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Why The Infatuation With Red Onions

The neighbor had been bragging for months about his secret pizza recipe

He claimed this pizza was so good, a person eating it would need therapy

And to enhance the pizza, he recently purchased a $600 outdoor pizza oven that heats to 800 degrees

Because after tasting this he boasted he’d start a new pizza chain and would have to fight off potential franchisees

So, the small group assembled on his deck and watched as the pie was ceremoniously placed on the hot stone

Seven minutes later the pizza came out piping hot, charred just right and to a hungry man the aroma of expensive cologne

Eagerly blowing on my slice, mouth watering in anticipation the overpowering taste of red onion came as quite a shock

The list of potential franchisees dwindled rapidly and as a group mumbled about having to go while asking if they could take the rest of their slice home in a zip lock

The red onion once again raised its fetid stench to kill what could have been a delicious taste test

But cooks and chefs everywhere use and praise this red bulb like it was the winner of an onion love fest

Many a sandwich and salad combo has been ruined by the pungent taste

Maybe the onion flavor was used to cover off flavor of nearly expired ingredients to keep from being waste

Think about how many nights have been spent on the sofa after consuming a few strands of the red

Close conversation, nuzzling on a love seat, and lovemaking are definitely out as the onion once again rears its ugly head

The bonus to the onion dilemma is it hangs in one’s mouth and hands the following day

It’s taste takes no backseat to any ingredient in guacamole, chicken salad, or a bowl of chili, but the plus side is it might keep bugs away

Perhaps the baby that granny was fussing over for crying through the night might be caused by the nursing mother

Because when standing at the deli counter and nodding yes to pickled red onion on her sandwich any thought of affecting the baby went in one ear and out the other

There are many varieties of onion to sample and savor

But don’t ruin a hard afternoon in the kitchen with an acidic red onion. That would do all diners a favor

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Maybe You’ll Tolerate This Drug Better

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines tolerate: to endure or resist the action of (something, such as drugs or food) without serious side effects or discomfort

The doctors casually throw this word around to patients when the last drug prescribed caused them to hurt

Still not reducing the size of the baggie filled with prescription bottles of assigned pills

All in an attempt of reducing this patient’s misery and hoping the interaction with the other eight prescribed medicines isn’t what kills

Big Pharma might be pleased with the results. Just maybe this will be a commonly prescribed drug as the test rats are still alive

And if the patient can survive another five years, we can all pat ourselves on the back on how long the patient can survive

Then Big Pharma can lean on the insurance companies, the insurance companies their hospital groups, and the hospital groups their associated physicians

And should the patient balk at a new higher priced drug, the doctors have been programmed to say this drug might be their last chance given their conditions

The boardroom will be a happy place as this drug plus the other eight will make this individual worth 156 grand

And by tying in the insurance companies and their associated hospital groups, we can increase demand

We don’t ever want to address the root cause of this malady as that would end our never ending payday

And cause our ever-growing house of cards to collapse and decay

We can put this pill in a TV ad with a paid actor’s sworn testimony

And potential customers will eat it up not reading the fine print as they would see the ad as phony

Statistics will become a factor. Of the 1000 people not taking this drug (regardless of lifestyle) three people died

And only one person died of the 1000 taking the drug so one would have a 68% of not surviving if you don’t take this drug or so the stats implied

So if you can tolerate this drug and the side effects don’t cripple your lifestyle, you can join the happy people from the ad on the beach kicking up sand

And you’ll never know to that drug company you’re only worth 156 grand

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Blink Away! Damn Ye!

The bill had shown up in yesterday’s mail. The physician had billed the insurance company, but the company had only paid 25%

After paying the standard $50 co-pay you had hoped the insurance company would cover the balance over what you’d already spent

But here it is. An additional charge of $410 for a ten-minute consultation with a PA and a standard throat culture

You mistakenly figured the $165 withheld from every paycheck would cover something but there you were, miserable, being eyed like roadkill from a vulture

Therefore you brought up your laptop to find the doctor’s portal checking to see if the bill was in order

And sure enough, the never seen doctor has signed off on the charge much to your horror

Now having to turn to your little book filled with usernames and passwords, to find your current insurance provider

As usual the crossouts, write-overs, and highlighted words in the insurance section resembled a web created by a drunken spider

Typing in the eight letters and symbols thought to create the current strong password, you hit submit

Instantly the red sentence appears advising the password entered is incorrect please readmit

Sent again after carefully typing the letters and symbols, the same warning appeared along with the annoying grating question of “forgot password?”

