Hey Kids! What time is it?! It’s time again for the Kamala Show featuring her cast of crazy puppets
Just remember kids, these puppets all say the same thing, so they sure aren’t the Muppets
Kamala decided this is the best way to win the election. Let her puppets do her talking in their own lingo and she can hide from the press. Obviously an understudy of the demented one for the last four years
He wrote the democratic handbook on how to campaign. Come out of hiding, make a creepy, whispery, angry statement, then walk away while the world watches as he disappears
Because she can’t copy this blueprint exactly she decided to hide off-stage and let her puppets do the talking
That way she can continue to say nothing, take no questions, and not look like the dead man walking
Frieda the fry girl opens the show complete in the McDonald’s uniform with a hairnet smelling slightly like an eight dollar Big Mac
Asking a customer what kind of middle class burger they would like to fill up the sack
Next up is Mike the roughneck fracking puppet. Dressed in tough guy working clothes he praises Kamala for keeping fracking and bread on the table
What Mike doesn’t know is Kamala won’t sign the leases to permit fracking as soon as she is able
Coming on stage now is Sista Latrese, one of the black puppets Kamala takes for granted. “Of course we be voting for Kamala, cause we be part of the women of color club”
“We’re the future the democrats have been promising for 100 years and because democrats would never lie we’ll be learning to wash our greens in our middle class tub”
Hitting the stage next and keeping a wary eye out for ICE because she has no green card, is Juanita the Latin housekeeper.
Employed in a middle class home, Juanita is tired of changing linens and diapers but is grateful for the job she obtained because she works cheaper
“Still waiting on that free house,” screams Angelo the migrant Haitian puppet. “All we got now is hotel rooms, free phones and food, We demand middle class!”
Kids remember it was only six weeks ago Angelo was living in homeland squalor in a tin hut with a roof of grass
See how far Angelo’s come just by crossing the border and living off the goodness of the Red Cross and Catholic Charities
Just ignore the fact that empires have failed for centuries because of invasions, bad economies, and political divisions. History is a giant circle just look at the Roman Empire similarities
And to close out the the show is our favorite rapper Fat Slo Mo whose song We be freakin’ to the middle class is number one on the charts
With the lyrics “da bitches and da hoes better bring the goods,” we appreciate all the wisdom the song imparts
Hopefully Kamala doesn’t consider herself a hoe and the lyric is from a spurned rapper and just sour grapes
But both are hoping they don’t turn up in compromising positions on Diddy’s sex tapes
So kids come and spend an afternoon with Kamala and her friends
She won’t answer any questions and will stay quiet and not look stupid before to the White House she ascends
An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry 