A Washington DC high school had been studying about fossils suspended in time found frozen in the ground

It seems that a group of researchers were jubilant as to the species of roundworms they had found

The researchers had collected and revived prehistoric roundworms from 46000 years old Siberian permafrost

The worms seemed to enter into a state called cryptobiosis and reduced their metabolism to low levels. Surprisingly living this long, this idea to congress was not lost

One of the authors of this study stated, “we can say they are alive because they move, they eat bacteria off the culture plate, and they reproduce.”

Special meetings in Congress were called as this cryptobiosis theory could become their next golden goose

Imagine a 312-year-old senator in his 46th term still approving 20 billion more for Ukraine and able to legislate how a woman can control her relationships

The fact that living in this cryptobiosis state a senator may continue with all the perks of their office never having to worry about cashing in his chips

So the archeology club set out one day to dig in the cold atmosphere around Capitol Hill

Using rock picks and whisk brooms, they slowly uncovered several bodies, barely able to fog a mirror with brain activity very still

According to the club’s sponsor the people uncovered could only be powered by stuffing large amounts of currency in their pockets

And once all fueled up they are only capable of eating and then preparing Trump criminal dockets

Working steadily the club exposed several species of prehistoric congressional members, able to move ever so slightly without bending over to wheeze

The group’s work revealed a Pelosisaurus, a Bernie T Rex, and a Maxineodactyl. The only discovery they couldn’t revive was a McConnellatops which seemed to be in a permanent freeze

But the hypothesis formed by the club going into the dig proved true

As long as a familiar name appears on a ballot, old age, criminal records, and campaign promises don’t matter as they’ll still be voted through