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Why The Infatuation With Red Onions

The neighbor had been bragging for months about his secret pizza recipe

He claimed this pizza was so good, a person eating it would need therapy

And to enhance the pizza, he recently purchased a $600 outdoor pizza oven that heats to 800 degrees

Because after tasting this he boasted he’d start a new pizza chain and would have to fight off potential franchisees

So, the small group assembled on his deck and watched as the pie was ceremoniously placed on the hot stone

Seven minutes later the pizza came out piping hot, charred just right and to a hungry man the aroma of expensive cologne

Eagerly blowing on my slice, mouth watering in anticipation the overpowering taste of red onion came as quite a shock

The list of potential franchisees dwindled rapidly and as a group mumbled about having to go while asking if they could take the rest of their slice home in a zip lock

The red onion once again raised its fetid stench to kill what could have been a delicious taste test

But cooks and chefs everywhere use and praise this red bulb like it was the winner of an onion love fest

Many a sandwich and salad combo has been ruined by the pungent taste

Maybe the onion flavor was used to cover off flavor of nearly expired ingredients to keep from being waste

Think about how many nights have been spent on the sofa after consuming a few strands of the red

Close conversation, nuzzling on a love seat, and lovemaking are definitely out as the onion once again rears its ugly head

The bonus to the onion dilemma is it hangs in one’s mouth and hands the following day

It’s taste takes no backseat to any ingredient in guacamole, chicken salad, or a bowl of chili, but the plus side is it might keep bugs away

Perhaps the baby that granny was fussing over for crying through the night might be caused by the nursing mother

Because when standing at the deli counter and nodding yes to pickled red onion on her sandwich any thought of affecting the baby went in one ear and out the other

There are many varieties of onion to sample and savor

But don’t ruin a hard afternoon in the kitchen with an acidic red onion. That would do all diners a favor

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When the ATM is Out of CASH

The pallets of bricks were in the agreed upon location and the protest signs were distributed

The bullhorns were checked for battery strength and the scope of the riots were to be anti-ice attributed

The shadowy NGOs were focused on the violence and media presence

The rabble-rousers were in place to assure nothing about this protest would be in silent acquiescence

The protesters were showing up in droves powered by their take on what was googled on social media and their own ignorance

Thinking that throwing rocks, burning vehicles, and waving foreign flags, they could make a difference

Little do they know they were being played by the same socialist groups that canonized George Floyd, the funny money pusher and drug abuser

Burn cities, loot, and kill after cops were called to arrest a man whose many health problems were attributed to lifestyle and being a pot, meth, and fentanyl abuser

Another liberal city, another liberal cause headed by a communist mayor and a lying democratic governor

The mayor watched part of her city burn and didn’t seem very concerned and the governor just watches as urban blight in portions of his state will not be able to recover

The real people in charge, voices from the sinister dark spaces, know the time to strike is now

It’s a matter of time before the entire citizenship of the US realizes the ATM is out of cash, puts their foot down and states, “this we can’t allow”

People are just plain sick of being spit on and treated badly by foreigners living on the dole

They’re realizing now that charity has its limits and the mass of illegal invaders is turning their once beautiful country into another third world crap hole

So the socialists will once again churn up the media frenzy and produce untold numbers of bots to elicit sympathy from the ignorant

Before Americans take it upon themselves to excise the mass illegal invasion that has rapidly metastasized and now malignant

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Wokeness At 40,000 Feet

Another week another company headquartered in Atlanta issued a DEI memo advising the terms Black and Brown should be capitalized but white should be lower case

Delta Airlines defended its position by stating their grammar is correct as Black and Brown specify a race

It is a true reach to pull grammar out of the bag if race is the only issue being discussed

This red herring ploy is hiding the fact that many white pilots are flying migrants from Phoenix to their next stop instead of being bussed

Delta is just one of the airlines involved in migrant trafficking and rolling in the dough from the federal government as all the planes are packed

Paying customers have to wait in line at the ticket and security counters while the migrants have their own lines with no ticket needed just a seat assignment as their flight is Biden backed

So while Delta is spitting in the face of all its loyal customers, who for years made Delta their choice

The airline issued a nonsense missive advising how to capitalize black and brown supposedly giving people of color a reason to rejoice

This will all be for naught in the very near future as the FAA has issued new guidelines about hiring people with the following capabilities

The NEW diversity push includes a focus on hiring that include people with “severe intellectual and psychiatric disabilities”

So as you settle into your seat for a relaxing flight surrounded by unvetted and diseased people, you taxi to the runway as ordered by the traffic controller who just in the last few minutes was talking to his dog that passed on seven years ago

While listening to a rash covered baby screaming and coughing in pain across the aisle but in the same row

And the pilots seemed angry as they brushed past because with 20 years seniority they had been taken off the regular flight to St Tropez and assigned to O’Hare in February

Questioning the assignment cannot be considered as their pensions are waved in their face. But Chicago weather in February three years ago just wasn’t necessary

This administration is happy however. Their Secretary of Transportation is okay with the airline industry as a whole.

Just ignore doors falling off in mid-flight, massive numbers of flights being cancelled, the ongoing migrant shuffle, and suspect diversity hires. Mr Buttigieg assures us everything is under control

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Singing The Insurance Blues

Grandpa Smith was in a panic. The new insurance rate quote lying on the dining room table had him reaching for his heart pills

He’d been with this company for better than thirty years had done the bundle for home and auto, always paid on time and yet the new quote left him with cold chills

The note on the bottom of the bill advised that for further clarification please call this 800 number.

The nice young man expressed appropriate empathy while stating that everything was more expensive from labor for car repairs and for home storm damage the price of lumber

“But I’ve never filed a claim,” stated Grandpa. “I live in old house and drive a nine-year-old car.”

“That’s considered a bit of an issue Mr Smith,” explained Ajai, the voice on the phone. Should a strong wind damage your older roof the price of shingles has sky-rocketed and your rates go up the older you are.”

“Also repair rates for autos has drastically increased due to inflation. Have you seen what a body shop charges to replace a front grill?”

“And yet when an uninsured motorist runs into you, we’re required to pay the bill”

“Think about this Mr Smith, everytime you see a riot, a tornado, or a wildfire everyone files a claim”

“And with the number of undocumented migrants trying to drive, the new uninsured motorist rates currently being figured will make this current quote look tame”

“So what happens if I file a claim for a damaged roof after a wind storm?” asked Grandpa Smith.

“Oh, we’ll pay for the roof,” stated Ajai. “But realize this, it maybe with you we’re over and done with”

Astonished, the old man observed, “So after thirty years and paying all the premiums you’ll drop me just like that.”

“As much as we appreciate your business Mr Smith. If you file a claim we’d drop you in nothing flat”

“Gee Ajai it seems like you ought to rebate some money for never filing a claim. You don’t treat you existing customers very well at least at the bank they offered me a free blender”

“Mr Smith, we don’t have any rebate program but if you stop by our office you can pick up a free desk calender”

“Ajai, I don’t know where you live or what you drive but I think you know what you can do with your calendar and your quote”

“Mr Smith, I’m sorry you feel this way, but for your information I live in Bangladesh and drive a cart powered by a goat.”

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