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A Daily Observer in Bad Poetry

Humor in Daily Life, Politics and Sports

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social media

Anyone Can Run

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It’s been another four years and time for a general election

And a genuine potpourri of candidates lined up to garner voters’ affection

Back in the day a candidate was groomed for office by his career

Trained in all aspects of the job such as the politician’s wolfish smile and to pad pockets of an electioneer

Though the same tired faces surface every four years

A new face will pop up to announce his candidacy egged on by his adoring peers

So let’s take a look at candidates both past and present to see who had their day in the sun

Showing the world the Presidency is an open election and anyone can run

First up is Bernie Sanders a popular socialist but kicked to the curb by his own party

The Democrats teamed up to make sure Hillary got the nod and to Bernie were not sorry

Hillary was their choice thought unbeatable until she opened her mouth

Her opinion on Benghazi and deplorable voters caused her campaign to head south

Then came Donald J., P.T. Barnum only wished he could equal Trump’s showman ability

Creating four years of obsessive crazed media and Democratic hostility

Fast forward four years and the Democrats have tapped basement dweller Joe Biden to lead the way

Desperately trying to keep Sleepy Joe hidden before another unscripted gaffe leads to voter dismay

This guy told a black radio audience that if you struggle to choose then “you ain’t black enough”

Plus in past years a record player and a social worker are needed to raise black kids leaving families in a huff

Bernie Sanders again tried a run but the Democrats had him find his place back on the curb

And essentially place a sign around his neck reading Do Not Disturb

This election’s newcomer is is rap star and record producer Kanye West

Trying to follow in Trump’s footsteps he plans on stealing votes from both parties to win the contest

Maybe I can help with a campaign slogan by using lyrics from his records I have browsed

Perhaps a jingle like “Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused”

Or “Uh baby you’re makin’ it harder, better, faster, stronger” might be one to not sneeze at

But I figure that might be difficult to fit on a hat

Where’d All These Experts Come From?

They appear on camera, at a podium and on the air waves
Dishing out daily expertise while showing excavators digging mass graves

Two months ago no one knew these people to be a health authority
Suddenly, because the media says so their opinions now rule the silent majority

One of their goals is not the public health but to cause America to panic
It’s not hard to believe Government wants to control your lives when the media’s use of casualty numbers makes one frantic

“Stay at home the experts advise, wear a mask and wash your hands
Shut the work force down keep your distance do what what we say,” Big Brother commands

WHO has aligned with China and become a puppet for the Chinese to pull their strings
The two docs on Trump’s staff, one with a scarf and one on a phone book have Clinton ties whose praises they sing

Plunge America into despair and poverty while waiting on the meager government check
Lose your way of life or meeting with friends but hide in the closet as the bill collectors are breathing down your neck

But there is a savior on the horizon, Bill Gates is funding vaccines and financing with his Microsoft billions
This is the same man that forced his software on us civilians

Yes it’s that software that needs constant upgrades for Microsoft to support costing you major bucks
And the fact your system won’t run anything else really sucks

Not to mention the continuing hassles of achingly slow updates, frozen systems and IT issues
He’s planning on vaccinating the world while the mainstream media has you worried over toilet tissues

And Brother Bill’s open border policy will keep the contagious unvaccinated people rolling in
So everyone in contact will need the current vaccine upgrade or the virus paranoia will begin again

Big Pharma is clicking their heels, an untold fortune will be coming their way
The world will be required to have the vaccine series at $1000 a pop or there will be Hell to pay

Their story may change daily but there the experts are acting all confident and bold
But lets all remember, this is the same group of people that haven’t found a cure for the common cold

Same Song Stranger Times

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Though these songs recorded years ago have withstood the test of time

A pandemic of epic proportion can change the meaning of the title on a dime

These songs weren’t written with a global virus in mind

But the title and today’s current conditions can now become entwined

When Ol’ Blue Eyes sang about “Strangers In The Night”

He wasn’t singing about masked neighbors keeping their distance on a sidewalk to be polite

