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An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

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informercial

TV Commercials BD&AD


Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s TV commercials had a different tone
They were aired to catch your interest and not offend with what was shown

Who doesn’t remember the product sold when you hear “Mother please I’d rather do it myself” or “My bologna has a first name.”
But then along came a commercial that changed the whole ballgame

The advertisement showed two women walking in an idyllic setting on a sunrise beach discussing why one doesn’t feel “fresh” enough
“Pam” one says as the water laps over their feet. “Sometimes I think I smell pretty rough.”

To which Pam goes on to praise the new product she uses
She continues to rave about the ease of use and the sense of confidence the product produces

It seems it was a douche commercial that opened advertisers’ eyes
Suddenly the gloves were off and for any malady no matter how disturbing there was a product cure for a spokesperson to advise

So now the commercial world can be classified before douche and after douche or BD&AD
BD commercials were as always hard sell but without all the side effects hooey

However BD commercials’ catchphrases would probably have completely different connotations for AD products sold today
The “put a tiger in your tank’ slogan could be used to end erectile dysfunction dismay

And “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing ,” when the person is the size of a minivan
Would now be a commercial for a weight reduction plan

This new age of loathsome advertising might have been avoided when the original two women strolling along the sandy track
If in their conversation Pam had turned to her companion and said, “it’s not you it was that dead jellyfish we passed about 100 yards back

Time For Dr. Dan: The Late Night Discount Cosmetic Surgeon Man

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Friends, we’ll be right back to the show. Hello and welcome, Dr Dan here

Do you wish upon waking in the morning your youthful looks would reappear

With the help of our newly remodeled Discount Cosmetic Surgery, you can

Whether you’re tucking in your mommy floppies or own a rear the size of a sedan

Our trained staff at the clinic can turn your current look into tomorrows beauty

So you can have the divine figure, more hair and a jaw dropping booty

Don’t forget to ask about one of our many legendary discount specials

We offer our popular two for one deals that covers the essentials

Guys, our hair clinic can add hair Daniel Boone might want to skin

And we can liposuction that beer belly to make you look thin

For you ladies we can pull up those boobs to again point the way

And tighten the chin and crows feet to keep Mr. Age at bay

If your face needs a little tweak or a complete renovation

Call the 800 number on the screen for more information`

Think your budget can’t handle looking good

We offer plenty of discount specials when you think you could

Our expert specialists can transplant hair one at a time

After a $200 deposit each follicle implant is only a dime

That tattoo your ex boyfriend said would be a good idea

Who’s now doing hard time and gave you gonorrhea

For just a few dollars, we can laser it off with little pain

You pay only by the inch and we won’t leave a stain

Our low cost Botox will make your lips look like bratwurst

Your date won’t be able to turn away when those lips are pursed

Tired of your neighbors talking about your schnoz challenged daughter

Saying she could breathe through her nose while submerged in water

With our easy payment plan she’ll have a nose like a pixie

And when we say we can do that we ain’t whistling Dixie

Finally don’t forget about our biannual Moonlight Madness Sale

From seven to twelve our fabulous bargains will prevail

Discounts are huge and prices are slashed

So open that coffee can where that mad money is stashed

Because our $59.99 turkey neck special is first come first serve

Give yourself the radiant look you know you deserve

One lucky grand prize winner gets to reach into our Basket O’ Breasts

To receive a free pair of gently used implants from one of our upgraded guests

These implants like the rest of our procedures all carry a 90 day guarantee

Should you not be 100% satisfied we’ll replace them for free

When it’s time to refresh yourself, after age takes its toll

Come see us and by the way,  Hablamos Español

There’s hot dogs and sodas for all who stop by

Why not just once reach for the sky

Give us a call, the number is at the bottom of the screen

So you can once again be stepping out like a king and a queen

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