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Kamala’s Krazy Kharacters

Hey Kids! What time is it?! It’s time again for the Kamala Show featuring her cast of crazy puppets

Just remember kids, these puppets all say the same thing, so they sure aren’t the Muppets

Kamala decided this is the best way to win the election. Let her puppets do her talking in their own lingo and she can hide from the press. Obviously an understudy of the demented one for the last four years

He wrote the democratic handbook on how to campaign. Come out of hiding, make a creepy, whispery, angry statement, then walk away while the world watches as he disappears

Because she can’t copy this blueprint exactly she decided to hide off-stage and let her puppets do the talking

That way she can continue to say nothing, take no questions, and not look like the dead man walking

Frieda the fry girl opens the show complete in the McDonald’s uniform with a hairnet smelling slightly like an eight dollar Big Mac

Asking a customer what kind of middle class burger they would like to fill up the sack

Next up is Mike the roughneck fracking puppet. Dressed in tough guy working clothes he praises Kamala for keeping fracking and bread on the table

What Mike doesn’t know is Kamala won’t sign the leases to permit fracking as soon as she is able

Coming on stage now is Sista Latrese, one of the black puppets Kamala takes for granted. “Of course we be voting for Kamala, cause we be part of the women of color club”

“We’re the future the democrats have been promising for 100 years and because democrats would never lie we’ll be learning to wash our greens in our middle class tub”

Hitting the stage next and keeping a wary eye out for ICE because she has no green card, is Juanita the Latin housekeeper.

Employed in a middle class home, Juanita is tired of changing linens and diapers but is grateful for the job she obtained because she works cheaper

“Still waiting on that free house,” screams Angelo the migrant Haitian puppet. “All we got now is hotel rooms, free phones and food, We demand middle class!”

Kids remember it was only six weeks ago Angelo was living in homeland squalor in a tin hut with a roof of grass

See how far Angelo’s come just by crossing the border and living off the goodness of the Red Cross and Catholic Charities

Just ignore the fact that empires have failed for centuries because of invasions, bad economies, and political divisions. History is a giant circle just look at the Roman Empire similarities

And to close out the the show is our favorite rapper Fat Slo Mo whose song We be freakin’ to the middle class is number one on the charts

With the lyrics “da bitches and da hoes better bring the goods,” we appreciate all the wisdom the song imparts

Hopefully Kamala doesn’t consider herself a hoe and the lyric is from a spurned rapper and just sour grapes

But both are hoping they don’t turn up in compromising positions on Diddy’s sex tapes

So kids come and spend an afternoon with Kamala and her friends

She won’t answer any questions and will stay quiet and not look stupid before to the White House she ascends

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The President’s Migrant Army

The applesauce was still dribbling off his chin when with shaking hands he put down his spoon

“I’ve giving them 24 hours to remove the razor wire and its almost noon”

“Now all those redneck flyover states have joined in a show of support for that goober Governor Abbott”

“He’s sending migrants to all my sanctuary cities, talking big, and popping up in the media like a bad habit”

“But I’ve figured out a way to squelch the independence notion and put those damn Texans back in their place”

“We can’t let the real Army start shooting up the Guard and those ragtag militias as that would cause us to lose face”

“Remember all the negative publicity concerning Kent State when the Ohio Guard shot those students that were unarmed”

“The government took a beating on that, but take a minute to think it was only four that were harmed”

“But this large group rallying around the border is spoiling for a fight. They’re not going to run like an unarmed seventeen-year old kid”

“But here’s a plan that will work, and we need to come to agreement in a hurry because it’s late morning and time for me to call a lid”

“My proposal is we start a double secret army of migrants and offer them full asylum until citizenship is granted and give them a gun”

“This way we can blame the cartels for the violence, wipe out some republicans and gain future voters. I call this a home run”

“Once we send those NRA militants packing, we bulldoze the razor wire”

“That allows the migrant surge to continue while I look like I negotiated a ceasefire”

“So it looks like a win for Team Blue as I look like a strong decisive leader while complying with the Big O’s vision for a new nation”

“So lets get this thing done because its time for my nap and medication”

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Failure Is Now An Acceptable Option

Failure is now an acceptable option and no further action will be taken
The new mantra of the current administration has left America shaken

Create one disaster after another and then walk away
The lack of policy has left the professional politicians and their campaign promises in disarray

The demented one in his foggy thought process spurned on by bad advice has the pooch hollering for more vaseline
His drive for all things electric has caused prices to jump on all consumer goods as the economy still functions on gasoline

There is chaos at the southern border, the illegals have paid the passage fare to the cartels so their entrance to America should be okay
And when trying to maintain some semblance of order by agents on horseback Biden growled, “those people will pay.”

The Statue of Liberty should be moved south with a new insciption stating, “send us your diseased, your gang members and drug runners”
We’ll just add our open border to our ever growing list of presidential blunders

There has been nothing for the US citizens to hang their Build Back Better hat on. Take the Afghanistan War—please
“Sound retreat and run” has become the motto for the new woke military and leave behind an undetermined number of detainees

Then create a vaccine mandate to disenfranchise the last remaining workforce in the States
Bring in the National Guard and appoint everyday store clerks to enforce the jab and determine all’s fates

One should have realized during the election campaign this guy is not a leader and not one to unite
Hiding in his basement, unable to answer any questions and too cowardly to fight

So Joe continue to pick the pills out of your applesauce and keep the prune juice flowing
And remember to use your numerous gaffes to befuddle your listeners so the world leaders aren’t sure if you’re coming or going

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