The young boy eyed the lunch room lady with both anticipation and suspicion

The smell emanating from the cafeteria had given the lad an eerie premonition

Pushing the tray down the rail in wide-eyed fearfulness he waited for that dreaded sound

And there it was, the splash in the soup bowl of slimy tomato, looking like a dissected science experiment that drowned

Add to the sloshing of the soup bowl, the splat of the leaky peanut butter and jelly sandwich gluing itself to the melmac plate

This presentation passed for lunch once a month without any regard to the kid’s immediate fate

Flash forward fifty years and today’s crop of classmates would be watching their peers being wheeled out on stretchers in severe anaphylactic shock

It seems today that children need to to be cautious about what they ingest, or they’ll quickly be on their way to the doc

Currently food allergies are on the rise partially to the “clean environment” paranoia. Many foods besides peanuts are on the no eat list

Kids aren’t on the playground anymore sharing dirt, germs, and microbes causing the gut health to suffer and peanut butter sandwiches cease to exist

Helicopter parents standing at the ready with their sani-wipes, antibacterial soaps and sanitizing clothes detergents have weakened the immune systems

In an effort to keep their kids safe from illness the children themselves have become the victims

Who’da ever thought a jar of peanut butter could unleash a deadly effect on kids when the previous problem was always creamy or chunky

That and the fact the classroom full of screaming kids always smelled like the breath of a monkey

The microbes in the gut play an important part in overall health so let the kids play in the dirt

Besides this explains why rats, cockroaches and politicians seem to thrive in their own filth and always emerge unhurt