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When You Only Have Two Hand Trucks

The pastries remained untouched in the center of the table. Sweat stain were rapidly spreading in all the armpits

The director looked around at the assembled group of agents and snapped. “People, this is as bad as it gets”

“The press has turned on us, and we need to pull off a big story to make us out as heroes and put us back in the country’s good graces”

Suddenly an agent from across the table spoke. “Let’s take down a major politician as that’s the kind of story America embraces”

Peering closely at the agent the director asked, “ That idea has potential. Just who do you suggest?”

“Well Mr. Director, it needs to be someone to make the front page news. Someone we can drag out of the house half dressed”

“Sounds good” stated the director. “But I need names to obtain the necessary warrant”

“What about Hillary?” asked the agent. “Her behavior has always been considered abhorrent”

“Hmmm, I’m thinking that a news video of Hillary in her night gown in the middle of the night might cause viewer projectile up-chucks”

“Beside to transport all the potential illegal documents from her residence would be difficult as we only have two hand trucks”

“Okay what about Hunter?” asked the agent determined to contribute to a major arrest

“Look, we can’t touch this guy” stated the director. “Besides, we have his laptop and right now its on loan to a senior agent’s bachelor party for a drug and hooker fest”

“Well,” said the agent “We can’t go after Pelosi and her drunken husband for her insider trading because to remove all the documentation would take more than two hand trucks”

“And Zelensky is out as he is currently hiding behind a huge wall of money built by American taxpayer bucks”

“So it looks like we’ll have to go after Trump again as we know half of America hates him”

“And while we’re at it, we can rifle through Melania’s wardrobe to see if she has any help in looking so slim”

“That sound like a plan,” stated the director. My only concern is this surprise raid might leave America in a tiff”

“Not to worry,” stated the agent. “Besides if we can pocket some of Melania’s delicates it would give the big guy something else to sniff”

“And it would demonstrate to all of America that no one is safe from us”

“Our power is absolute we don’t care if in the FBI, America distrusts”

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Federal Bureau of Immorality

The beautiful FBI people closed in on the evil doers. Their plan had worked to perfection

The execution was flawless as two bad guys were dead and the informant was in witness protection

Then the director yelled “cut” and the assembled actors all headed to the catering truck

When in real life a group of stressed agents were assembled trying to figure the best way, of the latest controversy, to duck

The FBI was long portrayed as the last bastion of protection from criminals both foreign and domestic

TV shows, newspaper articles and even comic books all had the integrity of the FBI shown in a light that was quite majestic

But that was then and this is now. The FBI has turned into a group of leftist protecting lap dogs for any current political cause

It doesn’t matter anymore this group of gun carrying suits are sworn to protect constitutional laws

One would need a few hours to read through a list of controversies involving the FBI just over the past few years

A lot of the reading would be taken up by the Clinton crime syndicate, then the multiple red flag school shootings and the gymnasts sex abuse tears

The revolving door firings of the fence posts and hustlers that headed the FBI would also take up a lot of time

The fact is, the FBI would probably implode if they prosecuted their own agents involved in crime

The FBI’s list of missteps continue to swell, the lies and cover ups endure as across this administration the falsehoods sprawl

One thing is certain however, as new fabrications are presented as “evidence” agents avoid the Post Office as they may see their own picture hanging on the wall

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What The Initials Really Mean In 2021

In Washington when government agencies are deemed important they’re referred to by their initials.

The business cards all contain these identifiers when swapped among the officials

Things have changed since the original letter designation as demonstrated by what is to follow.

Randomly selected organizations are shown but new definitions of government institutions could continue indefinitely and that makes it even harder to swallow

THEN: ICE Immigration and Customs Enforcement This department was originally formed to enforce immigration regulations but fell into disfavor among the third world supporters

NOW: ICE Immigrants Can Escape Biden’s disdain for this group and his open border policy has provided much jubilation for the mainstream media reporters

THEN: BLM Bureau of Land Management This organization was formed to sustain the health and productivity of public lands, Unfortunately it was discovered that some of the land managed contained stands of White Oak

NOW: BLM Black Lives Matter The new meaning of these now communist sympathizers is to violently clash with everything white and demand to be at the forefront of all things woke

THEN: CDC Center for Disease Control Originally a group assigned to protect the health and safety of American citizens

NOW: CDC Center for Dangerous Communication A puppet for the WHO issuing guidelines that appear to be a moving target as the jaded public has grown weary of the constant revisions

THEN: DHS Department of Homeland Security Originally formed to protect America from outside forces that among other things thwart terrorists that may try to cross the border

NOW: DHS Distribution of Homeless Squatters Now used primarily to give an ole’ type wave at the thousands crossing the Rio Grande river and help on waiting buses as if under a direct White House order

THEN: FBI Federal Bureau of Investigation Formed to investigate potential crime on a national level. Television shows and movies praised the integrity of this group

NOW: FBI Foney Baloney Information In spite of the spelling this cluster of dubious individuals now just make needed information up to help their agenda and lie to protect it until someone steps in their own poop

Luckily rumor has it that a new Bureau is being formed that all departments will answer too. That being the III or Bureau of Incompetent Idiots Identified.

And the request for approximately half a million employees needed seems both rational and justified

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