaminated unusable dust left from the bones

So this find was doubly important as this once living being was found in a fetal position with its arms cradled around what appeared to be a bankers box

As the body was carefully pried away from the box the words Top Secret were on the side and the box seemed to be full of docs

Ignoring protocol, the professor carefully removed the lid hoping his selfish move would not be something he would come to regret

And there in bold letters next to the Top Secret stencil were instructions to store the box in Biden’s garage behind his Corvette

0

Federal Bureau of Immorality

The beautiful FBI people closed in on the evil doers. Their plan had worked to perfection

The execution was flawless as two bad guys were dead and the informant was in witness protection

Then the director yelled “cut” and the assembled actors all headed to the catering truck

When in real life a group of stressed agents were assembled trying to figure the best way, of the latest controversy, to duck

The FBI was long portrayed as the last bastion of protection from criminals both foreign and domestic

TV shows, newspaper articles and even comic books all had the integrity of the FBI shown in a light that was quite majestic

But that was then and this is now. The FBI has turned into a group of leftist protecting lap dogs for any current political cause

It doesn’t matter anymore this group of gun carrying suits are sworn to protect constitutional laws

One would need a few hours to read through a list of controversies involving the FBI just over the past few years

A lot of the reading would be taken up by the Clinton crime syndicate, then the multiple red flag school shootings and the gymnasts sex abuse tears

The revolving door firings of the fence posts and hustlers that headed the FBI would also take up a lot of time

The fact is, the FBI would probably implode if they prosecuted their own agents involved in crime

The FBI’s list of missteps continue to swell, the lies and cover ups endure as across this administration the falsehoods sprawl

One thing is certain however, as new fabrications are presented as “evidence” agents avoid the Post Office as they may see their own picture hanging on the wall

0

A Cow Breaks Wind in Iowa and a Tsunami Warning is Issued in Japan

It’s pastime to do something. The deranged climate change advocates were hysterical

The population will have to line up, open their wallets and rearrange their lives as that is only ethical

The elites have spoken. If you sorry individuals haven’t come to the realization the end is near

Then clean water, air, food, and certain populations will all disappear

Oil, air conditioning, and beef are all on the chopping block

Future barbecues will soon be limited to a stir-fry of tofu and artificial beef pieces cooked on an electric wok

The puppet masters are controlling the citizens as they fly overhead in their carbon emitting jets preaching the climate change gospel

Always keep in mind their needs are met by private planes, cars, and boats all powered by oil squeezed from a fossil

The tornado, the hurricane, and the drought are all the fault of everyday citizens living their daily lives

It’s the corruption of the middle class because to earn a living and pay their taxes, everyone drives

The horror on the faces of congress tells the story that survival depends on the New Green Deal

Demanding people pay through the nose, be controlled by the government, and at the foot of the democrats be forced to kneel

Climate change is a tool to control peace time citizens and is of little value to a high profile leader from a besieged country calling for World War Three

The devastation of a nuclear war overrides any idea of 1/2 degree centigrade change in the earth’s temperature when your countryside and the western hemisphere is a pile of radioactive smoldering debris

It also doesn’t matter that plastics are now found in the food we eat, in our lungs and has polluted every ocean

Forget the fact the products manufactured under the Green New Deal line the elites’ pockets while hiding behind the climate activists’ contrived commotion

While they sit back sipping from single use water bottles and push the requirement of non recyclable plastics and batteries found in every e-car

A suggestion might be to clean up the worldwide polluting plastic industry before listening to anymore drivel from the mouth of a pretentious energy czar

0

Dress Right, Dress

George Orwell wrote that, “We sleep peacefully in our beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on our behalf”

That was then and this is now as we stand ready to hear our doddering and demented President’s latest gaffe

Sadly, our country has become a laughingstock for their lack of leadership and military planning

Run from Afghanistan leaving citizens and equipment behind but call someone by the wrong pronoun and that is an unforgivable offense the Army is banning

By the end of September all Army personnel will undergo sensitivity training and be fully aware of gender dysphoria

Causing the Washington left wing policymakers reason for celebration and heightened euphoria

“I am not afraid of an Army of lions led by sheep; I am afraid of an Army of sheep led by a lion” so stated Alexander the Great

With conflicts flaring around the world, orders need to be carried out by future soldiers without first a gender debate

As of March 13th 1300 Ukrainian fighters lost their lives defending their country from Russian invaders

They were dying for something they believed in and not to appease a group of woke corrupted political crusaders

“I don’t know what effect these men will have on the enemy, but, by God they terrify me,” said the Duke of Wellington in a quote from the past

American soil was furiously defended by farmers, factory workers, and school teachers in the trenches covered with mud and blood until they breathed their last

They didn’t need to rely on someone in their foxhole in the midst of gender transition or offended by the use of an inappropriate pronoun

They fought because their buddies had their back and toughness came to the surface when the chips were down

Now it looks as though the Army is more into fashion and wokeness while giving a whole new meaning to Dress Right, Dress

Spending time in sensitivity training may not be the best use of resources in these dangerous times but at least the Pentagon can call it progress

0

We Expect Kickoff Within The Hour

The uproar was immediate. The woke NFL will now be playing the Black National Anthem prior to games

The furor was not from the beer fueled fans packing the stands, the cry was politicized groups feeling dissed were the claims

Soon the NFL was forced to acknowledge multiple cultures and lifestyles just to appease the many groups

In a misguided effort to mollify one group the NFL was now forced to jump through numerous hoops

While the crowd was still standing, next up to salute was the LGBTQ congregate with Queen’s We Are Champions of the World

As two transgender athletes marched across the field with the Pride flag unfurled

“We ask that you remain standing” said the announcer “While we honor the democrats”

Whilst the flag of Communist China was paraded across the field by two unemployed voters and six Chinese diplomats

The boos started raining down on the next participants as the elephant logo’d Republican flag came into view

The flag bearers didn’t seem to care the crowd was fearful that eight yahoos, one in buffalo horns, might hijack the game attempting an alleged coup

Finally last but not least was the nod to the Polish people with the high stepping tuba line

With the flag flying and the ooompahs blaring the end of the pregame was in sight and the fans could finally sit down and recline

The fans had started to weave from standing too long as the pregame had become an ordeal

So as the crowd settled in to watch controlled violence, they all wished they could have been with the players and allowed to kneel

2

This Birthing Person Hasn’t Been To Europe Either

The clock clicked over to 5:45 in the morning and the alarm began it’s annoying beep

It was time to start the day, the night had been short but there were obligations to keep

Make the coffee, feed the cat and make the lunches for the kid’s one day a week at school

Quietly laughing at herself that she sounded like her mother with yesterday’s “say so” rule

The routine needed to be kept, there were no time allowances for car repairs, a plumber or a doctor’s visit for a cough and a runny nose

What used to be considered just a cold now required examination, testing and waiting for a clinician to diagnose

Her husband couldn’t be a lot of help as his sales job kept him stressed and on the road

She’d taken a part time job at the local bank so juggling her kids activities and her job were required just to take in more than they owed

Purchases were mainly for food, clothes for the kids and to keep the lights burning

A new wardrobe for herself was out of the question but wearing a new sweater over her three year old dress would would stay in budget for what they were earning

No, she hasn’t been to Europe but a four day weekend in Panama City would be a real treat

What was once a spur of the moment, beer fueled getaway would now be considered a luxurious retreat

So this so called birthing person trudges on in her daily grind but wouldn’t trade her life for any other

Because in spite of the scraped knees, teachers conferences and any number of sweltering ball games she is still proud to call herself a mother

0

Horton Hears A Commie

The speck of dust floated past as Horton cooled in his pool

Tiny voices were screaming obscenities from the dust to cancel books from their preschool

Horton’s big heart was saddened as he was sure the Sneetches were behind all this fuss

These Sneetches appointed themselves as knowing what’s best for everyone and that is what really disgusts

They felt chosen as they alone had the ear of their new puppet leader who hides in his basement

The Sneetches knew they had to cancel everything they didn’t like before this stammering ruler needs a replacement

Horton was just not sure what to do about this new group of angry Sneetches

They all felt they had the right to dictate everyone’s thoughts as they lived behind their walls on their private beaches

The old Sneetches had a star on them that once removed they all became decent creatures

But this new group had no stars just an angry attitude, an ignorant philosophy and yet appointed themselves as omnipotent teachers

“These books are bad,” they screamed. “We reserve the right to cancel any thought outside of ours”

The Sneetches now masquerade as normal people as they don’t have any identifying stars

Horton has heard what happens when books are banned

Little creatures are squashed as an elite few become rulers of the land

“The more you read, the more things you will know

The more that you learn, the more places you will go”

Horton knew that from books he had read

So he thought hard what to do with that dust speck before his nation was mislead

Suddenly a great idea came to him before the whole country was exposed to this disgrace

He sucked that dust particle into his trunk and with all his might blew that speck into outer space

0

The Chick Kick

the chick kick

The Vanderbilt football team was struggling through a winless season

Covid cancellations, players opting out and a very tough schedule were the given reasons

Socially distanced fans were keeping their distance by staying miles away

To keep the team relevant a soccer player from the women’s team was brought in creating a feminist red letter day

The teams regular kicker had tested positive and was on virus restrictions

Adding a woman to the team could generate interest and boost contributions a cure all prescriptions

Praising the move as bold, celebrities and sports networks lined up to sing their praises

But does this really provide equality on the the field is a question this move raises

Sure it was was a touchstone moment created watching a point after a touchdown sail through the goal posts

But in reality women’s sports shouldn’t be raising their glasses in too many unbridled toasts

This appears to open the door for the elimination of women’s’ sports as we know it today

The original idea of Title IX will be steamrolled and become passe

It’s been years since jokes were heard about Russian women competing with their low hanging widget

Swearing to all that would listen in the Olympic world they were 100% female and were legit

But now all that is off the table as equality has to work both ways

Because women, women born men and men can now take their place on the women’s dais

A guy looking for a free ride can take his low handicap even lower by hitting from the red tees

He can charge through the field in women’s golf tournaments and win in a breeze

Pick a sport and all genders can compete for a roster spot on the same team

The idea that genders can compete only against other like genders might just be a vanishing dream

The door has been opened for true gender equality and women’s’ sports will be redefined

As it may have been two points for the Vanderbilt football team but a giant leap backwards for all of mankind

0

Sometimes I Feel Like my Butt Is Hanging Over the Pool At Gatorland

IMG_3136 (2)

For those that don’t know Gatorland is an old school Florida attraction

The main show involves a man leaning over a pool of hungry gators holding a chicken having faith in his reaction

The alligators come about five feet out of the water to snap up the whole fryer

The man on the platform is held in place by a thick leather strap should a body part the jaws acquire

Chomp

In today’s uncertain times I feel like it’s my butt hanging over the lagoon

Venture out for any purpose and the cancel culture is there to rip you apart and leave body parts strewn

Join the movement, protest and destruct while hiding behind Black Lives Matter

Or be labeled a white supremacist and the movement serves your head on a platter

You’re be required to love all as you would kinfolk

Anything different, mayhem and violence you’ll provoke

It’s of little consequence the person you’re to love is a callous lawbreaker

Unable to hold an entry level job, contributing nothing, paying no taxes, only a welfare taker

The elected pearl clutchers caved into the demands of the angry masses

They shouldn’t have been surprised by crowd size as it gave the unskilled a reason to get off their asses

The everyday workers will bear the brunt of the demands in huge tax increases

They’ve been grinding it out for thirty years now sadly watching as their golden years savings potential decreases

Chomp Chomp

Meanwhile the news media is having a field day with the pandemic updates

Warnings scroll across the screen as new hot spots spread across the states

The dubious expert first advises to not worry about wearing a mask

Two weeks later he’s changed his tune wear one now. So why now? You’re not allowed to ask

They’re the authority, their invented title and pompous attitude says so

And since the public are gullible sheep and unable to think they’ll talk real slow

Keeping a low profile is the order of the day

Shop quietly, tend to medical needs then stay at home out of harm’s way

With the mostly vacant streets the protesters are now free to congregate and make their stand

Waiting for the media’s arrival to mug for the cameras and list their demands

It’s a vicious circle to say the least creating a perfect storm

As one winds up feeling like he’s dangled over the water by the man on the platform

Chomp Chomp Chomp

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With Liberty And Justice For All

When the Planet of the Apes was released in 1968 the end was intended to shock
The main character kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled Lady Liberty unable to turn back the clock

He realized that mankind in its lawless warlike state had annihilated humanity
And to survive in this primal state was his and his country’s destiny

Currently financially backed violent groups are waging war on America’s mores and past
Hiding behind Black Lives Matter, the demands are many. Eliminate law and order, rewrite history and all who oppose are harassed

Every work force has good workers and only a few bad no one will deny
Unfortunately with police, keeping bad ones someone might die

This applies to people of color, all colors if level headed folks would read the stats
But the anarchists prefer to spew the hatred and venom at all citizens not wearing BLM hats

Evidenced by Hitler attempting to wipe out the Jewish people beginning with their history
The fact supposedly educated mayors of the cities under siege doing nothing remains a mystery

Staring straight into the liberal news cameras. “It’s all about slavery and police brutality,” they scream
To underscore their peaceful protests stores are looted and burned orchestrated by the New world Order regime

Rarely mentioned in the slavery uproar are the 350,000 union soldiers who died on the battlefield
These were simple men, shop keepers, mill workers and dirt farmers all fighting that slave ownership be repealed

As ambivalent politicians hide behind their golden parachutes and feel good canned speeches
Denying all racial criticisms pointed their way before leaving for their private beaches

So history is being destroyed, monuments pulled down and police forces defunded
But as ISIS found out in their attempt to destroy a regions’ history a superior force is required for their scheme to be blunted

Thus the circle continues, two forces are doomed to clash therefore the body count will rise
So while law abiding citizens sleep, the momentum behind the New World Order will attempt America’s demise

Hopefully we won’t be left kneeling in the sand screaming at a toppled memorial
Making a gleeful photo lead in for some liberal newspaper’s editorial

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Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I Only Knew You As Good

Goodbye Aunt Jemima, I only knew you as good
Your label meant quality only now misunderstood

Those easily offended decided your image needed to be removed
A corporate decision to ingratiate your product in the black community and race relations are improved

Your icon a while back by a board room decision had been modernized
Your now dark skinned June Cleaver depiction again needs changing as self righteous indignation has the nation paralyzed

So we’ll package your superior quality and once proud product under a different label
Just so we can serve the same ingredients on the breakfast table

So when the new sterile packaging is complete
Your next step will be to take care of the chef on Cream of Wheat

And in the end when the expense of repackaging and distribution it will require
The tremendous cost will be passed on to the cost conscious food buyer

It won’t stop here product names will continually change lest a group be offended
Spineless corporations will inevitability bow to vocal groups as reality is suspended

Gone is Mia, the Land of Lakes maiden. “She was representing sex trafficking,” the offended would boast
That’s exactly what I thought of as I spread that delicious goodness on my toast

Next in line is that summer treat Eskimo Pie
Another example of good intentions gone awry

Most are not really sure how an ice cream on a stick can be that defamatory
However in certain circles the term Eskimo refers to raw meat eaters and that is considered inflammatory

