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August 2024

Worthless

Growing up a few years ago things were different. People could be trusted and products worked

Today a major shift has happened. People have found that lying is easy and due to regulations products fail leaving one frustrated and irked

Oxford Languages defines worthless as “having no real value or use” or of a person “having no good qualities; deserving contempt”

What follows are occupations and products that are examples of worthless in spite of the occupations or solutions they attempt

Journalist: Once bound by a code of ethics, now bound only by publish or perish

Today simply publish a story based on hearsay or fiction and let the fact checkers sort it out no matter how garish

Obvious lies are published or broadcast for the sole reason of providing for the uniformed their daily doses of click-bait

The unwritten job description is to supply a fabrication designed strictly to create anxiety and hate

Intentional publishing the misinformation of today, a few short years ago would have resulted in a pink slip

Today falsifications can be blamed on Russian bots, an acceptable excuse as the mass media and the uniparty puppet masters are joined at the hip

Hurricane Expert: These people are considered experts in their field. The job exists only to sound the alarms on potential or approaching storms

Spewing facts about paths of destruction, tropical depressions, and what time of the year the Atlantic warms

When in reality all they do is panic the little old ladies into a milk and bread buying frenzy and cause homeowners insurance rates to inflate

A true expert would draw an X on the beach and state, “the next hurricane will make landfall right here on August 14th at eleven thirty-eight”

Cloth Masks: Perhaps the ultimate in worthless for disease control. Born from pandemic misinformation, legions of people took false hope behind the mask

It wasn’t questioned until actual experts over-rode the government orders and took the despicable gnome to task

It seems masking only worked with an airtight specific surgical mask but nothing was achieved by a purchase over the counter

The masking rule was all about government control and to create hate and distrust with any unmasked encounter

Gas cans: The new gas cans have morphed into a product that is virtually inoperable. The days of a metal can with a simple spout and air valve are a thing of the past

Now one has to support 40lbs of highly flammable liquid and push a lever with your knuckles while holding down the spout release with your thumb and hoping the gas you’ve slopped all over yourself and the mower doesn’t ignite a three block blast

A better idea brought to you courtesy of the deep thinking white collared elite on a government level

The fact they can change the rules as they seem fit doesn’t hide the fact the stupidity demonstrated day to day is monumental

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Price Controls, Gouging, and Groceries

Recently the Democratic nominee and VP of the US accused grocery stores of price gouging their shoppers

In trying to sound like she’s concerned and trying to deflect the effect of her personally endorsed Bidenomics, she’s telling another one of her socialist whoppers

Since the price of groceries affect everyone the grocery stores were easy prey for the bobblehead democrat bottom feeders

And by stating she’ll institute price controls where she feels necessary she flashed her socialist credentials just like other failed leaders

There are many products and services that could be rightfully accused of price gouging but groceries ain’t one of them

Starting with a simple product with a couple more to follow, these are products she might try to condemn

Greeting cards used to be a mainstay of the daily mail. A simple note of warm wishes and all was well

Now for a picture of a cute kitty and a happy birthday message, to forward that sentiment $5.99 is what you’ll shell

Mobile phones used to have roaming charges. A very limited area in which calls were included in your plan and outside that (usually the end of your driveway) the price of any call would jump

Now all the plans have their own ways of extracting your hard-earned dough from your wallet as it all comes out of the hidden charges in a monthly lump

The healthcare industry has gotten away with highway robbery for years

Now because the insurance companies are calling the shots, for any kind of malaise you’ll need to see multiple doctors for colds, cuts, and pap smears

The docs all need their piece of the pie since insurance companies are making money from them and the insured hand over fist

The doctors have had to put their patients on a medical merry-go-round just to remove a cyst

TV used to be simple. A person could erect an antennae and get three network stations and if near a city maybe on a clear night get a UHF station

Now with cable and streaming services for only $99.99 one can get the same stations, some completely unwatchable programs, and stations that only appeal 1% of the population

There are many industries that have made their billions by price gouging the consumer year in and year out

But don’t pick on the grocers like some ranting ignorant lout

Because people know when they’re cash strapped due to your inflation, and they’re trying to get their family something to eat

You’ll find them at the discount food warehouses looking for dented cans of 59 cent black eyes and “use by tomorrow” gray meat

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One if by Land, Two if by Sea, Three if by Internet

In the poem “Paul Revere’s Ride,” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow advised that lanterns hung in the belfry tower would signal British troops advancing. One lantern by land two if by sea

Should Longfellow been able to see into the future he would also inform if by internet, hang three

When three kids were slashed to death and ten others wounded at a Taylor Swift themed party, it was erroneously posted the suspect was an asylum seeker

The thought of children lying in pools of blood presented a picture that couldn’t be painted any bleaker

Frustrated people looking for an excuse to riot seized the opportunity and looted and burned

The fact that previously citizens had been storing anger for a decade watching their country being turned into a third world ghetto didn’t have the powdered wigs at all concerned

However when the European Commissioner for Internal Markets and Services, Thierry Breton, received notice that Elon Musk was interviewing Donald Trump he had a hissy fit

