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How Many Political Figures Would Survive Black Monday?

In the NFL the Monday following the last game of the season coaches not cutting the mustard are handed the rubber key

Judged by the team’s performance, it’s only the won-loss record that counts in the eyes of the powers that be

It matters not that owners’ egos, front office incompetents, and disgruntled players might have helped the coaches out the door

Injuries, bad calls, and missed field goals don’t matter at the end of the year, all that matters is the final score

It’s really too bad that political figures aren’t held to the same standard as the coaches

If a yearly grade determines that person’s right to stay in power, maybe something would be accomplished as zero hour approaches. In Congress no term limits instead of yearly judgement have kept these wooden totems in place far too long

Living large off the public feeding trough and continuously reminding Americans they were around when America was strong

Pick a Biden any Biden, and not one of them would have survived the first dismal season

Hunter (the coach’s yes-man) should be staring out from between bars, Jill (head cheerleader) accomplishes nothing and dresses like she’s looking for a hook up in third rate honky tonk and Joe (Head Coach) should be tried for treason

Gavin Newsom (VP of game plans) has single handily destroyed California. Running businesses out, raised taxes on top of taxes and offering migrants free healthcare

Alejandro Myorkas (Head Defensive Coach) A hand-picked defensive coordinator has left a huge gap in the defensive line that looks impossible to repair

Mitch McConnell (Head of Restaurant Operations) Mitch arrived at the other side of the hill years ago. He is now regarded a just a figurehead

His sole job is to make sure the feeding trough stays full and all the Rinos are well-fed

Lloyd Austin (Head Offensive Coordinator) has missed some meetings and disappeared into the hospital. He will now remain out of sight until a carefully written press release explains his how his elective surgery will somehow benefit the administrations game plan

And that release will be delivered with a straight face by the media relations secretary hoping her story will smooth things over before the real shit hits the fan

So many more names all feeling unapproachable by the American public. Maybe the NFL has it right. Base employment for another season on how they finish the year

And do not allow America to limp through another year with a losing campaign and flushed down the drain by well funded boosters and a demented angry racketeer

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NFL-Now For Losers

The final whistle has blown. Another afternoon of boredom had finished with a game winning field goal in a thrilling 15-12 dog fight

For sixty minutes the product that was the NFL had arm tackled, slid, challenged, reviewed, and penalized their way through another contest that failed to excite

Oh, sure the hard core and somewhat nostalgic fans had dressed up, painted their faces and shouted their lungs out

But in all truthfulness there were harder hits in the beer line at the concession stand between a loudmouth in the opponents jersey and a home team drunken lout

Of course this wasn’t seen on the dreary television broadcast. Viewers only see a guy with an annoying monotone and an ex-jock who talks like he’s taken one too many blows to the head

Not knowing when to shut up and hopefully wowing his viewing audience with football terms like a-gap, mike linebacker, and the spread

We’re all impressed with your knowledge and attempt to make a team seem relevant when the last five possessions resulted in 3 punts, a fumble and a field goal

Completely waxing over the fact the quarterback play was abysmal, tackling was nonexistent, and the star safety is now out on parole

There will be no nostalgic memories of this generation’s games. No Immaculate Reception, the Catch, or the Ice Bowl

Just a group of money hungry executives with a poor product selling you on London games, Thursday night boredom, and a game with no soul

Pro football has become a marketing tool for the Uber-rich owners and the advertisers that line their pocket books

They’ll play to the current media fad. They’ll kneel for the National Anthem, place Love stickers on the helmets, charge $14 for a beer endorsed by a transgender and not care how it looks

There’s a review after every catch, every touchdown and every out of bounds play

The five minutes spent looking at the play from every angle are spent by blasting gambling, delivery pizza, and car commercials to the viewers that shelled out big bucks to watch this pathetic display

The Purple People Eaters today would all be suspended and the Steel Curtain would be on report in the commisioner’s office for their attacking style of defense

The play today consists of the line of scrimmage forced to play patty cake and the secondary giving the receiver every advantage as some idiot fan proudly displays a D and a picket fence

