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The New Non-Binary Fast Food

In a last ditch effort to keep Biden in office, Venezuela, Nicaragua, and Mexico were all admitted as new states

Congress approved admittance of these new states with “yea” votes by all democrats and 16 rinos with a triumphant President claiming it “doesn’t matter how you do in debates”

With four more years of democrats driving working people out of business fast food restaurants took notice

Because the price of value meals is at an all time high the franchisees had a bone to pick with the POTUS

So in keeping with the current trend of bowing to the vocal non-binary trans group

The owners voted and all decided to jump through one more hoop

The thought being is to change the long-standing name of the restaurants to something that played to this group and the liberal press

New branding of the established signature items might be enough to be considered progress

A family of four can now escape a quick serve establishment for approximately $89.85

Due to profit margins shrunk to the penny the restaurant owners were fighting just to survive

Bun Queen now offers its meaty flame broiled burger as the Big Stimulator

This hot juicy product is now a favorite with the non-binary crowd and drag queens in particular

Them-Fil-A once frowned upon for their conservative leanings has had a 180 degree turn in philosophy with this drive thru treasure

Now one can have the Original They-fil-a with the still cold waffle fries a pink lemonade and a wish of “for your pleasure”

Tinker Bell once popular for crushing the late night cravings now features menu items named after woke Disney characters such as Chaps and Dale guacamole

And features a very heavy Three Gay Caballeros flatbread melt, that if thrown across the room could knock down a hockey goalie

McDonnas used to rule the roost, now falling profits have forced drastic moves

The one time signature items are gone replaced with the Big Butch, The Quarter Bender, and the ever popular Rainbow Meal with a toy DEI guidelines approves

Blame it on the economy, the pandemic, government mandates, payroll increases or anything else that has wrecked the fast food trade

But if the democrats continue to destroy the American way of life to pad their own pockets, the fast food industry will be a memory in another decade

The lobster and steak will continue to be served on gold rimmed plates to the Washington elite

And they’ll do anything to stay in power including lie, steal, and cheat

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Nickel and Dimeing Your TV Viewing to the Poorhouse

Back in the day television was a simple thing. Three channels of black and white delivered to you by a glorified lightning rod or rabbit ears with tin foil bowties

Then color TV happened with a phrase of “brought to you in living color” with the image of peacock plumage, a true feast for the eyes

One day Ted Turner decided there was more to life than billboard advertising and bought a small UHF station and bounced the signal off satellite and television viewing was never the same

One could forego Bonanza or Lucy and watch roller derby, wrestling, old movies, or a Braves game

So the network owners invested in large satellite dishes and doled out the sudden influx of available programs and channels through their own cable organization

Soon the antennae the viewer used was outdated and that viewer was pressured to purchase cable “packages” that included uncut first run movies and non-stop sports plus all the trumped-up local charges added that usually offered no explanation

Crystal clear viewing touted by the cable companies (if the weather wasn’t storming) came with a price

The basic $32.99 package usually came with your local network affiliates, a couple of home shopping networks, a Christian station, and could be used only with a single device

You want the Movies? Add an extra $4.99. A sports package showing the major sports? Another $6.99. First run original shows? Again another $4.99. Or you can bundle them all for $16.99. And with this bundle you can now view the shows in two different rooms

The network executives fueled by their own greed quickly realized the more bait that’s dangled the more the viewer consumes

But cable and the satellite networks both had their problems. Cable required miles of wire and a fleet of service people. The satellite networks required service and careful placement of the dish. And still a summer thunderstorm could knock out both

Many times the beer was cold, the friends were there, it was game time, when a crack of lightning turned the TV screen off accompanied by choruses of a four letter oath

And then came the streaming services. Eureka, now the greed mongers could send their signal through the consumers’ own equipment and charge the suckers for their programming only without the fleet of service employees

And different programming can be selected by viewers and those selections can be funneled to advertisers in those cities

And much like cable, different levels of programming can still apply. Only now for different networks they can have their own upcharges. What’s another $2.95 per channel for uninterrupted viewing

It won’t be long before the monthly bill with all the fine print shows up for $175 with all the charges you’ve been accruing

And the golden goose of sports honks loudest of all. You want Thursday night NFL? Invest in a Prime Membership. NFL in Europe? Another upcharge. College game on ESPN 3? Invest you turkey. Wildcard game on Peacock? Give till it hurts

And when they’re lowering your casket into that cold ground as the family stands by in silence wondering where their next meal will come from. Just remember they’ll be thinking of the small fortune squandered to a group of greedy broadcasting perverts

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