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Health insurance

Blink Away! Damn Ye!

The bill had shown up in yesterday’s mail. The physician had billed the insurance company, but the company had only paid 25%

After paying the standard $50 co-pay you had hoped the insurance company would cover the balance over what you’d already spent

But here it is. An additional charge of $410 for a ten-minute consultation with a PA and a standard throat culture

You mistakenly figured the $165 withheld from every paycheck would cover something but there you were, miserable, being eyed like roadkill from a vulture

Therefore you brought up your laptop to find the doctor’s portal checking to see if the bill was in order

And sure enough, the never seen doctor has signed off on the charge much to your horror

Now having to turn to your little book filled with usernames and passwords, to find your current insurance provider

As usual the crossouts, write-overs, and highlighted words in the insurance section resembled a web created by a drunken spider

Typing in the eight letters and symbols thought to create the current strong password, you hit submit

Instantly the red sentence appears advising the password entered is incorrect please readmit

Sent again after carefully typing the letters and symbols, the same warning appeared along with the annoying grating question of “forgot password?”

The swearing that followed cleared three days of phlegm from the irritated throat and echoed off the walls, but your cat was the only one that heard

So you went to the live chat. That digital friend that beckons you to ask a question

After identifying yourself with your insurance card and birthdate the screen pops with “a service representative will be with you shortly,” doing nothing for your now bubbling indigestion

“Ob-li-dee Ob-li-da” the soft tones of the Harmonica Cats droned on interrupted only with “Your call is very important to us, please continue to hold”

After twenty-five minutes with your bladder at def-con 4, the announcement appeared that you are currently next in line to be consoled

Meanwhile, in the Delhi, India call center the employees are engaged in the game of best time slots given to the number of calls taken

But the one flashing message had your anticipation growing that you would not be forsaken

Unfortunately your call had been routed to Bugwan going by his call center name of Steven

Bugwan it seems has a bad attitude and currently has nine hours left on late shift as his track record has been uneven

As you’re staring at the screen for ten straight minutes waiting for someone to pick up, “Ob-La-de”

Steven stares at his console munching on yesterday’s Balti Chicken thinking “Blink away Damn Ye”

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When the UCLA Med School Diploma is hanging on the Wall

The receptionist had me all checked in and yes, this was the one office that accepted my insurance

All that was required was a $25 copay and that would be my only out-of-pocket expense. I had their assurance

The waiting room was empty except for one very obese woman who was obviously a heavy smoker

With her oxygen mask in place she mumbled about soda prices as she had just come from the grocer

She stated the price of the 2 liter soft drink she was consuming was up fifty cents since the start of the year

Then she said this was the lone doctor she could see as this office was the only one in her network taking new patients and her pains had grown more severe

The door to the back opened and a nurse called my name and ushered me into an examination room

She took my blood pressure, my weight, and asked all the questions like how much alcohol did I consume

She then said the doctor would be right in and only then did I notice the UCLA Med School diploma hanging on the wall

Being new to the area when trying to match doctors to my employers health insurance, I didn’t notice the UCLA med school graduate listing on the internet that I recall

Nervously I waited for the doctor and sure enough with a knock on the door a young black doctor appeared

The dilemma in my head immediately triggered the run reflex as this was a MD who might not be qualified to guide my health issues or so I feared

I’d seen the news reports on the different sets of rules for people of color thanks to UCLA’s DEI guidelines

I seems the academics in charge were more concerned with racial quotas and apparently born without spines

I need this physical as my employer demands it but what to do now as my mind is reeling

So what is the answer to this young doctor’s general question of how are you feeling?

Do you ask for a list of qualifications? Did any med schools turn you down before UCLA?

Would the doctor feel slighted and profiled if I asked about their background or do I just nod my head and say okay?

In between the I-pod being filled in with information about my heart beat and the latest immunization

I’m silently hoping in med school training the patient’s nose didn’t light up when the doc tried to remove the funny bone in the board game of Operation

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Fighting The Elements

The first of the month was once again here and the monthly bill paying depression had set in. For the last three years just breaking even was the goal, forget about being in the black

Cutting more costs now seemed out of the question but the bills continue to grow judging by the size of the stack

The promotion and raise had happened but easy street was nowhere to be found

Now there is additional job stress with more responsibility and longer hours as the road to financial freedom never gains ground

The commute alone is $150 more a month for the forty-five minute one way trip

The price of gas has been up two dollars for three years and the cost of operating the car never seems to dip

The new battery was $175 and the two older tires are not showing much tread

The car seemed like a bargain when parked on the lot but no one ever discussed the overhead

And don’t even start a discussion about car insurance or any insurance for that matter

Like vultures in a tree the insurance corporations look for any reason to make their profits fatter

