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Hamas

Please Listen Carefully As Our Menu Has Changed

You have reached the number of the United States of America. If this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911

Included in the 911 request would be unhinged liberals, gang members, and any violence prone individual packing a gun

If you know your party’s extension you may dial it at any time, for all others please listen to the following menu

Please press the # sign to have the menu repeated and then * to continue

For those needing assistance when their USAID check is stopped please press two

For those groups demanding violent protests please press 4 for assistance with your attempted coup

For those needing to see a dox list of Tesla owners, please press 3 for locations of cars to key

For those tattooed gang members whose future might include an El Salvadorean prison, press 5 before becoming a deportee

For judges who have appointed themselves a superior being, please press 6 for a copy of the Constitution

To read and understand before the father of a crime victim is on your front porch seeking retribution

For those thugs looking to turn Boston into a third world slum, please press 7.

As the mayor’s sheltered life sees no fault in sanctuary cities and turning Beantown into migrant heaven

Please press 8 if you want to continue in your world filled with hate

If you hate your country, loath your life, and despise yourself, keep #8 on speed dial for waking every morning irate

If you just want to whine, please press 9. You’ve keyed a Tesla, supported Hama’s reign of terror, and mutilated yourself for a gender redesign

And yet you look in the mirror everyday and try to ignore the miserable person looking back, knowing all would be better if the current administration would just resign

Please press the # button to hear the menu again or press 0 to talk to an American outside a major metro area

Because remaining in a democratic run city can only lead to mental illness hysteria

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How Will We Ever Survive?

As the rotors turned lifting the Biden legacy from the Capitol grounds, the question is how will America survive?

America, once a powerful nation, had become a world-wide laughingstock as the economy, military might, and common sense values had all taken a nose dive

As the left tried to erase all history the rest of America was trying to wash the filth of Washington off its feet

The once thriving economy offering hopes and dreams to all now had citizens just trying to make ends meet

Ordered to mask up, social distance, and line up for the shot, the pretentious little man pushed his questionable vaccine

Seizing the opportunity to further line his pockets the administration pushed everything green

But electric vehicles proved a hindrance when needed in an emergency as they were constantly pulled off duty for a time-consuming recharge

Pumping money into the endless Ukraine demands the now unsustainable national debt grew quite large

But seeing the need for additional spending on the pork democrats wanted, the treasury department just printed more

Hamas backed the milquetoast policymakers into a corner with high definition violence and gore

Everyday citizens fought in retailer’s aisles for baby formula and toilet paper

The President couldn’t be bothered with the natural disasters causing the LA wildfires, Hurricane Helene, and the East Palestine train wreck vapor

He had more important thing to do like acknowledging multiple genders as the entire animal kingdom looked on in disbelief

As evidenced by, at the time, the Department of Energy transgender employee and luggage thief

Defacing and tearing down monuments dedicated to America’s past warts and all as leftists wanted to tell their own version and rewrite history

Why destruction of America’s past seemed important to this short-sighted movement still remains a mystery

Biden pulled his white supremacy lecture on numerous occasions and justified his arrogance by naming a black Vice President who would end up pulling the plug on his second term

As America realized their President was nothing more than a babbling degenerate and mentally infirm

Hoping to get the votes from the millions of illegal migrants streaming across the border

He ran out of time and tenure as his hand-picked VP lost the race while millions from the Third World watched in horror

His final gesture to cement his legacy was to pardon his crooked family to become the sleaziest President on record

Once on the departure helicopter, the only thing he failed to do was moon the public when he was on board

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