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A Daily Observer in Bad Poetry

Humor in Daily Life, Politics and Sports

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coronavirus

Sometimes I Feel Like my Butt Is Hanging Over the Pool At Gatorland

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For those that don’t know Gatorland is an old school Florida attraction

The main show involves a man leaning over a pool of hungry gators holding a chicken having faith in his reaction

The alligators come about five feet out of the water to snap up the whole fryer

The man on the platform is held in place by a thick leather strap should a body part the jaws acquire

Chomp

In today’s uncertain times I feel like it’s my butt hanging over the lagoon

Venture out for any purpose and the cancel culture is there to rip you apart and leave body parts strewn

Join the movement, protest and destruct while hiding behind Black Lives Matter

Or be labeled a white supremacist and the movement serves your head on a platter

You’re be required to love all as you would kinfolk

Anything different, mayhem and violence you’ll provoke

It’s of little consequence the person you’re to love is a callous lawbreaker

Unable to hold an entry level job, contributing nothing, paying no taxes, only a welfare taker

The elected pearl clutchers caved into the demands of the angry masses

They shouldn’t have been surprised by crowd size as it gave the unskilled a reason to get off their asses

The everyday workers will bear the brunt of the demands in huge tax increases

They’ve been grinding it out for thirty years now sadly watching as their golden years savings potential decreases

Chomp Chomp

Meanwhile the news media is having a field day with the pandemic updates

Warnings scroll across the screen as new hot spots spread across the states

The dubious expert first advises to not worry about wearing a mask

Two weeks later he’s changed his tune wear one now. So why now? You’re not allowed to ask

They’re the authority, their invented title and pompous attitude says so

And since the public are gullible sheep and unable to think they’ll talk real slow

Keeping a low profile is the order of the day

Shop quietly, tend to medical needs then stay at home out of harm’s way

With the mostly vacant streets the protesters are now free to congregate and make their stand

Waiting for the media’s arrival to mug for the cameras and list their demands

It’s a vicious circle to say the least creating a perfect storm

As one winds up feeling like he’s dangled over the water by the man on the platform

Chomp Chomp Chomp

Save The Last Dance For Me

The country is opening back up and the masks are coming off
People are acting as if everything is back to normal until they hear someone cough

Suddenly the tension can be cut with a knife as activity freezes
And glares of disapproval are directed at the individual that coughs or sneezes

But if the virus is spread through everyday interaction than that is acceptable
Unless of course unless your employment has you working around those most susceptible

People want to get out, to assume normalcy and to be part of a crowd
Emerging from government forced hibernation eager to participate in activities that are allowed

They want to attend concerts, eat at restaurants and socialize at bars
They want to return to yesterday and take back what is ours

Things once taken for granted are missed the most
It’s time to look forward and raise a glass in future toasts

Everyone expects a spike in virus cases or a second wave
The statistics show most recover with the exception of those with one foot in the grave

The population is more than ready to attend church, sporting events and to travel
To lift up the once strong economy that took only a month to unravel

They’re ready to smell the mustard of ball park hot dogs and taste the crispness of the cold beer
To feel the thunk of the landing gear at a vacation destination without virus fears

But as for me I believe I’ll stay home and inside a while longer
They say what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger

I’m not ready to lay in bed with lungs intubated and gasping for breath
While relatives are hastily making last arrangements needed after death

So everyone can make their own decisions about being foot loose and fancy free
But I’ll continue to lay low and hope someone saves the last dance for me

Views From The Basement

The voice from the basement came through loud and clear
His speeches had been rehearsed and edited so on his video he’s normal it appears

But all around him his handlers seemed concerned about his next big gaffe
Causing his detractors to enjoy the moment and all have a big laugh

The virus happening at this point in time for the Democrats is very fortuitous
Hoping the stay at home orders are in place through November frustrating Americans and him being victorious

America’s buoyant economy and the man in charge were dealt a very lousy hand
The Dems in their perfect 20/20 hindsight state how prepared they’d have been to take command

Perhaps they could use as an example their highly successful cash for clunkers incentive
But one will never hear that from the media as that might prove insensitive

Viewing from his cellar through his periscope he wants to make 11 million undocumented people citizens
Guaranteeing the leftists stay in power for the foreseeable future supporting the New World Order visions

Taxes would be raised exponentially to support these new people as most small businesses were shuttered due to state mandates
The new poor would have to rely on the government for subsistence, all part of the devious plan of the candidate

When a vaccine is developed there will be orders issued to implant proof of procedure chips in all residents
Without regard to peoples’ privacy, to keep citizens under Big Brother’s thumb will become the new precedent.

So the dems are prepping a angry woman to assume the reins when the newly elected man is sent to Shady Acres Rest Home
Already rejected once by her own party she’ll show the world who’s in charge with an intense leftist retaliation syndrome

All this can be seen by the presidential candidate peering into the shaken world through his periscope
Using his impeccable hindsight to continually push his anti capitalistic taxation heavy envelope

Getting Used To It

The bills keep piling up higher but the pile of laundry has gotten smaller
I’m rationing my last six pack as my household budget is down to the last dollar

The stimulus check promised a month ago allegedly is in the mail
I’ve tried to log on the see when it is arriving but to no avail

The refrigerator is only cooling last night’s leftovers but the freezer is packed
The news media spreading the constant panic caused my spending to over react

I haven’t shaved in a week and my shower towel is still clean and dry
I’ve been in the same clothes since the first of the month since I’m not in the public’s eye

Besides if you’re not going anywhere the clothes you have on have not been infected
When my temperature was read during my few ventures out no high readings were detected

The pollen on the car has turned it yellow as it hasn’t been cranked in days
And the brittle wipers smeared my windshield into a filmy streaky haze

The price of going somewhere is cheaper as gas is less expensive than it has been for years
Since traveling is frowned on maybe it’s payback for all the former holiday price gouging profiteers

Doctors’ appointments were canceled and asked they be consulted over the telephone
So previously they were just going through the motions when the listened to the heartbeat, peeked in your ears or in your eyes a light they shone

However the grass is cut and multiple chores have been done around the house
Reading and internet searches have been accomplished all the while trying to stay off the nerves of my spouse

This is happening while the country slowly tries to open back up and lose some mandated restrictions
Experts everywhere are quick to second guess all decisions as a failure hoping they’re right just once in their predictions

This Time it won’t be Col. Mustard in the Library with a Candlestick

As America peers over its’ masks and tries to get back to business as usual
And the states and the US government argue over what is constitutional

The tired poor huddled masses are trying to determine what is safe and what is not
Should they stay at home or venture out and give the new world a shot

There are virtually no clues as to where the virus is lurking and where it is attached
The knowledge feverishly supplied by the current crop of experts demonstrates the surface has barely been scratched

You’ve used the drive thru at the fast food restaurant and so far so good
The food came home was removed from the packaging and everyone washed their hands as they should

Since no one is showing any symptoms maybe a trip to the gym is in order to burn off the quarantine pounds
The belt is out a couple of notches and the chip bags are empty so exercise could be as good as it sounds

Hopefully the person wiping down the equipment didn’t miss a spot with the disinfectant wipes
It would be easy to miss a small section while the attendant’s attention wanders as he swipes

America will probably have to live through a period of mental disorder
For instance staring and wondering at the masked and gloved waiters as they take your order

The virus could be anywhere and then again it might not be around
“Are you feeling lucky punk?” Quoting Dirty Harry just to spend a night on the town

The clues this time won’t be easy but rest assured it won’t be Mrs Peacock, Miss Scarlett or Professor Plum.
The virus might have originated on the ATM from an infected card reader that brushed your thumb

Or it might have come from the church lady who felt obligated to help even though she didn’t feel right
And rather than question her unsteadiness you worked along side to be polite

Or maybe it was Sam the butcher handing your change back while wrapping the two pounds of mutton
So instead of the game of Clue maybe we should be playing button, button whose got the button

For certain until the all clear whistle is blown we can make rules for the guessing game of Covid-19
At least until someone develops a safe effective and inexpensive vaccine

Where’d All These Experts Come From?

They appear on camera, at a podium and on the air waves
Dishing out daily expertise while showing excavators digging mass graves

Two months ago no one knew these people to be a health authority
Suddenly, because the media says so their opinions now rule the silent majority

One of their goals is not the public health but to cause America to panic
It’s not hard to believe Government wants to control your lives when the media’s use of casualty numbers makes one frantic

“Stay at home the experts advise, wear a mask and wash your hands
Shut the work force down keep your distance do what what we say,” Big Brother commands

WHO has aligned with China and become a puppet for the Chinese to pull their strings
The two docs on Trump’s staff, one with a scarf and one on a phone book have Clinton ties whose praises they sing

Plunge America into despair and poverty while waiting on the meager government check
Lose your way of life or meeting with friends but hide in the closet as the bill collectors are breathing down your neck

But there is a savior on the horizon, Bill Gates is funding vaccines and financing with his Microsoft billions
This is the same man that forced his software on us civilians

Yes it’s that software that needs constant upgrades for Microsoft to support costing you major bucks
And the fact your system won’t run anything else really sucks

Not to mention the continuing hassles of achingly slow updates, frozen systems and IT issues
He’s planning on vaccinating the world while the mainstream media has you worried over toilet tissues

And Brother Bill’s open border policy will keep the contagious unvaccinated people rolling in
So everyone in contact will need the current vaccine upgrade or the virus paranoia will begin again

Big Pharma is clicking their heels, an untold fortune will be coming their way
The world will be required to have the vaccine series at $1000 a pop or there will be Hell to pay

Their story may change daily but there the experts are acting all confident and bold
But lets all remember, this is the same group of people that haven’t found a cure for the common cold

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