And George The Possum Jones’ country hit “All My Friends Are Strangers”

He wasn’t advising that human contact could be a danger

Social distancing with Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton has come into play

”Distant Strangers” is now sound advice to not become virus prey

Social media is helpful in this abruptly perilous time

Barbara Lewis’ “Hello Stranger” is a greeting to combat any closeness crime

“Company Of Strangers” by Bad Company could be appropriate for the left coast

As California released prisoners to roam the streets looking for someone to be their host

Most of the American public can agree on “Strangers In A Strange Land” by Leon Russell

As the streets are empty, restaurants closed and no sound of city noise and bustle

Finally Billy Joel released The Stranger his critically acclaimed record

Because we Americans are suddenly strangers the album title strikes a dismal chord

Also included in the disc is the sadly prophetic track “Only The Good Die Young”

Unfortunately in today’s world this could become a funeral dirge by the way it’s sung

Jezebelosi: History Does Repeat Itself

 

About three thousand years ago a young woman was married to Israel’s king
A headstrong woman she didn’t appreciate the religion her new subjects seemed to cling

She set about to change all that by introducing her own beliefs for all to praise
She was now a woman of power and demanded all her subordinates to accept her mores

The new Priestess then set out to destroy all who opposed her
Unlike today, killing the opposition was fair so old beliefs did not recur

Her subjects lived in fear they and their ideology would be exposed by her tirades
As her Highness’s doctrines could possibly crumble the powerful Kingdom of Israel for decades

Fast forward 3000 years and now a powerful woman is out to instill her own values on a Nation
Elected to represent an area beset with multiple problems of immigration, homelessness and high taxation

She is determined to take down the person legally voted into office by the rules of the Constitution
Using any means possible through lies and innuendo supplied by shadowy figures, she’s hoping for prosecution

Since murder is now frowned upon except in a certain former presidential society
This lady would not consider wearing that crown of notoriety

If she and her sycophants before the upcoming election could take total control
She could turn the country into her private domain without a soul

She does feel the sweat of desperation creeping into her tired leak to the media style
Easily disproved statements and secret closed door meetings have replaced her previous guile

When the next election is over and she is forced to turn over her gavel
She and her party will see the plans for a new America unravel

Unlike the Jezebel days she can’t be thrown out the window to the hungry dogs below
But she will have to hit the road back to destitute California with her pack of toadies in tow

The Vacuum of Thought

As the day grows longer and the nights go colder
The world deteriorates as we grow older
We’re going to be able to see in hindsight
What we’ve given up without a fight
At a time this country is being overtaken by the ungrateful masses
We think problems will disappear, viewed through our rose colored glasses
It’s easier to turn away and pretend to not see
Then to make a stand and not be considered PC
The mindless press and media control the process of thought
Forget about common sense, forget about things taught
Plug your earbuds in and crank up that current pop tune
To the problems surrounding you just stay immune
Why worry over over the jobless, impoverished or the hungry
When you can call your buddy and complain about the game’s referee
Check out your cell phone to see the latest app
While the power people with their finger on the trigger begin to unwrap
When the great heathen masses begin to mobilize
As cities around the world start to vaporize
And containers of nerve gas become airborne
Who in this world will be left to mourn
Continue to hold the celebrities to the highest acclaim
Continue to worry about the point spread of the big game
It’s all about the newest toy and one upmanship
While third world children become experts at weapons field strip
So lock yourself away in your your loft apartment
Content in the knowledge that five dollar coffee is money well spent
While in the limited access countries they’re building bombs to radiate
And use their cell phones to pinpoint and annihilate
Consequently when fighting for your life against an enemy with no soul
Just remember it wasn’t supposed to happen according to the latest media poll