The premium increase notice had been received for both car and health

No claims had been filed for either, so the notice claimed the “price adjustments were never easy” as the unspoken truth was we needed to adjust our wealth

While the ever multiplying “you may owe” letters pour in from the insurer for the regular physicals and procedures that used to paid in full

Now the insurers look at what the physician charges like a red flag in the face of a bull

The doctors are charging more to cover their spiraling office outlay costs and escalating insurance expense

It seems every year a jury awards a 50 million dollar settlement for a botched operation and a huge premium increase is the insurers’ knee-jerk defense

In turn the physicians charge more than the insurance companies pay and pass the difference on to the patient

Perhaps not the amount billed to the underwriters but enough to make their time sufficient

While the patient sits in the examination room answering questions like “Are you feeling depressed?”

Perhaps there is a way a citizen could break from this monthly bill paying torture they absolutely detest

They can purchase a one way ticket to Mexico and walk across the border claiming they are a Central American deportee

And all those bills causing anxiety and sleep deprivation will suddenly be free

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The Paper Cut

paper-cut-2

I was grateful for this part time job, the pay was okay, and liked the people there

But the monotony of filing and proof reading reports was sometimes hard to bear.

The third cup of coffee was ineffective and my eyes were slowly closing

The sales numbers report to be delivered tomorrow wasn’t keeping me from dozing

Trained as an accountant and twenty five years of service, I was let go for a company down size

With bills to pay and kids in school, waiting for a full time gig seemed unwise

The shift was over in twenty minutes and the printer collator was on the fritz again

The contract service person was to be there but no one knows when

The presentation was to be completed by close of business day

Or a report will be filed in your personnel jacket much to your dismay

All was plodding along as expected when one of the sheets sliced through some skin

It wasn’t deep or long but some blood fell on the report and began sinking in

“You need to take that to a doctor,” said the office manager appearing like an apparition

“That’s not a suggestion,” she said all puffed up. “Now go see a physician.”

“I guess that since this is going to cost I’ll be covered by workman’s compensation.”

“No,” she said. “We don’t have enough full time employees to need that regulation.”

“Great no Workman’s Comp.,” I thought. “Not only no lunch break but no insurance.”

‘Don’t worry, they’ll probably band aid it.” She stated with her toneless assurance.

The doc-in-the-box was right around the corner next to the Quik Snip style store.

Stepping out of the car and over the chewing gum, I went through the glass door.

The woman behind the glass frowned. “With no insurance you need to pay in advance.”

“That’ll be seventy five dollars,” and still hadn’t given my wound so much as a glance.

So I wrote the check and thought that was half my pay for the week.

So I sat in a hard plastic chair smelling of alcohol and hair boutique.

I left the dog eared magazine for fear of six months of cooties jumping on me.

“Sir if you hang up your phone, you can come back now,” said the NP.

And from the attitude I knew right away she was not my cup of tea.

Her hair was spiked and her nose piercing appeared inflamed and infected

And a misspelling of one of her tattoos appeared to be corrected.

“So let’s see this little cut,” she said sliding a lamp over her head

The light shone on the cut and a dark spot was on the wound where it had bled.

“Hmm,” she hummed. “This dark spot may be dirt or possibly a cause for worry.”

I’m sending you over to the GP this afternoon, I hope you’re not in a hurry.”

“But I can’t afford another doc.” I said trying to be civil and not sound like a jerk.

“You’ll need to go,” she replied. “He’s right around the corner and then you can return to work

I can’t give you a note as there are tests needed here and you haven’t been cleared.”

“Damn,”I thought. “This little paper cut is starting to add up to much worse than I feared.”

The next office, three blocks away appeared to be nicer than the one before

The carpets were clean, the chairs padded, and no greasy smudges on the door.

The receptionist seemed cheery enough behind her sliding glass and jar of pens

“I heard you don’t have insurance,” she smiled looking over her reading half lens

“We received a call from your last visit and we’ll be sending your blood sample to the lab.”

“The lab we use charges $175 we need the check up front,” So far no one’s glanced at the scab.

So a heavyset woman in too tight scrubs took a large amount of blood to fill a vial

Then slapped a super hero band aid over the tiny cut and waddled down the aisle

“Am I going to see a real doctor,” I asked the nurse while buttoning my shirt

“Not today,” she replied. “ We had a patient come in that was really hurt.”

“And I see by your chart you only paid for lab work and didn’t pay for a doc.”

“Just as well,” I thought as I left the office. “I didn’t want to put my car in hock.”

“We’ll call with the results,” she said. “And here’s a note to get back to your business

And remember to sanitize your hands to ensure you didn’t pick up a sickness.”

So two hundred and fifty lighter I sit in my stifling hot car turning up the air

“It’s all stacked against the little people,”  I thought. “We get by on a wing and a prayer.”

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