The swearing that followed cleared three days of phlegm from the irritated throat and echoed off the walls, but your cat was the only one that heard

So you went to the live chat. That digital friend that beckons you to ask a question

After identifying yourself with your insurance card and birthdate the screen pops with “a service representative will be with you shortly,” doing nothing for your now bubbling indigestion

“Ob-li-dee Ob-li-da” the soft tones of the Harmonica Cats droned on interrupted only with “Your call is very important to us, please continue to hold”

After twenty-five minutes with your bladder at def-con 4, the announcement appeared that you are currently next in line to be consoled

Meanwhile, in the Delhi, India call center the employees are engaged in the game of best time slots given to the number of calls taken

But the one flashing message had your anticipation growing that you would not be forsaken

Unfortunately your call had been routed to Bugwan going by his call center name of Steven

Bugwan it seems has a bad attitude and currently has nine hours left on late shift as his track record has been uneven

As you’re staring at the screen for ten straight minutes waiting for someone to pick up, “Ob-La-de”

Steven stares at his console munching on yesterday’s Balti Chicken thinking “Blink away Damn Ye”

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Its Different When Its Your House On Fire

The news teams were running, trying to keep up with the fire. The burning embers were igniting everything in it’s 75/mph path

The local and state politicians were serving up massive portions of word salad trying to escape their citizens wrath

The photo op governor was caught in the act of lying to one distraught lady

This, the same man in years past, seen dining at an upscale restaurant while locking down the rest of the state as he’s always been shady

The mayor was in Africa living high on the taxpayers dime attending an inaugural event while her city burned

Obviously from her slow response time to this crisis she wasn’t to be bothered or concerned

A drone damaged one of the two Super Scooper airplanes used to drop 1500 gallons of water on the blaze

And the smoke from the fire made breathing difficult and visibility limited due to the haze

Firetrucks sat idling waiting to enter some neighborhoods as abandoned vehicles had to be moved as the only road in they were blocking

The formerly disparaged cops were checking ID’s to keep the criminals and homeless from looting anything not smoldering and worth hocking

The Governor had previously waved his regulation wand and forced insurance companies to toe HIS line like previous communist tyrants

Due to California regulations on insurance companies keeping them from raising their rates, the companies cancelled the homeowner policies with their clients

Back up water reservoirs were not filled as an endangered sardine sized fish might be left unprotected

However, the president in a moment of clarity did promise 100% of recovery expenses paid for the first six months or so he directed

The sound of these news conferences came through the tinny speakers of the portable TV the young mother had set on a table

The shivering woman had knocked most of the snow off the walls of her tent and tucked the blanket around the sleeping child as much as she was able

Still waiting on FEMA money from the total devastation in North Carolina delivered by the hurricane in September

While celebrities were crying in LA for the cameras because they had lost everything two days ago. She quietly hoped someone in DC might take a moment to remember

The treatment in this predominately republican area has gone from political double-talk to conditions positively inhumane

As she tearfully watches this administration promise $150 billion more to the people of Ukraine

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Big Pharma’s New Money Grab

The group had gathered on the street corner as it was time for the delivery van to appear

Anxiously waiting for the musical tune playing from the rooftop speakers they were all straining to hear

Paper sacks holding their morning fast food biscuits and eight dollar high calorie coffee drinks, they all had their $1000 bills clutched in their greasy hands

They washed down their regular morning fare with their caramel macchiatos and shivered off the cold knowing this is the solution to why their waist continually expands

The van served as a dispensary for the new fad of weight loss hiding under the guise of diabetes drugs

They had constantly complained to the doctor about their BMI. So rather than the standard lecture about better diet, exercise, and lifestyle changes, he sighs, writes the script and just shrugs

Fueled by the relentless barrage of TV commercials emphasizing the “some weight loss might occur,” they all knew this was the answer to their triple X jeans

Big Pharma had another winner on its hands. These drugs were this year’s money grab like the previous years with the covid vaccines

The commercial of the happy chubby girl dancing on the concrete retaining wall had grabbed their attention

The fact she has the same issues of tight airline seats, obvious muffin tops and constricting seat belts were all beyond their comprehension

With this drug they could now indulge in their favorite foods and still lose weight

Chocolate, pizza, and all fast food no longer needed a second of thought because it doesn’t matter what they ate

The cash register was ringing loudly in Big Pharma’s bean counters office and there was celebration in the board room

Why be concerned with America’s health and well-being when there is no limit to the drugs they’ve been programmed to consume

So this weight challenged group were already making allowances for the grand a month added to the household expense

Savings for retirement, home renovations, and rainy day funds used to make commonsense

Now the new line of thought is lose weight the easy way with an injection a week

And to find a physician who will write a script from a Canadian pharmacy for the drug at a reduced rate is the goal they seek

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