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An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports

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NFL

Why has the NFL become so Lame?

For the last ten weeks the talking heads have babbled on about which team would reach the playoffs

Six or seven old players and coaches assembled every Sunday morning to analyze the matchups and to every statement made another commentator scoffs

As if the world depended on whether a 6-8 team has a chance and what things have to happen for this to fall right

Maybe their expertise allows them to realize most games scheduled are potential stinkers and to stir controversy will get the viewers to tune in tonight

Finally, after long season of increasingly bad officiating and very mediocre coaching schemes, the playoffs were decided

The season’s games had been filled with multiple three and outs, over the hill quarterbacks, and coaches that couldn’t win with what the front office provided

So the wildcard weekend kicked off to seperate the have nots from the truly inept

The games showed the glaring deficiencies in several teams, players, and owners as the season long pretenders weren’t going to win no matter how much they prepped

“Ah,” said the talking heads. “Now comes the real show. The cream always rises”

“No more of the teams that lived off the luck of strange time zone scheduling and questionable call surprises”

The combined power of the talking heads spent hours assuring viewers the upcoming games would be truly epic

To reinforce the idea the networks ran old clips of previous playoff spectacular moments to convince the most jaded skeptic

Eight teams were left, the best of the best. The fans filled the stadiums and viewers arranged their day around the broadcast

In the end four teams remained from the divisional round in which for five of these super teams’ offenses, a score of twenty points was not surpassed

Were the defenses that good played by chest pounding potential free agent multi-millionaires?

The truth is, no one over forty would ever confuse today’s product with the Steel Curtain or Da Bears

Throw in multiple official reviews when everyone watching knew if the original call was correct, five minute commercial breaks, and inane patter from the broadcast team

And the most suspense in one very boring contest was, due to kicking woes, would the coach change horses in midstream

The Championship games will be played with the three top quarterbacks in the league while the rest of the teams will have the offseason to wallow in their futility

As the pompous team owners scream they’ll be back while suffering from illusions of grandeur and advancing senility

We Expect Kickoff Within The Hour

The uproar was immediate. The woke NFL will now be playing the Black National Anthem prior to games

The furor was not from the beer fueled fans packing the stands, the cry was politicized groups feeling dissed were the claims

Soon the NFL was forced to acknowledge multiple cultures and lifestyles just to appease the many groups

In a misguided effort to mollify one group the NFL was now forced to jump through numerous hoops

While the crowd was still standing, next up to salute was the LGBTQ congregate with Queen’s We Are Champions of the World

As two transgender athletes marched across the field with the Pride flag unfurled

“We ask that you remain standing” said the announcer “While we honor the democrats”

Whilst the flag of Communist China was paraded across the field by two unemployed voters and six Chinese diplomats

The boos started raining down on the next participants as the elephant logo’d Republican flag came into view

The flag bearers didn’t seem to care the crowd was fearful that eight yahoos, one in buffalo horns, might hijack the game attempting an alleged coup

Finally last but not least was the nod to the Polish people with the high stepping tuba line

With the flag flying and the ooompahs blaring the end of the pregame was in sight and the fans could finally sit down and recline

The fans had started to weave from standing too long as the pregame had become an ordeal

So as the crowd settled in to watch controlled violence, they all wished they could have been with the players and allowed to kneel

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