Currently there is a car commercial focused on a children’s orchestra struggling to play a musical piece

Cut to the fashionable Mom shutting her windows and moonroof as these children’s valiant efforts were causing eye rolling and her forehead to crease

I suppose this hyper anxious Mom would be able to jump out of her silenced domain, pick up a horn and effortlessly knock out a quick version of “Hoe Down” by Copeland

The idea is to imply these kids’ efforts aren’t worth her attention so shut them out while they struggle with the rest of the band

The next commercial focuses on a family proudly eyeing a winning lottery ticket that was placed on the table when one of the kids spills a glass of juice

As the liquid advances across the wooden surface, the family, horror-stricken all scream like they have a screw loose

Here’s an idea. Just pickup the ticket and then worry about cleaning up the mess

Mr Spock would term this logical as this would reduce these dullards’ drama queen stress

Turn on any sporting event and the first commercial break will feature a sportsbook advising how you can instantly win cash

The ad features exploding graphics, fans high fivin’, and implied riches while in reality you should be watching your bank account crash

The excitement is to have you dial these gambling houses up, but be sure to have a credit card handy

They need to know you are credit worthy and will cut you off when you reach an approved limit as that is their real modus operandi

That brings us to the big stupid bird and the guy in sunglasses dressed in yellow with the toothpick

This long-running campaign makes the bird the brighter of the two as the guy appears thick as a brick

Of course this company has always treated viewers like idiots with “out of work actors, dancing mimes, and a Saturday night cowboy”

Hopefully this assault on intelligence works as these commercials seemingly only strive to annoy