The neighbor had been bragging for months about his secret pizza recipe

He claimed this pizza was so good, a person eating it would need therapy

And to enhance the pizza, he recently purchased a $600 outdoor pizza oven that heats to 800 degrees

Because after tasting this he boasted he’d start a new pizza chain and would have to fight off potential franchisees

So, the small group assembled on his deck and watched as the pie was ceremoniously placed on the hot stone

Seven minutes later the pizza came out piping hot, charred just right and to a hungry man the aroma of expensive cologne

Eagerly blowing on my slice, mouth watering in anticipation the overpowering taste of red onion came as quite a shock

The list of potential franchisees dwindled rapidly and as a group mumbled about having to go while asking if they could take the rest of their slice home in a zip lock

The red onion once again raised its fetid stench to kill what could have been a delicious taste test

But cooks and chefs everywhere use and praise this red bulb like it was the winner of an onion love fest

Many a sandwich and salad combo has been ruined by the pungent taste

Maybe the onion flavor was used to cover off flavor of nearly expired ingredients to keep from being waste

Think about how many nights have been spent on the sofa after consuming a few strands of the red

Close conversation, nuzzling on a love seat, and lovemaking are definitely out as the onion once again rears its ugly head

The bonus to the onion dilemma is it hangs in one’s mouth and hands the following day

It’s taste takes no backseat to any ingredient in guacamole, chicken salad, or a bowl of chili, but the plus side is it might keep bugs away

Perhaps the baby that granny was fussing over for crying through the night might be caused by the nursing mother

Because when standing at the deli counter and nodding yes to pickled red onion on her sandwich any thought of affecting the baby went in one ear and out the other

There are many varieties of onion to sample and savor

But don’t ruin a hard afternoon in the kitchen with an acidic red onion. That would do all diners a favor