Where’s Boris

We’re live tonight and riding with Sgt. Al (Big Al) Jackson an officer assigned to Russian Patrol
The agency formed after collusion talks indicated Russian infiltrators needed to be kept under control.
The patrol’s job is to seek out Soviet non-citizens, arrest and book them and have them deported
I’m riding with Sgt. Jackson following leads that residents have reported
Big AL explained he came from a military family and had grown tired of seeing America going down the tubes
Besides chasing bad guys beats working in a office and spending the day peering over cubes
The radio suddenly came to life advising a suspicious person at the Circle K sandwich bar
The suspect was upset that that none of the advertised condiments were Beluga caviar.
Gone before we got there we were tipped that suspicious person might be at Charge Bucks Coffee shop
A customer observed a person sending bulk e-mails of voting misinformation from his laptop
The individual was also agitated the Barista couldn’t create a Lenin likeness in his cappuccino.
Quietly we rolled into the parking lot and stopped behind a vintage El Camino
Approaching the suspect we identified ourselves as a government agency
Laughing, he replied that our numbers were too small to topple this insurgency
Still amused even in handcuffs he advised to take a look at the Mueller investigation
Two years and money wasted and nothing even close to a presidential incrimination
“We work with our network of hackers creating likable bots that America accepts as friends through their gullibility
State something outlandish enough times and fiction becomes fact. A guaranteed inevitability”
So the day progressed, the next stop was a big box store where three hookers were nabbed in the health and beauty aids.
All were demanding diplomatic immunity in an eastern bloc accent while dressed in plaid skirts and fake blond braids
The afternoon was spent interviewing green card violators trying to find a Russian connection from a potential deportee
Four hours later we were holding just one suspect who gave his name as Jesus del a Slobinski.
Later over beers, Big Al lamented. “You see it’s no longer a spy vs spy or Tom Cruise hanging on strings.”
“We spend our time waiting by the phone or seeing what new social media rumor tomorrow brings. “
“Yesterday’s detective work was easy. Tips were called in or you knocked on doors
Now we’re forced to follow up on rumors spread by a hacker six thousand miles away spreading lies like mushroom spores.”
The Russians are a dodge. The media is fueling the frenzy by writing their own unsubstantiated fabrications
The writer can read the hackers’ observations and instantly what was fiction is now face book proclamations.
Which is why we’re picking up eastern bloc amateur hookers and a caravan lightweight.
While the real criminal is on the other side of the world spreading gossip for shallow minds to infiltrate”

Social Media’s Crushing My Soul

Leaving the Doc’s sterile office, the exam paper left streaks on my rear
My lethargy and depression seemed symptomatic and I hoped not severe
My daily routine seemed aimless, what were goals were now dismissed
I was sleepwalking through life, working and eating but only to exist
Friendships seemed hollow, pleasure was fleeting as the world seemed a brownish gray
Hopefully the doctor could read something in my blood sample and right my dismay
I couldn’t check my personal page, look at my Twitter account or Instagram
As everyone’s got it better, has more followers, and about me not give a damn
In the past six months I’ve been friended by only four people that I don’t know
I liked something I saw so the friend request arrived to keep all status quo
The buzzing in my mind has grown louder reminding me of my inadequacy
And now I fear the persistent noise can’t be diagnosed clinically
The alcohol, the drugs, prescribed or not had only opened doors to nowhere
My tiny unremarkable life has become an unrelenting nightmare
No one notices, no one cares. The nurse only wanted my copay
So the doc can tell me nothing is wrong and to put my phone away.
But I can’t put it down, my cell has become me, I’m it’s identity
It’s my voice to all the other voices shouting at the globe’s inhumanity
It’s my umbilical cord to others meager triumphs and a channel to their hatred
The short video clips and bits of text all seem extreme, common sense negated
My thoughts begin to tumble, foreign voices and color explosions swirled
This device has become my addiction, an obsession in my private netherworld
Irrational thoughts of fame and glory have become a daily norm
My indifference coupled with lost souls’ recorded conflicts becomes a perfect storm
I’m feeling the need to end it all and find peace from the innate turmoil
Not to be understood,  my resolution makes sense to me and my mentor the phone, stays loyal

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