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Kamala’s accents

When You Don’t Know Any Black People

Sometimes people wonder how Kamala Harris became the democratic presidential candidate for the United States

As for 3 1/2 years she was a no show at the southern border, accomplished little as a Vice President and was very ordinary in debates

When picking a running mate in August of 2019 Biden stated he would like to pick a woman and preferably a woman of color

His team suddenly got that queasy feeling as they scrambled to find someone to fill the bill fitting that description, both qualified and not make him look any duller

He’d already expressed the requirements for a minority serving in office with a previous statement about Obama sending staffers scurrying before the crap could hit the fan

“I mean you got the first mainstream African American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice looking guy, I mean that’s storybook man”

So who do you get? Biden didn’t have much of a track record in supporting the advancement of minorities

It seemed only at election time was minority achievement moved to the head of priorities

The pickings in Congress were limited to a few new hires mostly unknown outside their district or state

And a couple of the more well-known black women were recognized for spewing racial division and hate

It boiled down to a relatively unknown person whose only claim to fame had been for jailing pot smokers and stinging Biden in the debate with the scripted “that little girl was me”

Checking the boxes for articulate and clean with bright being a little iffy and not that dark she became the nominee

In keeping with the democratic campaign strategy, she too hides from the press and media questions and picked someone as a running mate whom no one would shoot because he makes her look good

So the picture is painted. You’ve got a strange socialist VP candidate shown as a good ole “aw shucks” farm boy and the Presidential candidate with her phoney accents supposedly at ease in high society or the hood

Little did Biden know when selecting his running mate, she’d have the final say in giving his re-election chances a thumbs down

Ambitions rule, power and greed always reigns, it was time to crown a queen and hand the rubber key to the clown

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Kamala’s Krazy Kharacters

Hey Kids! What time is it?! It’s time again for the Kamala Show featuring her cast of crazy puppets

Just remember kids, these puppets all say the same thing, so they sure aren’t the Muppets

Kamala decided this is the best way to win the election. Let her puppets do her talking in their own lingo and she can hide from the press. Obviously an understudy of the demented one for the last four years

He wrote the democratic handbook on how to campaign. Come out of hiding, make a creepy, whispery, angry statement, then walk away while the world watches as he disappears

Because she can’t copy this blueprint exactly she decided to hide off-stage and let her puppets do the talking

That way she can continue to say nothing, take no questions, and not look like the dead man walking

Frieda the fry girl opens the show complete in the McDonald’s uniform with a hairnet smelling slightly like an eight dollar Big Mac

Asking a customer what kind of middle class burger they would like to fill up the sack

Next up is Mike the roughneck fracking puppet. Dressed in tough guy working clothes he praises Kamala for keeping fracking and bread on the table

What Mike doesn’t know is Kamala won’t sign the leases to permit fracking as soon as she is able

Coming on stage now is Sista Latrese, one of the black puppets Kamala takes for granted. “Of course we be voting for Kamala, cause we be part of the women of color club”

“We’re the future the democrats have been promising for 100 years and because democrats would never lie we’ll be learning to wash our greens in our middle class tub”

Hitting the stage next and keeping a wary eye out for ICE because she has no green card, is Juanita the Latin housekeeper.

Employed in a middle class home, Juanita is tired of changing linens and diapers but is grateful for the job she obtained because she works cheaper

“Still waiting on that free house,” screams Angelo the migrant Haitian puppet. “All we got now is hotel rooms, free phones and food, We demand middle class!”

Kids remember it was only six weeks ago Angelo was living in homeland squalor in a tin hut with a roof of grass

See how far Angelo’s come just by crossing the border and living off the goodness of the Red Cross and Catholic Charities

Just ignore the fact that empires have failed for centuries because of invasions, bad economies, and political divisions. History is a giant circle just look at the Roman Empire similarities

And to close out the the show is our favorite rapper Fat Slo Mo whose song We be freakin’ to the middle class is number one on the charts

With the lyrics “da bitches and da hoes better bring the goods,” we appreciate all the wisdom the song imparts

Hopefully Kamala doesn’t consider herself a hoe and the lyric is from a spurned rapper and just sour grapes

But both are hoping they don’t turn up in compromising positions on Diddy’s sex tapes

So kids come and spend an afternoon with Kamala and her friends

She won’t answer any questions and will stay quiet and not look stupid before to the White House she ascends

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