The dice had been rolled and Joe with the highest number had his pick of game pieces

He picked the top hat as he had spent 40 years standing in the shadows doing nothing as his little man frustration increases

He chose a running mate based solely on gender and race not on experience or qualifications

She was anointed strictly to vacuum votes but now was rallying her own troops to take command based on Joe’s shaky limitations

So stepping up to Go he rolled a six and slowly counting the squares landed on Oriental Ave

A tricky arrival as this was the home of the pandemic but this location had also been lining his son’s pockets and therefore his so he kept his head down as crossing them would be taboo

He had been hoping to land on Connecticutt so he could travel to his beach house and call a lid

That way he could hide from questions from his once fawning press and venture out only for a catastrophic event, God forbid

Next roll had him land on the Electric Company, the future of the Green New World

The country would soon be powered by landfill clogging toxic batteries and littered with giant ugly pinwheels that whorled

Snake eyes took him straight to Community Chest where he drew the card reading collect 50 dollars from every player

He could then donate this hard earned money to the blue cities to increase social worker positions to fight escalating crime at the discretion of the liberal mayor

A roll of three and he safely made it past New York Ave with the chaos of the Cuomo brothers, their new nutty governor and landed on Free Parking

He could hide there, not worry about public gaffes, take orders from his strategists and have a specific agenda for the future trip he would soon be embarking

Rolling a five he landed on a railroad whose value had greatly diminished as the goods they usually carried were currently languishing off the coast

Claiming he solved the supply issues his red headed mouthpiece issued the news. “We saved Christmas.” She would boast

A ten showing on the dice landed him on Pennsylvania Ave and immediately after his stiff legged jog to the White House his new puppy dumped on the floor

Another snake eyes and he landed on Chance and pulled the Get Out Of Jail Free card that he’d hold on to in case his former dealings were exposed and became too much to ignore

Snake eyes again and Luxury Tax stated pay $75. Joe just waved that on to the taxpayers as items like food, shelter and gas were now considered an amenity

He’d now survived one trip around the board but is realizing he has found the job overwhelming and was hoping by now for peaceful serenity

But he has three more circuits around the board to make and is running out of variants to hide behind

Within the next six months he’ll show the world what he’s made of and unfortunately the world will realize he really is out of his mind