While a buff female sideline judge, who couldn’t quite hack the cheerleading squad, determines if an offensive player stepped on the sidelines

Who will then huddle with the rest of the steroid enriched officiating crew to determine if a penalty review is warranted to which the opposing coach declines

There’s now obvious holding on every play, tackling is a forgotten art and running backs run with their head down looking for a soft place to land

Quarterbacks slide if breathed upon, opposition players flop like caught mackerels on late drives when timeouts are scarce, and the team seemingly can’t comprehend the plays on their wristband

The game has become wearisome. A once violent game whose now show of force is the woke classroom training of what’s permissible and what is disbarred

Reduced now to this year’s biggest NFL story of a pop star dating a left guard

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Why has the NFL become so Lame?

For the last ten weeks the talking heads have babbled on about which team would reach the playoffs

Six or seven old players and coaches assembled every Sunday morning to analyze the matchups and to every statement made another commentator scoffs

As if the world depended on whether a 6-8 team has a chance and what things have to happen for this to fall right

Maybe their expertise allows them to realize most games scheduled are potential stinkers and to stir controversy will get the viewers to tune in tonight

Finally, after long season of increasingly bad officiating and very mediocre coaching schemes, the playoffs were decided

The season’s games had been filled with multiple three and outs, over the hill quarterbacks, and coaches that couldn’t win with what the front office provided

So the wildcard weekend kicked off to separate the have nots from the truly inept

The games showed the glaring deficiencies in several teams, players, and owners as the season long pretenders weren’t going to win no matter how much they prepped

“Ah,” said the talking heads. “Now comes the real show. The cream always rises”

“No more of the teams that lived off the luck of strange time zone scheduling and questionable call surprises”

The combined power of the talking heads spent hours assuring viewers the upcoming games would be truly epic

To reinforce the idea the networks ran old clips of previous playoff spectacular moments to convince the most jaded skeptic

Eight teams were left, the best of the best. The fans filled the stadiums and viewers arranged their day around the broadcast

In the end four teams remained from the divisional round in which for five of these super teams’ offenses, a score of twenty points was not surpassed

Were the defenses that good played by chest pounding potential free agent multi-millionaires?

The truth is, no one over forty would ever confuse today’s product with the Steel Curtain or Da Bears

Throw in multiple official reviews when everyone watching knew if the original call was correct, five minute commercial breaks, and inane patter from the broadcast team

And the most suspense in one very boring contest was, due to kicking woes, would the coach change horses in midstream

The Championship games will be played with the three top quarterbacks in the league while the rest of the teams will have the offseason to wallow in their futility

As the pompous team owners scream they’ll be back while suffering from illusions of grandeur and advancing senility

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We Expect Kickoff Within The Hour

The uproar was immediate. The woke NFL will now be playing the Black National Anthem prior to games

The furor was not from the beer fueled fans packing the stands, the cry was politicized groups feeling dissed were the claims

Soon the NFL was forced to acknowledge multiple cultures and lifestyles just to appease the many groups

In a misguided effort to mollify one group the NFL was now forced to jump through numerous hoops

While the crowd was still standing, next up to salute was the LGBTQ congregate with Queen’s We Are Champions of the World

As two transgender athletes marched across the field with the Pride flag unfurled

“We ask that you remain standing” said the announcer “While we honor the democrats”

Whilst the flag of Communist China was paraded across the field by two unemployed voters and six Chinese diplomats

The boos started raining down on the next participants as the elephant logo’d Republican flag came into view

The flag bearers didn’t seem to care the crowd was fearful that eight yahoos, one in buffalo horns, might hijack the game attempting an alleged coup

Finally last but not least was the nod to the Polish people with the high stepping tuba line

With the flag flying and the ooompahs blaring the end of the pregame was in sight and the fans could finally sit down and recline

The fans had started to weave from standing too long as the pregame had become an ordeal

So as the crowd settled in to watch controlled violence, they all wished they could have been with the players and allowed to kneel

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