Still working on the wedgie given to him in primary school for being named Thierry, he issued a toothless statement enforcing censorship in the US knowing the current US administration would permit

It seems the Biden/Harris administration is all for speech censorship if it concerns something they don’t approve

They would like nothing better than the ability to look a written statement that didn’t defend socialism, money laundering, and mass immigration and have the right to remove

The dreaded EU regulated DSA or Digital Services Act was passed in October 2022 regulating social network intent

When passed the European Commission Executive Vice President Margarethe Vestager declared “Democracy’s back” implying we’ll censor your dissent

The censorship train is on the way. All the lanterns are lit. Only this time it’s to warn us of our own policymakers

We need to question the inaction of our own duly elected “movers and shakers”

So before opened greeting cards are received in the mail and text messages are intercepted

Free speech is a tool that built America and citizens cannot let censorship be accepted

Should the British government continue to feel they have the right for America’s free speech to attack

We won’t dump tea this time, we’ll send Harry and Meghan back

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A Toast To The Flibbertigibbet

Wikipedia defines a Flibbertigibbet as a flighty or whimsical person usually a young woman. Modern uses include a gossipy or overly talkative person

After three and a half years of Biden, Obama’s hand-picked replacement is the word salad speaking cackling Kamala Harris causing the worldwide status of the US to worsen

The power bloc of the east had gathered around the table. Russia, Iran, N. Korea and Cuba were there with China agreeing to attend

The group needed China for them to flourish and any movement on their part without notifying Chairman Xi would probably offend

The time to strike is now. The west is in disarray without any true commander

The United States was stretched thin with two wars and weakened with a lame duck President whose only appearances were feeble attempts at slander

The group at the table knew the time had come to cut the head off the western snake

Plans that had been in the works for years were laid on the table as new world domination was now at stake

China sat silently knowing that within four months her tanks would be patrolling the streets to Taipei City

And as the group was quietly voicing their plans hoping for the nods of approval, N. Korea advised the continuation of rocket testing to the committee

Iran, fueled by pallets of cash and uranium from the US, advised they would be upping their engagements of war in helping to wipe Israel off the map

Observing they would further weaken the US military by baiting them into a three-cornered trap

NATO would continue to backpedal from its commitment as Russia begins to withhold fuel supplies

The European nations talk tough but will fold with cold weather and the sound of their countrymen’s cries

And with Russia standing pat on the Ukrainian offensive, Putin is more than willing to play the waiting game

Eventually the Ukrainian people will tire of being cannon fodder for an increasingly senseless border war and end the conflict to avoid taking the blame

Looking around the table the group laughed at the prospect of the woman the US was trying to present as strong

They know power, they know strength, there are certain people that project this might and this woman doesn’t belong

Raising their glasses they all exclaimed, “Here’s to the flibbertigibbet may she win in a rout”

“We’ll continue to supply the internet with misleading bots and stuff the ballot boxes, then show the world real power without a doubt”

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Going For The Gold

As the Olympics are winding down there are some medals that may have been overlooked

It seems Paris needed to create some new medals for all the squatters and immigrants the city ran out of the area because they were overbooked

So the city fashioned a medal for each of the unfortunates to treasure while they were forced to live on the streets

And made sure the cameras didn’t see them, ruining the view from the visiting elites

There was also a new medal for the fastest assembly of the new cardboard beds

The gold would go to the athlete with the best time combined with the best use of the Olympic themed spreads

Most of the Olympic Village guests were disqualified as they used the spread for a window covering since there were no curtains offering no time for privacy and solitude

Giving the athletes scarcely any alone time to adjust their game-time attitude

There was also a little known medal called the cafeteria race given to the winner in the form of the lone piece of meat

It seems the person in charge of food service figured the participants existed on brocolli and bean sprouts as the only fuel needed to compete

Finally, the last unknown medal was handed to marathoners who braved the waters of the river Seine

These medals were for bravery as the questionable water quality was checked daily for e-coli so the swimmers didn’t spend three days shooting antibiotics doubled up in pain

There were plenty of highlights from the games. The opening ceremony featured a woke version of the Last Supper painting

The depiction horrified a lot of America and had little old ladies fainting

The women’s gymnastics team dubbed the Golden Girls summoned up the gold led by Simone Biles

All activity stops while she is on the floor, the routine finishes, she sticks the landing and smiles

At the Olympics in 2052 the crowd will cheer when Katie Ledecky uses a rollator to get to her starting blocks

And then swims to four more medals while she blows her competitors out of their socks

When the US mens gymnastic team needed a flawless performance to medal they called on Stephen Nedoroscik

Putting down his glasses and hopping on the pommel horse with a perfect routine scoring high enough to do the trick

Other highlights include the Turkish air pistol shooter winning silver looking like he just stepped out of the audience and said “hold my beer”

Anthony Ammirati from France giving a new meaning to the term pole vault showing that except for a suddenly conspicuous bulge he might have been able to clear

And so it goes an evening of tape delay video filled with commercials that in no way will enhance your fitness

But as the champions emerge you can sit in your easy chair and claim to be a virtual witness

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