And so it goes, pick a product and someone will be upset
Familiar product names will change over night due to some group’s threat

After brand names, will the outspoken groups go after produce?
There will be no stopping now, all will change, it’s easy to deduce

Grocers will be cautious of profiling not wanting to imply the black race could be associated with the term watermelon
So be prepared for the produce aisles to be advertising specials on aqua fruit before there’s a rebellion

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The Holiday Haters Radio Station


We appreciate our many loyal listeners who have requested no Christmas music on this radio station
The constant jingle jangle of holiday themed melodies at every turn leads to unrelenting aggravation

To appease you our listeners we’ve created an alt station for both streaming and on the air at 99.8
These songs will tell a different story though the tunes may sound familiar they will morph into a song you won’t hate

Below is just a sample of what this new seasonal station will try to undertake
So kick back and turn it up when you feel you need a holiday break

There’s No Place Like Home For The Holidays: These days in this politically alienating time sometimes it’s hard being at home for the holiday

The song now goes we arrive at the last minute, gulp down the feast and be out the door and by the time angry Uncle Joe picks a fight we’re well down the road in our Hyundai

Little Drummer Boy: For political correctness sake, now the Little Drummer Person
Just what the new parents needed, after quieting those noisy lowing cattle, some kid pounding on a drum causing the infant child’s crying to worsen.

Baby It’s Cold Outside: An inappropriate song about using alcohol for sex
Now a song about surprise when Baby turns out to have male private parts and huge pecs

Do You Hear What I Hear: The first line of lyric is the same asking if you can hear
Only now the song is about an over bearing abusive husband hollering for more queso dip and beer

Deck The Halls: A song about decorating the house for the yuletide season
Now a song about appropriate ways to brighten the house so you won’t be charged for treason

I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus: Now changed to I Saw Mama Kissing Mrs. Claus
Since Mama was just outed this year it should be an interesting dinner with the in laws

Our goal is that by the end of the season our listeners will appreciate our endeavor
We feel that since the Christmas music starts now before Halloween our station is better late than never

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Little Girl Lost

Wake up and good morning sweet girl, pretty granddaughter
I’m very sorry due to your gender you’ll be treated like a fish out of water
You see society is determining that just wanting to be a girl is reprehensible
The fact that wanting to play with dolls and wearing curls is not defensible
You’ll soon be initiated into what was once considered alternate lifestyles
The schools will educate, social media will preach and television enforces across all dials
You’ll be introduced into sports to compete against other kids
The sports will all be gender neutral as competing your own sex the law forbids
When you finally reach high school and can compete against all female teams
Unfortunately there’s always an opponent who’s six four with a beard or so it seems
Though she identifies as a female the fact she wears a jock seems a bit discerning
You see little girl it’s all part of your life you’ll be learning
Sex education will never be the same and neither will be home ec class
The school board terrified of reprisal wants no part of a vocal group’s lambastes
The gym teacher will no longer get by with an anatomy poster and a thirty minute videotape
The instructor now comes with a laundry list covering everything from disease to rape
Advising the merits of experimentation to satisfy a growing curiosity
And for the moment it’s okay to push aside your background of religiosity
The playground groups whisper about who’s done what and who is square
So when your moment comes are you willing to try on a double dog dare
The days of high school dances cruising the strip and making out in the back seat
Have been replaced with heterosexual hesitation and hoping that doesn’t end as a bad tweet
Just wanting to be a strong free thinking woman just doesn’t cut it anymore
To be independent is considered gauche. One must embrace an alt lifestyle for society to adore
It’s a pack mentality, keeping the group intact, intimidation by numbers
Ideas impressed in young minds creating fitful dreams while one slumbers
So little one enjoy your playtime, your tea parties and dressing in Mom’s attire
As soon confusion about yourself will arise from lectures advocated as the law requires

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They Don’t Make ‘Em Like The Cartwrights Anymore

img_0868Time was in the 1950’s and 60’s TV westerns ruled the prime time airwaves

