In documents obtained through a source known only as Wormy Leaker, the ruling party reached a historic decision
A compromise had been agreed to by both parties. The new law states babies may be killed for up to six months after birth but everyone gets to keep their guns with no fear of prison
The ruling party stated in their secret memo in order to control the middle class abortions are necessary and the guns are needed so the elites can protect their assets
The huge spike in crime had risen to the point that politicians and celebrities were being robbed, car jacked and continually harassed with ominous threats
This decision was reached after a previous leak from the high court overturning Roe v. Wade caused untold violence and disarray
The ruling party’s knee-jerk reaction was to immediately pack the court with subservient judges unable to lawfully reason but only there to obey
Surprisingly, Congress defeated this inclination as many seats were coming up for re-election and the incumbents didn’t want to lose their free lunch
Because even if the rest of the world realizes there is no free lunch, that matters not to this bunch
So an alternative plan was needed to quickly appease the vocal and riotous left leaning mob
This group’s number had swollen to monstrous size outside the court house as none of the protesters had a real job
In order to appease all, a moment of brilliance in the 11th hour, happened to the man with applesauce dribbling off his chin
Asked the rhetorical question. “What is the one thing the right loves more than their own kin?”
Of course the answer would be a closet full of guns and a rifle rack in every pick up truck
And since everyone on the right already owns guns, we can let them think they won, we get to kill the babies and I won’t look like a schmuck
So expect the ruling any day that you get to keep your guns, and we continue to kill the babies
And we can promote it as “it ain’t perfect, but we’re doing it for votes, er ah, I mean all the ladies”
An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry 