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A Daily Observer in Bad Poetry

Humor in Daily Life, Politics and Sports

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Stay at home

Sometimes I Feel Like my Butt Is Hanging Over the Pool At Gatorland

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For those that don’t know Gatorland is an old school Florida attraction

The main show involves a man leaning over a pool of hungry gators holding a chicken having faith in his reaction

The alligators come about five feet out of the water to snap up the whole fryer

The man on the platform is held in place by a thick leather strap should a body part the jaws acquire

Chomp

In today’s uncertain times I feel like it’s my butt hanging over the lagoon

Venture out for any purpose and the cancel culture is there to rip you apart and leave body parts strewn

Join the movement, protest and destruct while hiding behind Black Lives Matter

Or be labeled a white supremacist and the movement serves your head on a platter

You’re be required to love all as you would kinfolk

Anything different, mayhem and violence you’ll provoke

It’s of little consequence the person you’re to love is a callous lawbreaker

Unable to hold an entry level job, contributing nothing, paying no taxes, only a welfare taker

The elected pearl clutchers caved into the demands of the angry masses

They shouldn’t have been surprised by crowd size as it gave the unskilled a reason to get off their asses

The everyday workers will bear the brunt of the demands in huge tax increases

They’ve been grinding it out for thirty years now sadly watching as their golden years savings potential decreases

Chomp Chomp

Meanwhile the news media is having a field day with the pandemic updates

Warnings scroll across the screen as new hot spots spread across the states

The dubious expert first advises to not worry about wearing a mask

Two weeks later he’s changed his tune wear one now. So why now? You’re not allowed to ask

They’re the authority, their invented title and pompous attitude says so

And since the public are gullible sheep and unable to think they’ll talk real slow

Keeping a low profile is the order of the day

Shop quietly, tend to medical needs then stay at home out of harm’s way

With the mostly vacant streets the protesters are now free to congregate and make their stand

Waiting for the media’s arrival to mug for the cameras and list their demands

It’s a vicious circle to say the least creating a perfect storm

As one winds up feeling like he’s dangled over the water by the man on the platform

Chomp Chomp Chomp

Getting Used To It

The bills keep piling up higher but the pile of laundry has gotten smaller
I’m rationing my last six pack as my household budget is down to the last dollar

The stimulus check promised a month ago allegedly is in the mail
I’ve tried to log on the see when it is arriving but to no avail

The refrigerator is only cooling last night’s leftovers but the freezer is packed
The news media spreading the constant panic caused my spending to over react

I haven’t shaved in a week and my shower towel is still clean and dry
I’ve been in the same clothes since the first of the month since I’m not in the public’s eye

Besides if you’re not going anywhere the clothes you have on have not been infected
When my temperature was read during my few ventures out no high readings were detected

The pollen on the car has turned it yellow as it hasn’t been cranked in days
And the brittle wipers smeared my windshield into a filmy streaky haze

The price of going somewhere is cheaper as gas is less expensive than it has been for years
Since traveling is frowned on maybe it’s payback for all the former holiday price gouging profiteers

Doctors’ appointments were canceled and asked they be consulted over the telephone
So previously they were just going through the motions when the listened to the heartbeat, peeked in your ears or in your eyes a light they shone

However the grass is cut and multiple chores have been done around the house
Reading and internet searches have been accomplished all the while trying to stay off the nerves of my spouse

This is happening while the country slowly tries to open back up and lose some mandated restrictions
Experts everywhere are quick to second guess all decisions as a failure hoping they’re right just once in their predictions

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