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An Observer of Life in Bad Poetry

Commentary on Daily Life, Politics and Sports

Month

October 2016

Billary

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“Thank you for coming Ms.Hinton and please have a seat.”

“We The People are delighted to have a chance to meet.”

“We’ll take a quick look at your resume, if you have any comments please pipe in.”

“So if you’re comfortable where you are let us begin.”

“It says here you graduated from Yale Law School.”

“And if I may call you Billary that would be cool.”

“It was not long before landing a job with the House Judiciary Committee.”

“You tried to deny Richard Nixon the right to counsel as you took no pity.”

“Then conspired to violate the Constitution by hiding precedent files from public view.”

“Nothing was ever proven,” Billary replied. “So those accusations are untrue.”

“Continuing on, it looks like you left the East Coast to follow your husband to Arkansas.”

“That’s correct, I went to work at Rose Hips Law Firm to dispense my take on the the law.”

“I called my husband Saxophone Willie as he liked to play with his horn.”

“And to have my shot to uphold the laws of the State as Willie has sworn.”

“You see I thought with Willie in charge as a bonus you got my judgment too.”

“His office would give me a lot of camera face time to help with my real dream to pursue.”

“So tell me about Whitewater, “said We the People. “And all that land swindle stuff.”

“Well,” she replied, “Nothing about that was ever tied to me.” Her voice angry and in a huff.

“Ma’am there are records here that shows you were involved,” stated We The People.

“Also shown is documentation of a loan official you attempted to wheedle.”

“From what I read this seems to be a veiled attempt to deceive the financial regulators.”

Again she smiled, “I was never charged with anything at all by the investigators.”

“Well let me take a second to recap the next few years of your political life.”

“They don’t seem smooth at all, in fact filled with bitterness and strife.”

“At first all was good after you went to Washington to become first lady of the United States.”

“So you now had the opportunity to have your seal on a set of White House plates.”

“It seems that as First Lady you were put in charge of a healthcare plan.”

“So instead of seasoned lawmakers, Willie decided you were best to carry the can.”

“The proposal was conceived and presented but only after the budget had been ratified.”

“And the request for additional mega dollars left the voting lawmakers mortified.”

“With the plan rejected, your time was spent defending Willie when he played with his horn.”

“And hoping that you would look stronger while trying to deflect the American people’s scorn.”

“The term First Lady meant not in charge, so maybe Senator would work out better.”

“This would slide you out of Saxophone Willie’s shadow and show you to be a true go-getter.”

“As a Senator from New York, you promised an increase in jobs.”

“You then passed along a small grant to Corning, sort of a softball lob.”

“But that did virtually nothing to increase employment in your district.”

“But to the voting public, there didn’t appear much intent to conflict.”

“But Corning was later to send many dollars to your campaign and foundation.”

“During your reign thousands of jobs disappeared, said to be economic fluctuation.”

“Seven bills were introduced by you and all seven were defeated.”

“You felt that insiders were against you by the way you were treated.”

“So forget trying to work as a team player, time to run for the President of the United States.”

“You were then defeated by an unknown man who blew past you from the starting gates.”

“It was failure by you not to realize that the young and minorities had a very strong voting bloc.”

“To ignore a large vote based on your arrogance, he had an easy time gathering his flock.”

“Later to keep you under his thumb he asked you to work for him as Secretary of State.”

“Putting on a brave front, you silently fumed your actions were his to delegate.”

“So you went out to the world to show what we represent.”

“What was left behind was a trail of ruined relationships to a large extent.”

“It seems you presented the Russian Foreign Minister with a red button reset.”

“An attempt to forgive Soviet transgressions with a silly toy was met by an eye rolling nyet.”

“The support of Egypt’s leader Morsai whom you called a peacemaker.”

“And poured billions of tax dollars into this mover and shaker.”

“The people of Egypt then overthrew your chosen man of peace.”

“As the United States influence in the middle east continued to decrease.”

“You were served with an extra large pie of crow and you had a giant slice.”

“As our former allies turned to Putin and Russia and didn’t think twice.”

“This resume states you couldn’t be bothered and played your fiddle while Benghazi burned.”

“And the calls for help prior to the attack went unanswered as you were not concerned.”

“The dead naked U.S. Ambassador was dragged through the streets but not before being tortured and raped.”

“To which you replied in a condescending tone to the inquiry, ‘What difference does it make?”

“It apparently didn’t make much difference to you, but we need to end our talk.”

“We see that you have the ability to hide the truth, you know, walk the politicians’ walk.”

We The People then asked another question. “Do you have much more to highlight?”

Oh, I have a lot more to discuss,”said Billary. “And nothing a court can use to indict.”

“Okay, I’ll give you the short version for you the people to judge.”

“This should clarify my ability as a lawmaker so you won’t hold a grudge.”