Family interaction, life lessons learned and good verses evil were what America craves

Shows crowded the evening line up with admirable people defending what is theirs

Against the likes of droughts, intruders and a gunman’s icy stares

Everything had order, good guys wore white hats and women apron strings

In the end blissful couples rode into the sunset while the bad guy swings

Times have changed, entertainment must toe the mark of politically correct

The shows must appease all factions of the population or a group will vehemently object

Let’s look at what three shows were like then and how they might appear now

Back when broadcasts were for entertainment not today’s attitude of holier than thou

Bonanza: A sprawling saga of a widower and his three sons laying claim to a quarter of Nevada

They controlled the mining, logging and cattle trade pretty much the whole enchilada

Patriarch Ben would squire all eligible ladies with charm and an occasional mimosa

Until he took them out on a buggy ride to show them his huge Ponderosa

Adam, the eldest was aloof cultured and educated with a law degree

He hoped for grassroots support and to run for office as a governor nominee

Hoss the middle son was huge and cuddly but could give bad guys a serious “lickin”

But the Chinese cook Hop Sing stayed furious at him for eating all the “flied” chicken

Little Joe the youngest was quick with fists and gun while chasing anything in a skirt

But marry just one and a crazed animal stampede would stomp her into the dirt

Bonanza 2019: Not the same show as the the characters have been updated and modernized

The politically correct scripts are now written so the clan appears duly propagandized

Ben: Now an old white guy mostly a front porch sitter with a cane and fly swatter

After a newsprint article revealed him advising a woman in lieu of rent how to remain a squatter

Adam: After a failed attempt at public office opened a store for payday loans

In addition to the Ponderosa most of the titles to the surrounding ranches he now owns

Hoss: Tired of years of back breaking farm work and shoveling horse manure

He decided to open a chain of dining establishments and has become quite the entrepreneur

Joselito: Now in show business working as a cross dressing saloon singer known as the Silk Tornado

Adored by throngs of rhinestone cowboys for his haunting rendition of “The Streets of Laredo”

The Rifleman: A dirt farmer scratching out a living with his son and a modified rapid fire rifle

Soon the bad guys in the area found that this was a man not to trifle

He was Lucas Boy to the sheriff and helped him out of many scrapes

Such as gold heists, wanted gunslingers and jail house escapes

Son Mark when in trouble knew all he had to do was holler “Paw Paw”

And Lucas would drill six slugs into the bad guy before he had a chance to draw

The Rifleman 2019: The townspeople weary of flying bullets and violence they could not condone

Banned the multi-shot rifle and and declared the town a gun free zone

Lucas reduced to hurling rocks and insults had enough and decided to retire

Works now part time in a carnival as a trick shot artist and his beloved rifle he still gets to fire

Now fifty seven Mark diagnosed as obsessive compulsive has not fared nearly as well

Weary of the constant yelling of Paw Paw the town folk locked him in a shed behind the hotel

The Lone Ranger: In most westerns women were notably absent or shown as saloon girls or school marms

Those seemed to be the only occupations available when they came in from the farms

The Lone Ranger had no women either just his faithful side kick Tonto

A native American he traveled with the mysterious lawman using a gun not a bow

Together they would strike fear into bad guys all over the west

Quick to dispense both wisdom and and bullets they were two of the best

The Lone Ranger 2019: Though the characters look the same, they’re portrayed in a different light

Oh they’ll search for truth and justice and give the bad guys a fight

Still dressed in tight light blue attire with a black mask and white cowboy hat

He fires silver bullets a souvenir for the undertaker after he lays the bad guy out flat

He rides a big white horse and a saddle adorned with inlaid decoration

And Tonto still says Kemosabe a lot and looks at him with admiration

Only now by the glow of the campfire after the light of the day

One might hear Tonto demanding more Kemosabe while the Lone Ranger cries Hi O Silver Awaaayyyy

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