“Though I sent my toadie into Iran to start the discussions on the nuclear deal.”

“I wasn’t there when the treaty was signed so I can’t be accused of an attempt to conceal.”

“I set up in my basement and used a private server to send and receive texts.”

“And covered it up by acting innocent, confused and perplexed.”

“Saxophone Willie had to give up his honorary position at Laureate International University.”

“It was a pay for profit school open to all people with their last dollars as one of my nods to diversity.”

“I’ve changed my stance on several items to appease this current crop of voters.”

“This has to happen as I tour different regions of the country as I am my favorite promoter.”

“I’m now for free college, revamped healthcare, and a feel good tax reform.”

We The People nodded their heads and said, “tax increases by your party run true to form.”

”You’re big into climate change, gun control and wiping out student loans.”

“With that in mind, the National Debt must be an item to condone.”

“So now it’s time now to bring in the next contender.”

“And perhaps this person might not be a multi infraction offender.”

“It looks like you have all the qualifications to be a first rate  Washington democrat.”

“Hopefully you can pull the wool over naive voters eyes before they smell a rat.”

Bachelor Cooking

 

The art of dating through civilization has always been difficult

Just showing up, clean clothes, trying not to insult

First date awkwardness, forced laughs, and clumsy touches

And she’s judging you every minute hoping to avoid groping clutches

So a couple of dates go by, a restaurant, movie and a kiss at the door

You need to get her to your place to show you’re the one to fall for.

She accepts the invitation to see your place and have a meal

It sounded good when asked but second thought on the way home less than ideal

The refrigerator has it’s usual inventory of out of date stale stuff

Two leather like cheese slices, half a flat beer and a slightly green cream puff

In the freezer there are three ice trays entombed in frost and two TV dinners

The dinners are called Manly Gut Busters and don’t sound like winners

“I’ll go to the grocery and pick up some bagged salad and linguine.”

“That’ll look a lot better than freezer frost and that green cream puff thingy.”

Off to bed secure in the knowledge that you can serve a decent meal

And she might just form the opinion that your much more than a sexist heel

At six in the morning the boss calls and orders you immediately to work

New clients are coming and need to be appeased or Head Quarters will go berserk

Trudging into work you know full well that in just twelve hours

You’ll need to call on all your very limited chef like powers

The day drags on, the clients aren’t all they were cranked up to be

Big talkers, lots of demands, and limited credit fit them to a tee

The six hour rear numbing meeting ended with nothing resolved

Later, stuck in traffic wondering from what form of algae they evolved

It’s now seventy minutes and fourteen stoplights until your date arrives

With a goal to get home and prepare a dinner everyone survives

At light number six you pull into a store to buy the supplies

After a five minute wait at the register, you get your surprise

Your wallet is in your jacket pocket hanging on the office coat rack

The checkout person is now staring at your groceries already in the sack

Mumbling a lame excuse about your wallet was left in the car

You race out across the lot swearing at the stupidity and jump into your wheels

Trying to put a meal together that doesn’t look like the fast food dollar deals

Struggling through the last stoplight and the apartment complex maze

Remembering there were still two frozen dinners and three ice cube trays

Maybe something’s there because by now she is on the way

Desperation arrived first, the Gutbusters will do and let the chips fall where they may.

Opening the freezer door, the dinners are pried up with a spoon and the heel of your shoe

Wiping off the the film of ice hoping the instructions weren’t to fogged to view

They read to remove dinner from package and to preheat oven to 500 degrees

Roll back the foil to uncover the Apple Brown Betty but don’t expose the peas

Looking at the the frozen glob of exposed food it reminded of cleaning a February dog yard

And at the requested temperature you hope it doesn’t end up charred

The oven is loaded with the two foil dinner trays squeezed side by side

In ten minutes the oven was belching smoke from old taco cheese that had dried

Hoping the smoke would subside by full speed oven exhaust

There wasn’t much else to do but keep the fingers crossed

Remembering the drinks, perhaps serving ice water in stemware

Would make the meal look like it was prepared with thoughtful care

Only twenty more minutes and Miss Right should be coming through the door

When the text message tone on the phone buzzed in too loud to ignore

“Something’s come up,” wrote Miss Right. “I’m going to have to cancel for the night.”

There was no name attached but that might be considered polite

That was followed by the little yellow emojli with the big frown

Add the person who created those to my list of who I’d like to track down

Ten minutes notice, a smoke filled kitchen and two half done TV dinners

Obviously this evening wasn’t designed for winners

So twenty minutes later you’re dining on four emaciated drum sticks and thirty two peas

Added to that two spoons of mashed potatoes and bubbling brown goop of at least 1000 degrees

Later sucking an ice cube to nurse the mouth blister from the Apple Brown Betty burn

You rationalize the evening was one to live and learn.

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